Disclaimer: I own nothing.
You probably have to read my poem or you won't get what this story is about. I wrote an angst poem but I decided I would try to turn it into a short story because I couldn't bear the thought of Lily and James being together. Yes, if you hadn't guessed by now I am against Lily/James stories. I don't hate them or anything I just dislike them. Before you say but my other fan fiction is Lily/James that is not a story it's a poem. Plus I need it to seem like lily's moved on but watch and wait as the mystery of Lily Evans unfolds. This is the angst part but the romance and the truth will come out in the next chapters. Also each chapter will be done from Lily and Severus P.O.V and maybe even a little James so you know what they are thinking and feeling. Please review!
I could beg you for forgiveness
That seems wrong somehow
Maybe because I know that you won't ever forget
The time I called you that horrible name
The first time in my life I truly regret.
I was curled up with my legs tucked into my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I was sitting down leaning against a wall in one of the abandoned corridors so it was pretty dusty and I kept sneezing. I was trying to muffle my sneezing because even if it was an abandoned corridor it was past curfew so there was a chance a teacher might hear my sneezes and investigate .I really didn't want to get caught because I don't want a detention and Lily would be upset...oh wait...Actually she probably wouldn't care because I'm not her responsibility any more. Lily Evans is not my friend. Not any more. I apologized a million times but she still won't forgive me and I don't know what to do. I guess even if she did say she forgave me I wouldn't forgive myself. I mean what kind of best friend calls his only friend a mud blood? Now she spends all her free time around Potter and his friends because she knows it gets to me. Lily knows Potter fancies her and I know that Potters attempts at getting her to go on a date with him probably will soon pay off .Even if she only does it to annoy me and not because she likes him. This is the first time in my life I truly regret what I have done. I lost my best friend because of one word I said when I was angry and embarrassed. It all seemed worth it when I got back to the dungeons and my house mates were congratulating me and patting me on the back but now as the weeks drift by I miss Lily so much. Calling Lily that awful name wasn't worth the first two minutes worth of congratulations and praise I have ever received from someone who wasn't Lily or my mother.
I rested my head against my knees and cried. I hadn't cried since I was six and my dad beat me really hard but thankfully only my mother saw that. Once I began crying I couldn't stop but I didn't really try to anyway. I needed to let all my emotions out. My anger and frustration at being replaced by Potter. My sadness at losing my only friend. My loneliness because I had nobody to share my ideas and secrets with. Most important of all Pain. It seemed to envelope me and I screamed aloud. Sobs racked my extremely thin body since I had stopped eating days ago when I lost my appetite. That was how is stayed for the next hour until my tears finally subsided then I lifted my head and stared out a nearby window. It was broken; a giant crack ran down its middle. Wasn't that Ironic? It looked just like how I pictured my heart. Battered and broken but still hanging on. I don't know how I will go on without Lily. She was the only thing that kept me going because she was always there and honoured her promises no matter what the consequences. What about the promise we made when he were 8? We agreed we'd always be friends no matter what. I thought Lily would be the one who would break the promise but I did when I called her a mud blood. I know that this isn't Lily's fault because I am the one who was awful to her but I can't stand this! I don't want to blame myself because I'm a true Slytherin. We place the blame on the one who looks the most suspicious (other than us of course). Now though I will take the blame for my actions because I caused this. "Dearest Lily flower my heart is broken but I know this is my fault so I will take the blame. I love and miss you so much" I whispered to myself. I didn't see the shadow standing behind me nor did I hear the soft sobs of the girl who had been watching me.