On Sins and Doom Trees
Guard duty sucked something major.
Yuffie leaned against the back of the tree bitterly, shruiken next to her. Though she doubted she would need her weapon, it was close enough for her to grab quickly should the need arise. A throwing star was in her hand and being abused, repeatedly cutting in the dusty ground and wounding the Planet they were saving. The fire danced and twirled, stretching towards the thick canopy of the forest, twisting and spiraling around the other flames. But a fire without marshmallows and ghost stories was only entertaining for so long, so she stared across at her guard duty partner. Vincent was standing there, since he had this annoying tendency to stand during guard duty. Yes, the whole time. Crazy, since he could stand up from sitting so quickly it wouldn't even matter. She heaved a dramatic sigh, and breath slipped through his lips.
To her intense shock, he sat down. He sat down elegantly, and he sat in a particularly badass way, one leg stretched out and the other bent so he could rest his gun-arm on it. He stared off into the darkness, because, you know, there was definitely a mysterious mystery in the darkness that she couldn't see, and those trees were definitely a threat. The way he stared, almost a glare, could make any tree wither. Yuffie, however, rolled her eyes. When he got that looking-off-into-the-distance-and-looking-annoyed-even-if-nothing-or-no-one-is-being-anoying look, you knew what he was thinking of.
Lucrecia.
Or whatever the hell her name was.
"Whatcha looking at, Vi-Vi?" she asked, giving her spicy new nickname. His eyes slid over to her for the brief moment, and his headband shifted in a way that meant he was doing his I'm-raising-one-eyebrow-to-question-you-because-you-are-not-even-good-enough-for-both-eyebrows-much-less-words-and-besides-I'm-also-spiting-you-because-you-can't-raise-one-eyebrow eyebrow raise. But his eyes slid back to the trees.
His new nickname was from his initials, which he had no doubt figured out. So she leaned forward far, to try to stare at what Vincent was staring at. The fire cast her face in sharp relief, and she let out a low whistle and nodded vehemently. "Oh yea, Vincent. I see now. Can't have those bastard trees staring at you like that. Damn trees. They so deserve the Vincent Death Stare of Impending Doom (™). Cause, ya know, they are so rude, the way they are just growing there and giving us oxygen and everything."
Vincent looked over at her. "Do you want something, Yuffie?" he asked in that I'm-only-using-as-little-breath-as-I-can-to-talk-to-you-because-you-are-only-five-foot-one-inches-and-don't-need-so-much-breath-wasted-on-you sort of way.
"Damn it Vincent, you were about to win."
Vincent stared at the fire. "You want nothing then." He stated.
For some reason, this sentence agitated her. "Hold up Vi-Vi-Vincardo! I want things." she said hotly.
"Oh yes. Materia."
She gaped at him. He'd actually retorted. But she snapped back into anger. "Don't you? Or if you don't care about it so much, I'll just take it off your hands…"
"Yuffie." He said sharply as she leaned forwards as though she was going to take his materia – even if she couldn't reach through fire to him.
She pouted, glaring at him and turning so she was now facing the trees that had previously posed a threat of doom, and stuck her nose in the air. That is, until she missed leaning against something and turned back to Vincent so she could press against the tree. Finally, she spoke. "Just because you don't know what it is to want something badly doesn't mean you have to glare at trees and put the rest of us down."
"…I want things as well." He said stiffly.
"Really?" she asked, suddenly curious. "What?"
"Forgiveness."
That made her angry. Rage flooded into her, pressing on her skin as it bubbled under, desperately seeking for a way out. Luckily for the anger, it found Yuffie's mouth. "Vincent Vicardo Valentine-" she started heatedly.
"Vicardo is not my middle name."
"Shut up. Vincent Valentine, you are a moron."
This startled him. He looked up, surprised. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You. Are. A. Moron. As in a Super-Ultra-Moron. If you took Cloud, combined him with Reno, added a twist of Palmer, grated in Heidigger and added President Shinra – oh gawd there's something to make you lose your appetite. Anyway, even all of them mixed together and stuck in a blender would not create a bigger moron than you."
"Is this going anywhere?" he asked dully, a decidedly bored manner hanging over him. She saw his eyes longing to renew his staring match with the trees.
She felt blood rushing to her face. Her muscles were tense and her fists were balled. "Shut up." She said harshly. "You, Vincent Valentine, are a moron."
"As you have established."
"But do you know why you are a moron?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Well," Yuffie said, the part of her face cast in darkness making her almost menacing, "I'll tell you. Tell me Vincent, what do you want to be forgiven for?"
"My sins."
She rolled her eyes. "And what, dear ViVi, are your sins?"
Vincent stared at her, but turned his look away. "I do not feel the need to reveal my sins to a sixteen year old girl."
Yuffie bit back a glare. "Or maybe, you just don't know them."
This time Vincent glared. She was positive the tree she was leaning against was letting out a dying squeal. "You know as well as I do that…Lucrecia…"
"Oh brother," Yuffie cried. "Is that all?"
Though many would have missed it, Yuffie saw Vincent's jaw clench.
"Please Vincent. Anything else?"
"I am possibly the biological father of the man who we are trying to kill."
That shocked Yuffie. Taken aback, she literally backed up. Then she cursed herself – how could she act like everyone else did when they saw Vincent? How could she do the very thing he expected her to do? She pretended she was reaching for the throwing star she'd lodged in the ground. "And?" she prompted, pretending that last confession wasn't anything major.
"I failed in retrieving her son for her, the son she never held, and failed saving her life. I failed her."
Vincent looked up. Yuffie wasn't looking horrified or remorseful, but to his surprise, she actually looked…angry. Yes, the little ninja was angry at his confession, and he could see it in the way her thigh muscles grew tight (not that he was looking at her thighs), in the way her jaw was a harsh line of rage, in the line that was her lips and in the grey eyes that had turned to cold slate. Then, all at once, her face relaxed. She actually looked…disappointed. Then she turned her eyes to him, and they were not angry, not disappointed, but determined. "You, Vincent Valentine, are a sinner." She told him with the air of telling him he had black hair.
Not for the first time, Yuffie surprised him. He knew this. Vincent had already known this, had told himself this every day, but to hear it from such young lips was a shock. To hear it put so bluntly had done what Yuffie had always tried to do and failed. It had made him uncomfortable. And this time, she wasn't even trying. "Pardon me?"
"You, Vincent Valentine, are a sinner. But not for the reason you think."
"Excuse me?"
She leaned back, and her eyes were even and level. "Vincent, do you know the Ten Commandments?"
The abrupt change of subjects was sending his mind into a tail spin. "What?" Three questions in a row from him, and Yuffie didn't even seem aware.
"The Ten Commandments, Vin."
"Of course." He said, getting his bearings.
"Can you recite the Ten Commandments?" she asked as though Vincent wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
"Of course." He said. "Thou shalt not have any other gods before me, thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain, thou shalt not worship false gods, honor your father and mother, remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, thou shalt not covet, thou shalt not bear false witness, thou shalt not steal…" he looked at her pointedly.
Yuffie winced.
"Thou shalt not kill."
Neither flinched.
"And…" Vincent found confusion clouding him. "And…thou shalt not…shalt not…"
Vincent looked at her, and her lips twitched downwards at his blank.
"Adultery, Vincent," Yuffie said softly.
Even if she had slapped him across the face, she could not have made her point any clearer.
Even if she had slapped him across the face, she could not have hit him harder.
He sat there, dumbfounded at the ninja, though he didn't show it on his impassive face. She seemed to understand, and her grey eyes were as condemning as those two grey tablets upon which that particular rule lies.
"Thou shalt not commit adultery, Vincent." She said, her eyes boring into his skin. "You don't even count it Vincent. Yea, you weren't the married one, but it's the same thing, isn't it? You shalt not covet your neighbors wife. Fits right in with that one. Most people just leave it out. Adultery, Vincent. Adultery."
"He didn't deserve her." Vincent finally spat, more emotion in his voice than either person expected.
"It doesn't matter Vincent!" she cried. "She was married! And you knewit, you knew it! The band was on her hand for all to see, and you knew it, and you did it anyway! I mean, god Vin, if you actually loved her she could have gotten a divorce! Actually, scratch that. If she really loved you, she could have gotten a divorce."
She had finally pushed his buttons. What pranks and teases couldn't do, her words has. His voice came out harsh and angry. "Do not speak of matters you don't understand, Yuffie Kisaragi." He said darkly.
She drew back. For the first time since she had first seen him, she was scared of him. But Yuffie snapped out of it. "I understand perfectly Vincent! I understand that you were the lover to an adulterous wife! And your excuse is that he didn't deserve her? God Vincent, who are you to decide who deserves what? Who is anyone to decide what we deserve? I mean, Leviathan, maybe she didn't deserve him!"
"Yuffie," he growled, and he was truly angry. But the fear in Yuffie was succumbing to the rolling anger.
"And you know what else? About your sins? You just talk about Lucrecia but, guess what Vincent? You were a Turk."
Vincent's jaw was clenched. Half of his face was illuminated by the fire, but darkness ebbed at the other half. The effect was terrifying.
"A Turk, and god, you don't even care! You didn't even count it among your sins. But you killed people! You killed people, and I won't say they're innocent because no one is innocent! From the day we are born we have caused someone pain – it's the first thing we ever do! Cause someone pain. From the day we are born we are causing someone pain, and from the day we were born we are destined to be guilty. But you killed them, and you killed them for a paycheck.
"And I'm not saying I'm an angel because, frankly, I'm far from. All of you, not just you Vin, act as though I'm too innocent to hear the things we've done, are doing, and in the same breath you call me a thief! Really, I mean, I've killed too! I mean, I'll bet I come only second to you in the killing department Vin! Maybe Cloud too, but I think I've killed more than Barret, definitely Cid and Nanaki, and probably more than Teef. And what's worse? What's worse is that Cid and Nanaki have killed less than me…" Vincent saw the glimmer of angry tears in her eyes. "And I'm sixteen. Nanaki is a hundred something and Cid is thirty, and I've killed more. At sixteen. I mean, we have so much more in common than you think Vincent. And I mean all of us."
Yuffie's fists were clenched, and she was glaring at him, condemning him. What he deserved. And that was what was got him. All the time he had Tifa's sympathy, and Aeris's faith in him, both telling him he did nothing wrong. But here was the ninja and she was accusing him, she was blaming him and holding him accountable for all he'd done.
That was the shock.
"You've seen some shit Vincent. You're a Turk. Then, you saw all the sick shit of Hojo. So maybe you're in first. But then there's Cloud, who was also an experiment. Cloud, who saw his hometown burn down at the hands of his idol, and then see it five years later, built anew.
"Then Teef. Teef saw her father's corpse, and saw her town burn. Then, she went to Midgar and saw the slums, and then she saw the plate fall and crush her friends. Crush the people she knew.
"Barret. God, Barret may be rivaling you. You wouldn't really guess it, huh? But he saw his home destroyed at the direct cause of his decision, losing his wife and his arm. I mean, a whole town suffered because he was progressive, and people lost. Then, after his friend is supposedly lost and he takes in a child, he goes to Midgar. Sees the slums, and the plate fall. And then, then he sees a friend he thought was dead, and then he kills him! So he's seen some bad stuff.
"Then there's Cid. He saw his dreams get crushed before his eyes. He saw all his hopes come crashing down because he saved a life. Some reward, huh? No good deed goes unpunished, right Vin?
"Nanaki. He lived with thinking his father was a coward, remembered his hometown being attacked and his mother dying and his father running off – to defend, not run away like Nanaki thought. Then he saw the world through hundreds of years, as Shinra took over. He hasn't elaborated but…I think he's seen some bad stuff.
"Cait's a robot, but Reeve…Reeve watched as the plate crushed the town he was supposed to be taking care of. Watched as the people blamed him, as people died and people were destroyed and he could do nothing. Do nothing."
For the first time, Yuffie paused. But she felt the need to sum up. Vincent could see it in her eyes, fierce, glinting steel like the blade of her weapon. "Then there's me." Again, she faltered. But she rose up again. "I saw as the Shin-Ra came and took my town. And I was there and I saw soldiers raping women – yea, it was bad, corrupt shit – and I watched as the walls of Wutai were painted red with the blood of my people. And then, I hid in a well and…I hid in a well and I watched as Sephiroth and my mother fought. I watched then as Sephiroth drove his sword through her flesh. Then I saw her bleed to death, and I saw him telling me that if I could run off by the time he walked ten paces, he would not kill me. Then I heard myself telling him I wouldn't run. And I saw him raise his sword, and then stop, telling me he wouldn't kill me. To see if I would keep my promise."
And Vincent couldn't help but ask. "…promise?"
"…I promised that I would kill him. I promised that I was avenge my mother, and I told him I'd grow big and strong and kill him. And he walked away, amused, to see if I would keep my vow. And then I saw my hands untying the bandanna off my dead mother's head, and saw myself hauling away her weapon. Then I watched my country, once proud and once painted red, turned into a tourist trap. I watched my country die around me, and I saw my father die, piece by piece. I saw my father not looking me in the eyes as he told me to leave and to find materia for the glory of Wutai.
"And then I saw you. I saw you in the coffin that first time we met. I saw that you were more dead than the corpses around you, and I saw that you, like so many people I knew, was dead in living flesh. And then I saw you come alive, slowly and painfully, as you met us. I saw the first time you almost smiled, that first twitch of your lips. It was Aeris, of course, the little bugger, said something and you almost smiled. I saw as you feigned indifference when you were actually trying not to smile at one of Cid's comments. I saw as you started to breathe again.
"So yea. I've seen a lot, Vincent."
Vincent was meeting her eyes, and he leaned forward, firelight against his pale skin. "But you missed some." He said softly.
"What did I miss, Vincent?"
"…you missed that Aeris was not the first person to make me smile."
Yuffie's eyes widened at the implication, and Vincent stood and stared off at the Doom Trees. The sounds of Cid and Barret's distant bickering came to them. Yuffie hauled herself to her feet, and walked over to Vincent, which was coincidently the way to camp. As she passed him, she stopped. "You're a sinner, Vincent Valentine." She said solemnly, but a glint of mischief in her eye as she looked up at him.
"…I'll work on that." Vincent said.
She smirked, and started to walk off, when a velvety smooth voice stopped her.
"Yuffie Kisaragi…you are a sinner." He told her.
She didn't look over her shoulder, just dropped her head a bit as she couldn't fight the urge to smile.
"I know." She said.
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A/N: So, whadya think? Don't be shy.
Hm. I did this because it seemed to me that Vincent always held himself responsible for all the wrong sins. And because I see Yuffie as a person who would hold him dreadfully accountable for everything. So, this is this. Hm.
The title is a result of a lack of something better.