Disclaimer: The author of this piece does not, in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights to the characters belong to Shonda Rhimes, their original creator.

Part One – Denial

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." - Mark Twain

Nine months. No scratch that, it's been just over nine months now since I've started this. That's somewhere in the mix of two hundred and seventy five days and the last two hundred and ten of those days have been spent in a super desert-filled hot box. And tomorrow will be two hundred and seventy six if this plane doesn't fly any faster. In case you're wondering why I'm counting, it's because that's how long I've been deployed in Iraq. And every waking moment that I wasn't elbow deep in some poor soldier's chest cavity trying to save his life, I was thinking about my girls and the moment our family would be reunited.

Four years ago I wouldn't have thought twice about having one. A family, that is. For once upon a time before gunshots and shrapnel wounds, I was a pediatric surgeon so in love with the most beautiful orthopedic surgeon at Seattle Grace. From her accidentally kicking me while we slept at night to her incredible Spanish tantrums where I pretended to know what she was yelling at me, I adored everything about her. It only took one bold kiss in a questionable bar restroom to set the catalysis in motion for what could be considered one of the most epic love stories at our hospital. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Ever since my Peds fellowship, I never wanted kids nor did I want to share my life with partner who did. There were enough sick children in the world with parents who did nothing more than want to love and expand their family. No one was at fault for their disorders, cancers, or the diseases that plague these little troopers. And as resilient as children are, not all of them make it. I couldn't bring a child into this world knowing everything that I did. Instead, I pledged to save the ones that came into my care.

Then she came along, following me on rounds and making cute faces at the babies in the nursery. She eased away the nightmares of tiny coffins and before I knew it she had become my person, the one I was destined to spend my life with. Baring the awesome medical expertise I've accomplished, on the day I knew we exchanged I loved you's, I vowed to myself that if the one good thing I did in my lifetime was making her happy then I'll have lived a good life. So around year two when the baby bug bit and now wife's biological clock started to tick, I knew I had no choice. One trip to see her best friends' coworker who is a fertility specialist in Los Angeles and a month later, Calliope was pregnant.

Forty weeks passed in a blur and a baby girl was blessed upon us. Thalia, named just like her birth mother was after one of the Greek muses: the muse of comedy and idyllic poetry. For every minute with her, Calliope and I were laughing and loving her more and more. I never thought it was possible to care for someone so much or to love them so unconditional, but the moment my little girl took her first breath I knew my life would never be the same.

Months passed and things became strained between Callie and me. Some might say it was the stress of a newborn and our jobs, but it was so much more than that. The aftermath of our country's war on terrorism had finally reached our hospital. Owen Hunt, a veteran to the chaos himself, opened our doors to military vets needing surgery, rehab, and counseling. And the Chief didn't complain as the government was footing the bill and then some.

Every doctor and nurse at Seattle Grace did what he or she could to help. At first I picked up a few cases here and there, mostly as homage to my brother who'd given his life to the marines. But a few case started to become a few more. I began working more than interns and residents combined. Something about these brave men and women dulled the pain of seeing tiny coffins in the same way that Calliope's love for me did too. My work with the vets flourished while my neglected pediatrics ward fell into a decline. I shouldn't have been surprised when the Chief asked me if I wanted to step down as the Head of Peds and take a full time position in Trauma, but I was. The tiny coffins returned that night.

The next morning I entered back into the closet and joined up with the Army with orders to deploy as general surgeon. It was the closest I could get to the Marines with the tools and cards I was dealt.

Deep down I think Calliope knew this was going to happen. Night after night, I'd come home from the hospital and regale her with stories of my soldier patients. She'd nurse the baby and tell me that's nice, probably silently praying the whole time that it was just a phase. So when I told her about joining up, I wasn't surprised when she took Thalia and locked me out of the bedroom for the night. She cried, the baby cried, and a part of me died.

After completing an accelerated basic training camp, I was commissioned and immediately given deployment orders. Thalia was nine months old by the time I left. Callie and I were barely on speaking terms by that point. Though her ex-husband had never actually made it over seas, she'd considered George O'Malley's life to be taken away by the military. She wouldn't stand by and watch me to do the same thing. Come deployment d-day, she didn't even see me off to the airport when I left. Owen and Teddy took me instead, bringing my beautiful daughter with them for one last good bye.

When I reached FOB Liberty, I quickly checked my email to find a message sent from Callie. Figuring it was a Dear John letter breaking up with me, I let the email go unread. Days passed by at an agonizing pace, as I couldn't bring myself to delete it. But just as mysteriously as the first one appeared in my inbox, another came and then another until one morning when I stumbled upon one of my scrub nurses looking at my computer screen with my email account wide open.

At first I assumed I was found out and would be dishonorably discharged then sent back home. I could see it now. The disappointment I'd cause my father, the shame I'd be marked with from now and forever, and the loneliness I was going to experience when I returned home to no wife and child. Instead, the nurse turned to me, tears in her eyes, and told me that my partner and I had a beautiful daughter. Before I could fight and speak those horrible lies about how that child wasn't mine, the nurse sat me down at the computer and opened the first email.

It was video clip of Calliope with a nine month old Thalia on her lap.

"Ready? Okay… Come on Lia. Say it for the camera!" Callie encouraged.

The tot looked doubtfully at the screen before Callie tickled her. Her laughter brought warmth to my body as I imagined myself there behind them, probably whispering something silly in Callie's ear then leaning down to give sweet kisses to Thalia.

"Come on Lia! Just one more time, please?"

"Mama!"

Callie began shouting all sorts of praise at our daughter, swinging her around then pulling her in for big hug. When she gained her composure, my rockstar turned back to the camera and spoke, "Her first word. I wish you were here to see it. Teddy and Owen said she was trying to say something kinda like it when you left yesterday morning. She just woke up determined to say it today."

The tot tried again. "Mama!"

"We miss you both so much. Please be safe over there. I love you."

"Mama! Mama! Mama!"

Thalia squealed bouncing up and down on Callie's lap.

"That's right, baby girl!"Callie praised again.

Our child then reached from something just out of view. It took a second before she pulled it close to her mouth and drooled on it a bit. It was a wallet sized photo of me, dressed in my uniform. Callie laughed and took it from her as Thalia squealed one last time, "Mama!"Just before the video clip ended.

Day after day more video clips came as did pictures, letters, and the occasional care package. She sent videos of 'Mama' then other words came along too. No was a big hit much to Calliope's dismay. Still, I watched them all from her first steps to her first birthday and even that disastrous first time with a sippy cup; every single milestone for my now toddler aged daughter.

Eventually, I did answer Calliope, apologizing at first for this rash decision and career change. She accepted it almost too easily and soon become my confident to the war and chaos that surrounded me daily. When I was scared, she would be there to smooth my cries wishing she could reach through the webcam to hold me. I couldn't ask for more. With oceans between us, we slowly gained back the relationship we once had. And I counted down the days until I could return my girls; all two hundred and seventy five super fantastic days.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The pilot came on over the intercom and the seatbelt light came on.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, if you all could fasten your seatbelts, we're about to land at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport in Seattle Washington. The current temperature outside is a brisk thirty-four degrees, so remember to bundle up when you go outside. We'd like to thank you for flying United out of BWI and we'd also like to give a special thanks to Captain Robbins, a doctor in the Army who's been on broad with us this flight. Captain Robbins is returning home after being deployed in harm's way for a nine-month tour. Welcome Home, Captain."

The other passengers applauded me as they leaned out of their chairs and craned their necks to get a glimpse the war hero sitting in four F. I gave the nosey flight attendant who'd chatted me up earlier in the flight a quick smile and buckled my seatbelt. The plane landed without any issues. I still hate flying.

A good thing about airports and being in uniform is civilians usually let you go ahead of them in line. This comes in handy as I zip through security and other gates then onto baggage claim. My pack is pretty easy to spot in a sea of black suitcases, but finding her would prove to be something else. The last correspondence I had with Callie was at Andrews Air Force base when I had called to say I had landed back in the States. She'd let out the longest breathe I've ever heard, like she'd be holding it in since I'd left. We made plans to have her pick me up at the airport with Thalia. We were going to get it right this time around.

I find myself rushing more and more as I go through each terminal searching for her. Not even sure why at this moment. I've known that I won't even be able to hold her the way I want without it being considered a breach of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. And the thoughts I'd had about her would definitely be considered a huge violation of Article 134. I guess most soldiers come just go back to their loved ones would be in violation of it, but somehow I think I'd be the one they couldn't turn a blind eye to.

But then I see her.

She's got Thalia out of the stroller and is swinging her around and around as my daughter happily laughs crying out, "Mama!" It's like listening to angels as I hear her say that for the first time in person. I approach them slowly, taking in the stunning sight of my girls. They're so joyful unlike when I left. Remembering Thalia as she squirmed in Teddy's arms trying to get back to me plagued me with nightmares for weeks on end. But that day I left, Owen told me to keep my nose down and made me promise I'd come back to my family alive and well. I'm glad I kept that promise.

"Calliope?" I call to her.

She stops and turns to me.

"Oh God…" she cries.

I embrace the two of them never wanting to be apart from either of them again.

"You're okay… Thank God you're okay," Callie cries suppressing her sobs into my shoulder. She pulls back and looks to Thalia who looks unsure of things more then I do.

"Lia, you remember Momma!" says Callie, setting our daughter down on her own two feet trying to reason with her.

"Thalia, it's me. I've missed you so much, baby." I say kneeling down to her level. With tears now streaming down my face, I reach for her. Thalia's gotten so big in nine short months. I feel as though I've lost an eternity with her.

And apparently I have as she cries in fear and burrows back into the safety of Calliope's side.

"Lia, that's Momma! You don't have to be afraid of her."

"It's okay baby!" I try again,. "Shhh…Hey, its okay. I know it's a little scary right now. I'm scared too, but it'll be okay. I've missed you, Thalia."

I reach again for my beautiful baby girl, but again, the child screams like I'm a stranger about to snatch her away.

"Callie?" I cry seeking some type of guidance from her.

"It'll be okay," Callie apologized and gathers the child back up into her arms. "She just probably doesn't remem—" And stops herself there.

She doesn't have to continue though. The damage is done. I just have to twist the knife now to ensure the suffering.

"Like she doesn't remember me."

"It'll be okay, Arizona."

I'm pretty sure I just told our child the same thing and she screamed her opinion about that one loud and clear.

"It's just been awhile," Callie continues. "She'll warm up to you once we get back to the house. She's probably overwhelmed. A familiar environment will help."

"Yeah, it's fine. She's just probably overwhelmed."

Lying to my self never felt so good.