A man who looked like a freaking crane holding a giant dildo flew down from the ceiling. He was dressed in red laced undies and thigh-high crystal boots. Kind of like the ones that Michael Jackson wears in that Rock With You video.
"EMMETT? SAVE ME EMMY!" I screamed.
"Well bb Justain, I just can't do that."
He smiled, his gappy teeth glistening, "I'm going to deliver your baby! You can call me Mary Poppinfresh. BECAUSE I'M HOT AS FUCK AND READY TO MINGLE."
"That doesn't make sense!" I cried, "I'm a dude! I CAN'T BE PREGNANT. Gay men are only meant to get Lesbos preggers!"
"WELL..." Emmett flapped his homo hands around, "THE BB COMES OUT YOUR ASS."
"MY ASS? But I'll have a ruptured sphincter!"
"Sphincter anal beads my dick. They're all the same. Basically it feels like taking a giant shit backwards. It probably doesn't hurt anymore than if Lantern Jaw shoved his nose in your ass"
"Ain't that the truth" Mikey wiped a tear from his eye.
"How far pregnant am I?"
"About 5 days. But see, with homo men pregnancies, they last about 6 days. We're filled with these fabulous hormones that make the baby get super fucking huge in a matter of hours."
"OH SHIIIIIIIIIT."
A couple hours later, I started to have contractions. My stomach was huge, almost as big as Carl Horvath's.
Emmett shoved his hands up my ass. Ethan started to cry.
"IT'S ERRYTHING I EVAR WANTED BB. U MA ERRYTHING."
Suddenly, Emmett pulled this ugly-ass fetus out of my ass. I cried out in sphincter paiiiiiiiiin.
"Oh look! IT LOOKS JUST LIKE ETHAN!"
Emmett handed the ugly fucking troll to Ethan. And what was that? MATCHING TRAMPSTAMPS.
"Oh he's bootiful, hunnnnnyyyyyyy" Ethan cried. I then projectile vomited all over Emmett. He slapped me with his giant dildo and called me an ugly little whorebiscuit.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, LITTLE BB HUNTER BURST THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A TEAM OF HUSTLERS.
"EVEN FIGHTS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I'LL FIND YOU WHEN YOU'VE STAYED COLM AND RATIONAL"
He swaggered in with his tiiiiiiiiiight jeans and grabbed the baby.
"Woah. Is it a dude or a chick? I'm tight with either."
~TO BE CONTINUED~