Power
"Fine, name it. Just…give me back that power!" – Odie, Trojan Horse
Disclaimer: Class of the Titans is not mine. If it was it would still play on Teletoon. (Why???)
Just a little oneshot to appease my muse. (Sing, goddess, sing.) What if Odie hadn't been pretending in "Trojan Horse"?
By the way, "Trojan Horse" is my very favorite episode, and I wouldn't change it for the world; Odie's too awesome for that. This is just a little 'what if?' scenario.
Enjoy!
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I don't regret what I did, you know. Not really. You see, my betrayal gave me a great deal I had always longed for.
Respect.
Before, I was never respected, even by my so-called friends. I've always wanted respect, wanted to have someone who needed me. I had a tremendous longing to be thought vital, to be the difference between victory and defeat.
And with him, of course, I was.
Because of my betrayal he won that day. I destroyed my team, my friends; killed them all.
And I smiled.
I smiled to show them, and him, that I wasstrong. That I wasn't just some geeky kid who couldn't tell a teddy bear from a live one. I smiled because I knew I would never be a laughing stock again.
But the respect I received was only a part of what made me turn to him.
Power.
The power he gave me was like lava coursing through my veins. It caught my soul aflame and left me cold when he snatched it back.
He knew what he was doing. When that power left me I felt four times as week, four times as useless; four times as pathetic as I did before. It was like suddenly being able to see for the first time in your life, than falling and gouging your eyes out before you even had the chance to see more than a rush of wonderful, tantalizing color.
I wanted that power. I wanted it more than you can possibly imagine, and I would have done absolutely anything to have it back.
And I did do anything. I lied, I stole, I killed.
Of course, I didn't only do what he told me to. All my life I'd been the target of bullies, I'd been ridiculed and beaten, and when I felt that addictive power flowing through my being I knew it was payback time.
I do regret that part; at least, I regret what I lost because of it. The only reason the bullies never broke my spirit growing up was because I always told myself I was better than they were. I told myself that if our positions were reversed, if I were one of the popular kids I would never torment them as I was tormented.
In getting my revenge I proved I was just as bad as they were.
You know, the earth hasn't changed all that much. Oh, the religious parts have of course. He forced everyone to worship him. I think he has some kind of desperate need for attention; low self esteem if you ask me, though I suppose I'm not one to talk.
But anyway, other than big, gaudy statues of him everywhere, nothing really looks any different. We still have animals and trees. People are born, they live, they love and then they die, just as they always did.
He beat the other gods down too. I'm still not sure how he was able to do that, but I guess they lost heart when their heroes were defeated. I haven't seen any of them since he took over.
I hope the other titans made it to the Elysian Fields; it's awfully hard to get in there, you know. And I'm sure I won't be going there at the end, not unless his influence extends that far.
Anyway, I can't say I haven't been rewarded, in this life at least. I'm rich, powerful and have all the technological devices I could use in a hundred years.
But it's funny; I don't play with them much any more. I suppose it reminds me too much of who I used to be. I spend most of my time outside. I walk, read and think. I still relish the feel of the incredible power I wield, but it's been years since I used it much.
Mostly I just remember. I remember the small, week, compassionate boy I once was.
For better or for worse that boy is gone forever now. I suppose you could say he died when I forced him to kill his friends. It doesn't matter.
You're condemning me now in your mind, aren't you? You're surprised and angry at the choice I made. You're disgusted with me.
I won't say you're wrong to think that, but consider this: Have you ever been tempted like that? Have you ever been so ravenously hungry for recognition and respect you felt it in your heart like a constant ach? I had this feeling; it burned in my breast like hot coals, always alight. I was offered what I most desired and I accepted. If you were tested like that would you have the strength to refuse? I don't know and I don't think you do either.
In any case, this was the choice I made and I don't regret it. To regret something there is no hope of changing is completely illogical, and that is something I have never been.
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Man, that's dark! I think it's the darkest thing I've ever written, and I probably won't write anything like it again. But the idea was one I really wanted to see unfold, and this is how it came out.
Anyway, I hope you liked it, and don't hesitate to give me feedback on how it worked and what you think. Please don't flame though; I'm very sensitive about those things.
Thanks for reading!