AN: This is my first attempt at writing any sort of fiction. I am completely obsessed with Bones and unexpectedly found myself writing. I am trying to get Booth and Brennan together—who isn't?? This story is from Booth's POV and will involve a case if I can keep up with all of the scientific voodoo. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy and will comment with anything that comes to your mind.
Of course, I have no rights to these characters.
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Chapter 1 - Revelations
He couldn't place his finger on it—couldn't wrap his mind around it. When had he begun to compare every woman in his life to Dr. Temperance Brennan? As he sat in the intimate surroundings of the DC Bistro with Stephanie, he found himself uncomfortably distracted. It was their second date, and she was pleasant, beautiful, and intelligent. What was the problem?
He hadn't had a significant relationship since he and Bones became partners. Tessa withdrew from their commitment and their relationship had simply dissolved. Sure, he spent some time with Cam but he doubted whether or not what they had was enough to call it significant. He knew that he made the right decision breaking it off with Cam. Regardless of their work relationship and the danger, he never really thought of Cam as a potential life partner. They had a history and a stimulating sex life, but he knew that their most recent dalliance was nothing more than a comfortable coincidence. Like Rebecca, he knew that he could slip into auto-pilot with Cam. There was no auto-pilot where Bones was concerned. He always had to be at the top of his game.
He found himself considering Stephanie as she chatted on about whatever had happened to her at work that day. She seemed excited about the topic, yet he struggled to remember anything that she was saying. Perhaps, he was at a stage in his life when he needed to focus on the work that he loved. The work that now included an unexpected but fruitful partnership with Bones.
"Bones," he muttered.
"Excuse me," Stephanie replied.
He hadn't realized that he said her name out loud. "It's nothing; I guess that I am pre-occupied with work. I'm sorry." Unfazed by the interruption, Stephanie continued with her story.
After dinner, he could tell that Stephanie was anticipating a good night kiss, and perhaps something more, but neither his heart nor his body was able to comply. He knew that he wouldn't be seeing her again.
As he pulled away from the curb to drive home, he wondered what Bones was up to that evening. She was not like other women. She was not like anyone he had ever known. She was truly unique, and more than that, she was the most honorable and truthful person he had ever met. She reminded him of him, but that was utterly ridiculous. They had nothing in common. Yet, they understood each other so well. Now that this incredible creature was in his life, every other woman just seemed kind of plain.
"Booth, get over yourself man!" he exclaimed out loud and pounded a fist on the steering wheel of his SUV. It wasn't until that moment that he realized that he had driven to the Jeffersonian. What the heck was he doing here so late on a Friday night? He was there because Bones was there. He didn't even need to verify whether or not her car was in the structure—he just knew that she was there. They didn't have a case at the moment, but she had other bones to examine as well as a new book in the works and he knew that she frequently worked late into the evening. This was not the first time that he had found himself sitting outside the Jeffersonian or her apartment. In fact, he never really felt secure going home, until he knew where she was and whether or not she was safe.
They were partners and friends. They had shared so much over the last three years. Every time that Angela claimed Bones as her "best" friend, he secretly cringed knowing that he was really her best friend. They were practically inseparable, and he found himself needing to be around her more and more as time went by. Sweets didn't know what he was talking about when he said that they never shared personal information, he had shared more with Bones than with anyone—ever! And, he suspected that the same was true for her. But Sweets was right in recognizing that they shared a deep, emotional bond.
He turned off the engine, but could not bring himself to get out of the vehicle. He just wanted to be near her. He could not go to her right now because he was out of sorts and vulnerable to emotions that he had been blocking for quite some time. What had he said to her when they were first investigating the Gormogon vault? "At least you could admit that something is wrong so that we can figure it out." Perhaps, that is what he needed to do right now—admit what he was feeling. What was he feeling? He knew what it was but he could never bring himself to think about it too carefully for fear that the intensity of his own thoughts would ruin what they already had.
He had drawn the line for Bones on more than one occasion. People in intense situations just can't get involved. There are two many strings—too many complications. It just dawned on him that he was not drawing that line for Bones but rather reminding himself over and over again. She was his partner. He had told her that she was like a man. The problem was that she was not a man. She was a woman—an incredible women. Despite what most people thought of her, she was a woman with deep, intense emotions. He had seen some of those emotions and knew that there was so much more brewing under the surface.
"Give it time," He thought aloud, "Everything happens in time." He smirked to himself remembering when he had said those words to Bones. He had never been more relieved in his life than the day that Sully sailed away leaving Bones with him. It had nearly killed him to encourage her to go, but he did not want to interfere with her decision-making process having already established an invisible line between them. Why had she stayed? Was it because of him? Gordon Gordon said 'no,' but it seared his soul not to know for sure—not that it would make any difference.
"I love her." Even as he heard himself say the words, he couldn't quite classify what they meant. Of course, he loved her. They were very close friends. More importantly, they were partners dedicated to the pursuit of truth and justice. Still, there was something else growing between them. Each time he took her in his arms, he felt a closeness that could not be measured. He cherished those moments. He was her protector, and he loved that role. She was special and surprisingly fragile despite her tough exterior and ability to flatten most men. He had long since claimed the responsibility of keeping her safe. He secretly regarded himself as her spiritual mentor. He knew that she scoffed at such things, but he also knew that she was a deeply spiritual person even though she hid it under all of that techno-babble and science. She was special and he loved her dearly.
"Ok Bub, time to admit it to yourself. You love this woman. She is more than a friend and more than a partner and she has meant more to you for a while now." Terrific, he thought as he gave in to his feelings. Not that it mattered much since he was sitting in his car alone in the middle of the night. The fact was that even though he could finally admit it to himself, he felt helpless. This was neither a familiar nor a comfortable feeling for Agent Seeley Booth. He was never helpless. He was a strong and fearless soldier (she had called him a warrior). Instead of being elated by the revelation, these feelings made him feel small and alone. How the hell was he going to be able to deal with this?
It would be selfish of him to pounce on her with his growing realization. She has been through so much and she is finally coming to terms with her own life. He knew better than to rush her on issues that could not be measured or examined in a Petri dish. How could he introduce an emotional conundrum to the woman who guarded her emotions so well? Even worse, what if she did not feel the same way? He would be crushed—he would rather not know.
Still, there were definitely signs that she felt something for him. There were so many moments when those beautiful eyes had not merely acknowledged his existence or responded to a comment, but had peered right through him even and implored him to understand what was not being said. He knew that he was not reading something that was not there. He was an expert at interrogation and understood people. He knew that there was something rattling around that genius brain of hers—something that touched him deeply.
For one thing, she did not sail away with Sully even though they appeared to have a good thing going. For another, she was so mad at his 'pretend' funeral. He could not help but smile as he absent mindedly lifted his hand to his jaw reliving the "passion" of that moment. Yea, she was angry, but wasn't there something else? She had burst into his bathroom that day. She seemed uncharacteristically irrational and he had to admit it was cute on her. He should have called her. In fact, he wanted to call her. He missed her those two weeks, but he was under lock down and had a duty to perform. Yet, she had not cried at the funeral. In fact, she said that it was a waste of time. But he knew, or rather he convinced himself that she couldn't "compartmentalize" his loss so easily.
He was jerked back to reality as he saw her pull her car out of the parking structure and turn towards her apartment. He held his breath for a moment. He was going to have to deal with this somehow. He was not the kind of guy who let things like this stand.