Disclaimer: And of course, I don't own House M.D. or any of its characters. They rightfully belong to David Shore. But I'm having a shitload of fun putting them all in compromising situations.

Chapter 1

Cuddy wept inconsolably in House's arms after Tritter left. She was fine with everything at first, trying to put the knowledge of past events behind her. But every attempt to block out the detective's chilling words in her head was futile. As strong as she was she couldn't overcome and shake the incredible fear, devastation and sadness slowly consuming her, invariably projecting her outward emotions.

"That's okay," House quietly spoke. "You have every right to cry." He held her closely and kissed the top of her head, comforting her as she cried on his shoulder. "Shh, let it out" he said in a calming tone of voice while combing his fingers through her hair and gently rubbing the space between her shoulder blades. "It's okay. I'm here," he reaffirmed holding her tighter as she buried her face in his chest.

Moments after her crying fit ended he offered her the sleeve of his steel blue wrinkled dress shirt. "Let the record show that I have no qualms about being your Boogie Man," he facetiously remarked. "I know it's not a handkerchief, but…" he cleared his throat and spoke earnestly, "are you okay?"

Cuddy managed to crack a lopsided smile and nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine now."

"Because I can be here all night if that's what it takes or," he steered the conversation in an effort to distract her, "or we can be in Spain by tonight."

Her eyes lit up and she was beginning to perk up.

"I'll I have to do is call the airline," he continued. "Then we can take our two week all-expenses paid trip on Jew."

"On me?"

"No. Not you." He pulled away from her and dug into the back of his pant pocket, retrieving his wallet and opening it. "On Jew." He held up what should have been his credit card. "See? James Evan Wilson."

"House." She quietly laughed at his preposterous idea. "We can't do that."

"I know. I only have this because he left it behind in the cafeteria when he bought me lunch," he said placing the card back in his wallet.

"He bought you lunch?"

"He always buys me lunch."

"Knowingly?"

"I was planning on returning it to him."

She folded her arms.

"I was…later this week. Only because there's been a change of plans," he added with a smirk. "So what do you say, Cuddy? Adios Princeton?"

She grinned. "Let's do it."

"Great." House started to unbutton his shirt.

"Whoa. What are you doing? I meant the trip."

"I knew that, " he continued to undo another button. "In case you've forgotten I'm covered in tear drops and snot." He removed his shirt and tossed it aside on the floor. "I was just about to call the airline to bump our flights. Although…now that you've brought it up, it has been a while since we…"

Cuddy turned her back away from him and walked over to her desk. "I hardly call less than twelve hours awhile. Some people do it less than twelve times a year."

"Yes. But now that you've," he pointed to the massive bulge in his pants and thrust his pelvis, "brought it up…"

She sat in her chair and looked at him with a hint of a smile quickly bursting into laughter. "Oh. I can see that. I guess I'll just have to take matters into my own hands," she said rising from her chair again as House approached her. She greeted him with bedroom eyes and fiddled with the loops on his jeans. Then grabbed his waistband roughly, sticking her hand deep inside. Her hand gripped then pulled out his crumpled up shirt. "You always can make me laugh." She planted an extra soft and sweet kiss on his cheek. "Thanks. I feel better."

House leaned back into her and sensuously whispered into her ear, "I can make you feel even a whole lot better if you'd like." Then flicked her lobe with his tongue and sucked it lightly. "I'm promise you'll be smiling for days."

Cuddy nearly gave in to his advances but pulled away. "Aren't you supposed to be calling the airline?"

"But Mom," he whined with crossed arms hanging his lower lip toward his stubbly chin. "As you wish, Princess Cuddlecups," he said graciously bowing his head as he carefully headed back toward the couch where he had tossed his cell phone earlier.

Her office was dimly lit. All of the shades were drawn. Only the wall sconces and desk lamp provided any source of light. He blindly searched the cushions at one end of the couch, making his way to the middle. His hand landed on someone's leg. "Ah!" He retracted his arm and stared face to face at Annie and Andy, two full-bodied adult CPR mannequins in matching royal blue jogging suits. House swung his head back to Cuddy. "Holy fuck! Were these always here?"

"They arrived this afternoon. Next week is National CPR week and the hospital is providing free CPR training and First Aid classes."

"Oh." He spotted his cell next to Rescue Annie's knee and quickly grabbed it. "Shit. My phone is dead. Let me use yours." He walked back over to her desk, still bare-chested.

"Wait." Cuddy noticed the green light on her cell phone flashing, indicating a message waiting. "Hang on a sec." She tapped the mailbox icon and placed the phone to her ear.

A female voice came over the receiver. "Hi Lisa. I'm sorry to give you such short notice but Mr. Griffin would like to see you and Dr. House in his office in the next half hour."

Cuddy disconnected the call and bit her lip, looking at the time stamp.

"What?"

"We need to go to H.R."

House puffed out his cheeks and grunted, "Griffin-Dork? Why?"

"Don't know. But he wants us in his office in fifteen minutes."

"Isn't he supposed to be at a conference all week? What could be so important that he needs to…"

"House." Cuddy's eyes grew big as she plopped down on her chair behind her desk. "I think he knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us."

"So?"

"Well, for starters most employers tend to frown against or forbid personal, sexual relationships in the workplace."

"We've been really careful hiding our relationship."

"Says the shirtless employee making sexual advances at his boss in her office." She averted her eyes from him. "Will you please put your shirt back on?"

"Oh I get it." He ran his hand over his chest and flexed his muscles. "This is turning you on."

"House." She threw the garment at him. "Put in on before someone sees you."

"Come on. We've been pretty careful," he assured her, lifting his tear soaked shirt off the floor. "These have been the only bodily fluids exchanged between you and me at work."

"Today, yes. The past three months, hell no."

"Maybe we're just jumping to conclusions."

"Then why all of the sudden does Griffin want to see us? Right now? Together? You I can understand. I mean you see him almost on a monthly basis."

"Hey! That's not true. I see him on a weekly basis," he said proudly.

"It must have something to do about us. Our relationship."

House massaged his temples and paced the room. "Okay. This is what we'll do. You check the rules and regulations handbook concerning hospital policy and I'll book our flights. But first, I need to plug my phone in your charger."

"Power strip under my desk."

House got down on all fours and scooted Cuddy in her chair as she logged onto her computer. He crawled below with the intention of searching for the cord but couldn't mind the gap between her legs. And then a thought came to him. "Wait a minute. What am I doing? What are we doing? Let's just pussy out and go home. We can duck out of here and avoid seeing him all together. You said it yourself that we don't have to see Griffin until another fifteen minutes. It's already well after six."

Cuddy looked down at him curled up under his desk. "Good point. Okay, first thing in the morning then. That will buy us more time to prepare for what we have to say to him."

"But what about Spain?"

"House, we need to meet with H.R. anyway about taking time off."

"Fine. But you'll be the first thing I'm doing in the morning," he said gazing back at her middle, staring at the visible contours of her swollen mound through her panties and groping the ground. He put his hand around the length of the charger cord and gave it a tug. "Found the landing strip. Pow…Power strip…I found the power strip."

"You are not going to believe who I just saw," Wilson said, rushing into Cuddy's office.

His entrance startled her and she gasped.

"Aahh!" Cuddy sat up straight clutching her chest and one of the arms of her chair. "You scared the hell out of me! I thought you were…nevermind."

Wilson apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude upon you. Are you busy?" A low beam of light from her desk lamp made her more visible and she appeared to be alone.

"Actually," Cuddy pretended to tidy up her desk, rearranging a stack of files near her and packing them into her black briefcase, "I'm heading out. Can it wait till tomorrow?" she wearily asked.

"No. We need to talk."

Wilson closed the door behind him and cautiously took a few steps forward, sensing Cuddy's annoyance. He could tell she really didn't want to be bothered and looked like she had been put through the ringer. Her hair was tousled. Makeup smeared. It looked as if she and House tore one off moments before he interrupted her. He turned away from her and hesitated for a moment then thought it was best to warn her now about Tritter sniffing his nose around the hospital again.

He chucked a finger back at the door. "I just saw," his voice trailed off as he strode over to her desk, dumbfounded even more by her appearance under the light. Her eyes were tired, red and puffy. "Hey. Are you okay?"

Cuddy faked a smile. "I'm fine. Really. It's just been a long day. You don't need to be worried about me." She straightened out the creases in her skirt as she rose from her seat, grabbed her briefcase, "Now if you'll excuse me," and tried to guide him out of her office.

He grabbed her arm and stopped her in her tracks. "Maybe I should be worried about you. I'm already worried about House." His head sank to the floor. "Tritter was here."

"I know," she sadly expressed.

Wilson shook his head and scowled. "What did House do this time? He's in trouble again, isn't he?"

"No, but you are." House popped his head up from underneath her desk.

"What were you doing under there?"

"I was enjoying the view."

Wilson scrunched his face and looked back at Cuddy, disgusted. "Eew! Were you and House…"

"I was just paying lip service to Cuddy so she'll go way down south to Dixie."

Wilson's mouth hung open.

"I swear it's not what it looks like." Cuddy intervened.

"She's right. I was just plugging something in, " House quipped.

"For once he's actually telling you the truth."

"Yep." House hoisted his half-naked body into to a standing position and placed one hand behind his back while crooking his other arm holding up three fingers. "I needed to plug something in," he said with a wink.

Wilson flailed his arms. "You guys just keep your hands off each other."

House looked at his fingers, bewildered. "This still means Scout's honor, right?"

"Honestly, he was just plugging his phone into my charger," Cuddy insisted.

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Nice try."

House removed his hand from behind and dangled the phone charger before tossing it onto the desk with his cell. He rubbed at his leg as he limped toward Wilson on the other side of the desk. "The power strip is over there and Cuddy didn't want to crawl under the desk. She was afraid her skirt might burst at the seams," he cracked. Then slapped her ass and kept his hand there. "What? You do have a big ass." He gave her cheek a squeeze and smirked. "A big, fine ass. More cushion for the pushin'."

"I'm still in the room," Wilson sang annoyingly to get their attention.

House turned back to him. "Besides you know my methods, Wilson." He grabbed his leather jacket off of the floor along with his crumpled dress shirt and retrieved loose Vicodin from a side pocket. Then wiped at the corners of his mouth before tossing a couple of pills down his throat. "Why would Cuddy and I have sex here? Now? When we always have sex in your office on your desk."

"He's joking right?" Wilson roared with laughter and looked at Cuddy. "He better be joking." He fixed his eyes back on a half-naked House. "Look. I'm sorry that I thought you were…" he gesticulated with his hands.

"Fighting off a swarm of bees?"

"No. You know what I'm talking about."

"No. I don't. Just like I don't have the faintest idea why everyone around the hospital has been talking about us."

"About us?"

"Not you. Cuddy and me."

"I didn't say anything to anyone. I swear."

"Wilson, don't make me cram your fist up your ass."

"Okay, so I told one person…two people…ten people max…okay maybe everyone except A & E and Orthopedics."

"I knew it! Because of you Cuddy and I have a meeting with that idiot in HR to discuss our personal relationship in five minutes."

"Perhaps the meeting is about Tritter. Did you think about that? He was here. So you tell me. What did you do to piss him off again?"

Cuddy tired to intervene. "Boys. Boys."

House tapped his cane. "Remember when I told you I had a secret admirer? Well…"

Wilson's eyes bugged out. "Tritter?"

"No, you idiot. Ali—a former teenage patient of mine. The one who had the hots for me."

"Her?" Wilson chuckled. "I thought you said it was a case of Coccidioides Immitis and that her infatuation with you wasn't real."

"Well apparently I was wrong, okay." House finally covered himself, fastening the row of buttons on his shirt. "She was harmless at first, leaving me messages and giving me presents. But last night she turned violent, stalking Cuddy and vandalizing her home."

"Cuddy?"

"Tritter was here delivering the news to us that she was in police custody."

"That's good."

"Glad that we cleared the air. Now if you'll excuse us Griffin is going to be here any second."

Wilson made his way out of the office, closing the door behind him shut.

"James."

Wilson turned around to see the HR Director. "Ernest."

"How are you this evening?"

"Good. Thank you."

"I'm looking for Dr. Cuddy and Dr. House. Have you by chance seen them?"

"Yes. I was just talking to them. They're right here in the office expecting you." Wilson opened up the door again but to an empty office. There were two chairs arranged side by side in front of her desk. And in those chairs were the two CPR mannequins staring back at him—mouths wide open—almost in a mocking way.

"They were just here." Wilson said as he entered the room whipping his head in every which direction stopping near Cuddy's desk.

House grabbed Wilson's ankle and placed his finger to his lips as he and Cuddy hid beneath her desk.

"Ernest, I…I…" he stared at his face, thinking of a way to get him out of the office. "Have you ever had that mole checked?" He pointed at his right cheek.

"No. You don't think…"

"I think, we should go to my office and do a skin biopsy. It's best to detect and diagnose this as early as possible."

"Right now?"

"Cancer never comes at an opportune time."

Ernest reached for his worried face, focusing around the location of his mole. "You think it might be cancerous?"

"I'm saying that. But cancer is my specialty and it's always best to be sure."

And just like that they were out the door.