"Sirius, this is absolute madness," Remus groaned, unwittingly privy to what he deemed to be the Marauders' next greatest disaster.
Their Charms lesson had finished half an hour early that day, because of the fact that their Professor was the Head of Ravenclaw house and later in the evening the Ravenclaw Quidditch trials would take place. Naturally, James and Sirius had immediately elected to use the time to cause a bit of havoc. At least, that was what they hoped would happen. The previous day they had come across a page torn out of a library book. It was evidently a potion, but the nature of the potion was a mystery and so they had taken it upon themselves to establish exactly what it was.
"It might be something never before seen," James had said, a look of pure excitement on his face.
Peter had disagreed, pointing out that if that were the case it wouldn't have come from a library book.
Remus concurred, figuring that such an obvious conclusion would prevent events, such as those which went on to happen, from happening.
Instead, Sirius had decided they should make it and see what it was, "It might be a sign," he had said, before voicing several wild theories which might account for this mysterious potion's presence in their lives.
"What if it gives us a look into the future?" he had suggested first, staring wistfully into the distance as though he had an insight into his future already.
"Naw," James disagreed, shaking his head emphatically, "You can get that in Divination, it isn't anything new. It could show us the past, though, that might be quite fun."
Sirius barked a laugh, "Oh, that would be incredible. I'd kill to relive the moment we shrank Remus and Peter's trousers, that was one of the best we've pulled on you two," he said, indicating the other two.
The four of them had laughed, then, though the memory of it still brought a flush to Remus' face. It had been back in their second year, when they'd grown quite accustomed to one another, and both Remus and Peter knew better than to expect an uneventful day where their friends were concerned. Of course, neither of them had expected to be the butt of the jokes that morning;
Remus had awoken first, and had been in the shower when the others had woken up. He'd left his clothes on the hanger beside the mirror, as he always did, and spent a good half an hour enjoying the cosy warmth which the instantly-hot water provided at Hogwarts. As he was getting dried, he heard the dulcet tones of his roommates, and he hurried to get dressed and return to the room before any of his things were hexed (they had gone through a phase of cursing one another's pillow, when they were out of the room). His dressing had gone without incident, despite his haste, until he had come to pull his trousers on. He was sure they hadn't been that small when he'd worn them the day before, but try as he might, the more he tried to pull them up the smaller they had become. Eventually, he had given up and wrapped his towel back around himself before leaving the bathroom. He spotted a disgruntled Peter holding up his own trousers, and instantly figured that he had been pranked. The laughter emitting from both James and Sirius had only confirmed his theory, and he had shaken his head in exasperation. It was funny, because he hadn't expected it, and because it was harmless. Well, that was what he had figured until Sirius had sent a spell his way and caused his towel to drop. Then he'd had to do an awkward shuffle back to his bed, barely shielding his crotch with his hand as he fought to find another pair of trousers. It didn't help that he had chosen to wear his low-rising briefs rather than his boxers, that day. But of course, once dressed he had found it almost as funny as the others had.
"Or it might be a complete waste of time," Remus had pointed out, bringing them out of their reverie.
Despite his misgivings, four hours later he was standing with Sirius, James and Peter in a deserted classroom, looking into a boiling cauldron pot.
"Of course it's madness," Sirius replied, grinning proudly, "Why else would we be trying this?"
James nodded in agreement, patting the tallest member of the group on the back, "Relax, Remus. Nothing we've done has ever resulted in disaster, yet."
"Well, unless you c-"
Peter's argument was silenced with a dismissive wave.
"Let's just work on getting these ingredients prepared, and then we'll have ourselves a ready potion," James finished, continuing to finely slice the boomslang skin.
Exhaling, Remus begrudgingly picked up the Ophioglossum and began brushing it down to remove the small spikes from its centre.
Sirius, meanwhile, continued to stir the cauldron pot clockwise, before tapping the side and turning up the heat. Then he added seven and a half drops of Horklump juice, and stirred anti-clockwise.
"Okay," he said after a minute, "I just need to add the dragon horn with the Niffler's fancy, simultaneously or it all goes to shit, then the Nux Myristica and it has to be left for ninety-two minutes."
"Ninety-two minutes?" James cried, before exhaling dramatically, "Are you sure it isn't ninety-two minutes and thirteen point five seconds?" he chuckled, rolling his eyes, "Do you mind if I go and check out the Ravenclaws training whilst we wait? It'll be useful if I can see what to expect when my team goes up against them next month."
Sirius shrugged, "There's nothing to be done here, so I don't see why not. We can't all go, though," he added, when Peter began to follow James, "because it needs watching."
Peter hesitated, before nodding in Remus' direction, "Are you staying?"
Remus dedicated a moment to considering; he could stay there with Sirius, looking into a cauldron pot as though he wasn't worried about what would happen once it had finished, or he could go and leave Sirius on his own, coincidentally ending up on his own, too, because he wasn't going to sit and watch Quidditch trials.
"I'll stay," he decided, offering a fleeting smile at Sirius. Peter took this as his permission to go, and hurried after James, shouting something over his shoulder about making sure to be back within the time.
Once alone, it was several minutes before either Remus or Sirius moved from their spot; Sirius, perched on the desk beside the bubbling pot, and Remus, stood at a table with two small tubes of Octopus powder and pearl dust.
"What shall we do, for the next hour?" Sirius asked, carelessly pushing himself up from the desk into an upright standing position.
Remus shrugged, tearing his gaze away from the door where both of their bags sat; his with a half-completed potions assignment which he would benefit from getting on with, and Sirius' with plenty more besides.
Sighing, Sirius chose to sit on the table beside his friend, "You can go, if you want," he said, mistaking Remus' look towards the door for a desire to leave.
Remus shook his head, "I don't want to go."
Their eyes met, then, and Sirius opened his mouth to say something. He stopped himself, though, instead reaching to move a stray piece of Remus' hair back into place.
"Sorry," he said, though he didn't take his hand back for another few seconds.
A small frown burrowed itself into Remus' brow, and he cleared his throat, "It's fine. I-"
"No," Sirius interjected, and the corner of his lips turned up into a slight grin, "I think I've just put slime in your hair."
Remus jumped up from his seat, and marched over to their bubbling cauldron pot. The reflective sides of it provided a decent mirror for him, as he crouched to look at his hair. Sure enough, there was a clear strand of what could be mistaken for muggle hair gel, along the front of his fringe.
"For Pete's sake," he grumbled, making his way over to the sink at the side of the room, besides which stood a pile of, apparently, frozen vials. He took several moments to pull at the hair, wetting his hand before trying again to wash it out.
"I'm sorry," Sirius said again, though the peals of his laughter gave away the insincerity of his apology.
Remus rolled his eyes, and turned to face the offender, "Asshole. How does it look?"
Considering him for a moment, Sirius managed a straight face for only a matter of seconds before he continued to laugh, "Now, you just look wet," he admitted, getting up from his position to go and check on the potion. He turned his back to Remus, who could still see his friend's shoulders shaking with amusement.
Gritting his teeth, Remus continued to pat down his damp hair with the sleeve of his jumper, rolling his eyes as he watched his companion.
"Oh shit," Sirius muttered suddenly, picking up the potions instructions and looking at them carefully.
Remus rushed over, his slimy, wet hair forgotten, and peered over his friend's shoulder, "What? What've we done wrong?"
Sirius shook his head, "It's thirty-two minutes, not ninety-two."
"Are you sure?" Remus responded, squinting to try and decipher which step he was supposed to be looking at.
"Of course I'm bloody sure," Sirius snapped, "Something's stuck to the page, making it look like a nine."
Sighing, Remus returned to the table of ingredients, and selected the final two.
"Does that mean these should already be in?" he asked, addressing Sirius as opposed to trying to calculate the steps for himself.
Sirius nodded, taking the vial of pearl dust and pouring it into the cauldron. He turned the heat down as he did so, stirring only twice before he turned for the second vial.
"This is it, Moony," he said, a smile once again brightening his face, "We could have made the next atomic bo-"
"Don't say that. Merlin. Just put this in and then we can get the hell out of here."
Chuckling, Sirius counted to five in an undertone and tipped in the Octopus powder. He reached below to turn up the heat, grinning devilishly as the contents of the cauldron turned to display a mother-of-pearl sheen on its surface.
"It looks like it's done," Sirius announced, as the steam emitted from the pot, "I'll take it off the heat and then we-"
He stopped talking as a single bubble popped upon the surface, followed by another.
Remus looked between the pot and his friend, "Don't stand there looking, turn it o-"
But it was too late.
The contents of the cauldron pot bubbled over, and its pearly contents began crawling down the sides of the table. The oozing fluid got into the drawers of the table, into the cracks of the floor and, much to Sirius' dismay, into the crevasses of their shoes and robes.
"What a bloody waste of time that was," Sirius grunted, taking the pot from the heat and dumping it on the side. The little amount which was left in the pot had begun to settle back down, forming a small smooth layer at the bottom.
Remus smiled, "Not really. At least we know the potion wasn't anything too exciting; it doesn't smell, it doesn't burn or explode. It just boils, and wastes."
Sirius huffed begrudgingly, before picking up some of the utensils he had used.
"Oh well. I suppose we'd better get this cleared up; see if we can get back upstairs before Prongs turns up and sees the mess. I'll take a vial of it-" he began, raising his hands defensively as he noted Remus' disapproving look, "Just so he can see it. It might not be completely useless, we haven't tasted it yet."
Without a word, he headed over to the sink with the utensils, trying to avoid dripping any more of the liquid onto himself.
Remus shook his head, "Just leave it. It could grow from the vial and kill us in our sleep," he suggested quietly.
"Did you say something?" Sirius called, glancing fleetingly over his shoulder from his position at the sink.
Remus turned in surprise, "Sorry, I thought you were still behind me. I could- Nevermind." He stopped short, preventing himself from saying he thought he could feel Sirius behind him. Or at the very least, smell his presence.
He could, he was sure. It was the unmistakable dash of tobacco, which Sirius was insistent upon keeping with him because it made him look cool, combined with the peach shampoo which he never admits belongs to him. Oh, and there was the spot of firewhiskey which he sometimes thieves from the kitchens downstairs.
"Moony, are you okay? You look a bit dumbfounded," Sirius asked, staring across the room with a look of profound concern.
"No, no. I'm good," Remus replied, shaking his head. He wasn't quite sure what was going on with his senses, but it was certainly nothing to air to Sirius.
"Come on then, let's get back upstairs."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"What do you mean, you blew it up?" James roared. He had been stood on his bed when the two poitioneers had returned, demonstrating something to do with Quidditch for Peter's entertainment, "There's time for it to brew, yet!"
Remus sighed. He had figured they should expect a response like this, after all it was they who had stayed to ensure the potion had been done correctly. Then again, James could just have easily taken control of the task; he was, after all, just as good at it as Sirius was.
The same thought appeared to have occurred to Sirius, who merely shrugged in the face of his friend's displeasure.
"I misread the instructions," he began, continuing as James sought to interject in frustration, "I'll tell you what; next time, do it yourself," he retorted, turning to clear the mess on his bed and offering no other word on the subject.
James tutted. He hated when Sirius was being melodramatic. Of course, realistically it didn't matter that much, it was just a potion. In fact, James' grievance was mostly himself because he hadn't been there at the end of the brewing, and he had wanted to be. But really, it wasn't worth not speaking for twelve hours over. That was only what would happen if they didn't make amends now.
Jumping down from his bed with a thud, James strolled over to the bed furthest away at which Sirius had begun trying to find pairs for odd socks.
"You're right. And it obviously wasn't that useful a potion, because you're both back in one piece – not that I'm suggesting I'd rather have you otherwise," he added, catching sight of his friend's indignation.
Sirius cracked a smile, "Yeah, sorry we've come back with all our limbs and eyebrows," he laughed.
And just like that, their quarrel was over.
"It was pretty uninteresting, though," Remus piped up, finally moving from the door as he realised he wouldn't have to escape his two acquaintances' bickering, "Turned a pearly colour, and it didn't really smell."
Sirius turned around, a frown furrowed upon his brow.
"Didn't smell?" he asked, looking uncertain, "It was intoxicating; smelled like old books and cocoa. What are you talking about?"
Remus shook his head, "No it didn't," he replied, dumbfounded, "I think I can smell it now. For some reason, it's a lot stronger, actually. Firewhiskey and peach, if I'm not mistaken." He put his nose to his clothes, and a small smile broke across his face as he added, "Oh, it's probably still on my clothes. That's why."
James and Peter, who had been looking back and forth between their two companions in confusion, walked over to Remus at that, and stuck their faces at each side of him.
"Um, thanks guys," he muttered, rolling his eyes helplessly as James' nose prodded his shoulder, and Peter's hands gripped his arm as he sniffed it.
James shook his head, "Naw, I don't smell anything different. To be honest, you just smell like Sirius. A consequence of being under the cloak, I imagine, and the fact he never showers – ouch."
He stopped speaking to laugh, catching the socks which Sirius had thrown at his head.
"Anyway," Sirius said, reaching up to catch the clothing which was being thrown back at him, "There's no need to guess. I brought a vial back."
Remus groaned, "Padfoot! You said you wouldn't!"
"No, I didn't," he countered, shaking his head as he withdrew the small vial from his chest pocket, "You said I wouldn't. That's not the same thing at all."
Huffing, Remus watched as the other three gathered for the removal of the stopper. Curiosity got the better of him, though, and just as Sirius removed the cork, Remus had joined them.
"There," Sirius announced, holding out the vial so the steam could waft, "Old books and cocoa."
He stood waiting for the others' agreement, and became quite confused when it did not come.
James remained poised with a look of complete wonder, whilst Peter remained looking completely bewildered.
"That doesn't smell of anything," the latter declared, glancing between the two potioneers as though he believed himself to be part of some elaborate prank.
James shook his head emphatically, "That's bollocks, Wormtail. Padfoot, you're holding a vial of coconut limes. How is that not abundantly clear?"
Remus looked pained. Until then, he had been sure that there was nothing worth retaining about the potion. Now he wasn't so sure. To him, it simply magnified the aroma of their dorm; the now-intoxicating smell of tobacco and peach, with a hint of firewhiskey. Even as he looked around the room in uncertainty, he noted the discarded cork of a firewhiskey bottle, lying amidst the mess on Sirius' bed. He was almost in agreement with Peter; it didn't smell, it just magnified what was already around him.
Where James' coconut theory came in, he had no idea.
"Potter, you chat shit," Sirius declared, "That is the singularly most exotic cocoa I have ever smelled."
"You idiot," James replied, shaking his head in exasperation, "That's just because Moony's bed is right there."
"Moony wasn't in bed when we brewed the potion though, was he? Even then, back in the classroom, it was unmistakable."
"No, no, I agree with James," Remus concurred, finally speaking aloud, "I think it just magnifies whatever's around you at the time."
"What use is that?" Peter whined, wondering why they had bothered with such a waste of time.
Neither Marauder could offer a response to that. As they reflected, it just seemed completely pointless, and even James – who was quite positive he could smell coconut and lime – didn't think too much of it.
Shrugging, Sirius recorked the vial and put it in a drawer beside his bed. He wasn't sure why he wanted to keep hold of it, really, but he was curious and nothing the others could say would encourage him to pour it down the sink.
Instead, they proceeded to make their beds – or rather, Remus made his bed, then he made Peter's whilst Sirius tried to find his bed beneath his collection of clothing and discarded junk, and James merely paced, thinking audibly about the Ravenclaw trials he had watched and what it might mean for the coming year of Quidditch.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"I'm pretty sure old Slughorn wouldn't notice if we just ditched," Sirius pointed out, looking between his three friends and their new addition – Lily, "It's not like we do anything but prat about anyway. We can do that anywhere."
Lily gave a huff of indignation, and hastened her pace to put herself a few steps ahead of her male companions. She wouldn't hear of such talk, and would certainly never condone it.
Ever since the end of last term, when there had been a public disagreement between herself and her then-friend, Severus Snape, Lily had been spending slightly more time in the company of the four Marauders. Though she was reluctant to admit it, they weren't as bad as she had spent over four years believing. In fact, she got on quite well with Remus and Sirius in particular. They could be studious, and stupid, but they made her laugh when she needed it, and she appreciated that. Of course, the fact that Remus was also a prefect had helped her to get to know him, at least. James, though, made it difficult for her to feel completely relaxed around him, what with all his flirtatious quips and frequent proposals, whilst Peter just never seemed to say enough.
The four of them watched her go, and James picked up his pace to follow her attentively.
"In a class of twenty, he'd notice if three of us were missing," Remus pointed out, referring to himself, James and Sirius.
Peter hadn't been accepted into the NEWT Potions class, and so he would turn right to go to History of Magic, as the other Marauders turned left down to the dungeons for their class.
Sirius shrugged, "He might not. Besides," he added, "It'd mean I wouldn't have to listen to him going on about my precious cousins, and how unlike them I am."
Remus smiled slightly, and bade a brief farewell to Peter before addressing Sirius, "It's a NEWT class, Padfoot," be began in an undertone; Lily was unaccustomed to the animagi nature of her new acquaintances, and Remus was loath to point it out since it would mean revealing his own condition, "I'm barely keeping up as it is. As for Slughorn," he went on, sighing slightly, "I'm sorry he's such an ignorant ass, but you know he's wrong, don't you?"
"Do I?" Sirius retorted, bitterly, "I've heard that kind of crap enough, and it does begin make me wonder sometimes. It's-"
"Stop it," Remus chastened, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder, causing him to stop walking, "It's bullshit and you damn well know it. Look at me," he demanded, as Sirius had begun to look at their shoes, "He's an old man, who doesn't see much further than the glass of alcohol in his hand. He's not worth listening to, and certainly not worth getting wound up over."
Sirius had to chuckle slightly; hearing Remus critique a professor was a rare occurrence, and quite uncharacteristic. As such, he found he appreciated it all the more.
"You might be right. But he-"
"No buts. I am right. Sirius Black, you're an amazing wizard, and an even better friend. The burgundy and gold you don around your neck is demonstrative of your magical prowess and downright amazingness. You're brave and caring, courteous and trustworthy, and-"
"-incredibly sexy?"
Remus muttered something inaudible, "And late for class. Come on, you asshole," he finished, with a bright grin.
They had fallen quite far behind, it seemed, for Lily and James were no longer visible down the corridor.
"-incredibly difficult," they heard Slughorn saying as they entered the room quietly, "It also happens to be one of the most dangerous potions around, but for the sake of the examination I'm going to take you through the steps of the potion so you're able to at the very least understand what goes into it. Gather round, if you please."
Sirius and Remus dropped their bags at the nearest desk, and headed over to join the rest of their classmates.
Remus' eyes met James', who looked quite puzzled at his two friends' delay in getting to class. He clearly hadn't realised just how far behind they had fallen. They smiled at each other, fleetingly, before Remus turned his attention to Professor Slughorn.
"We begin with the water and the Horklump juice," he said, writing out the quantities on the board, "And finely sliced boomslang skin. Spikes of the Ophioglossum are to be added periodically, whilst the pot is being stirred clockwise."
To no one's surprise, Severus Snape was carrying out the practical as Slughorn went through the steps. It was one of the few, undisputed, things that Severus was good at.
Sirius turned to Remus, who returned his gaze questionably, "This is our potion," he murmured, "I'm almost sure of it."
Remus frowned, and turned his attention back to the front. Now, more than ever, he wanted to make sure he listened attentively.
"Then we tap the side, and turn up the heat," Slughorn went on, peering over to see Severus doing exactly that, "It's vitally important that the side is tapped then, for it prevents the Ophioglossum from regenerating in the pot."
Sirius was practically jumping up and down beside his companion, "This is ours," he kept hissing under his breath. Several students, James among them, cast Sirius a varying degree of annoyed and uncertain looks. Ignoring them, Sirius tried to convey the fact that this was their potion, across the room to James. Whether his recipient got the message, or not, he wasn't sure.
"At this point, we – here you go Snape," the professor went on, passing a vial across to his model student, "We add seven and a half drops of Horklump juice, and begin stirring anti-clockwise. The Horklump juice dictates the motion of the stirring, as you may have recognised at the beginning."
He paused again to write up the quantities on the board.
"Hmm. Well, we should be adding dragon horn and a Niffler's fancy, here, together."
Several students looked up at him in confused; what did he mean, they 'should'?
"No matter. Stop where you are, Severus," Slughorn conveyed, reaching around to turn off the heat completely, "I was sure we had enough dragon horn for this, but I must have been mistaken. There isn't any in my supply cupboard, now. Never mind. I'll get the measurements written up, and bring out the one I prepared earlier."
The class dispersed, as students retook their seats.
"Since when did we finish the stock?" Remus murmured under his breath, anxiously, "He's going to remember that he did have enough, that someone's-"
"Remus, shut up," Sirius interjected, not unkindly, "He'll never guess it was us. As you said, he doesn't see anything beyond his glass of alcohol."
Remus smiled sheepishly. He had said that, and he had believed it. It was a matter of undisputable fact.
"Here we go," Slughorn said, handing Severus a cauldron of steaming liquid, "Stay stood there, that's a good lad. Now, I told you all the name of the potion – Amortentia – but I didn't tell you what it was for. Severus, would you mind telling the class what it is the pot smells of?"
Snape, seeing no problem with doing so, confidently declared that the steam smelled of coconut lime.
Slughorn clapped to himself, chuckling fondly, "How curious. Curious."
Remus looked fleetingly at James, wondering if he had perhaps been correct in his estimation the previous night.
"You're right to look confused there, Lupus," Slughorn crooned, nodding in Remus' direction, "I imagine you smell something quite different? Then again, you might not. There may be several amongst you who share the same aroma as young Snape, here."
Remus nodded, "I always- I mean, I thought it was tobacco and peach, perhaps some firewhiskey. But, I don't understand, Sir."
The students replicated their classmate's confusion, and were now just a sea of bewilderment and uncertainty.
"Okay," Slughorn announced, looking away from Remus as he finally got to his big reveal, "That's because this potion is a love potion. No, no," he shook his head at a couple of questioning looks, "It does not create love, merely indicates and emphasises the existing feelings. Thus, the aroma you smell belongs to the person to whom you are attracted."
The shift in the class was instantaneous. A couple of students were visibly trying to get closer to the potion, whilst others were trying to get as far from it as they could. Lily slipped her favourite chocolate lime sweets back into her bag, her skin the same colour as her hair as she avoided eye contact with everyone in her vicinity. James looked thunderous, refusing to accept that his nemesis would still dare to possess feelings for the girl he himself adored.
Remus, meanwhile, was just as unnerved by this revelation as Lily appeared to be. It made sense, he reasoned, why he hadn't initially thought the potion had an aroma at all. On the three occasions he had smelled it, the person had been beside him. In the classroom, in the dormitory, and now…
He looked to his left, where Sirius had been sat, expecting to see his friend puzzling things out in his mind, and found the seat empty. Remus glanced around the classroom, but the potion was confusing him. He could smell Sirius, but it wasn't Sirius. He wasn't there.
Where had he gone?
Remus remained where he sat, looking about himself in uncertainty. His friend's bag was still on the floor where it had been since they had both dropped them upon entering, but his stool had been pushed out, and remained turned away slightly.
There was only one thing for it. Leaving his own bag, Remus stood up and raised his hand.
"Yes, Lupus?" Slughorn responded after several minutes of completely missing Remus' hand, "What is it?"
"Sorry Sir," Remus began slowly, "Do you mind if I visit the bathroom?" he asked politely. He had begun to grow increasingly anxious, and wanted nothing more than to go and find Sirius.
"You may," Slughorn replied, a bulging smile upon his face, "Take all the time you need, I fear Black might need it."
Remus swallowed, and decided not to wait and puzzle over the implications of what his teacher had just said, instead he simply turned and left the room through the door he had come through barely an hour before.
Once he had left the classroom, the enormity of his task dawned on him.
He had a seven-floor castle to search for his friend, whom he had just announced to their entire NEWT class he had some sort of infatuation with. Not only that, but judging by Sirius' comments yesterday, it might not be wholly one-sided.
Nothing about their approaching conversation was going to be easy, Remus reasoned. Not least because he had never told his friends of his sexuality. This was something he considered as he walked back along the corridor he had followed to reach his class earlier. Why hadn't he told them? Firstly, he figured, it was because it simply didn't concern them. He hadn't aspired to date during his time at Hogwarts, so there was no reason to point it out. Even when he realised that what he had felt for Sirius was more than a typical friendship, he had sat on his feelings. It was hard to do for a couple of years, but once he had developed into more of a man than a child he found it less obstructive for him. Every time he was in the dormitory and Sirius was lounging about on top of him, he gradually grew more and more comfortable accepting that he had a fantastic friend. That was where the line would be drawn. Each time he awoke in hospital after transforming back from the full moon, and Sirius' was the first face he saw, he played down the grin which threatened to engulf his entire face. He even managed to get used to Sirius sorting his hair if it had moved out of place, without thinking anything of it. He simply grew comfortable with Sirius being his friend because, as he had once decided after a particularly tearful night, he was better having Sirius as a friend, and compressing any untoward feelings he had, than having no Sirius at all because he had aired his emotions. After he realised that, it was easy.
But of course, that might have just changed for him. It certainly concerned Sirius now at the very least, he mused, sighing.
"Oh," he said in surprise, taking a step back, "There you are," he sighed in relief. He had begun to give up on finding his friend, and had started to consider returning to their dormitory for the Marauder's Map when he rounded a corner and almost tripped over the figure of a boy, sat on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest. His mind had been so far away, that he hadn't noticed the figure there before him as he walked.
Sirius looked up, a vacant expression upon his face as though he had forgotten who Remus was for a second. Comprehension steadily began to creep into his face, and he pushed back against the wall to enable himself to stand up. It was bad enough being smaller than Remus, he had often found, but being sat on the floor beside him just made Sirius uncomfortable. Especially at that moment.
"Hi," Sirius said quietly, meeting his friend's gaze with a fleeting glance. It was then that Remus noted the unshed tears.
"Oh Sirius," he crooned, putting a hand against his companion, "Merlin, you're stone cold," he noted with horror, "Come back up to the common room with me. We can sit by the fire and talk."
Sirius swallowed, notably, and shuffled out of Remus' reach, "Go on," he mumbled, "I'll follow."
Remus lowered his gaze, frowning. He appeared to open his mouth in order to say something else, but thought better of it. Instead, he turned on his heel without a word, and headed towards the eastern staircase. Sirius followed a few paces behind, shuffling his feet slightly against the wooden flooring. He was at a bit of a loss with himself, and his nails were subconsciously nipping into the skin on his palm as he sought to bring himself back into full awareness. He couldn't decide what to say, or what to think. He didn't even know how he ought to feel, truthfully, having grown accustomed to concealing and playing down his emotions since the moment he learned to talk. Living in his family home had been painstaking for Sirius, most especially as he had grown older. To begin with, it was manageable. The odd belting here and there for not playing nicely with his brother, and for not cleaning his room. He learned to change his ways, and soon the beatings were fewer in number. Then, after he had been sorted into Gryffindor, the holidays meant that the beatings increased again. He would get it for having not set out the food correctly when it was his turn, or for having not achieved a top grade in one of his lessons. Again though, he found that was rectifiable, he could learn from that and change his ways accordingly. But then he had been caught one night with a muggle boy called Aiden Greene. It had been just hours after his parents had talked to him about his loyalties, and about the fact that being in Gryffindor didn't prevent him from becoming a respectable Death Eater. He had stormed out, headed into the first bar he crossed and ended up in the arms of a muggle. It had been pleasurable, and he had found his first kiss to be far more thrilling than he had ever imagined it could have been. That was until he had looked up and met the eyes of his father outside of the window. That night, he faced the worst punishment he had ever experienced. It was immensely dreadful. In fact, it had taken him two days to be able to walk again. His parents had strived to make sure he wouldn't forget it. And he hadn't.
"You can sit down, you know," Remus said, his voice piercing Sirius' memory and dragging him out of his reverie.
They had reached the common room without Sirius realising, and he now stood poised and facing his friend, who had already settled himself into a chair. How long he had been stood aimlessly, he wasn't certain, but he sat down after Remus' prompt; rigid, on the edge of his seat.
"I'm sorry for vanishing from class like that," Sirius said, after a moment of the two of them simply observing the fire. His eyes remained fixed on the fire as he spoke, though his posture indicated he was directing his words towards his acquaintance.
"It's okay," Remus replied instinctively, "I had just outed myself to our entire class. And there's no point in me pussy-footing around the fact that I'd sort of dropped it on you…"
"You never told me you were gay," Sirius accused, looking at Remus for the first time since sitting down.
Remus mused for a second, the only indication of his thoughts being the frown which had begun to burrow on his brow, "That's because I'm not gay," he confessed eventually, his tone only marginally above monotony.
"Then-"
"But you're right to say that I didn't tell you I wasn't straight," he went on, turning his gaze back to his friend.
They remained focused upon one another, in silence, for several seconds.
Sirius stared at Remus with a look of something close to wonder; he was annoyed that he hadn't been told, given the things they had shared with one another, but above all he was surprised at himself for not realising. As he looked, he appeared to be searching for something in his companion which might have explained it. There was nothing, of course, but it didn't stop him looking.
Remus, meanwhile, stared with very little thought. Aside from the daunting question circulating in his mind about what might happen next, he hadn't considered much else. He dared not, for worrying in apprehension would only extend his agony. He could spare himself a minute of pain, he gathered.
"No," Sirius agreed after a moment, "You didn't. But why? I don't understand. It isn't anywhere near as bad as you being a wer- well, not that that's a bad thing, although it is for you, it's just far less common than being sexually attracted to guys and girls."
Never breaking the gaze he had successfully managed to maintain, Remus replied very matter-of-factly, "Because it didn't matter. And when it did matter, I couldn't say it, because it mattered too much."
This seemed to make sense to Sirius, who blinked slowly before responding.
"You could have still told us," he accused. Somewhere inside him was a hint of betrayal. He wanted to know, both because he loved knowing things about Remus, and also because, on a selfish note, it would have given him somewhere to turn when he had faced the wrath of his family for the same thing. He wouldn't have had to have been so alone.
"I could have done," Remus lamented, "But I didn't. I didn't want to have to do this." He motioned around himself, signifying the state of the two of them.
"But it isn't just about you," Sirius shouted, "I could have-"
"That's always been your problem, Sirius," Remus snapped, "You have to be involved in everyone's business because it feeds your curiosity. It gives you things to use against them, or others."
Sirius visibly winced; he hated any reference to the prank he had pulled a couple of years ago, enticing Severus down the tunnel in which Remus was kept as a werewolf. It was stupid, he'd realised that, but not in time to instantly salvage his friendship with Remus. It had taken him months.
"And besides," Remus continued in his tirade, "Has it ever occurred to you that I just didn't want you to know? Awful things happen to friendships when they become complicated with things like this."
"We didn't need to make it complicated, Moony," Sirius answered quietly. He was approaching his own truth, he could feel it, and he hadn't decided how ready he was for that.
Remus nodded, "You're right," he concurred, his voice returning to a level volume, "We didn't. I decided not to make it complicated when I refrained from telling you anything."
Sirius groaned, "For God's sake, you're just not getting it."
Remus didn't say anything. Being told he didn't understand something, did nothing to aid his comprehension.
"Perhaps I'm not being clear," Sirius reasoned, "I just… Remus, the potion we spent yesterday evening messing up smells – to me – of old books and cocoa."
"It's a coincidence," Remus argued, folding his arms across his chest, "That's all it is."
"That's bullshit, and I think deep down you know that."
"No, Padfoot. It's a fact, I am quite sure-"
He stopped talking, for Sirius had just stood up from his chair. Was that it? Was this as far as their conversation was going?
Not quite yet, he figured, as his friend neared him. No. This couldn't be happening.
Or could it?
In no time at all, Sirius was stood beside his chair. He appeared to pause in thought for a second, until his eyes met Remus' again. Understanding passed between them, and Sirius – despite the fire of anxiety in the pit of his stomach – leaned down, tilting his head accordingly. Remus' breath hitched as the firewhiskey and tobacco which had terrorised him for the past twenty-four hours, neared. He remained mid-breath as he felt his friend's lips against his. It was a soft kiss, tender and cautious, exemplifying the feelings that were within each of them. The slight chapping to Sirius' lower lip, which Remus recalled him complaining about earlier in the week, felt strangely comforting. This was his Sirius; soft, tender, but a little rough around the edges.
Remus pulled his head back, after a while, in order to breathe. He made no effort to conceal the great gasp he took, as though breathing had been a thing forgotten for quite some time.
He glanced upwards, appraising his companion for any sign of regret. What he saw instead was a forgotten tear, rolling down Sirius' left cheek. Remus raised his hand slowly, wiping it away with his fingertips. They were both smiling, he noted, their relief reflected in one another's face.
"I'm glad I got to do that," Sirius whispered, sitting himself down on the floor at Remus' feet. He didn't see the radiated smile which grew upon his friend's face, nor could he feel the warmth which spread throughout him.
"So am I," Remus agreed, peering down at his acquaintance. He wondered idly what thoughts were going through Sirius' mind at that time, but decided not to ask. For now, he just wanted to stay in his state of contentment. Too much thought would affect that, he had learned that long ago, and so he simply put it off.
Sirius turned his head toward the fire, away from his companion. He sat back, resting his head against Remus' legs.
"I'm glad I don't have to go home anymore," Sirius confessed.
It had been two months since he had moved in with the Potters, though the circumstances under which that had taken place, Remus, at that time, did not know.
"It means I can be myself," he went on, giving the distinct impression that he was talking to himself more than to his friend.
"Please do," Remus agreed. He let his arms fall loose, then, leaving his left hand to brush Sirius' shoulder, "It's the unrestrained, natural you that I lo-"
He fell short; making such a confession felt unnatural, and it terrified him. There would be time for that, he hoped.
"I know," Sirius' replied in earnest. He had snaked his hand up past his shoulder, and laced his fingers through those of Remus'. "I know," he repeated gently.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"-vanished to, do you?" James asked, "I expect it of Sirius, but you couldn't pay Remus to skip out on a whole class."
He had just climbed back through the portrait hole carrying Sirius' satchel, followed by Lily who was carrying Remus' rucksack, and Peter.
"They'll be upstairs," Peter said, "Sirius will have broken a few things in a hissy-fit, and Remus'll be sat there waiting for him to stop-"
He quit talking as Lily nudged his side. Putting her finger to her lips, she pointed towards the common room fireplace. James, seeing they had stopped, followed their gaze.
There, by the fireplace, sat Remus in an armchair. His head was to one side, and his mouth was parted slightly, allowing him to snore.
On the floor next to him, sat Sirius. He too was asleep, and his head was rested against Remus' legs. The small damp spot beside his chin suggested that he had been drooling, but that was forgotten when the observers noted the way his arm was positioned across his chest in a 'V' shape. The tips of his fingers had curled beneath his palm, less than an inch away from Remus' hand.
"They're so cute," Lily crooned, barely containing her excitement. She loved Remus and Sirius like brothers, and couldn't contain her happiness on their behalf, that they appeared to have found happiness together.
"Shall I wake them?" James mused, wondering what others might say as they headed to their dormitory and saw the two boys together.
Lily shook her head, "Leave them. They look content, don't spoil it for them," she advised, not unkindly.
"That'll be us one day," James promised, taking Remus' rucksack from her with a swift wink. Without another word, he made his way up the stairs towards his dormitory, with Peter at his heel. He was just opening the door at the top of the stairs when he heard her response;
"Keep the dream alive, Potter."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
A/N: Thank you for reading :)
There wasn't an official guide on the creation of Amortentia, so I just made it up. I chose a few ingredients for a purpose; the boomslang skin, for instance, I figured the concept of growing out of an old skin would be akin to the enlightenment of realising something which might not perhaps have been known before, if one were – perhaps – in denial about their feelings, or if the feelings were perhaps completely new to a person. The healing properties of the Nux myristica appealed to my idea of the potion, because there are some who suppose that love is quite healing. I think the pearl dust is self-explanatory, and the octopus powder just made it harder for the boys to determine whether what they were smelling was natural or not.
Anyway, that's it for the remedial potions class.
I hope you liked this piece. I quite enjoyed writing it, and if I'm honest I was loath to finish it, because…well, they're just a fun group to get to know, aren't they?
I'm undecided about whether to leave this as it is, and whether to add a side-story which provides context for Sirius' history, for instance, or whether to add another chapter to it and let things continue. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I'll have a think.
Anyway, happy new year folks, and happy future reading :)