Disclaimer: I only own Kitsune, and I have permission to use Yazani.
Chapter 1: Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun
"Kitsune-Chan! Time to wake up! You have that mission today!" an overly cheerful voice called from downstairs.
The girl in question rose from bed like a zombie in a bad movie, her arms first, then her torso, then her head fell into place. Her hair was a rat's nest, and her bed was no better.
After crawling out of bed, and giving her hair a brush, she threw it back into a ponytail, and came downstairs, still in the camisole and lacy underwear that she wore to bed that night.
"Uggh."
A girl wearing a blue-eyes white dragon pajama pants set eyed her with a piece of toast in her mouth. "The bear has awakened."
"I am not a bear, Mimi. Bears are cute and cuddly."
"Aww, come on, little sister, you are so cute and cuddly this early in the morning! It's a wonder you don't have a boyfriend yet."
"Having a job entitled 'assassin for the government' really does prevent me from having a social life, you know."
"You can have a boyfriend over the net."
Kitsune looked scared. "No thanks. The last thing I need is some guy who only looks good on paper."
"Then you can have a pretend online boyfriend."
"Like you and Seto Kaiba?"
Mimi got her dander up. "I will go out with him. It's only a matter of time."
"Only a matter of time until you figure out how to kidnap and hold him prisoner, like that obsessed fan of that writer in that one book."
(A/N: For those of you who don't get it, it's Misery By Stephen King. This crazy fan lady kidnaps her favorite author, and holds him prisoner, forcing him to write a book especially for her.)
"That's. Not. Funny."
"Only when I make fun of you, big sister."
A new voice rang out from the kitchen. "Kit-Chan! You really need to eat, or you're going to be late!"
The owner of the voice came out from the next room, a tall, dark-haired, fair-skinned beauty, always perfect at six in the morning.
"Good morning to you too, Nicole." Kitsune doesn't like to be nagged this early in the morning.
Nicole smiled, handed her a waffle sandwich, and gave her a hug. "Good morning, little sister. Now, go get dressed. Mekiahl called, and he said that he'd be here in fifteen."
"To stare at you. He'll be here in twenty to pick me up."
Nicole's flawless face showed hints of pink. "Cute. Now, go get ready for work."
Kitsune shrugged and went upstairs to get dressed.
Later, she came down dressed all in black, as was her traditional work attire.
Throwing on a black trench coat, she grabbed her duffle bag at the door, a bag lunch and a hug from Nicole, and a hug from Mimi.
"I'll bring back presents from Japan!" She promised.
Mekiahl was waiting for her at the door.
"You didn't say hi to Nicole." Kitsune accused.
The russian's face turned a light shade of red. "I didn't want to disturb her."
"You're just scared that you'll get all tongue-tied like last time." Kitsune sighed. "Damn it. You're the only guy who I actually give permission to date my sister, and you won't even say hi to her. You're a jerk."
Mekiahl simply got into the car, and said nothing.
Kitsune got in, shut the door, and buckled her seat belt. (A/N: Safety first, Kids!)
"….She likes you, you know."
Mekiahl sighed in exasperation. "Can we just go to work?!" He pulled out of the driveway, and they drove in silence for a moment.
"I'll bet you a doughnut that you won't ask her out by the time I get back."
Mekiahl sighed in defeat, a smile on his chiseled face. "Deal, comrade. But, it had better have cream filling."
"You got it. Same goes for me if you chicken out."
"CIA agents never 'chicken out'. We retreat for tactical reasons."
"Being a chicken does not count as a 'tactical reason'."
The conversation went on like that for the next twenty minutes as they entered their headquarters.
Then, after presenting their identification fifteen times, being retina and handprint scanned another thirty; they were allowed into the inner sanctum of the CIA building.
"WHERE ARE THEY?!"
"Boss man is angry with us." Kitsune noted. "Were we late?"
Her partner checked his watch. "No. On time."
Walking into their boss' office, they prepared themselves for some ridiculous accusation.
"NEKO! CZAR! You two were supposed to pick this file up yesterday!"
"Today's the fifth."
"No, it's the sixth!"
Kitsune checked her boss' wrist. "You're watch is a day fast."
He checked it. "It is not!"
(Insert awkward pause here)
"I'll be damned. It is."
"So…are we still in trouble?"
"For correcting me? Yes. You never correct your commanding officer."
The pair of agents groaned. This was so not fair.
"So, Commander Montero, what is this file that we were supposed to pick up?" Mekiahl asked.
"You two have a hit. In Japan."
"Tch. I knew that." Kitsune said. "And if I knew that, we can definitely move on."
Montero ground his teeth in annoyance. He knew it was a bad idea to train a teenager to be an assassin. Kitsune was reckless, cocky, and prone to mood swings. Most of them directed at him.
"Fine. Moving on. The target's name is Seto Kaiba, the sixteen-year-old CEO of Kaiba corp. and designer of the 3d holographic projector for duel monsters."
"Great. I get to kill the object of my sister's fangirl obsession. She's going to love me after this." Kitsune mumbled.
"The person who hired you is anonymous. And details on when and where and how will be delivered later. So, Kitsune leaves in one hour, Mekiahl is to stay here on surveillance. I want this to go perfectly, considering you are to get half of the money that he will graciously donate to us."
"Must be a corporate rival." Mekiahl mused.
"Must be." Kitsune grabbed her duffle bag. "I got to run by armory and equipment. I'll see you when I get back."
"Right. Have a safe trip, my little comrade."
"Ask my sister out. Or I'll find someone who will."
"Was that a challenge?"
"However you want to take it." Kitsune smiled and left the room.
Once at armory, Kitsune got her usual kid-in-a-candy-store big eyed look. "It's my favorite gun! No, wait, this is my favorite gun! Look! It's my favorite gun!"
Kitsune began holding a rocket launcher like a little girl holds her favorite dolly. "I love this gun…"
A random worker walked up to her with a suspicious look. "Who let you in here?"
"You're obviously new." Kitsune sneered. "The name's Kitsune Neko. I have a target in Japan. So I need something that will get the job done quickly and quietly. Sniper rifle with the best scope you've got, and my custom pistol with a silencer, if you don't mind, noob."
"Very funny, kid. Where's your mommy?"
"That's enough, Thomason. Give the girl what she asked for."
"Commander Richter! One of my most favorite people here!"
A tall, muscled-out guy walked up behind the smaller agent. "Only because you have to go through me to get your 'toys'."
"But-but sir…"
"She may not look it, but she is one of our top assassins. Now, stop giving the poor girl crap, and give her the guns."
Thomason looked like he was about to cry. "Yes, sir."
"So, anything new on the Sister dating front? We've got an office pool going on them."
"Mekiahl is a chicken. But I bet him a doughnut that he wouldn't ask her out. He'd do anything for a doughnut."
Later, at the airport, Kitsune got through the airport security by flashing her CIA "I'm better than you rent-a-cops" badge. There was that one guy who insisted on giving her a full body cavity search, but the whispered threat of becoming unable to have children kind of deterred him from the idea.
Once on the plane, she felt a bit more relaxed. She hated these assignments where she had to fly. Airport security is such a hassle. That and her boss was too cheap to get her first class seats. So…our little Kitsune found herself in coach.
A girl with blonde bangs and black hair came panting up the aisle, looking for her seat, which, convieniently happened to be right next to Kitsune.
"Hi." She sat down.
Kitsune glanced at her. "Hi."
"I'm glad I caught the plane. I would've had to wait for days to get the next one."
Kitsune, not one for small talk, asked, "Where are you headed?"
"Domino. I'm going to visit family. You?"
"Same. Business."
"Oh. What kind?"
"Hostile corporate takeover." She said with a straight face.
"Was that a joke?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
Shortly afterwards, the girl fell asleep, and Kitsune spent the rest of her flight in blissful silence.
But, once in Japan, Kitsune wanted off the freaking plane!
As the air of Domino washed over her, Kitsune took a deep breath, and sighed.
"Welcome home, Kitsune."
SF15: This is my second YGO story, but I've had this one in the works between Yazani and myself for about a year or two now. So, now that it is finally posted, I can share with you this wonderful story I hold dear to my heart for its humor and plot. Please read and review!