Chapter One
Wedding Bells Are Ringing
Rachel Mckenzie is pacing around the brides room her white dress trailing behind her as Kuki Sanaban clicked her throat angrily chasing the dress with needles.
"Rache I can't hem your dress if your moving all over the frooping place, I mean I'm quick with hemming but not that quick" Kuki said her mouth full of needles as Rachel's little girl Elizabeth playfully swung her legs back and forth looking into a basket of rose petals.
"What's the point of me throwing these anyways mommy and Auntie Kuki?, I mean you walk down the aisle and I throw rose petals big whoop" Elizabeth said as Rachel looked down at her shoeless daughter.
"Sweetie I know this doesn't matter much to you but where are the pretty black shoes mommy brought you to go with your pretty dress munchkin, and please tell me their safe wherever they are".
"Their safe in the doggies mouth right mommy?, I mean at least their not muddy which you were petrified of to begin with".
Rachel angrily moaned and went into a white Target bag pulling out a white box which held the shoes her daughter left behind only cleaner.
"Luckily your mommy comes prepared for things like this sweetie, I mean with you being a tomboy and all mommy has to be prepared for anything you can dish out" Rachel said throwing the box to Elizabeth grinning down at her.
"I hate these shoes their shiny and black, and they make my feet squeak when I walk it's really noisy and annoying mommy" Elizabeth grumbled pulling the shoes on her feet and looking up at her mother.
"Can I color my hair like Avril Lavigne's mommy, she has the coolest hair all black with pink highlights it's so cool".
"Don't bother me with your hair care tips right now Liz, I still have to wait for you fashionably late father who's going to be in the doghouse in two seconds if he doesn't hurry his takuss up".
"Hold still Jittery Queen I'm still trying to hem this dress, and besides at least Nigel is better than Wally, I mean his family still thinks I'm just a really good friend to him" Kuki said lifting the back of Rachel's wedding dress up and putting pins in it.
"You've got to be kidding me Kooks, I mean you sleep there every night and they still think your just a friend?".
"I feel weird mommy can I please take the dress or the shoes off?, I beg of you I'm asking this one favor of you" Elizabeth moaned as Rachel shook her head and Kuki looked down at Elizabeth.
"But you look gorgalicious Liz, I mean I don't know why you don't wear dresses more often, I can't wait to see you march down the aisle with those pretty bows in your hair tossing rose petals and swinging those pigtails back and forth" Kuki said as Rachel looked down at Kuki.
"Kooks please no more Kukiisms in front of the four year old, I mean she already makes up words enough as it is" Rachel said as Elizabeth's eyes brightened and she smiled up at Rachel.
"Do I really look gorgalicious mommy?, or maybe I can look prettyful, lusciouskins, hotness, or fineable?" Elizabeth said as Rachel looked down at her angrily as her smile faded and Rachel's eyes said it all.
"Young lady I see what your doing right now and it's not going to work on me, your going to wear the dress and the shoes, your going to throw the rose petals, and your going to do it with a happy face dimples and all understand?".
Elizabeth quickly shut her mouth and smiled as the dimples on her cheeks and chin grew out over her face and Rachel looked satisfied as Kuki hitched her dress up shorter.
"Well what do we think Rache is it short enough or are you going for the playboy bunny wedding?, I mean any shorter and everybody is going to be able to see your garter girl" Kuki said as Rachel looked down at her watch angry at the fact that Nigel was late and probably asleep.
"I can't believe he's late for his own wedding, but good old Nigel has to be fashionably late for everything including his wedding I guess I mean can't he be on time for anything in his life Kooks?"
"I'm the wrong person to talk to about that Rache and you know it, if you must talk to somebody Nigel is the man with the plan, I mean he's the real problem here".
All's we here is banging as Nigel was running to the groom's room with Hoagie and Wally chasing him as Fanny walked into the brides room smiling.
"Cutting it kind of close isn't he Rache?, I mean the wedding starts in 5 minutes and here he is running in like a jockey horse going to Camptown races" Fanny exclaimed as Kuki saw Wally's parents and a plan formulated in her head.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Beatles let me show you to your seats, and maybe we could talk a little about Wally and my relationship status while we're at it shall we?" Kuki asked a grin coming over her face as Wally ran at them but not quick enough.
"See Wally and I are dating and he had no intentions on telling you because he thought you guys would flip your lids if he told you so I decided that it was my honor and my duty to tell you".
"He's dating youuuuuuuu Wallabee Gregory Beatles get your tail in gear and hurry up about it you secret keeper" Mrs. Beatles screamed as Wally gulped and slowly walked down the aisle to his parents as Kuki skipped off the smile never leaving her face.
"Please tell me you had an intention to marry this sweet girl Wallabee, I mean all the times she slept at our house, ate our food, babysat your brother and it turns out your doing her" Wally's father said as sweat poured from every gland inside of Wally.
"Mommy just listen to the racket out there, is there going to be a fight between Auntie Kuki and Uncle Wally?" Elizabeth asked from inside the brides room and Rachel shook her head no putting her veil on.
"Not if your mommy can help it their won't, this is my day and I will not let Uncle Wally and Auntie Kuki spoil it" Rachel said as Kuki skipped back into the brides room twirling around Elizabeth humming Here Comes The Bride as Rachel looked back at her.
"Now Wally will have to marry me or suffer the wrath of Mr. and Mrs. Beatles who just so happen to be his parents" Kuki said her smile growing wider as Wally stormed into the brides room and Rachel stared at him.
"Are you fucking insane Kooks my parents are this close to killing me and it's all thanks to Mrs. Devious and her merry secret telling mouth" Wally hissed through his teeth as Elizabeth looked up with a surprised look on her face.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH mommy Uncle Wally swore, you told daddy that my fragile mind didn't need to be hearing swears" Elizabeth said as Wally angrily glared in Elizabeth's direction and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"I didn't think you were going to make her wear a dress Rachel, I mean isn't let her wear what she wants like your motto for the family?".
"In normal circumstances that would reign supreme, but today is not a normal circumstance it's a my mommy is getting married and I'm a pretty flower girl circumstance" Rachel said as Elizabeth started messing with the buckles on her shoes.
"Rachel do you ever think she'll grow out of this I'm a boy phase she's in?, I mean sooner or later she'll have to abandon all hope" Kuki said as Rachel looked down at her daughter.
"I hope so because right now Nigel's raising her and I only get to help when it's bedtime and she wants a story read to her, her favorites Charlotte's Web by E.B. White, she likes the voices I do for the animals when I read it".
"Can you read it to me again tonight mommy pretty please with sugar on top?, daddy is very bad at the character voices" Elizabeth said as Rachel got eye to eye with her.
"If you be a good girl for the rest of the night and promise not to complain at looking pretty, then sure I'll read you Charlotte's Web until the cow's come home" Rachel said as Elizabeth folded her hands and sat quietly knowing she was going to get something she desperately wanted.
"One minute till Showtime Rachel, you know there still is time to call the wedding off and join me and Kuki for drinks later on tonight, I wouldn't hold it against you" Fanny said walking in and catching Elizabeth in a dress.
"Now doesn't somebody look pretty, so what is mommy paying you to get all dolled up today sweetness?".
"My daddy's giving me 20.00 to wear the dress and shoes without complaint, and my mommy's paying me with her greatest voice for reading Charlottes Web to me tonight if I'm good, even if the ending is kind of sad".
"I can't believe you kept us a secret for so long Wally, I mean even Hoagie told his mom and dad about Fanny after their first date" Kuki said as Fanny held a prideful look on her face.
"Yep and we're going to get married next month and Rachel is the bridesmaid, Nigel's the best man, and our little Matty's the ring bearer" Kuki said as Hoagie walked up with a little boy in black spiky hair like Kuki's except spiky staring amazed at Elizabeth.
"Wow Liz you look beautiful and I'm not just saying that, I mean you look totally beautiful with the dress and the shoes, now all's you need is some makeup" Matthew Sanaban said as Elizabeth blushed and looked up at him with a smile on her face.
"Yea well you don't clean up so bad yourself, and don't get used to me wearing dresses and pretty shoes because once this weddings over it's back to T shirts, camouflage shorts, boxers, and scuffed up Nikes" Elizabeth said as Rachel shook her head at her.
"I guess I'm the lucky one that got stuck with the tomboy daughter huh Kooks?, I just hope she grows out of this phase soon, I mean whatever happened to Barbies, tea parties, and stuffed animals in a little girl's life?" Rachel asked As Elizabeth made a disgusted face.
"Mommy those are for girls and I'm not just any girl I'm a tomboy girl and that requires a certain style to keep appearances".
"Honey you are using so many big words that you don't understand, you have got to stop listening to Auntie Fanny munchkin she's warping that fragile little girl mind of yours".
"I guess it feels good to get noticed by boys, and if I become one of them then who's going to notice me" Elizabeth asked as she twirled around in her pretty, white dress.
"See now your thinking munchkin boys don't notice a girl with no dress style, but they will notice you if mommy buys you skirts, dresses, and flare pants which I have to say worked their magic back in my time, with glittery legs who can resist them?".
"Well it's Showtime Rache so let's get you out there and married so Kuki, you, and I can go out drinking later on tonight" Fanny said as Elizabeth skipped after them swinging her basket and Rachel could see her tomboy days were over.
"I don't know why your getting her new clothes for boys to notice her, I mean Nigel is going to hit the roof when he finds out what your doing" Kuki said as Rachel angrily shushed her as here comes the bride played and Fanny and Rachel walked down the aisle.
Kuki found her seat next to a disgruntled Wally who stared at her with dragon like eyes.
"All right you know that if I didn't tell them you wouldn't have so here's the deal yo, you and I are going to get married, we're going to have two more kids, and we're going to smother Matty with our love until we have another daughter or two who knows?".
"You just put my head and your head into the lions mouth you know that right?, my parents are expecting us to get married and soon, plus I have no money for a wedding you know that and I know that" Wally said as Kuki's hand linked with his her smile never leaving her face.
"Here comes our son Wallykins doesn't he look so handsome walking up with the rings?, If we get married he's our ring bearer, I mean he's already ring bearer of the year being Rachel's, Fanny's, and ours he's going to be weddinged out soon.
"Way to cut it close you fashionably late idiot, do you have the slightest clue how worried I was about you?" Rachel hissed as the priest looked down at the both of them.
"We are gathered here today in the hands of God and all his angels to bring this man and this woman together in holy matrimony" the priest said as Nigel looked at Rachel whispering.
"You act like this is all my fault Rache, I mean come on have you ever tried saying no to my friends before?" Nigel asked as Rachel just huffed angrily looking up at the priest.
"I believe the Beatles said it best when they said All's You Need Is Love, because all's anyone in this world needs is love".
"See Wally he's quoting John Lennon and John Lennon says All's You Need Is Love, so marry me already you cute little Aussie" Kuki hissed angrily as Wally looked at her and she stared back at him.
"As long as you don't mind a backyard wedding fine I'll marry you, but we can't do this extravagant wedding like Rachel and Nigel did because their rich enough to pay for the church and all the trimmings after" Wally said as Kuki eskimo kissed him.
"Are you kidding we can have the reception at our house it's plenty big enough, and a backyard wedding doesn't sound too bad at least it has the word wedding in it".
"Would you two pipe down some of us are trying to hear the priest dictate the ceremony" Fanny said angrily turning around facing Wally and Kuki as they gulped.
"How does one define love anyways, Webster's dictionary defines love as an emotion but what kind of emotion can love be?" the priest asked as Rachel angrily turned her head to Nigel's ear.
"You could have told Wally and Hoagie that this was your wedding day Nigel, and you have a wife about to have the meltdowns of all meltdowns at the alter" Rachel hissed as Nigel pretended not to hear her.
"Nigel I believe you had your own vows to make so on with it and then Rachel has her own vows and we can get this wedding underway".
"All right Rachel the first time I saw you at Subway eating a meatball sub and you invited me over I was head over heels literally, that stupid blind janitor pushed me to your table with his pushbroom and you laughed that angel laugh I love so much" Nigel said as Rachel smiled.
"You asked me to sit with you so I did and we shared another meatball sub together and you said you didn't know how to say what you wanted to tell me, so I said out with it woman and instead of saying something you said everything by kissing my marinara sauce lips".
"As we pulled out of our kiss the janitor said the next sub was on him so we had another and went home with full stomachs, love on our hearts, and each other on our minds, then we kissed on your front porch with your parents watching our every move intently and that was when I knew I'd love you forever and you were the one for me".
After Nigel said this everybody including the priest awed as Rachel started crying and she looked down at Nigel as he smiled and she smiled through her tears opening a piece of paper and reading from it.
"Nigel the first time I saw love was at the KND formal and I didn't have a date, I cried on the steps of my house as you walked by with a concerned look on your face when I said it was nothing but a bad day" Rachel said as Nigel's hand linked with hers.
"That wasn't enough for you because we were such good friends and you said there was something else, so I cried on your shoulder bawling telling you that I had no date for the formal and you looked shocked screaming are you completely fucking kidding me?"
Nigel smiled knowing the day she was talking about as Rachel giggled and continued her tears still streaming down.
"So you said you'd take me and I was the happiest girl at the formal, I mean going with Nigel Uno, the Nigel Uno son of Numbah 0, leader of sector V that Nigel Uno and you asked me to stop blubbering.
Nigel cracked another smile as he kissed Rachel's hands as their fingers linked together and Rachel stared into his eyes.
"That night was a blur of love to me, the only thing I do remember was Kuki and Wally were flirting once again, Hoagie and Fanny pretended they were going as mortal enemies, and you and I declared our love to anybody who would listen" Rachel said as Nigel stared into her green eyes.
The gang looked at each other giggling as they were mentioned and Wally playfully flicked Kuki's ear as she messed up his perfect blonde hair, while Fanny and Hoagie kissed each other like they were never enemies.
"After the formal you looked me in the eyes and asked if I didn't mind being your girlfriend, of course a girl like me let my kissing do the talking as you just leaned in and the moonlight glared on us like the last song we danced to that night, Dancing In The Moonlight by Van Morrison and we laughed because the song was like 50 years older than us".
"Nigel actually guffawed at this as did the gang who knew what she was talking about and Rachel all smiles finished her vows.
"You and your friends may act like doofuses squared most of the time, but their your friends and I've learned to live with that fact, just like you live with the fact that Kuki and Fanny are my friends and their have been problems with both of our friends" Rachel said as Nigel nodded cracking up now.
"Like my 21st birthday when we all came back locked and loaded and I had to be carried up the stairs, or my wedding shower where I again had to be carried up the stairs, or my bachelorete party where I once again had to be carried up the stairs, the point is I really don't handle screwdrivers too well the Vodka and orange juice always gets to me" Rachel said as the guests laughed nobody harder than Kuki and Fanny.
"But you were always there to help me up the stairs and put me to bed, and I want you to remain there doofus squared friends or no doofus squared friends, and I want to be the one to help you up the stairs one of these days".
Rachel folded the paper and stuck it back in her dress pocket as the priest looked at them with concern.
"All right do you Nigel take Rachel to be your lawfully wedded wife, to hold her and keep her, in sickness and in health, to love, promise, and obey, till death do you part?" The priest asked as Nigel stared into Rachel's eyes smiling.
"I do and let me tell you that I will probably have to help her back up the stairs after the reception preacher man" Nigel said as everybody including Rachel laughed at this.
"Do you Rachel take Nigel to be your lawfully wedded husband?, to love him and keep him, in sickness and in health, to love, promise, and obey as long as you both shall live?" The priest asked as Rachel's fingers again linked with his and she couldn't resists his eyes.
"I do and for future reference he will have to carry me up the stairs tonight, because after three screwdrivers I hit the white Russians and then I'm conked out of my mind until the next morning" Rachel said as the priest looked out over the crowd.
"If there are any objections to this wedding speak now or forever hold your peace" The priest said as it was so quiet you could hear crickets chirping if there were any in the church.
"Then by the power vested in me in the great state of Colorado I know pronounce you man and wife you may kiss the bride.
The guests cheered as Nigel lifted the veil and leaned in as Rachel met him halfway and they were kissing as rice was thrown at them.
Well that's it for part one tell me what yall think yo Cindy'sboy93