A/N:Ppl, just so you know, this chapter has been rewritten by my wonderful beta Jus-Chan, big hug for her!

The Beginning

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…

A cold sweat consumed my body in instant.. There was nothing, nothing at all except darkness, pure, cold, merciless darkness which surrounded me.
My heart was long ripped out of my body, my soul was long lost in waves of agony which never seemed to let go of me. I had many thoughts running through my mind, each and every one of them were cruel, brutal..
No one really understood me, and the way I was feeling.
People said that it was the last stages of depression, yet some claimed that it was from broken a heart, tired, torn little heart..
Fools. How can my heart be broken, when there never was one.. Instead of it, existed huge black hole which helped me see a lot of things. Made me open my eyes so I could see more clearly.
Family, friends, foes.. they don't exist, and they never will..
I had a lot of friends in my life, until I realized of what purpose they were for.
The same thing which I was to them..

Usefulness..

Using.. For connections, for personal enjoyment, for any kind I needed..
I ruled their poor world, never once showing any kind of compassion, never showing pity towards them..
I decided when, how and where everything should be, I knew exactly which buttons to press so I could move them towards my wishes. Like a puppet master I pulled their strings so they would all obey my whims. They were my little marionettes..
Well that was until they got smarter, and realized that they were being used and started to leave, one by one. Leaving me in my small uncaring world.
I was glad in a way; why should I need them anyway? I had bigger problems to worry about instead of them.
Family? No. They left when they saw what I became..
I only had a mother as Family, my father must have been a smart man for leaving her at my birth.
Sometimes I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye; No, I don't, on second thought I hope he just ran.
Maybe he's already dead, but I doubt it, death comes last for the ones who brought pain towards the others..
Anyways, she took care of me, but obviously the wrong way..
You see, I was a monster to them, my family .. They didn't present trouble for me, instead, I was a problem for them..
I let them go.. They didn't mean much to me anyway.
My real problem was my hatred. Believe it or not, I made it grow, I made it strong, so that no one could accept me, so that no one love me or even care for a person like me..
Why? Because I only brought pain, death..
My love left me, all because of a goal which I didn't understand.
I sent my best friend for him, only to get him back in coffin, dead...
I was thrown away, left, forgotten by everyone, to die like a street rat. He left me, not even once caring about my feelings, he threw years and years of suffering and dedication away for his every whim, until he broke me down into pieces.
All the time, all the devotion went into oblivion when he left, I didn't knew how I let this happen to me... Didn't he know that he was the reason for my thinking?
But I still continued on making a fool out of myself with only one hope..
That he will understand one day that he was wrong, that he will feel guilty for breaking me.
And when he left me.. I still had a hope; but I only changed it a in the end..
Instead of that I hoped for another thing. That everything, every single tear I let pass my eye lids because of him, every single rejection, everything comes back at him trice as hard.
I had been blind, dazzled, enchanted with his look, so I failed to notice that I've been falling lower and lower, until I reached the bottom..
So I still moved on..
Later on, my happiness ended, only to be replaced by this what I am now..
Pain, sorrow, despair, I was full of it; Anyone who dared to approach me was condemned to eternal suffering and misery.
That was happening on and on, until I met him.
It was a sheer luck, the day we met. His cold eyes pierced mine naive ones, telling me only one thing..

"Don't"

But I didn't listen to them. I was condemned long ago to this agony, so how can it get worse then that..
His stoic figure tried to make me back off, to run as fast as I could, just to be away of him, but I couldn't.
Something attracted me to him, pulled me to be his shadow, to follow him through fire and water, and yet what was it?
He wasn't something special..
White hair , with exquisite blue ends, ended somewhere at his shoulders. Cat like eyes were hard, with cute touch of playfulness in them.. And purple ones they were.. a strange color, but still interesting..
He had nice face shape; but what intrigued me the most was his mouth..
What was amusing was his look. He smiled in an affected, smug, or I would rather prefer offensively familiar way.
Smirked with style with cute canine tooth that was always evident..
Just fucking strangely amusing...
Most would be scared by that, and most were.. I could hear the voices speaking about his cruel deeds, of his uncaring acts.. but I didn't listen.
Nothing could scare me, at least not then.
He was always coming at random. Sometimes he wouldn't appear for weeks, but sometimes he came almost every day.. He was always in the same company; a female, who I thought that was a man, tall creepy looking gay, and him.
Yes, I spied on him sometimes, waiting for my curse to do it's deed, but when I realized that it didn't, it didn't make any sense, and i moved to another person..
To my mysterious purple eyed stranger.
I felt some strange urge to see him, even if it was for a couple of seconds.
He wielded a rather large sword, which looked funny on him, he seemed so small, delicate that it was comical.
Once I laughed abruptly as he clumsily tried to put it aside. He looked at me with his eyes, prepared to kill anyone who dared to laugh at him..
But something made him change his mind as he saw me smiling at him; it must have been because of my blank expression, even if I'm smiling I still remained void of any feelings at all.
He snorted at me, and proceeded on his way leaving me stunned.
I don't know what feeling possessed me, but I was glad that he spotted me. That he's aware of my existence..
Stupid I know.
Later on, I found out his name when I heard the female snap at him..
" Would you fucking stop calling me a bitch, Suigetsu!"..
I smiled then.
Suigetsu... ' Suigetsu' I let it pass my lips to hearing it better.. It sounded good coming out of my mouth.. It was a rather unusual name, but that only made him more attractive to me..
So I watched him carefully, memorizing his every move, every curve of his body, every word he spoke, so that one day I would know how to speak to him.
Then one day, my ex spotted me spying. Such a troublesome thing it was, not to mention the fact he thought I was spying on him. I ran away that time, but it still irked me, the mere fact that he thought I still care for him was just fucking absurd to me. Not to mention that he could jeopardize all my plans and cause me to waste time with him instead of gathering the information I needed.
I decided to take things into my own hands.
As the time went by, I felt bolder and decided to approach him.
"I'm sorry sir, but you seem rather stressed. May I take the liberty to help your stress retreat?"
His eyes were yet again on me, but this time they were everywhere across my body; strange heat possessed me as his look seemed to strip me down..
I received a mere nod from him, and it was enough for me to move in to action.
We were settled in a small room on the last floor of the village motel; he laid on his front as I massaged him. I was obsessed by the way his muscles rippled with each of my touches, he must have really liked it..
My hands roamed all over his sculptured body as he let out little sounds of enjoyment.. Moans and groans filled the room, the air was full of anxiety and nice aroma of my body creams.. I could feel his body tense and sweating badly; but that wasn't worrying for him, he always carried small bottle with him from which he drinks enough water to regain his strength..

Impressive...

But it wasn't enough for me, I wanted to feel more of my mystery man..
My hand went to his fluffy, white rich hair, while my other one massaged his neck lovingly..
Like a lover would do.
I massaged his scalp slowly, loving the way he responded to it. He growled deep, sexily when I pulled particularly hard his hair..
My stomach was filled with a thousand butterflies which made me little nervous, but it was without any reason.. this was something I dreamed of.
My hand which was on his neck moved slowly up and down his back teasingly, as I still tugged his hair passionately..
He began fidgeting after a couple of seconds, like something wasn't letting him rest peacefully..
Then I saw him, he looked at me with one eye across his bare shoulder and I froze, my hands stopped any movement when I saw the way he was gazing at me..
Lustfully, possessive..
"Why are you stopping when you've got to the best part, eh?" his eye narrowed slowly as he watched me. Frankly I didn't know what to do then. His husky, particularly strange voice turned me into puddle of water, my impassive white cheeks turned to a cute shade of pink..
He smirked at me showing his canine tooth I loved so much; He loves me when I blush, it brings the innocence out of me, as he says..
I resumed my work, as he still watched me, I pretended that I didn't see but I could feel his eyes roaming all over me, eating my body with his hungry gaze..
The most interesting thing was the fact that my panties were so damp that my juices had even soaked through them and went all the way down my legs, it was hard to move because of the ache I had between my legs, and the shame I felt because of it..
I decided to move to his legs, that way I could move away from his gaze, and also provides me to let him feel what I felt..
Boldly I moved the towel which barely covered his ass and upper thighs to cover only his butt.
He didn't object, instead he merely repositioned himself into much better position, which again left me with a great view of his legs..
I started from his ankles, going slowly up, teasing him all the way; he groaned a couple of times when I got closer to his sensitive parts, but I refrained from going to close to those parts, I didn't know what his reaction would be.. I AM dealing with an S class criminal, after all..
Slowly I got tired of his ankles and lower parts, so I proceeded to the parts I avoided earlier.
Moving higher and higher with slow, gentle strokes, I got very near his towel; and then he spoke for the first time in ten minutes..
"There baby, you've got it" his husky voice made my fire rise again, and caused my strokes to become harder, more demanding on his skin..
Making him feel good..
It sounded like a sentence spoken during some naughty work.. during sex.
Suddenly, when I got near to the towel, he grabbed my hands painfully, both with his left hand; so much for him being delicate and small..
I was shocked, I couldn't even blink for the fear that I thought had long since left me...
He awoke so many feeling in me then, that I was stunned. I saw him looking at me, now with both of his eyes, as he was completely sitting on the table he had moments ago been laying.
His look only made the heat in my stomach become almost unbearable and the blush on my cheeks to flare brighter,
As if he was reading my mind, he pulled me in near him; that's when I felt my hands on his perfect, muscled manly chest..
I felt his hot breath tickle my face, his hands were on the small of my back so desperately near my round ass, his face was dangerously nearing mine..
I closed my eyes in hope of his lips on my own, caressing them, abusing, chewing softly with the canines he has until it bled.. Yes, I wanted him to hurt me, and badly at that..
I don't need gentleness, I've got plenty of that.. I want abusive, restless, insatiable anyone who didn't care about poor little girls, Only fucked up women who saw to there needs…

.

As I stood there in his arms waiting for kiss, I heard him laugh softly at me; Opening my eyes, I realized how close he was to me, his lips barely hovering over mine, but he changed his route. Instead of kissing me, he moved to my ear his breath caressing it, he breathed huskily into my ear, he almost panted..
"You're an eager one, aren't you?" I felt myself grow wetter because of his voice, but when I felt his tongue probing my earlobe I gasped.. Loudly...
He smirked against my ear, and started chewing softly where his tongue was second ago; this time I moaned against his ear, and started panting like crazy..
"Like it?" he whispered, as his hands rested on my hips. Instantly he lifted me from the ground and into his lap, on the table..
Nerves rushed through me again as he collected me in his arms and embraced me hard and demanding. Moving from my ear, he was again in front of my face, piercing me with his cold eyes, which I thought I where the same as my own..
His lips suddenly closed over mine hard, bruising, he plunged his tongue in my mouth roughly, and encircled mine. I responded with equal passion not showing any sign of shame or embarrassment at all..
Groaning like animal, he tugged me nearer his body, I could feel his erection pressing against me beneath that damned towel..
I was grinding my body with his, rubbing my lower parts against his in hope that the ache would be gone..
He harshly ripped my shirt open which only left only my black linen bra, my nipples were long erected and stood in whole their glory for him.
He proceeded to my neck, sucking and biting hard, so that I moaned for him.. he tried to get me to scream his name, which I didn't want to ..
Instead I panted like a dog in heat, screamed when he bit really hard to which he responded biting even harder.

Delicious..

"Your nipples are erected, and yet I still haven't touched one" it was not a question, more of a fact which he noticed. It was true, he had awoken my sexual desires and the demons inside, I've gone mad with lust..
He pinched one of my nipples hard, looking for my reaction and all he got was a loud , strangled moan because of the pleasure that was building inside of me now, i only needed a few more bites, and I was sure coming all over his lap.
Shivers went down my spine when I noticed that his hands went down beneath my skimpy skirt, I wanted to feel his hand rubbing and fucking me insanely, but not as much as I needed his member there..
He latched on to a nipple with his mouth sucking it eagerly, like a infant thirsty for milk. I narrowed my eyes cause of the brutal force he used while possibly chewing my nipple until it bled.
Impossible pain, and still pleasurable soothing pain, which curled my toes.
My skirt was soon removed as well, and now the only thing separating us was a towel and my panties..
As he removed his mouth from my breast, he touched me finally there, between my sweaty legs, and when he sensed how soaked I was he groaned loudly.
"You're soaking wet. Don't tell me you want me so much? Eh?" his naughty remark turned me on even more, as I grinned more into his hand.
His touches were unsatisfying, with slow, ghost like touches he made me lose my mind with desperateness.
He pulled my hair hard suddenly and made me face him.
"You didn't answer, my tenshi"
Angel.. what irony.
Pointing his erection towards my wet folds he made me snap back to reality and brought back my desire.
"I want you... Please"
I begged, first time in my life I pleaded for something, and that was for a complete stranger.
"Are you sure? If I take you now, you'll be mine forever. Are you willing to accept that, for this?" he rubbed his painfully large erection against my aching pussy, making it harder and harder for me to see.. to see the truth hidden beneath the hazes of lust and wantonness I felt..
But I didn't care, how can it get worse than this suffering?.. So I went with it..
"Hai, … ahhhh" and that's when he took me. That night I was his, tight, pulsating , squeezing all around his large, hard member.. the first time together, and it was my first time experiencing sex.. It was like a dream come true. I still remember his breath as he trusted inside of me hard, his pants against my ear were so erotic that made me lose my sanity and cum over and over again. His voice as he spoke in sly, sultry way to me..
He took me painfully hard then, only cared to reach his own peak , not really caring for me..
He didn't even take my panties off, instead he fucked me in them..
"I like it when you have them on" he usually says..
Things are pretty much the same even now, he still take's me when he want's to, hard, slow, painful, teasing, any way he liked it, not wanting to ask me for anything. It didn't matter, I was here just for his own amusement, for his own game..
And I liked when he was like that, possessive, merciless , demanding.. All for me, just for selfish me..
And it went like that, on and on..
I was his angel, his light which burned into his darkest nights.. Everything to him, but still nothing..
He took me away with him, to breath and live for him.
A slave for his eyes only..
My lips are just his to kiss, my arms are just his to hug, my legs are just his to wrap around his waist while he had me.. My heart... just his to move and beat for him.
I had a choice, well two choices actually, to go with him or to return to my resentful, painful life.
And it was easy, I picked the one which will end faster.
He comes and goes when he wants to, not worrying about my well being, he was satisfied with the thought of me being home waiting to fulfill his every need and wish..
And here I am, sitting tired in the farthest corner of my dark room, bleeding, waiting for my drug.. For him..
Maybe he'll come today, maybe not.
Maybe he'll see me, maybe not.
Maybe he'll kill me.... but that will be asking for too much....

I think it's much better, don't you? :)