In His Memory

by MyLifeBeingABookworM

While awaiting Woundwort's last oncoming attack, Spartina thinks about Bigwig's death and tries to clear her mind. But she remembers all too well how she came to be at Watership Down and knows why she's fighting for it. Rated T be cause Spartina loves Bigwig and that's an "adult theme". This is my first fic, might be a bit rough but give it a shot, eh old son?

His distant cry of pain seemed to linger over the down. It was impossible to tell exactly what happened to Bigwig during his short fight with Woundwort, but his scream was proof enough for Spartina. How could he have possibly thought he could defeat the mad rabbit? He had gone charging down the hill to meet his opponent with all the confidence of a newly trained member of Owsla, only to meet the Black Rabbit instead. His sacrifice was honorable and Spartina was sure the rest of the warren would remember him, as would she, but to live her life knowing he had stopped running was impossible.

He had carried her to Watership Down on his back after believing her to be an innocently hurt doe while she, in fact, was sent as a spy by Woundwort to find the location of their warren. She had meant to spend time trying to get as much information as she could out of the chief's mate, but she frequently found herself blissfully gazing at the scenery. The view alone was enough to make a rabbit forget about their real home, so meeting the friendly "outsiders" almost sealed the deal for her. Almost. She recalled what she was taught as a kitten about the Dark One. He was to lead all of Darkhaven to endless glory, and that's all she ever wanted wasn't it?

Besides the coming glory of being from Darkhaven, she was unsure if she could trust these rabbits. At her home warren she learned to never trust those around you, and because this was the natural mentality of the rabbit's there, it was normal she didn't have many friends. Spending time with the so called "outsiders" had, however, softened her heart on the idea of closeness to others. Yet she also realized she herself longed for a different kind of closeness. Though she was respected among the Owsla at Darkhaven and could easily beat many of them in battle, she was still a doe. Sometimes she just wanted to feel, well, wanted. The night she eavesdropped on Campion and the new doe Blackberry made her realize this in full. So it was just up to Frith that she be led to Bigwig.

She didn't know exactly what to say or do when he first tried to make his feelings for her known, it was up to Primrose to help her see. Sure there had been a few bucks seeking her attention back at Darkhaven, but they never managed to get past her self-constructed outer shell and would leave. Bigwig, however, had sought her out plenty of times and nervously asked her endless questions about anything in particular. With anyone else she knew it would have annoyed her, but he was different. He wasn't asking out of suspicion of her whereabouts (like Captain Holly) as a trained Captain of Owsla should have been, he seemed to genuinely want to get to know her, and she let him. So as days passed, she became much more conflicted about which side she was fighting for.

Soon the answer became all too clear and she knew she was meant to help save Watership Down. Going back to Darkhaven to rescue Campion and Blackberry had once again opened her eyes to how cruel and evil her warren had been. It only made her want to return to the down even more. After being charged with treason, kidnapped, and ultimately rescued, she was reunited with a much happier Bigwig than she had ever seen and a more beautiful Watership Down than she ever remembered.

Now she was here, preparing for the second attack by Woundwort's army in what was sure to be the last battle. They were vastly outnumbered by Woundwort's great army of intensely trained fighters and now he knew what to expect, Watership Down didn't have a fighting chance. Spartina tried to clear her mind of everything but what she was trained to do, but it was all too much. The fighting, the loss, the anguish all came together in a ceaseless wave of agony that gave her no rest in the few tense moments leading up to the oncoming attack. She had to pull herself together, for Bigwig, for Watership Down, for every last buck, doe, and kitten that called this place home. She'd fight, fight because El-ahrairah himself was there inside her very being. Fight because though Bigwig was gone, she could still hear him fighting along side her.

Woundwort's battle cry called everyone to full attention. Spartina sent up a silent prayer to Frith and waited for orders to charge for the enemy.