Characters:
Ecks: A moderately tall Irken (5'4) who was the previous tall Irk of the group. He has a sarcastic but exaggerated humor and enjoys 'compacting heads'. He has a soft spot, but is very envious of Satoshi's height. (yellow eyes)
Ilex: A decent sized female Irk (5'2) with a dark sense of humor. She's the 3rd most insane of the group and fights with Phiz. She loves Satoshi and is a big fan of Zim's. (purple eyes)
Jynx: A shorter female Irk at 4'2. She is the second oldest and the one who found Satoshi as a smeet and named him. She is a strong tomboy and can be rough with people. (green eyes)
Phiz: A shot Irk about Zim's size. He is a crazy gamer Irken with a high pitched voice. He loves terrorizing older Irkens. He aspires to be a techie on the Massive. (red eyes)
Chub: not much known about him. One of Irk's most insane, he is a shorter Irk at 4'7 and mumbles megalomaniacal stuff under his breath. He can be extremely obnoxious and is quite annoying. He is an Elite dropout. (red eyes)
Satoshi: Later on dubbed 'ZED', he is an extremely tall Irken around 6'3 and is the youngest of the group. He is actually PAKless, as his smeet flew up a vent and to the surface before being 'PAKulated'. His PAK, named 'ZED' doesn't attach—in fact, it is strapped on like a backpack. Because he thinks with his brain, he zones out a lot and knows a lot of gov't conspiracies. He dreads being Tallest in case found out, and has a phobia of energy-eating blobs. Because of this, he has a paranoid and stupid demeanor with an immature voice. He loves Pocky sticks. (blue eyes)
DOT3000: an intelligent SIR with a cane, monocle and pipe. He is evil and was created by Ecks and Moof. If off duty he drinks and swears. (Doomyness or Trouble?)
PLOOT: another SIR who is very friendly and outgoing. He has a bizarre fetish for bunny pellets. (People's Loving Omens of Trueness)
Moof: A Vortian who still hangs out with Ecks despite race conflicts. She loves modifying SIR units and still hangs along with this interesting group.
Tayaki: A female Meekrob who found herself in the group. She likes them, but is upset about Meekrob's invasion. She has yet to realize that "meekrob" is also a Thai dish.
OK, here's the story:
"It was a fine day when it all happened. Life on Irk was pretty normal. Smeets were being Smeeted in Smeeteries, PAKs were created, there was foodeating and the watching of TV, Tallests being eaten by energy-consuming blobs or guitar wielding aliens on Vespas—wait, scratch that. Anyway, little did they know that two Irkens from the future had come. One wanted to help a future hero that would save the Empire, another was a traitor that wanted to destroy it.
Ilex, a young Irken, came to prevent the fall of the Empire. Here she is, selling curly fries at a restaurant."
Ilex said in a shrill voice, "Curly fries are half-price, best quality! Two monies! Take some!" Irkens started lining up to buy curly fries. One of the employees walked up to her and said, "Wow, you're selling them good! Here's your salary!" Ilex saw the future hero, Satoshi, walking by. "Thank you! I wish I could sell some more, but I have to go! Bye!"
"She would follow Satoshi every day, watching him and to see if her traitorous adversary would come. Heh. I sound like a smart-ass. Anyway, the day was over, and Ilex sat in a small room to get out of her garb of mascot-y goodness." Ilex started to change out, but the film stopped and started elsewhere. "Sorry, she chased me out, so I had to stop filming her. So sorry, I know all your little Irken hearts are broken, you filthy hentai. Anyway, Ilex eventually found the traitor, Jynx, readily trying to get Satoshi into her will." "You won't get away with this!" Ilex screeched. Jynx turned around, "You keep trying to keep the Empire up. Once I get Satoshi bored of it, the Empire will fall. That's what happens to them over time, am I right?" "No! You won't! I swore my whole life and mind to Irk!" Jynx nodded, "Then that's what we'll take. Life and mind. We'll confiscate your PAK, too. Attack." Phiz walked up to her, making a pathetic snicker. "No! Don't sic the other traitors on me!" Phiz was about to attack with the spider-legs thing when he laughed, genuinely. "HAHAHA, ohh, man, so hard to look at you when you have all those stupid ribbons on—oh. Sorry. Sorry Ilex. But I'm going to have to kill you." He used his spider leg to toss her in a cardboard box cage. Satoshi runs up and blasts it. "Are you okay?" Ilex nodded and fell comatose.
"Well, any NORMAL Irken would call a patrol or space police, or even dream police. But nooo, not him. He thinks he can do it because he's tall, and takes the poor Irken to his place. HEY, where the hell do you think you're going, you silly bastard? Anyway, at a restaurant on Foodcourtia, he went to the back lounge and tried to wake her up. What's this!? Is he trying to kiss her? How unrealistic—no, seriously, Satoshi…I don't care how tall you are, if you stick your face any closer to hers, Ecks the cameraman will rip your antennae off…that's better. Now that our heroine has awoken, she can now defeat the evil traitor…"
"Fast forward it." A voice said. "To the end."
"And uh,…" Ilex moved forward to see an electronic notepad, "You will not underestimate the super-powers! I haven't come all this way for nothing." Jynx gave a nod, "So you haven't." The meekrob on her shoulder, in the guise of an earthworm, said, "Honestly, can we cut the banter? I really—" the film shook and an accusing finger could be seen on screen, "Taiyaki! Shut up!" "—and honestly, can't you just blast her with that weird technology you've got—" Jynx slapped it in the face. "No, you didn't hear the earthworm talk. Let us proceed." She took out a gun. Powers—actually minor explosives, went off around Ilex as she screamed. A Vortian came on screen, "What the hell is this? Come on, Ilex, you can do it!" A frylord slammed open the door to a restaurant, "HEY! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THI—"
"We're sorry. After the constant bellowing rage of a frylord for the explosives, Ilex won the battle and gave Satoshi a biiiiiiigg hug at the end. I hate sappy stories like this. Fin. Finally."
The bored group of aliens watched their small video. "And we have to show this video on PROBING DAY?" asked Ecks, clearly unhappy with the work. Moof, the Vortian, rolled her eyes, though naturally you couldn't see it. "Well that was the best effects I could do for a crappy video like that." Phiz jumped up, "Shut up This vide is gonna win us 200 MONIES!" His colleagues groaned in annoyance.