Hermione is reading chem. book.
Ron is drinking beer
Harry comes in; Hermione slams Ron's hand with book
Hermione hugs Harry.
Hermione – Harry! Ron, he's here, Harry's here! Are you all right? Have you been furious with us? I bet you have, I know our letters were useless- but we couldn't tell you anything, Dumbledore made us swear we wouldn't, oh, we've got so much to tell you, and you've got to tell us- the dementors! When we heard- and that ministry hearing-it's just outrageous, I've looked it all up, they can't expel you, they just can't, there' a provision in the decree for the Restriction of underage sorcery for the use of magic in life-threatening situations—
Ron slaps Hermione and closes door
Ron – let him breathe, Hermione.
Phoebe comes in
Harry – Hedwig!
Ron – She's been in a right state. Bit us neatly in half when she brought your last letters, look at this:
Ron shows Harry his bloody hand.
Harry – oh yeah. Sorry about that, but I wanted answers, you know…
Harry looks guilty
Ron – We wanted to give them to you, mate. Hermione was jumping out the window, she kept saying you'll do something stupid if you were stuck on your own without news, but Dumbledore made us –
Harry – swear not to tell me. Yeah, Hermione's already said.
A short silence in which Ron drinks beer
Hermione – he seemed to think it was best. Dumbledore, I mean.
Harry – Right.
Ron – I think he thought you were safest with the muggers –
Harry – yeah? Have either of you been attacked by dementors this summer?
Hermione – Well, no – but that's why he's had people from the Order of the Phoebe tailing you all the time -
Harry – Didn't work that well, though, did it? Had to look after myself after all, didn't I?
Hermione – he was so angry. Dumbledore. We saw him. When he found out that poor little dungy had left before his shift ended. He was happy. Ow, I bit my tongue.
Harry – Well, I'm glad (Hermione looks mad). If he hadn't, I wouldn't have done magic and Dumbledore would probably have left me at privet drive all summer.
Hermione – Aren't you…aren't you worried about the Ministry of Magic hearing?
Harry – NO. So why's Dumbledore been so keen to keep me in the dark? Did you – er – bother to ask him at all?
Ron – We told Dumbledore we wanted to tell you what was going on. We did, mate. But he's really busy now, we've only seen him twice since we came here and he didn't have much time, he just made us swear not to tell you important stuff when we wrote, he said the owls might be intercepted –
Harry – He could still've kept me informed if he'd wanted to. You're not telling me he doesn't know ways to send messages without owls.
Hermione – I thought that too. But maybe he doesn't want you to know ANYTHING.
Harry – Maybe he thinks I can't be trusted…
Ron – don't be thick, Bush's thick enough for both of us.
Harry – or that I can't take care of myself –
Hermione – of course he doesn't think that!!!
Harry – SO how come I have to stay at the Dursleys' while you two get to join in everything that's going on here? How come you two are allowed to know everything that's going on -?
Ron – We're not! Mom won't let us near the meetings, she says we're too young –
Harry – SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE MEETINGS, BIG DEAL! YOU'VE STILL BEEN HERE, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU'VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER! ME, I'VE BEEN STUCK AT THE DURSLEYS' FOR A MONTH! AND I'VE HANDLED MORE THAN YOU TWO'VE EVER MANAGED AND DUMBLEDORE KNOWS IT – WHO SAVED THE SOCRERER'S STONE? WHO SAVED BOTH YOUR SKINS FROM THE DEMENTORS? WHO'S GOING TO SNOG CHO?
Ron – Hey, I wanted to!
WHO HAD TO KISS DRAGONS AND SPHINXES AND DRACO AND EVERY OTHER FILTHY CREATURE IN THE SEA LAST YEAR? WHO SAW HIM GET OUT OF BED? WHO HAD TO KISS HIM? ME!
BUT WHY SHOULD I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY SHOULD ANYONE BOTHER TO TELL ME WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING?
Hermione – Harry, we wanted to tell you, we really did –
Harry – CAN'T HAVE WANTED TO THAT MUCH, CAN YOU, OR YOU'D HAVE SENT ME AN OWL, BUT DUMBLEDORE MADE YOU SWEAR
Hermione – well he did –
Harry - I SUPPOSE YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A REAL LAUGH, HAVEN'T YOU, ALL HOLED UP HERE TOGETHER –
Hermione – Well, we HAVE been making out, but nothing that special's happened…
Harry – WHAT?! YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH HERMIONE AND CHO! RON, I'M CHALLENGING YOU TO A DUEL!
Harry and Ron take pink swords and fight. Hermione takes Ron's beer bottle and drinks.
Harry and Ron start hitting Hermione.
Hermione (throws Harry and Ron on the bed) STOP IT, you BABIES! Look, Harry, we're really sorry. You're absolutely right, Harry – I'd be furious If it was me!
There is a long pause, in which Harry takes the bottle from Hermione and drinks the beer. Hermione looks angry.
Harry – what is this place, anyway?
Ron – headquarters of the order of the phoebe.
Harry – is anyone going to bother telling me what the order of the phoebe –
Ron – it's the place where some people make out and other people are eaten by phoebe. Hermione – GIVE ME BACK THE BEER!!!
Ron – No! it's MINE!!!
Harry – NO! It's MINE! MY PRECIOUS!
Harry jumps on the bed, holding the beer bottle in the air. Ron and Hermione try to get it from him.
They fight.
Voice of Mrs. Weasley: Kids, it's time to get on the train!
end of scene 1