What We Came Up With
After two years
Author's Note: Hello, everybody! I know that you've been waiting with bated breath for two years to see another part added to the saga. Obviously, things have changed quite a bit since we last saw our heroes Faith, Amy, and Scott back in 2008. I am "Scott" and will now continue it from two years after the part that Faith left off. . .kinda.
PS: I don't own any popular brands or companies named in this story or any rights to them, blah blah blah, legal junk.
CHAPTER 4: The 2010
About two years ago, three seventh graders named Amy, Faith, and Scott embarked on a global journey to attempt to defeat the ludicrous film version of Edward Cullen using young children with big guns, and Pokéballs. Oh, and of course the Beacon of Souls. Along the way, they dealt with people of many cultures, scared cashiers, talking beavers, a Banshee lady-thingie, and a very old withered version of Voldemort (AKA "Voldie the Oldie"). All of this was because Stephenie Meyer contemplated cancelling the next novel in The Twilight Saga, "Midnight Sun". Today, the three children are ninth graders, retired from their world-saving duties in the Summer, and separated. Even after two years, there has been no word on a release date for "Midnight Sun".
One fine day, Scott sat in the spillout of his high school during break. Actually, he was mindlessly bothering people with his friends Karen and Nugget - these were his high school friends since Amy and Faith ended up going to different schools. "Now that I've pretty much told you guys about the old days, it's time for you to join me in a demonstration." he said to his friends. "What?" asked Nugget. "You want us to just leave like that?" wondered a confused and bewildered Karen out loud. Without word, Scott linked his friends together in that arm-in-arm wedding-type pose with Karen in the middle. They all walked casually, in sync down the stairs, through the hallway, and out the door into the football field located in the rear of Coral High School. Once they were out of view of any possible security guard threat, they ran towards the parking lot, still in rhythm.
"Why are we here?" asked Karen, "Do you have a car or something?" "Or something." Scott replied with a wicked grin, gesturing towards none other than. . . . . . . . . . JUSTIN BIEBER'S TOUR BUS! They all climbed into the luxurious vehicle. "Great," said an impressed Nugget, "but who's gonna drive?" "Is our bus driver the Biebs?" asked Kari, making 'the Biebs' sound like a South-African hive disease. They all walked into the bus' 'cockpit' and around spun the driver's seat. Who was in it? asks the reader. Steffy. Steffy was a friend of the original children from R Middle School. It was easy to distinguish her when her afro puff-like hair was in view. She said nothing as the brakes hissed, and the bus suddenly jerked forward. Scott and Nugget enjoyed the rush while Karen was absolutely pinned to her seat in terror. Suddenly, the closet door flew open, revealing Justin Bieber all tied up with his mouth duct-taped. A short, chubby girl about seven years old with a head the shape of a watermelon and a purple book bag (with a face) shoved him aside and walked out. "Where are we going?" asked Dora the Explorer and then clapped three times rhythmically. Nobody had an answer.
Before she had the chance to ask again, Scott opened up a large window, and the vacuum coming from the bus' high velocity with the window open sucked Dora out into the expressway. The body rolled backwards into oncoming traffic, and the last thing the teens saw of her was a small gray monkey wearing red boots sticking up the middle finger at her corpse and dancing on the pile of paraphernalia from her now tire-marked, squished backpack.
The brakes hissed again as the bus pulled over at G. H. B. High School and it was in a secluded place - right in the middle of a major four-way intersection. Everyone (except Bieber) left the bus and secured it as they walked into the learning institution casually, as if they weren't a group of teenagers that had just killed America's leading preschool sensation on America's second-best pop sensation's tour bus. They walked by three security guards, donning artificial mustaches and not moving an eye of suspicion in their direction. Steffy pointed at a classroom and hissed in her attempt at a man-ish voice "That one." They thrust the door open and Nugget boomed, "FAITH! COME OUT HERE! NOW!". Not the students nor the teacher even glanced in the gang's direction. They were all texting and updating their statuses while the teacher slept. Faith, seeing no harm in walking over to a group of disguised teenagers posing as some sort of administration merrily skipped out into the hall. The kids all locked arms and ran. Their facial hair fell off, and Faith exclaimed happily, "Oh, it's you guys! YEEE!". Scott introduced Faith to Karen and Nugget, and Steffy introduced Faith to Paula, who was a quiet friend of Steffy's (yes, she was there the whole time). They all entered the bus, and Justin Bieber was sitting in the kitchenette eating macaroni and cheese - in his pajamas! "OH MY GOSH!" Faith screeched as she glanced in the direction of the pop star. "IS THAT THE MAC AND CHEESE WITH SOY BACON?" he nodded, a bit disappointed that nobody had acknowledged his celebrity status once in the entire day.
Everyone got strapped in, and Steffy slammed the accelerator. Now they had to travel about forty minutes to Rorgan Mobert Educational Center.
About halfway there, the bus put-putted to a halt. "What happened?" asked Nugget. Karen was asleep, Paula was texting, Scott was playing some license plate game with Faith, Nugget was having a taste of Justin Bieber's blood (didn't tell you he was a vampire?), and Steffy was telling the group, "Guys, we need gas." Justin, who was about to lose consciousness suggested that we go to BP. Nugget decided to finish him off when Scott shouted, "Don't kill him! We'll need him later, trust me." Instead, they went to the Shell across the street.
Earlier that day, Faith was sitting in her desk, humming some sort of sick, twisted song with a little girl's singing voice happily doing her extremely complicated and seemingly pointless assignment. Three, two, one. She chanted in her thoughts, and the teacher's head fell to the desk in exhaustion and lack of motivation for his worthless life. Now she was drawing bleeding flowers on her desk with a color-changing iridescent ink purchased from some store in some place. Her surrounding students seldom glanced over at her, and she grinned as she realized so. With a teacher that could bore himself to sleep, there was no need to torture him in the fashion of Mr. S. two years ago. Memories, memories, indeed. She thought. Before she had realized it, the time passed quite quickly. It had already been an hour. I wonder, does Kraft make mac and cheese with soy bacon? Just then, a troop of mustachioed people burst through the door, interrupting her random contemplating of simple vegetarian meals for the home. "FAITH! COME OUT HERE! NOW!"
"Well, you all know what this means," implied Faith. Scott nodded in agreement. Everyone else just stared at them with oblivious faces. "we make the pop star push!" she finished. Before anyone had realized it, Justin was chained to the back of his own bus, pushing it with his puny strength. After all, he was only one sixteen-year-old boy, and the shortest one of the group at that. He pushed with all his might, grunting in agony as everyone else sat inside lounging around like worthless lumps. All except for Paula, who was standing on top flogging him with a very long Slim Jim (much to Faith's disapproval).
Nugget was laying on top of the small rug in the onboard bathroom of the bus, counting the stars in the night sky (despite the fact that he was under the roof of the bus in broad daylight), when suddenly the bus lurched forward and the speed became extremely dangerous! He ran out to find the other members of the bus huddled around the rear window in awe. Some bizarre flame had engulfed 'the Biebs' and was shoving the bus forward extremely quickly. Before anyone else had realized it, the bus stopped in front of Rorgan Mobert. The flame actually evaporated off of an alive and shocked Justin Bieber and was entering the bus' door. The lights flickered and each one burned out, sending sparks everywhere. The flame pierced the air with its deadly smell, and suddenly burned out. Standing in the pile of ashes that was once a flame was Arlene, another middle school friend with bright red hair, indeed. Faith hugged Arlene with a squeal, and they jumped up simultaneously. Scott followed suit, whereas everyone else simply said "Hello,". Steffy on the other hand looked on in resentment.
After leaving Justin Bieber in the bus and donning fake mustaches (yet again), they stepped into the school and walked by security nonchalantly. "That's her room" said Steffy in a better man impression while pointing at a door. The children walked in only to find something bizarre - their other middle school friend Carla was singing into a microphone while everyone else looked on. Arlene, who opted for large sunglasses to complete her disguise walked over to the instructor of the small group of students. She hastily announced, "Hello, I'm Oscar Martinez from Ear Bleed Records and we would like to introduce Carla as a gospel singer to the teen demographic." the teacher introduced themselves (whatever gender they were) and shook hands with 'Oscar'.
Soon enough, everyone was running out of the school, linked together by arms toward the bus. The disguises flew off. "Oh, it's you guys!" Carla said in a newfound bliss with a smile. Arlene blatantly stated "We R Who We R!" and everyone broke out into a quite awful rendition of the hit single as they continued running toward the bus. All except for Faith, who wasn't big on commercially-ranked artists. Justin Bieber ran up to them, "Hey, the bus is gone." was all he could state in a completely indifferent tone. Carla ran up to the celebrity and hugged him while screaming "BIEBEEE!" Nugget was doing some sort of "Stayin' Alive" dance, Karen was updating her status, and the rest of the group was wondering how they could transport themselves to John Not A. Ferguson High School.
Earlier that day, Carla was sitting in her sound engineering class. I swear, if I ever see Justin Bieber in person, I'll call him 'Biebeee' she said in her random ponderings. "Alright class, today we'll begin our solo recordings for our upcoming Auto-Tune project." said none other than the teacher. Carla giggled in excitement, knowing that she'd been waiting to begin this project for weeks. As the other students performed, everyone in the class heard exactly what was going on in the recording booth. Carla's heart began to pound, her adrenaline attempting to quench her calm-thirsty raw nerves. "Carla?" asked the teacher. It was her turn. She walked into the booth and accidentally tripped on a dust particle sending her flying headfirst into the stool. She stood up, composed herself, sat down in the now upright again stool, and suddenly belted out "Don't Stop Believing" beautifully. I now have an inner voice. Who needs "Glee" when they've got me?
Suddenly, a group of mustachioed people burst through the door. One of them, who was the only one in the group with sunglasses walked over to her teacher. Carla continued singing as the person spoke to her teacher. "Carla, it looks like you just got your big break." the teacher said into the microphone. Carla ran out into the class and joined the bizarre people.
Miraculously, another tour bus sped over to them and squealed to end up literally stopped on a dime. Carla ran up to the dime, "Ooh, a 1964 dime!". The bus door flew open to reveal a very hungover looking Ke$ha. "Hey, I heard you guys singing 'We R Who We R'." Come join my bus partay!". Seeing nothing wrong with running into a drunk woman's bus, the teenagers shoved their way in. "What an awesome partay!" exclaimed Nugget. The bus was empty, but after all, it was a party now. The bus began moving towards the next school without anyone behind the wheel and everyone danced. "Oh look, you brought Biebeee!" sang Ke$ha. 'Biebeee' started swinging his body around with her. Scott offered pancakes in which everyone tried a slice of. No one bothered to notice Faith painting on Paula, who was clipping Steffy's toenails, because Arlene set them on fire. Karen decided to sleep next to the exotic scene. Carla started singing "Tik Tok". In all of this commotion, Ke$ha began crying. The closet door of this bus flew open, revealing Lady GaGa hung on a clothes hanger, bleeding to death. A small Asian girl wearing a little skirt with two buns in her hair walked out after shoving Mama Monster aside. "Hey, it looks like Ke$ha is upset. Do you think she looks upset?" No one said a word; the only noises were Ke$ha's sobs. "I think so, too." said Kai-Lan. Kai-Lan walked over to the crying drunk lady, "Ke$ha, what's wrong?" she asked. "I killed somebody." responded the woman. "I'm really sad!". "Well, you need to calm, calm, down." sang Kai-Lan. Together they sang, "Calm, calm, down." "I feel better now." said Ke$ha with a sniffle. "We did it! We did it! It's really really true!" chanted the small girl. "So, who did you kill?" she asked. Ke$ha opened one of the bus' large panoramic windows. "YOU!" she screeched and threw the little girl out the window. Everyone watched in horror as Kai-Lan's head popped off on impact and rolled under a Smart ForTwo.
"YEEE!" howled Faith. Everyone else responded with a 'YEEE' themselves. That was when they pulled up to the school. Everyone stepped out donning the facial hair, Arlene wore the glasses, and Ke$ha wore fake eyebrows. This time, Justin Bieber joined in and put on Lady GaGa's blood-stained wig with a mustache. It was lunch time, and students were roaming the halls, not even noticing the two celebrities and the bizarre group of teenagers wearing fake mustaches and whatnot. Together, the group walked in the direction of the cafeteria after Steffy mumbled in a fantastic man impression, "That way." They stepped lightly into the cafeteria and suddenly the security guard stepped in their way, ripping off everyone's fake hair and glasses. No one even seemed to notice that Justin had escaped. "Truancy, huh?" his voice echoed through the now silent eating space. The children looked up in fear. Arnold, the middle school friend they came to pick up, was looking on with his friends George and Bree (of whom Scott introduced him to over the Summer). Only then did Scott notice that he, Nugget, and Karen were in their Coral uniforms, Paula was in her Lefix Valera uniform, Steffy was in her TERRible Environmental Exploration Institute uniform, Faith was in her GHB uniform, Carla was in her Rorgan Mobert uniform, Ke$ha was in a bikini, and Arlene was in a white jacket over her 'I'm A Vampire' T-Shirt with skinny jeans. "We're screwed." mumbled Paula. All of the school's security guards cornered them and the main one called the police as Arnold, George, and Bree looked on helplessly.
The fat original security guard loomed over the group, and even International Baccalaureate-graduated twenty-something-year-old Ke$ha cowered in fear. Justin GaGa walked in behind the oblivious guards as sirens could be heard from down the street. With him was a small eight-year-old girl with a large pistol, and a smaller six-year-old girl with a flaming cheese grater launcher larger than her head. Justin pulled something from underneath his wig, and tossed it at Scott. Faith pulled something out of her book bag. Scott caught the Beacon of Souls, with all of its gems and Madame Leota sitting with nine-hundred-and ninety-nine souls at its core. Faith held in her hand a small Pokéball. The entire group, now including Arnold, George, and Bree began floating about ten feet into the air, appearing as a swarm with Faith and Scott at its front, Ke$ha on Scott's side and Justin Bieber on Faith's side, Ellie and Jessie in the back, and everyone else in the middle.
Every student fled the establishment, and every teacher, police officer, and security guard gathered at the floor. A gust of wind swirled around the group, the fluorescent tube lights all exploded and sparked. Every door slammed shut and locked. Lady GaGa walked in, with eye-catching white hair, and a colorful gown made of it. She glowed with an iridescence - an aura of golden light. All color except for her hair-dress faded to black and white. She gestured toward Justin Bieber and Ke$ha and suddenly, Justin was had white hair and his own colorful gown, as did Ke$ha. They floated over to Ms. GaGa, and together they all looked colorful, and fascinating. Everything was silent. The remainder of the group counted backwards in unison. "three.…Two.…" Faith and Scott shouted simultaneously, "ONE!".
As this happened, Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, and Lady GaGa began singing "Bad Romance" harmoniously. The black and white room exploded in fantastic colors, with strobe lights, rainbow-esque lasers, and glitter raining unto the floor. Faith lunged the now glowing colorful Pokéball at the principal, whilst bellowing, "EDWARD CULLEN, I CHOOSE YOU!" he flew out of the ball incredibly, and pounced onto the principal, sinking his venom-coated razor sharp teeth into the administrator's neck. There was a sharp scream, and the police force began shooting. All of their bullets exploded into colorful clouds. Scott shot the most powerful soul gem in conjunction with Madame Leota's psychic energy and the agony of the trapped souls. Red lightning engulfed in a whitish-green smoke drowned the main security guard in insanity. Ellie shot her magical bullets at each officer, and Jessie shot each teacher. Nugget let his fangs slip out and began biting custodians. Paula and Steffy ran with George, Arnold, and Bree to the bus station. Carla joined into the song, and she began glowing in a colorful hair dress which caused an earthquake in the room. Some dead teachers fell into the apertures while Faith looked on wickedly. Paula, Steffy, George, Arnold, and Bree suddenly slammed into the cafeteria in a school bus, running over dead custodians. They stepped out of the bus and walked up to the principal, who was gasping and fighting for her life with Edward latched onto her neck. The small bus group began beating her, chanting "Bother, bother, bother. . .". Their arms soon became as lifeless as rag dolls. The principal began foaming cotton candy and Twinkies, which the teens began consuming. Amongst all of this, Karen was updating her status. The song ended, and the group fell to the floor. All weapons and gowns and auras disappeared. The cracks in the floor repaired, as did the hole in the wall. The corpses vanished and the bus had evanesced as well. The lights came back on, and the doors reopened. It was over.
Karen pulled out a camera and set it on a timer. The group huddled close. From left to right in the picture was Faith, Scott, Steffy, Paula, Carla, Arnold, Bree, George, Karen, Nugget, Arlene, Justin Bieber, Ke$ha, Lady GaGa, Ellie, Jessie, Edward Cullen, and a crystal ball with Madame Leota inside. The group was back.
…...
Later that night, after cramming the entire group into the bus and having a chat about the last two years, Scott was dropped off by driver Steffy. They all bade each other good-bye and good night, and Scott happily walked up the stairs to his room. He slipped and fell, breaking his nose, but after cleaning up the puddle of blood, he logged into Facebook. Karen had tagged him in about seven pictures. Faith tagged him in four. He went onto Karen's profile.
"just left Coral with Scott Phlish. gonna go on an adventure! - 9:41am via Mobile Web"
"am about to vomit on Justin Bieber's tour bus! - 9:52am via Mobile Web"
"just saw Dora the Explorer die - 10:01am via Mobile Web"
"wore a fake mustache and saw the Biebs eat mac & cheese w/ soy bacon. Left GHB headed to Rorgan Mobert. Knockin out - 10:34am via Mobile Web"
" Rorgan Mobert. Just had our bus pushed here by a fire girl from Scott Phlish's middle school days… - 10:45am via Mobile Web"
"Our bus got stolen D8 - 10:53am via Mobile Web"
"Wi-Fi on Ke$ha's bus (; - 10:56am"
"Lady GaGa killed herself in Ke$ha's closet and just saw Ke$ha throw Kai-Lan off the bus. DECAPITATION ! - 11:04am"
"Just got lunch gonna sneak into Not A. Ferguson - 11:36am"
"Oh crap just got caught by security - 11:42am via Mobile Web"
"WTH you guys gotta see this, uploading a video later… 0.0 - 11:55am via Mobile Web"
"had the best day of my life. Wanna do it again soon. Home (: - 9:45pm"
Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoyed the continuation. I will definitely attempt to get around to making two more chapters and then, you know, do this again in 2012. Who knows what lies in the future? Thanks,
~~~Scott himsalf