I was hiding in the closet. I guess I must have been eight. Yeah, I was eight.

"Albert, I didn't expect you home,"

My mother said that and she had dragged out her huge suitcase. She was packing.

"Where in the hell do you think you're going?"

My dad said, and his voice was mean. It was just mean. When he sounded like that someone would get hurt.

"Let go of me, you're hurting me-"

"I said where in the hell do you think you're going!"

I was crouched down in the closet, covered behind the big winter coats, and I had my hands over my ears. But I could still hear them. Every word. And I didn't have to see them to know that he had grabbed her wrist and twisted. He did that a lot, to both of us.

"Let go of me, you fucking bastard-"

"Julia, goddamn it-"

"Albert, I'm leaving! And there's nothing you can do!"

Their voices were so loud and so angry. I had my eyes squeezed shut, my hands over my ears, and I was crouched into this little ball. I wanted to disappear. My parents fought so much. It built up, you know? Mean looks, tense words, screaming and yelling, and my dad grabbing her, shoving her, hitting her. Like he did to me later. He wasn't hitting me as much when she was still there.

"Oh there's something I can do! You can't take Craig! He is my son and he's staying here with me! You'll be fucking lucky if you ever get to see him again-"

"Don't threaten me, Albert! You know how the courts are! You hit me, you hit him, what court in all of Canada would award you custody-"

"Just remember who has the money you little fucking bitch! Me! I've got all the money and you have nothing! So Craig will be staying with me! I've already called the lawyers-"

"Fuck you, Albert! Fuck you! I'm leaving! I hate you, I hate you-"

Then I heard the thump. The crashes. He was hitting and punching her, I could hear it, I could hear her begging him to stop. I pressed my hands over my ears and started this humming to drown it out. I didn't want to hear them, I didn't want to be there.

It didn't matter what I wanted. The closet got kind of hot but I wouldn't come out. I fell asleep in there. I wanted to become numb, to disappear from my life. I was so scared all the time. So some time later my dad opened the door and woke me up.

"Craig?"

He said, and I opened my eyes and could see the light beyond the closet door. It had changed. I had slept for hours. Everything was quiet. I blinked, the dim light from the hall hurt my eyes. I'd been in the complete dark for hours.

"Yeah?"

I answered sleepily. He looked okay. The anger was gone. So was my mother. She'd left for good.

"Craig, what are you doing in there?"

"I guess I just fell asleep,"

He reached in and gently picked me up, and I put my arms around his neck and softly closed my eyes. I felt safe with him, like I still could back then. He wasn't mad at me then, he'd been worried because he couldn't find me. He hugged me a little before putting me down.

"C'mon, kiddo, let's go have some supper,"

He said.