Journey to Nerima
by Wraith

Disclamer: Ranma 1/2 is not mine. Neither is Journey to the West.

" " - speaking | ' ' - thoughts | * * - actions

In the sky somewhere, three strange looking humanoids were cloud walking.

"Hey brother, where exactly are we going?" one of them who looked like a pig asked. "I'm getting bored as hell."

"Anywhere. Man it's been over 1000 years since we had any excitement at all. Ever since we got those stupid scriptures for Master nothing exciting happened since." a monkey-like cloudwalker replied. 'Well, World War II may be an exception, but it's too...technological for me. Magic is the key to excitement.' However his deep thought was interrupted by a loud shout. 'What the?'

"Hey Monkey!" A demon-like human suddenly whizzed next to Monkey on his cloud.

"What?"

"Did you hear? A demi-god was defeated a few days ago!"

"So what Sand? [Sand is a name] These things happen quite often. Why so excited?" Monkey snored.

"I'm not finished." Sand grinned. "This demi-god, Saffron I believe his name is, was defeated by a mortal. Apparently this mortal's powers are so great that they destroyed the land surrounding their fight. Jusenkyo, to be specific."

"Saffron?! *sigh* I told my disiciple's disiciple's disiciple's....(repeat 416 times) disiciple to tell him not to understimate prospective martial artists. The kid just couldn't listen. Oh well, what's done is done. But this is interesting indeed."

"Who's this guy?" Pig asked. "Let me fight him. He seems like a worthy opponent."

"Urm...I'm not sure. But they live in Nerima, I'm sure of that. But in any case, it's just Saffron, so what if a mortal defeated him? He's not even worth our time."

"Aw come on! Let's just go please? I mean, we do need some excitement after all. Come on!" Pig started to descend with his cloud towards Nerima. Monkey and Sand sighed and had no choice but to follow him.

Meanwhile in Nerima, at the Tendo household...

"RANMA!" Akane yelled. "YOU BETTER TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY PERFECT YAKISOBA!"

"Geez 'Kane! I wus being nice to ya. I was being nice to you saying that it doesn't smell right!"

"Arrgh....don't give me that bulls***! Try it then criticize!" Akane was practically fuming. Ranma could've sworn he saw puffs of smoke rising from Akane's head, but dismissed it, thinking it as his imagination. But that was about to change. And now folks, the classic foot in mouth comment.

"Fine I'll tell you the truth. it smells so bad it makes onions cry! And if it smells that bad, what makes you think I'll even taste it!?" 'Ouch that comment bites!' Ranma stuck out his tongue in a playful manner to assuage the hurtful comment, not that it help ease out Akane one bit. Sure enough, Akane took the tongue sticking out as more of an insult, and promptly summoned the largest mallet you'd ever see. Ranma became the first test subject ever from that mallet by having a nice ride to the sky.

Somewhere in the kitchen, Kasumi noticed a bottle of half used tar. "Oh my, Akane must've thought this was oyster sauce."

'Wow...this feels like I'm flying Mach 3. Speaking of which, that shaver is pretty darn good. It is indeed a close shave.' Ranma was still flying when he noticed three weird looking people ... flying! But it's not courtesy of Mallet Airlines. They're controlling their flight! 'Dang. That mallet must've been quite big.'

"Hey check it out, Sand!" Pig laughed at Ranma who was currently 'flying'.

"Another cloud walker?"

"No idiot, somebody just hit this boy a bit too hard. I should find out who that person is. Hey you there!"

"What? Me?" Ranma reached the apex of his flight, then started going down.

"Yes you! Hey wait up!" Monkey, Pig, and Sand started to descend, following Ranma.

A minute later, a female Ranma rose up from the Tendo koi pond., but soon fell again with a huge pig on top of her. 'This is not my day. Hey isn't this Katsushita, Akari's champion sumo pig?'

"Pig, I can't believe even after so long you still crash land when riding on clouds." Monkey laughed. "Say, who are you anyway? It looks like you're a victim of a Jusenkyo curse."

"C...can't bre..breathe...get this damn pig of...offa m..m..me!" Ranma-chan tried to roll off in vain.

Pig chuckled. "Sorry." and got off Ranma-chan. "Hey you went to Jusenkyo!"

"Jeez! One question at a time. I'm Ranma Saotome, yes yes nice to meat y'all. And yes, how did you know?" Ranma-chan gawked. She realized it was the second time some outsider instantly recognized a Jusenkyo curse without her or some other Jusenkyo victim tell them.

Monkey laughed. "What do you mean how would I know! Of course I know! You don't live a few hundred thousand years for nothing! So you turn to a female when hit by cold water. Do you like the curse?"

"No of course not! And did you say a few hundred thousand years or was it just my ear?"

"You heard correctly. Now Ranma, can you give me a cup of cold water?"

"Um ok." Ranma quickly went in to the house, quickly greeting everyone, except Akane, who was still fuming after Ranma's little fiasco with what she thought was food. She went into the kitchen and quickly filled a large mug with cold water, and at the same time changing herself back to his original form. 'Few hundred THOUSAND years. They've gotta be crazy. Although I don't believe them, I have to admit it might be true. After all this place IS Nerima. Now why would those three flying freaks want cold water anyway?' he thought to himself. But something told him that the water wasn't for them to drink...something definetely more than just refreshing themselves. "Here you go," handing the mug of cold water to the trio.

"Thanks," Monkey replied. Then he started to recite an incantation. The area around them darkened while the cup shone a bright blue. Ranma closed his eyes as the light intensified. Thunder and lightning rocked the tempestous sky, making Kuno's lightning after saying "Blue Thunder of Furkinkan High" seem like an atomic bomb vs. a toy grenade.

"Oh my! What is going on outside!" Kasumi held on to a bar to keep herself steady.

"Ahh! I hate thunder!" Soun wailed. Soon a small flood started to ensue.

"Oh no not more trouble. Saffron was a pain. Now what?!" Akane trembled. She remembered her near death experience. It was Ranma's care for her and his "I love you!" speech that brought Akane back. She sighed. 'If only he didn't deny. Things could be so much more peaceful then. But now this!'

As soon as she said it, the darkness stopped, and Nerima was sunny once more. Kasumi stabilized herself, and got back to cleaning dishes. Soun tried to stop swimming in his own tears, but to no avail, and Akane stormed outside to check out what the hell was happening.

"Ranma! What new enemy did you-" Akane froze. She blinked. She gaped. 'It can't be. Can it be? It has to be!' With such a thought, she fainted. Ranma noticed her falling and sped off to Akane's side to ease her fall. He looked down at her face, admiring its cuteness and noticed something that only happened in his fantasies, only now it's reality.

'No way, this is a dream I'm having! I'll dive into the koi pond and wake up. Yea, that's it!' Ranma dove into the koi pond and jumped out. Monkey chuckled at everyone's reaction once Ranma got out.

He was still male.

Notes: My very first story written in my life. (If you don't count those stories you have to write in school). Please be easy on me! R & R...no flames but constructive criticism is welcome! Thanks. Oh yeah this is a little intro chapter so I guess this is a prologue.