Title: She.
Author: Dr. Callian.
Summary: Not anymore.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, sadly…
A/N: This just came out of the blue when I was reviewing one of the literally dozens of Callian fics that I have recently read back to back, so at this point all my reviews are kinda blurry in my head, lol! I'm not really sure wich one was the one that inspired me, I swear. Lol!
But I am sure, though, that pretty much the 1st two paragraphs were my review on a very good Callian fic that I read a few days ago. When I was reading what I had typed before I hit the submit button, it came to me: this is great material for a 1 shot! So I selected the whole thing, copied and pasted it on a notepad that I saved in my "Callian" folder and proceeded to delete and re-write the whole review. I think, it worked like a charm, let's see if you guys think so too…
I wanna take this opportunity to thank all of those that read my 1st fic and took the time to review it or let me know in 1 way or another that they loved it , it meant a lot to me. Oddly enough, I didn't get any bad reviews on it, wich, by the way, I totally expected. Maybe, this one does the trick, hu? ;)
Im still working on another 2 stories that I plan on posting by the end of the month, hopefully. So if you hate this one, let me know, so I try and speed the writing process on the other 2, maybe we hit it off next time. Deal ?
She
She is doomed to fail. Every new relationship she starts will always fail because it would be like a big rebound manoeuvre blowing up on her face, over and over, until she finds the courage to act on what she truly feels for him. She knows that, in not such an unconscious way anymore.
So far, she has been wrapping herself around excuses not to do it- great excuses, by the way, some of them had a first and a last name or several names and even more than 1 passport…-mostly because she is terrified of the outcome. She is terrified of the utter happiness that he can bring into her life and of the most devastating destruction that will prevail if that happiness is ever tainted or taken away by…you name it: Zoe, blondes in general, Vegas, death. Friendship and partnership provide a comfy and secure dome in wich she can fool herself into believing that if any of those things ever happen, she will be able to at least attempt to pick up the pieces and let go or move on or whatever the hell self help books are calling it now a days, after the debacle. But love, the kind of love that they can unleash if they ever get together… that could virtually kill her if for some God forsaken reason it doesn't work out.
She is so reluctant to take the risk, because she knows him oh too well, hence, all that could go wrong and how much she would lose if it does. She would lose it all and she is certain that she is not strong enough anymore to wipe her own tears and start over like she did after Sophie, or after her divorce. Not anymore, not when it comes to losing him.
She closes her diary, puts it away in her night stand's drawer and turns her reading lamp off, then she closes her eyes and tries to get some sleep.
Tomorrow she will walk into her office after saying: -"Hey, good morning". To wich his response will be:-"Hey, love, morning". There will be smiles and glances and he will definitely check her out when she walks away, in a very unapologetic sort of fashion. She will obviously act as if she didn't notice. And, so on…
She has always kept her diary in a third person format, since she got her Psychology PhD.
THE END ?
Please, r&r. Thanks in advance