Title: The Joys of Alcohol
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Vague reference to 2x
Disclaimer: If I owned House, it would be on CineMax at 2 a.m.
Summary: What happens when Cameron and House spend a drunken night together? It's not as cheesy as it sounds, I just suck at writing summaries.
The Joys of Alcohol
The first thing you notice when you wake up is how incredibly exhausted you are. Your limbs feel stiff and the muscles in your legs and stomach are pleasantly sore. It seems like the drummer from the Chili Peppers has taken up residency inside your head and your mouth is dry. You're pretty sure you've never had a hangover this bad in your life.
You open one eye and take in your surroundings. Well, at least you're at home in your own bed. Your closet door is open and you get a full view of yourself and your bed. First thing you notice: you're naked. Second thing: you're not alone. Shit. The events of the previous night have suddenly come back to you. House at your door with a bottle of scotch. You really shouldn't have let him in . He'd challenged you to a game of quarters and you must not have mentioned you were a lightweight. You don't remember much in the way of conversation but you know that you tend to talk a lot when you're drunk. You also know that you tend to be a little more promiscuous when you're drunk. That would probably explain your current situation.
You close you eyes and bury your face into your pillow. This is going to be an interesting morning. You roll your face to the side and open both eyes this time. He's sound asleep and you are definitely happy that he will not get the chance to make fun of your nakedness when you scramble out of bed. You watch him for a few minutes, noting how much more attractive he suddenly seems. He looks relaxed and you have the sudden urge to pounce on him. You really should get out of bed now.
You think about getting up and taking all of the sheets with you but you quickly veto that idea. Seeing House naked right now probably wouldn't help the process of getting out of bed. You check one last time to make sure he's asleep before bolting from your bed and into the bathroom. You make sure you shut the door quietly.
Once inside the safety of your bathroom, you can't help but look into the mirror. You don't look as bad as you thought. Your hair is a tad frizzy but that can be fixed and thankfully there are no dark circles under your eyes. You rummage through the laundry hamper in search of something that is reasonably clean and you are forced to settle on a pair of old boxer shorts (they belonged to your husband but House doesn't need to know that) and a t-shirt. It isn't the most exciting ensemble you own, but at least you're covered now. You run a brush through your hair and tie it back in a pony tail. After washing your face you feel that you may be ready to step back into your bedroom.
When you walk back into the room House is still in the exact same position and still sound asleep. You begin to pick up the clothes that the two of you must've left wherever they fell. His boxers, then his jeans, your sweater and then your underwear. You make a pile of his things on the chair in the corner and you throw all of yours into the hamper. You don't want to wake him up. You are going to let him wake up on his own and give him some space to think about what happened. Not that you expect him to even acknowledge it, but at least he won't freak out and yell at you. No, you're going to go out into the living room and clean up the mess you know you will find there.
On your way down the hall, you find House's cane lying haphazardly in the middle of the wood flooring. You pick it up, questioning whether or not you should take it to him or just toss it on the couch. You aren't cruel so you make the decision to put it with the rest of his things in your room. But you change your mind when you open your bedroom door, no point going in and risk waking him up, so you just crack the door and hang the cane on the inside door knob. Good enough.
You are standing in your kitchen less than an hour later when you hear the bedroom door open and close. He's awake. You've spent the last forty minutes cleaning your apartment and trying not to image the scenario you know you're about to face. There is a small part of you that hopes he goes straight to the door and leaves but for some reason, you know that won't happen.
He's in the doorway behind you now. You don't turn around.
"Do you know what happened last night?"
His voice is rough and scratchy and you are absolutely sure that he knows what happened. How could he not know? He woke up naked in your bed for God's sake.
"I know all that I need to know. I don't know all the details, half a bottle of scotch on an empty stomach does that, but I am a doctor. I do know what the after effects of sex are."
You tend to ramble when you're nervous.
"Okay then. See you at the office."
He wouldn't really just leave like that. You turn to find him moving very carefully to your front door.
"You realize that this isn't just going to go away. I mean, I'm not going to force you into anything, but we do have to talk about what happened last night, even if it is just to clarify."
At this point, you think you would say anything just to get him to stay. He stops, his hand on the door, and turns to look at you.
"We had sex. You need more clarification than that? It was a mistake and don't get all excited because it doesn't mean that we're dating now or anything."
He looks like a teenager and for some reason it makes you want to throw something at him. Instead you sigh, roll your eyes and turn back to the kitchen.
"I don't remember saying anything about dating, I'd just like to know if we did anything else we shouldn't have last night," you say, sounding a little more confident then you feel, "I'm not asking you for a relationship. I can sleep with someone and not get involved with them. I slept with Chase, didn't I? Only difference was the use of different chemicals."
For some reason he hasn't left yet but you don't turn back around. If he wants to say something he's going to have to come to you for once in his miserable life because you're really getting sick of the way he's been treating you.
"You don't have feelings for Chase," he says. You smile to yourself. It's sad how well he knows you.
"You're right, I don't, but I can pretend that I don't have feelings for you if it makes you feel better," you tell him.
He doesn't say anything for a long moment and you go back to doing the dishes. You're mad at him now. You didn't push him. You weren't going to. You just wanted him to acknowledge that something happened and then he could go. But now he's making you out to be the bad guy when he's the one who brought it up.
"Don't tell Chase or Foreman about this," he says suddenly.
"Why not? I'm sure you're going to tell Wilson about it."
He sighs loudly, "Because when you told Chase and Foreman about that date you conned me into, it turned to hell and I think that if we're actually going to keep doing –this—then maybe we should keep it to ourselves."
You have to turn around now because you need him to clarify exactly what he's saying. You want to ask him what he means but the look on his face tells you he's serious. You know you're smiling but you can't help it.
"Okay, but you can't tell Wilson."
He nods, "Okay."
"Good."
"Good."
"I'll see you at work."
He doesn't say anything then but he nods and you watch him go. You can't help thinking to yourself that this is a pretty damn good start.