OKAY, HERE'S PINOCCHIO'S! I'M SORRY THIS ONE'S LATER THAN THE REST, LIFE GOT IN THE WAY. HERE YOU GO!
DON'T OWN ONCE UPON A TIME.
Parents always tell their children not to lie. It's the first of many life lessons. My name is Pinocchio. Disney likes to sugarcoat everything. For example, they say that as long as you don't lie, everything will be fine. That's not true. My father put me in a magical wardrobe to save me from the Evil Queen's curse, and that resulted in her Royal Pain in the you-know-what growing up without parents. I was supposed to watch out for her and I ran from that responsibility because I was a young boy. I regret it to this day. It all worked out, though. Emma broke the curse and I'm once again a real boy –or uh, man. The only problem is I have to face a scolding from my father, and most likely Emma for almost dying on her. Honestly, I don't know which one I should fear more. Back on my rant, just don't lie, because even if you do tell the truth, it doesn't mean there won't be consequences for your actions. If there's one thing to take from this, it's that. Never lie about your name, either. I don't know where I came up with August –it wasn't even the month we arrived in your world. Ever since I realized that, I vowed to always be truthful. I skirt around the truth, and always let people assume things. It's not the easiest way to go about things, but I am happy being a typewriter wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stubble.