Chocolate is the Food of Love

A Valentine's Day fanfic by

Aoi Umi

A/N: I guess I have some kind of obsession with writing holiday fics. Probably because they provide both ideas and deadlines. nn;; Happy Valentine's Day, minna!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and yadda yadda yadda.

Warning: Yaoi. Contains (implicit) sexual acts. Not sure about the citrus classification (does it qualify as lemon?), but it's there. You've been warned. I don't want to rate this R, because of the lighthearted nature of the rest of the fic, but I will change it if I receive complaints about the current rating.

"Eeeyaaaahh! Help me, Yuki!"

Yuki Eiri sighed and pushed his chair away from the desk. He rose and walked toward the door. But he simply grasped the handle and swung it shut contemptuously. He lit a cigarette and sat back down.

"Yukiiiii! Really, I don't think sugar is supposed to burn like that! Ow, owowow!"

Eiri shoved some papers aside and located a pair of earplugs he had recently bought. He inserted them and sat back with a satisfied smile. This was certainly the best purchase he had made in years. Now all he needed was a nose plug, but he supposed he couldn't have everything (without expending the effort to make a trip to the store, that was). He continued typing.

"YuuuukkiiiIIIIIIII!"

Eiri cringed. No pair of earplugs would possibly be able to filter "panicked-Shuichi" sound waves. And he was no physicist, but he knew enough to recognize the Doppler shift when he heard it, and also to understand what it indicated. Shuichi should be about...

"Yuki! I'm two feet behind you!" Shuichi removed the earplugs roughly. "You can't ignore me now!"

Eiri stared ahead at the screen and squinted glaringly. "Watch me."

"But, Yuki...! I think it's something you should worry about, really...I mean, I don't know what burning sugar does to kitchen floors – in the long run, I mean – um, right now it's kind of melty or corrosive or something..." Shuichi twiddled his fingers nervously.

Eiri's eye twitched slightly. He stood up abruptly and the chair ran into Shuichi, who fell down and landed on his bottom.

By now, the kitchen was clouded with a very unpleasant smoke. Eiri guessed that the only reason he hadn't heard the smoke alarm go off yet was that he'd forgotten to change the batteries. He grabbed a fire extinguisher from the closet and smothered the stovetop. Angrily, he threw it aside and strode into the other room.

He flopped onto the couch, hand to his aching forehead. Soon, he'd have to clean that up. No, Shuichi would, but it would end up being the same thing, since Shuichi's idea of "thorough" was "kind of wiped up and forgotten about."

"Yuki..." Shuichi crept very sheepishly into the room.

"Get out."

"I'm sorry..." He stepped tentatively across the carpet, but stopped upon receiving a warning glare. He looked down. "Really, Yuki, I didn't mean to mess up your kitchen so much. It's just that, I wanted to make you some chocolates and..."

"Chocolates? I wouldn't have even been able to tell that's what you were trying to make. Next time you insist on using my kitchen, make something more suited to your skill level...like Jell-O."

Shuichi clenched his fists. "But Yuki," he whined, "it has to be chocolates! Today's Valentine's Day, and it's tradition to give chocolate to the one you love!"

"...For girls." He looked Shuichi over from head to foot. "Last time I checked, you were definitely not a girl...even despite those creepy high-pitched noises..."

Shuichi blushed heavily. "Still," he protested. "I-I-I kind of think of myself as your girlfriend. You still deserve chocolates, in any case, because I love you as much as any girl would."

"Hm. If you wanted to give me chocolates, you could have bought them."

"But it's not as special!"

"As special as that?" Eiri indicated the smoldering kitchen.

"I'm sorry..."

"If I had known you were going to do that, I would have paid you not to give me chocolates."

"Yuki! I don't want your money!" he burst. "I just...I just..." He leapt uncontrollably onto Yuki and latched himself tightly to his chest. "I just want you to love me!"

"Just leave me alone." He pried Shuichi off, got up, and got his coat from the closet. "I'm going out."

A tear dripped from Shuichi's nose as he stared after his clearly angry boyfriend. He sniffled. "Okay," he decided energetically a moment later. "I'm going to make it up to him! When Yuki comes back, I'll have a mountain of chocolate waiting, and he'll be so surprised that he'll have to forgive me!"

-

"You have to help me, Hiroooo," Shuichi whined into the phone receiver. "Do you know how to make chocolate?"

"Um...chocolate? Sorry, Shu, I'm not much of an expert at making anything. Especially something like chocolate. Why do you-...Oh, let me guess. You want to give chocolate to Yuki-san for Valentine's Day; am I right?"

Shuichi nodded. Then he quickly remembered that Hiro couldn't see over the phone. "Nnn."

"Well, if you want homemade chocolate so badly, maybe I could smuggle you some of the chocolate that Ayaka-chan gave me. It's so good, though...I hate to give it away."

Shuichi smiled. "Thanks, but no thanks, Hiro. I have to make it."

Hiro shrugged. "All right, well, what can I say? You're a man...(er, sort of) of principle, Shuichi. Dunno what I can tell you, except, good luck. Do your best and...well, I want to tell you that Yuki will love whatever you come up with, but, uh..."

"Yeah," Shuichi cut in. "I know." He sighed. "Well, thanks, Hiro."

"Yep. Anytime, Shu."

"Have a nice Valentine's Day...with Ayaka...bye."

"Bye."

Shuichi hung up the receiver and sighed. He couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of Hiro and Ayaka. Why couldn't Yuki just be nice to him like a normal boyfriend? He couldn't even fake it, a little bit, and humor him on Valentine's Day...?

Shuichi concentrated his thoughts back on his plan. After some not-so-deep thinking, he came to the conclusion that most boys (at least the ones he knew) were just inherently unable to bake sweets. He would have to seek some feminine advice...

"Uh...hi. This is Shuichi. Is...is Maiko there?"

"Onii-chan!"

"Oh. Yeah. Hi, Maiko."

"Oh my gosh, you never call, Onii-chan! Mom and Dad have been wondering about you. You didn't give us your number or anything...but now...I guess I can look at the caller-I.D. and write it down..."

Shuichi felt a drop of sweat on his forehead. Yuki was going to love this. I knew I should have called her from my cell phone, he thought.

"Ahem! So, anyway, 'nii-chan, how are you? Are you still doing it with Eiri Yuki-sensei?" she asked dreamily.

"Um...yes. It's actually kind of about him that I called."

"Oh? You need relationship advice? And you're asking your little sister? That is sooo cute, Onii-chan!"

"Um..."

"...So what's the problem? A fight? Betrayal? What?"

"Actually...I just need help making chocolates for Valentine's Day," he admitted.

"Oh..." she replied. "Is that all?"

"Yeah. Sorry to disappoint." He rolled his eyes.

"Well, not to worry, Onii-chan! You've come to the right person! I'll have you know that, last year, all the guys begged to go out with me just so they could have some of my wonderful, delectable homemade chocolate!"

"Uh-huh...? Great! Okay, so...where do I start?"

"What? Aren't you coming over?"

"No, I don't know how long Yuki is going to be gone. I want to be here when he gets back."

"You can't expect me to impart my cooking genius upon you through the phone!" she cried. "Really, Onii-chan! You are such a male, after all."

"Well, yeah! Excuse me!"

Maiko sighed. "Sorry, Onii-chan. But you are making him chocolates. Valentine's Day is supposed to be a day for girls to give chocolates."

"So..." Shuichi replied flatly. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"...Okay. Yeah, I'll try."

Shuichi walked into the kitchen and gaped. He'd completely forgotten about the mess from earlier. Working around it would be impossible.

"Umm...Maiko? Can I call you back in a few minutes?"

"What? Onii—"

Click.

Shuichi rushed to the bathroom and searched the linen closet desperately for old towels. Unfortunately, Eiri kept the towel supply new and, Shuichi would even venture to say, "designer." Shuichi cringed at the thought of what might happen if he ruined the towels, but decided it was his only option in this emergency. He grabbed a few and ran back to the kitchen.

After mopping up some of the mess (really, only the parts obstructing his use of the range), he tossed the towels aside and sprayed disinfectant on the stove top. He breathed. Okay. This would have to do.

He seized the phone and dialed home again.

"What was that all about, Onii-chan!" Maiko huffed.

"Eh..." Shuichi sweated. "Nothing. I just thought I saw...um, the cat getting into the yeast..."

"Cat? You have a cat? Awwww!"

"Heh...yeah." I'd better get a cat before she comes to visit. I wonder how Yuki will like that. I think he likes cats well enough...but I don't know about Maiko...

"...Wait a minute. Yeast? You don't need yeast for making chocolate..."

Shuichi laughed nervously. "Yeah, well, you know, I was making bento earlier..."

"..."

"...What?"

"You are so dumb, Onii-chan. But it's okay; I still love you," she giggled.

"Okay, so...where do I begin?" he asked.

"Well, first make sure you have enough sugar..."

"How much is 'enough'?"

"Oh, it depends on how much chocolate you want to make. I'd say to at least have a bag handy so you don't run out."

"Okay, I think I still have...let me see..." Shuichi searched through the disheveled pile of cooking ingredients and supplies that he'd gotten out earlier (on the other side of the kitchen, safe from the fire extinguisher). However, there was no sugar to be found. Earlier, he had foolishly used all the sugar he'd had in a misguided belief that "more sugar" equals "better."

"Uh, Maiko..." he began. "Actually, I think I'm out of sugar."

"What? No sugar? Well, go out and get some, dummy! You can't make sweets without sugar!"

Shuichi sighed. This was getting way too difficult already. And after the morning had gone so badly with Yuki, the last thing he needed now was to be verbally abused by his own younger sister. "You know what, Maiko? Why don't you forget it. I'll figure out something else, anyway."

"What? We haven't even gotten started yet! How hard can it be to buy sugar?"

"Just trust me. There wouldn't be time before Yuki gets back, anyway."

"Well, whatever. If you're sure."

"Yeah. Thanks. Bye, Maiko. Tell Mom and Dad that I'm fine, I guess."

"Not until you get me that Eiri Yuki autograph, remember?"

Shuichi hung up. Now it was his turn to flop onto the couch, exhausted. What am I going to do? he thought. Maybe I should forget about this Valentine's Day thing, anyway. To Yuki, it's just another day. And he doesn't want chocolate or my love or anything. He's not back yet, so I guess he just wants to be alone. He looked out the window sadly. I'll just let him have that.

"No!" He stood up and shouted to nobody in particular. "I can't give up! Yuki's going to have his chocolate whether he wants it or not! Bwahahaha!" He bounced back into the kitchen to try and figure out something.

He threw open the pantry door and completely ravaged the shelves, but found nothing useful. There was one old, solitary bar of chocolate, but it alone would not be enough to melt and pour into a mold.

Next, he moved to the refrigerator. He hadn't been searching for more than a minute when, from its depths, he heard the front door click open. His chest sunk. "Oh, no! Yuki's home already!"

"Yes, Yuki's home already," came a sarcastic voice from across the room.

Shuichi blushed. Apparently, he'd gotten too comfortable with talking to himself in Yuki's absence.

"May I ask why you've returned to the crime scene and created three times the amount of chaos that was here when I left?"

"Um, well..." Shuichi withdrew his head slowly from the refrigerator, and turned around to face Eiri. "I tried to clean it up. And I will clean this up, too. Really!"

"Well, see that you do." Eiri turned and started to leave the room.

"Yuki..." Shuichi reached out and grasped the end of his coat. "Wait!"

"What?"

Shuichi blinked. Then, completely spastically, he reached into the refrigerator, withdrew a bottle of liquid Hershey's ice cream syrup, thrust it above his head, squinted his eyes tightly, and squeezed the bottle very hard.

The result was a very sticky, shiny, dripping-wet Shuichi, who blinked in apparent half-surprise.

Eiri backed away.

"Yuki..." Shuichi looked at him with big eyes (about the only part of him not completely covered by chocolate). "...where are you going?"

"Are you kidding? Don't touch me. I don't want that getting on my clothes!"

"Then..." Shuichi grinned. His mind was wandering ahead a couple of steps...in fact, it was skipping through them quite giddily. "...take them off," he concluded bluntly.

Eiri stared. "You're kidding..."

Shuichi shook his head fervently. A few droplets of chocolate went flying, and one landed on Eiri's face.

Eiri licked it delicately and removed his coat. "You really are a naughty boy, aren't you?"

Shuichi's heart thumped excitedly. He waited patiently for Eiri to remove the rest of his clothing. He couldn't decide whether it was the shirt or the pants that drove him crazier. Yuki was even sexy when he removed his socks.

Shuichi suddenly realized that instead of standing there like a gaping moron, he should be doing likewise. He struggled to pull off his t-shirt, but it was so heavy with chocolate that it got stuck halfway off his head.

Suddenly he felt a pair of strong hands helping him along. He emerged from the inside of the shirt to be met with his favorite pair of beautiful, hungry eyes.

Eiri started things off with a lusty lick on the side of Shuichi's face. Shuichi shivered. Eiri worked his way behind Shuichi, his back to the cold, still-open refrigerator and his arms tight around Shuichi's warm, sugary body. He reached around Shuichi's hips and helped him off with his pants, as well.

Eiri stepped back a little and looked Shuichi over. The chocolate hadn't been successful enough in penetrating Shuichi's clothing. He placed the chocolate bottle in Shuichi's hands.

Shuichi nodded, and finished the job.

"That's better," Eiri murmured. He worked his fingers in the chocolate on Shuichi's abdomen. For a moment, Shuichi forgot to take a breath.

Eiri worked lower and Shuichi tried to stop himself from emitting that schoolgirl gasp, but of course he was unsuccessful. His knees went weak and soon he found himself on the floor, feeling for all the world as vulnerable as a chocolate rabbit. He didn't mind, though. In fact, he relished the ticklish feeling of Yuki's tongue upon his smooth, syrup-coated skin.

"Y-yuki...nnnnn...what are you d-doing? Nngh..."

"What does it feel like I'm doing?"

"Ohh...Yuki, are you really gonna..." Shuichi giggled dizzily.

"Shh."

Shuichi tried to be quiet. He really did. But it was truly quite difficult to restrain himself at the sight and feel of the extent to which Eiri was taking this chocolate cat-bath. "Nngnnn..." he gritted his teeth.

"Does that feel good?"

Shuichi nodded.

"Good. Happy Valentine's Day, Shuichi. Consider this my return gift, so don't expect anything in a month."

Shuichi lay back, his head floating in a wonderful cloudy haze.

-

In the shower, Shuichi reached for his shampoo bottle for about the fifth time. Man, that's the last time I ever do something that stupid, he thought. But then, reflecting on the past hour, he concluded that it had been worth it.

But...I really did want Yuki to say something romantic, I guess. -Argh, why can't I be satisfied? What Yuki did was wonderful, but I still...I...

Deciding that shampoo #7 would have to settle for his lucky number, Shuichi shut off the water and stepped out of the shower.

In the bedroom, Eiri lay half-asleep on the bed. He had already finished cleaning himself up awhile ago. Shuichi smiled and padded silently out of the room. He walked into the main part of the house, turning off the lights. He spotted Eiri's coat, which had earlier been thrown aside. He bent down to pick it up.

As he lifted the coat, a small package fell from one of the pockets. Shuichi retrieved it and saw that it was...a chocolate heart?

Shuichi's first inclination was to jealously assume that it had been given to Eiri by some sort of girl while he had been out. But then he saw the card: "Store-bought chocolate tastes best, anyway. Try it for yourself, brat, and take a hint."

Tears welled in Shuichi's hyperbolically illuminated face. He tore open the package and chomped the candy greedily. If Yuki was right, Shuichi wouldn't have known, because he swallowed virtually before the chocolate had time to settle on his taste buds. He was just so overjoyed that he ran back into the bedroom and tackled his lover.

"Ow! What was that crap for?" Eiri growled.

"You don't have to wait for White Day, Yuki-chan! I won't be shy! Of course I love you and I want to go out with you and marry you, too!"

"What?"

"I found the chocolate you got for me," Shuichi giggled sweetly.

"Oh."

"Why didn't you give it to me?"

Eiri shrugged. "I dunno. Forgot, I guess."

"Forgot? How could you forget something so hugely, infinitely, monstrously (gasp) important, Yuki?"

"If you recall, I was kind of busy."

"Oh." Shuichi did recall, vividly. "Yeah. So...does this mean that you are my girlfriend now?" he laughed.

"Er..." Eiri paled.

"...Because you said that only girls give chocolate on Valentine's Day."

"Oh. That. Well, I guess I was just thinking of Valentine's Day in America. Everyone gives candy in America."

"Ohhh, that's really nice!"

"Yeah. Whatever." Eiri yawned, rolled over, and tried to sleep.

Shuichi kissed him and got under the covers as well. "Goodnight, Yuki. I love you."

But by now Eiri was already asleep, or at least he appeared to be.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Yuki."

The End.

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