Friends
Angst
Xellos POV
I sit here thinking,
Whilst being next to the campfires fickle flames,
Thinking to myself and to my head,
Several hidden kept names.
My eyes half shut as sleep plays in my face,
Although I know it shall not come,
My mind continues to race.
What is a friend?
And what is trust?
I sit and wonder to myself,
Watching as the wood turns to dust.
Would they except me for who and what I am?
Or would they merely nod and walk away,
And go about of what they say,
Leaving me behind?
Oh, yes I know…
I know how they must see it,
I laugh to myself without a trace of amusement,
And as a twisted foreign expression begins to show.
I would never trust myself I guess,
If we where to swap our positions,
To swap our compositions.
Sometimes I wish…
If I am not to feel a thing,
A heartless demon with no remorse,
Then why is it that it's suddenly beginning to hurt inside?
I mentally gasp for air as I swallow all my pride.
Suddenly my eyes snap open,
As I feel her gentle grasp upon my shoulder,
And as I try to hide my face…
I still cant seem to find my place…
But she wipes away my tears,
And tenderly grabs hold of my chin,
Then it's her endless azure eyes into mine.
I swallow hard,
For she is the most mentioned in spite of that most unknown to me,
The one I want to hurt,
Yet so much want to know.
She sees me as I spill my hurt,
Watches as I make a fool of myself,
And cry myself to sleep while she rocks me in her arms.
I am confused further once again,
The one who hates me,
The one who lives for my demise…
Sitting here with me in her arms,
Not laughing at my feeble cries.
She strokes my hair and lets me cry,
Holds me close and lets me drift away,
As sleep finally settles in.
Then…
Everything comes into place,
My pain is at an end,
For now I know this,
I have found my friends.