The Nights of Stormcage
By KingdomHeartsNerd
Summary: We all know River Song often escapes her cell, but just what do the guards go through when she returns?
I: Aliens
The first time, it just seemed odd.
"Doctor Song?" He inquired, peering into her cell. "Just... what are you doing?"
There were eight thousand of them in her cell. Eight thousand tiny, little, green aliens all chanting "The Claaaawwwwww!"; From somewhere within one of the boxes - he was sure it was the one furthest back - Doctor Song's hair could just be seen.
"I'm looking for a hammer!"
She emerged, dressed in the prisoners uniform of the Stormcage; a large, green, toy hammer was hung over her shoulder. She raised it, and brought it smashing down onto the head of one of the green aliens; well, almost. The hammer stopped and a very malicious look crossed her face.
She began scooping the aliens up, and threw them into the boxes; she reached into her pocket and pulled out a stamp; sellotaping the boxes shut, she slammed the stamp down onto the top of them.
She turned to him, a smile on her face; "Deliver these, would you?"
In days to come, he would never understand why River Song was so odd, nor why, three days after the boxes had been mailed, a letter turned up. He would never understand her, he reasoned, when she took one look at the letter - which had a picture attached - and howled with laughter, rocking on the bed.
"Oh!" She cried, wiping her eyes. "I have to show this to Mum! She'll love it." She picked up her diary and scanned through it. "When's the next time that I am due to escape? Let's see: April 7th? No... That was Napoleon; June 24th? No... that was when I slept with Edward VI; July 5th? Hmm... July 5th is clear."
And... true to her word, on July 5th, she was gone for the whole day and returned that night with a tray of cookies.
He would never understand Doctor Song. Never.
To Be Continued
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