Chapter One
Mr Flack, the guy from CSI New York with the black hair, was on the roof of the CSI New York building at night being sad because his girlfriend Angel or whatever her name was got shot or whatever it was that happened to her, I don't watch the show, I only like the first one. Unfortunately for Mr Flack, he didn't see the mouse's eyelash and he tripped over it, arms flailing, and plummeted to the ground.
Chapter Two
Mr Hawkes the chubby black guy from CSI New York, he's the coroner I think, was doing some dead body stuff or whatever his job is in the CSI New York building. He had to take out some dead body garbage because it was stinky, so he went outside and put the dead body garbage in the dead body bin. As he was disposing of it, Mr Flack came falling from the sky and squished Mr Hawkes like a pancake. You think this would have saved Mr Flack, but it didn't. Some say he died of a broken heart. I say, shut up, he died of blunt force trauma.
Chapter Three
Lindsay, the annoying twee girl from CSI New York who ruined the show and married Danny, was walking back home from the CSI New York building after her shift. She was almost at her house when she heard a piteous mew behind her. It was a cat, and it looked sad or whatever, so she picked it up. But the cat was rabid and it clawed her eyes out and she died.
Chapter Four
Danny, the blond guy from CSI New York who sometimes decides to wear glasses and is married to Lindsay, had the day off from his CSI New York job, so had been out spending a night doing manly things with his manly friends in a manly place. He was now sitting on the toilet, the evening's food shooting out of him like really hot lava. Why oh why had he put all of that manly hot sauce on his manly food? He thought he would surely die from the pain. He did.
Chapter Five
Adam, the random nerdy guy from CSI New York who does computer stuff or whatever, was at his house playing Guitar Hero after a long day working at the CSI New York building. He decided to challenge himself by playing the Super Hard Expert Prodigy level. He played some random song, it was Sweet Home Alabama or something like that. He played faster and faster until his arms fell off. He had a heart attack from the shock, and died.
Chapter Six
Mac, the main guy from CSI New York who's played by Gary Sinise, was in his apartment spying on his neighbours in a most creepy fashion. Suddenly, the phone rang. He was about to pick it up when he saw the time on his alarm clock. Three-thirty-three. He had a heart attack and died.
Chapter Seven
Stella, the woman from CSI New York with the big hair who you can tell totally wants to do Mac, was at the CSI New York building. She had discovered that Mr Flack and Mr Hawkes and Lindsay and Danny and Adam had all died so she tried calling Mac, but got no answer. I need a shower before dealing with this shit she thought. So she went for a shower. Unfortunately for Stella, she didn't notice she was using Adam's Head & Shoulders for guys who want thicker hair. Her hair grew and grew and grew until it suffocated her and she died.
Chapter Eight
Sid, the other dude from CSI New York who wears glasses, entered the CSI New York building at the start of his shift to discover his colleagues had been killed.
"Fuck this shit," he said out loud, "I'm not cleaning this mess up."
He put his gun up to his head and blew his brains out before falling to the ground, dead.
THE END...or is it? (yes)