A/N: This is the sequel to my story Dirty Little Secret. In this Holly and Toby are married after she had cheated on Michael. This time the chapters will be much longer. Thanks for reading.
Holly just got back from the doctor's and couldn't believe what he had said. Pregnant! This was too good to be true! She and her husband Toby had been trying for over two years and now she could tell him the good news. She had suspected that she was for about two weeks but she didn't want to say anything to Toby until she found out for sure. It would be unfair to him to get his hopes up after everything they'd been through to be together. It had definitely been a long road, but it was worth it for her, Toby, Sasha, and now their little one to be a family. A happy one at that.
"Honey, are you home?" Toby called out, noticing the door was unlocked.
"Yes baby, I'm in the other room. You'd better sit down." Holly walked quickly to the kitchen where her husband was pouring himself a glass of milk.
"What's wrong? How did your doctor's visit go? Is your iron still low? Did they check your lead level? I knew we should have had the lead levels in this house tested," he looked at the walls. "Maybe it's time to re-paint."
"Baby look at me," Holly ordered. "I don't care about the paint. Not right now. I care about you and the baby."
"Baby-what baby?"
"You remember the day Michael went to the conference and we left two hours early?" she smiled.
Toby nodded, remembering a not so productive day at the office but a very productive one in the bedroom.
"Well our numbers are about to increase by one around in our house," she smiled at him.
It began to sink in what she was saying. "You mean…"
Holly nodded. "We're having a baby."
Toby didn't get excited often, but this would be one of those rare occasions he would always remember. It wasn't like when Kathy told him she was pregnant, and he had to marry her. No, this time there was no doubt that he was having a baby for all the right reasons-with a woman who loved him as much as he loved her.
"Are you sure?"
"The doctor confirmed it. I'm almost two months, which is when Michael went to the conference. Not that we haven't been trying," Holly grinned. "Not that we have to stop, either."
Toby looked at her. "Are you suggesting what I think you are?" he laughed.
"Are you getting shy on me?"
"Me, shy?" he laughed again. "You must have me confused with somebody else." He took her hand and led her upstairs, where they started to replay the events of two months ago all over again.
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His breathing labored as he pushed further inside of her, mindful of the new life inside of his wife. This time that they were making love was different; it had taken on a new intensity yet at the same time Holly had the feeling Toby was holding back. As she writhed underneath him, he carefully controlled his movements, showing restraint that had been the opposite of what she was used to.
"Oh Toby," she cried out, with a tone he didn't recognize. " The way she said his name made him feel almost the way Michael did-small and belittled. It was humiliating. But it was too late to stop. He kept going, looking over Holly's shoulder, for what seemed like an eternity ( at least to Holly); finally he got his desired results. Rolling over, he didn't even kiss his wife goodnight. There was no point. There really wasn't much to be thankful for at that moment. The silence was louder than any words they could have spoken.
Toby kept telling himself what a failure he was. That was the first time he had disappointed his wife. This wife anyhow. He'd gotten used to Kathy directing him in the bedroom. Faster. Harder. Not there. Over there. Never mind. Just forget it. But not with Holly. She made him feel like he could do anything, and now he had let her down.
The worst part was that he didn't know what he had done wrong. He was trying to protect her, keep her and the baby safe, the way a man should. Too many times in his life he had been been made to feel like he wasn't a real man and for the past few years he felt like he could do anything.
Well almost anything. For two years he and Holly had been trying to conceive, and when they hadn't, he suspected the problem was with him . It usually was. It was hard to feel like a man when he couldn't give his wife the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world. But to Holly's credit she hadn't said anything to make him feel like anything less than the husband she wanted. She seemed proud of him and vowed they would never give up. If she believed in him he owed it to her to do the same. That's the least he could do for the woman who had given him everything he had ever wanted. And then some.