Title: Makes Me Wonder
Author: y0ungalaska
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I own nothing by my ideas. RIB owns everything. I just like to play...
A/N: Ok so, I know that you are all expecting this love fest between the two girls, but I wanted to go a different way. This is a one-shot. That's it. I needed to just...get it out because my heart hurts lol. Anyway, I wanted Quinn to finally be a friend to Rachel (seeing as Rachel is always a friend to her) So this is what I came up with. I think it got carried away at the end, but I didn't want to erase it because it's 1am and I wouldn't have ever posted it if I didn't now. lol. It's spacey and I may go back and re-write it, but for now, I'm posting it.
So, I own nothing but my ideas. All mistakes are my own. And I hope that you enjoy. Also, if you don't, I will accept bricks because, as I said, it's no love fest :)
Makes Me Wonder
Kurt walked up to Rachel as soon as he entered the choir room. Rumors had been abuzz for the past two hours and for those same two hours, he'd tried his hardest to find the girl but always came up empty. They didn't share their last three classes together so the only place he could look was her locker through passing periods and he'd always come up short. As soon as his eyes set sights on the brunette before Glee, he'd hastily taken her by the arm and drug her away from the light and what seemed to be enjoyable conversation she was having with Tina, Mercedes and Mike.
"Kurt, unhand me right this minute." She spoke in a determined voice as she yanked her arm from his hand. "What has gotten into you? I was politely speaking with my glee club members and that was quite rude of you. To just rip me away and in mid sentence, might I add..."
Kurt waved his hand to cut her off. He'd been waiting, impatiently, to confront her about the rumors looming the halls of McKinley and as much as he loved her, he really didn't have time for a Rachel Berry talking to.
"Is it true?" He asked, his eyes cutting to Blaine who was now seated in the back row.
"Is what true? Kurt, I would be more inclined to answer your question if you'd state exactly what you're asking." She huffed and her arms crossed against her chest.
"About the proposal," his eyes wandered back to the girl in front of him and he watched as she immediately stiffened, "is it true?"
"Who, who told you that?" She stuttered now pulling him closer to her.
"It's all around the school, Rachel. Please tell me you said no." His eyes softened and he pleaded with her.
"I would like you to know that whether or not I said yes or no is none of your business. Or anyone else's for that matter. What goes on between Finn and I will stay between Finn and I." Her voice hardened. "I expected you, as a friend, would understand that more than anyone."
The taller boy let out a breath of air as he brought his fingers to rub along his temples. His head was already starting to pound and this didn't look as though it was getting any easier. He loved his brother, he did, but he also knew what'd happened between his father, Finn and Finn's mother and he understood why Finn asked her. He just wasn't sure she understood.
"I am your friend, Rachel. I've always been your friend. I'm simply looking out for you because you, as well as I, have dreams; big dreams. City night, the hustle and bustle of the New York streets, Broadway. And I know that... well, I just don't want you making any rash decisions. Remember Nationals?" He asked. He knew bringing it up would be either a hit or miss, but he needed to try. Anything to make Rachel see what she could possibly be giving up for his goofy step-brother.
"Yes, of course, I remember New York. How could I possibly forget? The feel of being up on that stage, singing with you...It was a dream come true."
"Exactly," he breathed out, allowing his hands to grip her shoulders lightly, "A dream come true, Rachel. And we talked about it... Love or Dreams, remember?" She only nodded in response, her eyes casting to the floor for one moment. "Do you know why he asked you to marry him?"
"Of course, I do. It's because he loves me and he doesn't want to live without me." She answered with finality.
"Well, that may be a part of it, but it isn't the entire truth, Rachel. Did he...did he tell you about his talk with our parents?"
"N-no," she stuttered, "but I don't see what that has to do with anything. Clearly, your parents are all for us being together."
"Rachel," he sighed once again because he was slowly losing his patience. He'd wanted to be nice and nurturing, but she was giving him no choice and he was about to say to hell with it and give her a dose of tough love, "just... ask him. Okay? Before you answer him, ask him why."
Kurt watched as people began to enter the room and he made his way up the risers and next to his boyfriend, who kindly offered him a smile and an arm to lean into. Rachel, on the other hand, watched as her boyfriend entered the room with the biggest smile on his face. She kindly offered him one in return as the words played in the back of her mind, 'Before you answer him, ask him why.'
As Glee continued on, everyone congratulated Mr. Schue on Emma accepting his proposal before they all jumped into talk about Nationals. Quinn sat behind everyone and in her own corner, seemingly in her own world. She hadn't noticed at all, but two sets of eyes were watching her very closely. One set belonging to their teacher, Mr. Schue, and the other set belonging to her ex-best friend, Santana Lopez.
"Q," Santana greeted as she leaned on the locker next to the blonde's.
"What is it, Santana?" Quinn answered, her voice lacking actual interest.
"You head about Berry? Seem she and Finnept are gonna tie the knot soon." The Latina offered with a small frown on her face. She and Rachel may not be enemies anymore, but the thought of anyone marrying Finn just left a bad taste in her mouth.
"I don't know what you're talking about, S." Quinn shut her locker and readjusted her shoulder bag. Was Santana telling the truth? Or was this just another one of her ploys to... wait, why would she even want Quinn to know this?
"Duh, I just told you. God, did all the cigarette smoke from those Skanks kill your braincells? Captain Blubber proposed to the midget today. Apparently, love is in the air." She shuddered at the thought again before continuing. "It's all around school."
Quinn, immediately feeling the fire shooting through her veins, kept her face neutral and breathed through her nose. She had known that Finn was probably going to try to do something, anything to stay with Rachel and she had come to the conclusion that she'd never even have a chance of being with the girl. She'd made herself believe that they'd leave Lima, and in a few years, when Quinn was done dealing with everything, Rachel and Finn would get married. But now? Today? When they hadn't even graduated yet? Her pulse quickened beneath her skin and she forced herself to focus on the girl standing in front of her.
"I hadn't heard." She spoke, her voice breathy and laced with every emotion running through her in that moment. Her first thought was that she needed to get out. She needed to get to her car because if she could make it there, she could control the sort of out of body experience she was having at the moment. She could allow her eyes to close, she could latch on to her car for balance and she could breathe.
"Huh." Santana answered with a shrug of her shoulders. "I thought you knew."
And she was gone.
Quinn, without even looking back, failed to notice the smirk on the Latina's face as she walked away. Her vision was so focused on the path she needed to take to make it out as she rushed past herds of students, she didn't even realize that she'd been set up.
After the blonde had entered her front door, she'd flung her bag to the floor, shredded her jacket and paced. She paced from the foyer to the living area, through to the kitchen and back. And she did it over and over again. Her mind ran wild with so many thoughts, her heart constricted because of emotion. She mumbled aloud to herself, running through every possible scenario and the one thing she'd come up with was that she needed to talk to Rachel tonight.
She needed to talk to her, to maybe talk some sense into her. Rachel was a bright girl, that was a fact, but when it came to love the girl could easily allow her feelings to cloud her judgement and Quinn didn't want to see Rachel give up something she'd worked her entire life for, for a boy. A simple boy. A boy who... could barely read the newspaper correctly, a boy who didn't realize when true love was right in front of him, a boy who could hardly pick out his own underwear without getting frustrated. She knew. She knew this boy and she knew him well because, at one time or another, she thought she loved this boy. She saw herself staying in Lima, marrying him and starting a family. But she had been wrong and she thanked the stars that she had been because she would have been miserable. Quinn needed adventure to live; she needed the rush of deadlines and the pleasure of imagination.
Rachel needed Broadway.
After calming herself down, she decided to grab a snack and start on her homework. Six thirty would be there in a couple hours and she'd text Rachel then. She'd text her, meet up with her, and she'd talk to her. As a friend.
Because above all else, though she'd harbored feelings for the brunette, she knew that what Rachel needed right now was a friend.
'Busy?'
'Well, hello to you too, Quinn. :)'
'Hello, Rachel. Are you busy?'
'Just finishing my set list for Nationals.'
'Rach, we haven't even agreed to anything yet.'
'True, but I find it best to be prepared for every situation. As you know, my impromptu performance of Don't Rain On My Parade was a part of the reason we won our Sophomore year. I simply find it best to have a back up plan ready for all occasions.'
'Okay. lol. Well, I was wondering what you're doing around 6:30?'
'Why do you ask, Quinn?'
'I want to see you.'
A few moments passed before Quinn felt her phone vibrate.
'May I ask what this is about?'
'You can, but I won't tell you. Just meet me in the park then.'
'Quinn, although I appreciate the fact that you'd like to meet with me, I'm confused as to why and it's causing me a bit of a head rush.'
'I'm not going to hurt you, Rach. Just meet me, okay? I promise you, I just want to talk.'
Time seemed to tick by slowly as Quinn waited for a response with bated breath. Five minutes and twenty seconds exactly before her phone buzzed again.
'Okay. I'll meet you.'
Quinn sat on the swing, kicking her feet in the dirt and occasionally glancing at her watch. It was now a quarter to seven and the sun was slowly starting to descend. She'd hoped that Rachel had trusted her enough to come alone because this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have in front of an audience.
The blonde had talked herself out of revealing her true feelings and opted to go with the friendship talk. If anything, she knew that a proposal was kind of a big deal and if there was anything Rachel needed right now it was a friend. A friend to talk to, to listen, to bounce her ideas off of and to ultimately listen as she talked herself into a conclusion.
Quinn would be that person.
Because no matter what, no matter how much she wanted the brunette, her happiness was all that mattered.
As she waited, she began humming to herself, getting lost in her song and she failed to hear the brunette walk up beside her.
"That's a beautiful song, Quinn." Rachel spoke as she to the girl and was met with a soft smile.
"I didn't think you'd show." Quinn answered honestly before motioning for Rachel to join her on the swings. But Rachel didn't move. She simply stood there, arms crossed over her chest, eyes boring into the blonde.
Clearing her throat, Quinn spoke, "I...thank you, for coming."
"I said I would be here, Quinn." Rachel answered, her voice soft and void of any sort of anger. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Finn." The blonde stated as she broke eye contact and looked through the trees at...well, nothiing.
"And what about him? Because if this is about you wanting him back, I'm sorry, but he's..."
The brunette was cut off by a hand waving before her. "I don't want him back, Rach. That's hardly what this is about."
"Oh. Then what is this about exactly?" Rachel allowed her stance to soften as she watched hazel eyes gazing into the trees. "Quinn?"
"Are you going to marry him?" The blonde asked keeping her eyes locked on the falling leaves.
"I-I don't know what..." Rachel stuttered before stopping all together. It was obvious that everyone knew about the proposal and to lie about it would be well, just that, a lie. "I haven't actually decided yet."
Hazel eyes locked onto brown orbs and for a moment, Quinn contemplated bearing her soul, but she immediately pushed the thought away. "Need a friend?"
At those words, Rachel smiled and took a seat in the swing next to the blonde. They'd been working on their growing friendship as of late and if she were to be honest, she needed a friend now more than ever. Though reluctant, she'd taken one look into those hazel eyes and all of her doubt had melted away instantly.
"Talk to me, Rach. I promise you I won't hurt you. I just.." Quinn let her sentence linger as she grazed her teeth along her bottom lip, "it's a big deal, you know?"
Rachel sighed. "Trust me, I know." She lightly kicked her feet back and forth, bringing her swing to a steady yet slow pace. "I don't know what to do, Quinn. I love him, I do. I think that a part of me always has and always will, but..."
"What about you, Rachel? What do you want?" The blonde turned her head just in time to see Rachel gazing out toward the same spot she'd been looking just moments before.
"I want..." Rachel contemplated her answer. She'd contemplated her answer over and over again after Finn had gotten down on one knee and asked her to marry him. She'd contemplated it when Kurt had cornered her in the choir room before Glee. She did the same on the way home and the entire time she was supposed to be doing her homework. "I want New York. I want the stage. I want the fans and the adoration. I want to sing, Quinn. But I also want to share it with someone and that someone is Finn."
"So then why can't you have both?" Quinn prodded. Her heart stung at the mention of Finn but she couldn't exactly do much about it. It was well-known that Rachel and Finn had the high school sweetheart thing going on and although it wasn't a surprise to hear it, it still hurt.
Rachel sighed again and brought her eyes to the blonde. "Because Finn doesn't want New York. But he wants me. And I...I want him, too."
"Rach," Quinn twisted the chains so that she was now facing the brunette who slowly followed suit, "do you remember when we had that fight? Right before Sectionals and I told you that you couldn't blame me for helping you on your way out of Lima?"
Rachel only nodded. This was the second time today that she'd been reminded of her dreams.
"Do you know why I said that?" Quinn waited but when no answer came, she continued. "I said that because I knew that you were bigger than all of us, Rach. You're so much better and you're so talented. I still believe that you don't belong here. You belong within the hustle and bustle of New York City. You belong on a stage with a spotlight solely on you. You're so great and I...I just need you to think about this, okay? Just remember what you've worked your entire life to get and don't let anyone deter you from that dream. Not me. Not Finn. Not Santana. No one. You were born to be great."
A shy smile graced tan cheeks and Quinn had to smile at herself because even if she couldn't tell Rachel exactly how she felt, she could at least tell her bits and pieces of it. And it felt good. To know that she could make Rachel smile like that sated her, if only for the moment.
"Thank you, Quinn. Really. You're a great friend."
"Of course, Rach. I love you and I only want what's best for you. I just wanted you to know that you have a friend whenever you need to talk." Quinn smiled.
Rachel listened carefully until those three words slipped from the blonde's lips and suddenly, there was a loud buzzing in her ears. Was she hearing things? Did Quinn just say...
"Quinn?"
"Hmm?" The blonde answered, kicking her feet.
"Did you mean it? What you just said, did you mean that?" Rachel asked, her eyes narrowing as she watched the blonde look to the ground.
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't." Quinn chuckled cluelessly. "If you need a friend, I'm always here."
"No, no," Rachel shook her head. Was she hearing things? "Not that part, the other...part."
"The other...?" Quinn quickly tried to refresh her memory, to replay the conversation over in her head. What had she said? She said she'd only wanted what was best for her and that she had a friend if she...
Shit.
"Um," Quinn cleared her throat, rubbing a nervous hand across the back of her neck.
"Did, did you..."
"I..."
"Quinn." Rachel huffed. "You know what I'm talking about. Did you mean it?"
Quinn sighed. Well, she could lie to the brunette, tell her that it just slipped out in the moment. But when she looked into those eyes, that option flew right out the window. She could tell her that she'd only meant it as a friend, but then that would be a lie, too.
"Yes." She chanced a glance at the brunette before speaking again. "But that's not the point, Rach. I just want you happy. So..."
Rachel nodded. She didn't really have an answer or a response. She didn't even really know if she was breathing at the moment. It could have been meant in a million different ways. Right? Quinn couldn't have possibly meant that she loved her... like really loved her. No, no. She was Rachel Berry and that was Quinn Fabray and that would never happen...
...right?
Rachel stood rather abruptly, jarring Quinn from her own suffocating thought. "I should...I should probably get going. I have homework and a set list to prepare."
"Yeah," Quinn agreed as she rose to her feet. Her hands immediately found the inside of her jean pockets as she looked on, awkwardly, at the girl standing before her. "I'll, um, I'll see you in school?"
"Yes. Of course." Rachel answered. Her body, moving on its own accord, lurched forward rather awkwardly and she found her arms thrown around the blonde's neck before she could stop herself.
Quinn, catching her balance, stood frozen for a moment before releasing her hands from her jean pockets and slowly placing her hands around Rachel Berry's waist. The two stood, probably longer than they should have, lightly pressed against one another and it felt...
"Thank you," Rachel whispered, her breath lightly tickling the skin on Quinn's neck, "for everything, Quinn."
The blonde could only nod because the feeling rushing through her at the moment was a bit too much for her to handle. She'd thought about this moment, holding the brunette against her, but in her imagination, it never felt this … good.
Before she knew it, Rachel was pulling away, offering her a smile and turning to walk away. She watched as the brunette made her way to the parking lot, hopped in her car and drove away. Sighing to herself, Quinn finally forced herself to move from that spot, making her way to her own car. It was going to be a long ride home.
Rachel entered her room, throwing herself on top of her bed as she sighed. Kicking off her shoes, she stripped herself almost bare and climbed under the covers. Bringing the covers over her head, she felt a smile creep across her features as she allowed her body to just... feel.
She had a lot to think about before the night was done.
And that didn't just pertain the proposal from Finn Hudson.
