Chapter 1: Starting Point
"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. -Oprah Winfrey"
It's a normal day. Actually, to correct my previous statement, it was before a certain person came barging into it.
As I'm leaving the classroom, a suspicious figure is standing in the doorway, lurking around like a stalker ready to pounce on an unfortunate person. If I recall correctly, this same scene seems to have happened a month ago before. At that time, the unfortunate person was my classmate who hadn't been in a club for a month.
I shudder. Today marks the 30th day I'm 'clubless'.
I immediately crabwalk to the backdoor discreetly. As if knowing what I'm thinking, the person catches up to me, his curtained hair swishing against the air in its brown glory.
He's Itagaki Ryochi, the captain of the cheer team and a third year. According to gossip (arguably the most unreliable source of information ever), Itagaki sources for all the people who are not members of a club so that he can recruit them as members for the cheer team, also coined as the 'Going Home Club'. He uses his incredibly slick tongue and questionable research platforms to his advantage. Often than not, people who fall prey to his poaching cannot escape unscathed.
(Actually, the last sentence is just me exaggerating things. There's no spice in life without a little exaggeration after all, right?)
"Oho! Higashi Harue, is it? I've heard that you haven't been in a club for a month. I understand you, honestly. Clubs are troublesome and they take up too much time. The cheer team is now a solution to your problem!"
Itagaki Ryochi flashes a megawatt smile. Cunning. Then, he embarks on a speech littered with rhetorical appeals and persuasive techniques, explaining to me the wondrous benefits of joining the cheer team.
I patiently listen to him. Then, I start zoning out.
"So right now, you're telling me that I have to go to some random sport matches and spend my precious free time cheering for random people?" I exclaim after the captain's long speech had ended, partially due to impatience and dismay. He remains unfazed.
"Precious free time? Higashi, you've not been a member of a club for a month. Surely you aren't as busy as you claim to be," the captain chirps.
"But well, I have things to do," I insist.
To be frank, it's not like I'm all that busy. I just don't want to go. It's not like I have anything against the cheer team. I have immense admiration for the members, because it takes dedication for them to spend hours of their time perfecting cheers when they can actually use that time for more productive purposes, such as… watching dramas. (Okay, that doesn't sound convincing, but c'mon. Dramas can be pretty inspiring, and maybe they can change my life someday.) Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact that the cheer team isn't the club for me.
You see, I had joined the choir club, the art club and the astronomy club before, but I quitted them all in a span of a few months. It isn't as if I can't stand being in those clubs, but I just don't feel anything for them. No passion, no attachment, no nothing. Both in the activity and the people. I doubt it's gonna be any different for the cheer team, because I certainly don't want to be stuck screaming my lungs out for a few hours a week.
Some people tell me I can just stick to one random club for the rest of my school life for simplicity's sake, but that just sounds like I'm wasting my time away. If I'm going to find my passion, I'm going to find it now so that I won't stumble around the workforce like some lost duck. That's why I want to take my time searching for my fated club, as dramatic as that sounds.
See? My reasons are perfectly justified. All I have to do now is to explain them clearly to this sly cheer captain-
The cheer captain's continues smiling. There's a sharp glint in his eyes.
"Like what?" he questions, staring at me like a lion does to a sheep.
My resolve crumbles.
"Like uh… Studying?"
Wait- No! That's not what I wanted to say!
I almost want to facepalm myself. That's the worst kind of excuse I can come up with! Why can't I just regurgitate what I said in my head?
"N-No, I mean…" I hesitate.
Of course, the lion never hesitates to attack when presented the opportunity. Itagaki's intimidating expression dissolves into a puppy-eye look, and his face wrinkles from lines of stress.
"I have studies too, Higashi. I'm going into my finals, yet here am I still recruiting new members. Do you know why?"
"Er, why?" I ask. I almost want to facepalm myself for the second time.
This is obviously a trap, you idiot! You're supposed to divert the topic away!
As expected, my mouth doesn't listen.
Widely grinning once again, the cheer captain executes his last trick, "That's because I want to fully support my fellow Seijo friends to the best of my ability. That's why I'm making so many sacrifices. Cheering is a noble job, you see. It just upsets me that juniors like you are unable to see the significance that cheering provides to the players…" When he finishes, he heaves a dramatic sigh, as if he's disappointed in my very existence.
Guilt eats at me like vicious woodworm. In this world there are many sacrifices for the greater good, and the cheer team is actually a pretty huge squad consisting of fifty members. When there are so many people willingly taking time out to showcase their support for the sports teams, how can I say no to such a request? Plus, it's true the seniors have their studies to attend to too…
No no- Wait a second!
I shake my head. Once. Twice. Despite that, the sympathy I have for the cheer captain doesn't stop.
Why does this always happen to me?
As I look up at the captain's devious smirk, my eyes widen in realisation. This has been his plan all along…! I had merely fallen into his trap, just like he expected!
I clutch my fists together, shutting my eyes together in reluctant compliance.
I mean, it's true I'm free, and I do want to support the sports teams anyway… A few hours screaming won't hurt, right? It's all for a good cause, Higashi Harue. Be a nice person, and karma won't bite you. I guess.
Breathing in and out, my monologue somehow manages to help me acclimatise to my new predicament. The perks of brainwashing.
"…Fine," I whisper begrudgingly.
Itagaki glitters, his lips morphing into a triumphant smirk that I oh-so-wish to wipe off his stupid face.
"Great, Higashi-chan! Well then, see you at training tomorrow!" he chortles. And then he darts off like a bullet train. I note how he has pretty much locked our relationship into 'close senior-junior' status with his new addition of the suffix '-chan'.
I groan. Cheering is going to be my new favourite pastime.
(That's sarcasm by the way.)
Besides that, there's another conclusion I've reached: The freedom to reject is a gift only for the privileged, i.e. the smooth talkers and the thick-skinned.
(In other words, I'm an idiot for not standing up for myself. An absolute idiot.)
Being a member of a cheer team is no easy feat unlike what most people may think. For reasons unknown to me, the cheer team has training twice a week even though I see no need in practicing the same repetitive cheer for so many times. Why is the cheer team even established as a proper co-curricular activity anyway?
Other than that, Itagaki is always on me. He keeps yelling at me to scream louder and always forces me into the limelight in group discussions. He knows I care less about creating cheers. Why does he even bother? I haven't even offended him compared to the other junior he keeps arguing with, yet he seems to pick on me more than he does to that junior.
Is it because I'm a pushover?
…That must be the reason!
Since I'm a wimp and can't retaliate him, at least not verbally, I turn to my new friend, Minami Fumino, to complain about this new predicament I am stuck in.
"It's like I met a thorny path and wanted to evade death by jumping over it, but then I ended up jumping into a river and drowning instead," I lament.
"You're exaggerating, Higashi!" Minami says.
Exaggeration is my only mechanism to cope with this.
Despite all that drama, I admit that the cheer team isn't as bad as I thought it would be. The cheers are catchy, for instance. 'Go go go go, Seijo' and 'Push it, push it, push it, push it Seijo' are truly earworms—so much that I even start chanting them while showering (which earns me strange looks from my parents). However, the third cheer is horrible. It's where the cheer captain would go 'OHHHHH Seijo' like some dying goose. According to my seniors, the cheer captain insisted on shoehorning that cheer in because he thought he sounded incredibly cool (to which I responded with a grimace).
Fortunately, I have also made a few friends. We bond over the common agreement that Itagaki Ryochi is a nutcase.
Still, it's not that one club I'm looking for, because well, I still very much have no interest in cheering. I guess I wouldn't mind sticking with it until I find a hobby that resonates in me, though.
The first match I'm going to is the Inter High. Many of Seijo's sports teams are attending, so the cheer team is divided into a few sectors. I'm under the 'male volleyball team' sector.
I know the basics of volleyball from physical education classes, which include receiving, setting and spiking. From my experience, playing the sport itself is painful. I gained additional bruises on my arms the last time I practiced receiving, and then I vowed to never touch the sport again. Naturally, people who can play this troublesome sport well has my attention. Just imagine the arduous pain they have to go through during training. How can I not respect people like them?
Their play, however, is much better than I expected. Seijo's male volleyball team is—lack of a better word—great. They're a seasoned team for sure, since they rarely make mistakes amateurs would normally make. Serves are delivered with frightening accuracy, and even passes are made with careful consideration. Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact it's more of an Oikawa show than the rest of the team. It's not that they're weak per say, but they're just unimpressive on their own. At least, this is how I feel when I watch them as a part of the audience.
Oikawa Toru. I have some knowledge of him thanks to gossip. He's one of the most popular guys in Seijo, purely because he's handsome, outgoing and athletic. Everywhere he goes, he's always surrounded by a group of fangirls. Also, his volleyball skills are exceptional. His tosses are dynamic, matching each player's own ability. Watching his jump serve makes me feel like my heart is going to drop.
But truthfully, the team which has caught my eye the most is not Seijo, but Karasuno in the third round.
In contrast with Seijo, a team with belts of experience on their hand, the members of Karasuno's male volleyball team are like untamed crows. Their attacks are both ferocious and vicious, executed with unrelenting fire and determination. As long as the ball is on the court, they would guard the ball using every body part they have with every energy they have remaining. Every time they win a point, they would pump fists against the air, screaming with all their might. When #12 is up, the reserves would put up some bizarre poses to encourage their teammate. The match between Karasuno and Seijo is like fire against water. How is it that their enthusiasm can be so contagious, to the point that they can even affect a student like me who's from the opposing school?
When the final set comes and both teams' points inch closer to a victory every time, my heart hinges against my throat. One part of me is rooting for Seijo, but the other is rooting for Karasuno.
In the end, Karasuno loses. It isn't surprising. Energy can only take one so far, and Seijo is far ahead of them in terms of technique. Yet, when the players clad in black collapse and later leave the gymnasium with downtrodden shadows, my heart sinks along with their spirit.
They… They have something I don't have. Even if it's just a game, they would play with all their might as long as they stand on their court. They would despair when defeated and rejoice when victorious. To them, winning matters.
It's like my entire being has been emptied after the match. Seijo has a match after, but I still sneak out to see Karasuno nonetheless.
In the dark corridor, I watch their fading figures as I contemplate what to say to them. But having never felt much about losing before, I can't even assemble together a proper string of words of encouragement. Good job? You did your best? Don't be too sad? All of them sound like words that one gives to a loser out of mere charity. But I'm not doing this because I pity them. All I want to do is to keep their flame alight so that they'll keep playing volleyball with all their strength.
Because…
Because, loving something with all your heart is a fortunate thing, after all.
Ultimately, I decide to settle for these words.
"Karasuno, I am a fan of you all! Never give up and keep fighting on!" I shout. Their footsteps come to a standstill, and they all turn to look at me blankly. I smile.
"T-Thank you for your support!" #1 yells first. Snapping out from their daze, the members promptly repeat after what he said. Their screams resound in the silent corridor with both anguish and determination. I continue smiling. Amidst the grit of their voice, I notice the tears pooling in their eyelids.
Cry. Cry it all out. To learn how to cry for something you love… That, by itself, is a privilege.
I return back to the gymnasium with a strange bitterness at the tip of my tongue.
The schools Seijo is up against next are not too bad themselves. Johzenji has a very wacky playing style. It's so unpredictable that I don't even know what to comment on about exactly. It's certainly interesting to watch them play, though. It's ironic how the attitude of their cheer is opposite to that of their playing style.
Just imagine my surprise when I see the whole cheer team Shiratorizawa has. Actually, rather than 'cheer team', it's more accurate to say that the whole school has been summoned for cheering. They even have actual cheerleaders and drums out on the table! Why anyone would ever put in so much effort into cheering is baffling. Nonetheless, their efforts have paid off as they succeed in coming off as both majestic and intimidating, especially when they directly address us opponents directly.
Play-wise, Shiratorizawa is indeed a powerhouse like what I've heard before; seeing #1's spikes up close has really blown me away. It does feel like Shiratorizawa a team all about #1 though, even more than Seijo is about Oikawa. Shiratorizawa pretty much tears their opponents down with brute force, leaving no room for retaliation. They're definitely astounding, but frankly speaking, I prefer watching Seijo's play with Karasuno or Johzenji. Watching one party slaughter the other just… isn't my style.
In the end, Seijo loses. Again, I have to say it isn't surprising. Shiratorizawa's #1 alone is too overwhelming for the team to handle. Still…
After seeing the students from our school crumple, just like how Karasuno's students had, it's kinda heartbreaking.
In every match, there is a winner and a loser. That is the cruel law of the world.
With this loss, those in the male volleyball sector of the cheer team are free to go home. I should be one of the happiest, but by the time I leave the gymnasium, I'm left feeling empty.
At the same time, I feel like I've seen a new light—hope of feeling the passion that they felt.
When the bus taking the cheer team eventually stops at our school, I break into a sprint towards the direction of the gymnasium.
Before the sun sets, its garish light embraces me. My hazelnut shoulder-length hair is breaking through the wind, my side-swept bangs searing against the resistance of the air. I see the golden-dyed scenery ahead of me with my two brown eyes, the school buildings standing tall and firm amidst the sky. And, for a moment—just for a moment—I feel like I'm flying across the ground-
I'll keep running against the wind in pursuit for the thing that keeps my heart beating. Even if I stumble, even if I trip over myself, I'm going to see to the end of my future. Eventually, I'll fly high above the sky, and I'll see them on the other side of the mountain too.
A/N: I have way too many ideas for stories at the moment ;; This time, I decide to write a fic for my newest favourite anime, Haikyu!. The main character, Higashi Harue, is a Seijo student in her second year. This fic will focus on how she influences others and how others influence her back. It'll be a classic coming-of-age and friendship story, plus lots of the usual Haikyu! comedy. Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter!