DISCLAIMER: its called fanfiction for a reason. be smart and resonable, i'm in no way claiming the characters to be mine.(although, come to think about it, they may be sooooooo OOC, that they may just have the names of JKR's characters).

WARNING: beware of slashyness, bad humor, serious OOC, confusion, and clitcheness. just a silly little fic I wrote. I had it posted before here and took it down cause it was really crappy. I'm still not sure about this version. I'm still not entirely happy with it. Well, tell me what you think....

Chapter One

Ding! Ding! The sound of a fork hitting a glass goblet. The students of Hogwarts looked up from goggling over their starry eyed neighbors, groaning, to face McGonnagall's stern face. Instead, they found Dumbledore's twinkling eyes in her place.

"I have an announcement to make, students." Dumbledore's voice said over the quiet in the Great Hall, "this year, Hogwarts will be hosting a Valentine's Day Ball as well as assigning Secret Valentines. You will be randomly given your Valentine in your first class today. You will be required to give this chosen person a gift strait from the heart, and trust me, I will know if you do not. Now enjoy your breakfast." He sat down amidst the whispers of students.

Ron groaned loudly, completely oblivious to the giggling girls around him or the glare Hermione shot his way.

"Another Ball! Who are you going to ask this time Harry?" He said.

Harry didn't say anything, choosing instead to glance at the silver-eyed Sex God across the room.

"I suppose you won't have much trouble." Ron continued, without noticing Harry's waning attention.

"Yah, Harry, you won't will you? Not with that body! Have I ever told you what a GORGEOUS arse you have, love?" Seamus cut in, licking his lips (although over the pudding in front of him or over Harry we're still not sure).

Somewhere, Harry snapped out of his thoughts very arousing "My, my, you flatter me, hon." He leaned in closer, over the table (somehow avoiding the pitcher of milk) and whispered, "Oh I know. Wouldn't you just love to pull you thick-" But he was abruptly cut off.

"Eager aren't you baby?' Seamus crowed.

Harry laughed and leaned back in his seat. "Oh shut up you great slut, Seamus!!! I was about to ask you to pull your thick head out of your arse before you make me sick."

"Yah," Ron cutted in, finally catching up top the conversation, "Harry wouldn't want you Seamus! He's into Cho, the old dog! He's not even GAY!"

"CHO?!?!?" Harry jumped up, knocking over the milk pitcher onto Lavender's lap, who jumped up as well, letting out a high pitched shriek and glared at Harry. When he didn't apologize she stormed out of the Great Hall.

Harry hardly even noticed though (although the rest of the Hall did), he was too busy glaring at Ron who remained completely oblivious to why he was in trouble.

"Cho," Harry started, trying to calm down, "was a mistake waiting to happen. However, without Trelawney's ever-useful foresight, happen it did. Now I am trying to forget she ever even happened, and it would be in your best interest, as my best friend, to forget too. Am I being clear enough?"

"Yes, of course, right Harry." Ron stuttered, looking dazed and not a little fearful.

"Good." And Harry stood up, walked out of the Great Hall, his hips swaying slightly with every step. Leaving behind a shocked but smirking Hermione, a gaping Ron, an aroused Seamus, a sobbing Cho, and an arrogant blonde at the Slytherin Table trying to quell his inner thoughts.

Back in the Great Hall….

Ron looked up and found himself fixed in the gaze of his other best friend, Hermione.

"What?" He snapped, his ears turning an atrocious shade of red, clashing terribly with his hair.

"Nothing," Hermione smirked knowingly, "I just thought you would know your best friend a little better than that Ron."

Ron, if possible, flushed even more. "How dare you," He sputtered, "He's my best friend!"

"I never said he wasn't Ron. I just said-"

"I don't care." He ground out shoveling a piece of toast into his mouth in a poor attempt to ignore his anger.

"Well I just thought that if Seamus could notice, it must have been pretty obvious." She continued recklessly.

"Hey! Are you calling me dense?!" Seamus jerked up from a staring contest with Blaise Zabini at the Slytherin Table (which he so obviously lost).

"Of course not Seamus, that's the privilege of our friend over here," she gestured to Ron next to her, "You just tend to not care about much rather than your own sexual pleasuring." Hermione pursed her lips disapprovingly.

"Hey! I can't help being dead sexy!"

Hermione's lips twitched slightly, determined to hold back a giggle, as it would not be becoming to her reputation. Across from her Dean let out a loud snort, causing stares from the nearby Ravenclaws.

"As I was saying Ron," Hermione turned her full attention back to the redhead, "You've spent 5 years in the same dorm as Harry and you still haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?" Ron snapped.

"That Harry's a gorgeous, smoking hot piece of ass that's just waiting to be fucked into a fumbling fool by Yours Truly." Seamus cooed, licking a drop of chocolate pudding off the spoon in his hand.

"That's enough. Harry's not that kind of guy!" Hermione grumbled.

"I wouldn't be too sure, my fair lady. Let's just wait it out shall we. Perhaps he'll be mine, even just for one night. Now what do you say? Come to this ball with me or not?"

Hermione sneaked a secretive glance at Ron, who snarling and before he could open his mouth, she answered "Sure, why not?"

She grinned, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, Seamus laughed, and Ron sputtered for the second time that morning and the rest of Griffindor cowered in fear of the verbal battle that was bound to come. Hermione skipped of other Hall, after checking her watch and realizing she's be late for Potions if she didn't hurry.

Ron stood up shaking and, finally realizing he had let the perfect chance slip out of his grasp once again, shouted,

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING GOING TO THE BALL WITH HERMIONE! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SLUT!"

And the rest of the school sat, stuck in their seats, torn between amusement and fear as Seamus stood up to face a fate worse than a banshee.

well...seamus should have known better than to come onto Hermione in front of Ron....but I can't help feeling sorry for the sexy git.

R/R PLEASE!!!!! Should I continue with the edited version ? Or am I wasting my time? should i just drop the fic altogether?