I haven't written fanfiction in years but in my obsession with Dreamwork's Dragon's, I've decided to put pen to paper (and finger to keyboard) once again.
This is a little piece that came to me while talking to a colleague about how she used to hate her husband seeing her leg 'stump' even though he had previously seen her give birth.
D~R~A~G~O~N~S
Astrid woke up from her lazy morning sleep. No. Astrid was unwillingly woken up from her lazy morning sleep. Not that it was exactly morning. The sun was barely beginning to peak over the horizon. They couldn't have been in bed more than a few hours. The arm that had been her pillow, and the torso that had been acting as her cuddling cushion was moving, pulling away from her. She heard a sigh and felt a hand gently clamping around her wrist and moving it to her side. Astrid squirmed and tried to pull the body closer to her. She wasn't ready to wake up or let go. She didn't want to open her eyes. She wanted to remain entangled around the body of the man she loved for just a few more minutes. When she was carefully tossed onto her back, she knew her attempt was futile.
"Hiccup?" She tried to keep her voice soft but it came out almost like a growl. How dare he ruin her slumber! She didn't open her eyes but let one hand travel up his bare back, only to feel it heaving slightly. Her senses began to wake up properly now, she could hear his ragged breath and a groan. "Whats wrong, Hiccup?"
"Just a cramp," he moaned, his one foot digging into the floor. His hands carefully rubbed the few inches of leg dangling below the knee. He was oddly wary about his leg around Astrid. She had obviously seen it, on mornings when she had entered his room unannounced to wake him up, or even one night when she dropped in from the roof hatch that he had built for Toothless. She had seen much more of him that night. However since she had started sleeping in his bed, he kept a pair of linen trousers on while they slept, tucked neatly with a pin. They hadn't been sharing a bed for very long. They had been intimate for some time before they began actually sleeping together. Not that his father knew that. For all Stoic the Vast (and very traditional) knew, Hiccup and Astrid still slept in their respective cabins on the Edge. This sleeping arrangement was very new for both of them.
Astrid sat up on the bed, her leg half wrapped around him from behind. Her chin rested on his shoulders and her hand instinctively went for his knee. Hiccup recoiled.
"Don't" he flinched, stopping Astrid's hand with his own.
"Hiccup, it's not like I haven't seen it." Her other hand reassuringly lingers on his back, tracing his spine with her fingers tips.
"I know you have… it's just ugly and gross. I don't even like looking at it."
"I'm sure I've seen worse," She tried to reach for his leg again but his grip tightened on her wrist. She settled for resting it on his thigh, gently tracing circled through his pants.
"I doubt it. Gothi is a great healer but she is a lousy artist." He mumbled, making sure the pin was securely in place.
Astrid sighed and pressed her forehead to Hiccup's shoulder. "Hiccup, do you remember anything about your leg being removed? Anything after the fight with the Red Death?" she didn't have to look up to know he was shaking his dead. She could feel the movement of her hair against the top of her head.
"They filled you with so much boiled poppy water I thought the sheer amount of it would kill you. It knocked you out… for a while. I was there, holding you down as you thrashed and screamed. I was at your head, holding willow branches in your mouth to help with the pain."
"I didn't know you were there when…"
"I couldn't leave you. They tried to make me leave but I couldn't. They tried to tell me I shouldn't see but I insisted I could handle it. I did but barely. I can still hear the-" she stopped, and gulped. The memory still made her heave, like she did when she heard the saw cutting through fragments of bone, the discarded bone and tissue hitting the bottom of the bucket below, Gobber's grunts and swears, Gothi directing him where to cut while Stoic help Hiccup down at the waist. Astrid never even conjured the thought of the chief crying, but he was, sobbing angrily, trying to hold back the tears as his massive hands clamped down on Hiccup, keeping him still.
"I don't remember any of this…"
"Good. It was horrible, Hiccup. But the point is… I've seen worse." Astrid returned her chin to Hiccup's shoulder and leaned in to kiss his cheek.
"It chills me to touch it sometimes." He admitted. "I hate it. I hate the cramps and the pressure. I hate the dull ache when I run. It's heavy and clumsy. I hate not being able to feel what is under both feet. I hate not being able to wear the leg in bed to make love to you, or worse, when it's too awkward to hold me up. Either wearing the bed to hide the stump with discomfort or without the peg but covered." Hiccup's voice begins to shake as his words catch in his throat. Astrid was speechless. Hiccup rarely had such self-directed emotional outbursts. He always internalised his anger and self-doubt. She didn't move, she kept her chin on his shoulder and tightened her grip on him with her legs in some strange form of a hug.
She knew it was awkward for him to be on top when they were together. Until they tried, she didn't realise how much balance was gained by having two feet when kneeling down. Their very first time began clumsily, Hiccup began to get frustrated at himself, until she made the move to topple Hiccup from his dominant position and straddle him. She took him, her hands on his torso, or clasped in his hands, or maybe they were on his shoulders, she couldn't quite remember. Maybe all three. She could however remember opening her eyes through the initial pain and awkward fumbling to see Hiccup's eyes drop and light up at the same time between the pleasure of her warm flesh and the sight of her lithe body on top of him, he was struck dumb. That was until Astrid started moving her hips, causing the pressure running from his stomach to his groin to build. Quickly. Much too quickly. He had felt like they were only starting when his hands went to her waist to lift her off of him before he spilled. She didn't mind and he appreciated that. I like this view, he told her with a smirk playing on his lips. Astrid only blushed and let out a shrieking laugh as he pulled her down to him, catching her right nipple between his teeth. The blurry events of that evening still made goosebumps ripple over Astrid's skin. They were graceless and uncoordinated, with mismatched rhythms even on their second and third endeavours but it was perfect. It was the start of something new, something fun and exciting. And according to Berk's rules, something completely illegal for the unmarried pair. That made it so much sweeter.
"Hiccup, I hate to see you in this much pain" she whispered reaching for his knee again. He didn't pull away this time. He let her fingers press into the tender flesh. Astrid untangled her legs from Hiccup and motioned for him to lay down on the bed. He did so, locking his eyes to hers. She never broke his gaze as her hands pulled his legs up to her so they lay across her thighs. Her fingers expertly pressed and prodded and rubbed the stump of his leg, first over the linen, then underneath after receiving a nod of permission. She unpinned and peeled back the cloth.
Astrid massaged Hiccup's back and shoulders many times before, perched on his bum as she dug her string fingers into the muscles in his back. He had done the same for her too, yet this was different. They both had backs, mostly intact too. Astrid had a burn on her back, from a dragon of course. It was an accident. Stormfly almost killed the dragon that did it. She remembered the first time Hiccup removed her clothes and ran his hand over the waxy skin of her shoulder blade. She waited for him to recoil in disgust. He didn't. We all have knocks and singes, He assured her.
They both had backs. But this was different though. Hiccup was more nervous about Astrid's hand on his stump than he was about her fingers on his manhood, the first time she ventured there.
Hiccup lay back on the lumpy pillows, relaxing finally with a sign as Astrid's nimble fingers, her firm palms manipulated and rubbed the scarred flesh. It didn't look as bad as Hiccup described. It looked a lot better than Gobber's, that was for sure. Astrid wasn't sure if it was Gothi that has taken Gobber's limbs but if it was, her tactics had improved. The skin was expertly stretched from the back to the front and sewn in place. She could see the small scars from the needle running either side of the enveloped skin.
"Tell me if I hurt you," Astrid spoke in barely a whisper. She heard a mumble of a reply and looked to where Hiccup was almost asleep again. She continues her ministrations, easing off on the pressure gradually until she heard Hiccup's breathing change to long, deep, sleepy breaths.
Gently and slowly, Astrid lay back down beside Hiccup, her back to him, pulling the covers up to her chin. Almost like a flesh magnet, Hiccup rolled over, his chest flush to her back. He woke for a moment, nuzzling his face into her hair. "I love you," he breathed out onto her neck as his arm snaked around her abdomen.
"I love you too. All ninety-five percent of you."