Title: Things Unsaid
Author: Emjen Enla (Fanfiction)/emjen_enla (Wattpad)/emjenenla (Tumblr)
Teaser: Obi-Wan goes to check on Satine after the attack on the Coronet. They proceed to talk about everything but the confessions they made.
Rating: PG-13/T (because some dirty-minded people might find an…interesting way to read into this)
Canon/Timeline: Either; after the episode "Voyage of Temptation" (S. 2 Ep. 13)
Dominant Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Satine Kryze, mentions of Anakin Skywalker and Tal Merrik, one minor OC
Pairings: Obitine, mentions of Anidala
Warnings: none
Notes:
-Here is a humble offering to appease you after I vanished for four months. I gave Fanfiction up for Lent again, and even before that I started serious work on a novel in the Creative Writing class I'm taking. That takes up most of the time I previously devoted to writing Fanfiction. We'll see if I can get back to posting more frequently now.
-This story was requested by RosaStarWars on Wattpad some undetermined amount of time ago. RosaStarWars: I finally got around to it! ;)
-Also, Alleluia, He is Risen! Happy Easter!
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
Duchess Satine Kryze's chambers took up an entire level of the Coronet. Since it had been mostly empty for the duration of the Separatist attack, it hadn't been invaded by droids. This meant that it was a perfectly safe fallback for the Duchess after the death of Tal Merrik.
As Obi-Wan rode to this level in the trubolift he repeated the reasons why this visit was important over and over. There had just been a Separatist attack. Satine had been the object of the entire thing. Since he was assigned by the Council to be her protector, it was his duty to make sure she was well. He was definitely not doing this just because he was worried about her. He was a Jedi Master, such emotional behavior was beneath him.
He deliberately forced the thought of Merrik's death and the things he and Satine had said beforehand out of his mind. It would go him no good to dwell in the past.
The trubolift door opened into a large and well-furnished sitting room. It was probably meant for meetings to informal to use the ship's conference rooms. A single door stood at the other end of the room, probably leading towards her bedroom.
Satine was nowhere to be seen. The only other beings in the room were two guards standing on either side of the door. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and stepped out of the trubolift. He crossed the room and stopped before the guards. "I would like to speak with the duchess," he announced.
The guards looked him up and down and must have decided he looked suitably Jedi-like because one spoke briefly into his comlink. "She will be with you in a moment," he said.
Obi-Wan nodded and retreated to wait. He felt far more awkward than he normally would. Something about Satine being the head of state he was waiting to see made everything more nerve-wracking. He hoped that Anakin didn't finish checking over the troops anytime soon. The last thing he needed was for Anakin to start asking around for him and get the wrong idea. Of course, the boy already had the wrong idea but this probably wouldn't help matters.
Obi-Wan wondered how much of the conversation Anakin had overheard before he'd…disposed…of Merrik. Hopefully, nothing, Obi-Wan didn't even want to try explaining that to his former apprentice.
The door between the guards opened a girl a year or two younger than Anakin came in. She had a small, round face, dark hair and shy brown eyes. She smiled nervously at Obi-Wan. "Master Kenobi?"
"Yes?" Obi-Wan asked.
"The duchess will see you now," the girl said. "Come with me." She turned to head back through the door.
Obi-Wan almost asked her where he was going to meet with Satine, but stopped himself at the last minute. It wouldn't do to draw attention for the fact that he was worried about it. "Thank you," he said instead and followed the girl through the door.
The girl led him down a lavishly furnished hallway then through a door on the left side. Inside was a smaller, more intimate sitting room with two couches and a viewport which looked out at the swirls of hyperspace.
Satine stood in front of the viewport. She had obviously just showered because her hair was wet and she was wearing a pale blue bathrobe. Obi-Wan felt himself begin to blush, and hoped his beard hid it.
Satine turned to face them and smiled slightly at the girl. "Thank you, Tial, that will be all for now."
The girl curtsied. "Yes, Duchess," and left.
Satine motioned for him to sit on one of the couches, he did and she sat on the other. They were facing each other, but about two meters and a caf table separated them. Obi-Wan wasn't sure why he noticed; after all, Satine wasn't a threat he had to be warry of. Satine took a deep breath. "So, what did you want to see me for?"
What had he wanted to see her about? Obi-Wan's mind was blank. He struggled to remember why he'd come. "I…I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." The instant the words were out of his mouth he blushed a furious red. That hadn't come out right. He'd just put his foot in his mouth like a green padawan, thank goodness Anakin hadn't been around to see it.
Satine looked taken aback for a minute then she said, "I'm fine, thank you for asking."
They descended into awkward silence. Satine looked every place but Obi-Wan, playing with the string on her robe. Obi-Wan shifted back and forth and searched his mind for anything to say.
Satine was obviously in the throes of the same dilemma, because after a few awkward minutes she blurted out, "The dress I was wearing is completely ruined. There's no way to salvage it. It's truly a shame, the thing was practically brand-new and very expensive, I would have liked to get more use out of it."
"It was a beautiful dress anyway," Obi-Wan stammered, then realized that she might take that wrong way and tried to backpedal. "I don't mean because it was expensive, I mean because it was ruined. Not that it was ugly before it was ruined. Just that it was still pretty afterwards."
He winced at the sound of his own voice. What had happened to the ability to flirt calmly and intelligently that he used during his many confrontations with Ventress? He was better with words than this!
He half hoped Satine wouldn't notice, but that would have been impossible. She gave him a small smile and raised an eyebrow. "Funny, Obi-Wan, I remember you being smooth."
Obi-Wan took a deep breath and tried to cover his lapse with humor. "So do I. It seems as if Anakin is rubbing off on me," still off balance, he rattled on without thinking. "He really only has three modes for social interaction, you know," he said, "threatening, arrogant and painfully awkward."
To his relief, Satine laughed. "That's very interesting," she smiled. "He seems like he should be very smooth, to match that handsome exterior," she frowned then asked, "Does he sign autographs?"
"What?" Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed. He wasn't sure why that annoyed him, but it did.
Satine didn't seem to notice his agitation. "My handmaiden, Tial, has a crush on him," she said, sounding a little embarrassed.
"Oh," Obi-Wan said relaxing and immediately cursing himself for harboring whatever non-Jedi feelings he currently was. He needed to get ahold of himself.
"She's been going on about him since you two came onboard," Satine said. "She wants to know if she's 'his type,'"
Obi-Wan almost said that Anakin was probably too infatuated with a certain senator from Naboo to notice other women, but that might grant the wrong impression of both involved parties so he settled instead for, "Tell her that Anakin is a Jedi and therefore cannot be in a serious relationship. However, if she asked for an autograph, I'm sure he would be willing to oblige. Of course, you should probably warn her that his handwriting is atrocious."
They laughed and settled into a more companionable silence. After a time, Satine said, "You seem to have done a fine job training Anakin. I'm impressed, I never pictured you as a teacher."
If anyone but Satine had said that, Obi-Wan might have been insulted, but this was Satine so he didn't care. "It was a bit of a learning process."
She smiled. "He turned out well," she said, and her smile turned a bit sly. "Especially if you factor in the Holonet's opinion."
"Hey!" Obi-Wan protested. "I'm on the Holonet too!"
Satine grinned. "Not like he is. You're portrayed as something of a sidekick, Obi."
"Well," Obi-Wan shrugged and decided to go for levity. "He is better looking than I am."
"I disagree," Satine said.
There was a long awkward pause. They both knew she had just had just admitted something, and they both knew that it was ill-advised. They both knew when to stop. They both knew what to leave buried. It was frustrating that they'd failed at that during the attack.
Satine took a deep breath. "I should thank you for your help during the attack," she said. "You and Anakin were invaluable. I don't know what we would have done without you."
Anything for you, the words rose unbidden into Obi-Wan's throat but he bit them back. "That is our duty, Duchess," he said instead.
Silence fell between them again. Obi-Wan's mind kept returning to the attack. To the confessions he and Satine had made when Merrik had cornered them. Should they talk about that? Part of Obi-Wan wanted to talk about it. He wanted to spill his heart out to her. He wanted her to know exactly how he felt about her.
But he was a grown man, not a love-struck padawan. He knew that nothing could ever happen between him and Satine. Mandalore needed her, and the Jedi Order needed him—Anakin needed him. This madness was not something they could afford to indulge in. Even if he wanted to more than anything.
He said nothing and Satine said nothing. The silence dripped with the things they would never say. After what felt like an eternity, Satine rose with an almost supernatural gracefulness. "If you have nothing else pressing to say, Master Kenobi, then I do have some things to attend to."
"Nothing else, Duchess," Obi-Wan said, scrambling to his feet with a shameful lack of poise. "I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time."
"That's alright," she said with a careful smile. "It was nice to see you."
"And you," Obi-Wan bowed. "I will see you later, Duchess."
He left the sitting room and headed down the hall. He could feel Satine standing in the doorway watching him go. He wanted to turn around and go back, but if he did what would he say?
I love you. I fell in love with you when we were teenagers, and I've loved you ever since. I will go on loving you until the day I die.
He wanted to say that. He wanted Satine to know exactly how he felt about her. He wanted to actually have the chance to really love her.
But that wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen. There were a million reasons why it couldn't, and Obi-Wan wasn't naïve to think that they could overcome those reasons.
He left the chambers without saying anything.
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