A/N: It's been a while, folks! Miss me?... Probably not. Anyways, I have yet another Sonic fanfiction for you to rot your brains on! Behold, the one, the only (hopefully), HOTEL SONIC! And one more thing, you can imagine the hotel rooms however you like. Why? I'm too lazy to do it myself. What else did you expect?

Hotel It To The Marines Dept.

You know Sonic? He's a famous figure in his world and ours. Yeah, that right there's a no-brainier. But our story starts on a different note. And by that, I mean Sonic wanted a little more in his pay. Sure he got everything an anthropomorphic hedgehog could want in the world, but Sonic wanted a little more. In today's economy, $12,000,000 dollars don't get you much, am I right? Anyways, Sonic had gone right up to the head of SEGA and demanded at least $1,000 dollars more in his pay, but the head refused. After a small lawsuit battle (spanning 2 years), the head of SEGA wound up on Easter Island, Knuckles ended up selling the Master Emerald on eBay again, Tails got a cheese sandwich and Sonic got a hotel. It could've been worse though. Silver had his brain scooped out with a spoon after it had been on a hot plate for three hours.

"So what're you gonna do with your hotel?" Tails asked Sonic one afternoon. The two were sitting a table in a Tim Hortons.

"Maybe renovate it, give it a complete overhaul and maybe use it to help you get a girlfriend," Sonic thought aloud.

"Hey, I have one!" Tails exclaimed defensively.

Sonic rolled his eyes and smirked at Tails. "You know Cream left you a year ago, right?"

"Well, she was getting a tad too power-hungry for my liking..." Tails admitted.

"And she took over Ubisoft," Sonic added quickly.

"You know what? Shut up," Tails snapped looked a little peeved.

"Fine Prower Power To The People," Sonic muttered.

Tails let out a long sigh. How he hated to be called that. Or any pun. Would that mean he wouldn't like me?

"Hey, if you too aren't gonna buy anything, get out," the Assistant manager said, coming over to Tails and Sonic.

"Ah, ah, ah," Tails held up one finger, reached beside him, picked up the cheese sandwich he had won and showed it to the Assistant manger. "This sandwich here owns the place. And he says we can sit here as long as we want."

"Cheese sandwiches can't talk," Sonic told Tails.

"But it did win the deed," Tails replied.

The Assistant manager walked away casually as Sonic and Tails started up another argument. Just then, Knuckles came flying through the window of the place, slid across the floor and hit his head on one of the stands holding up one of the tables.

"What'd you do THIS time?" Sonic asked the echidna without taking his eyes off of Tails.

"Tikal kicked me out after she found out I sold the Master Emerald," Knuckles explained, getting off the floor.

"I thought she was a pacifist," Tails wondered aloud.

"Chaos did it," Knuckles growled. "Who knew that would be so strong with any Chaos Emeralds?"

"And you say that because...?" Sonic twirled his hand in a circle, as if asking Knuckles to continue.

"The island was hovering over China," Knuckles replied angrily. "I went the long way around." Knuckles though for a moment. "TWICE."

"Sucks to be you," Sonic said quickly before getting back to arguing with Tails.

Knuckles muttered some crap under his breath and went to the counter to get a coffee or something.

An hour or two later, right when Tails was starting to win in an argument over Troll 2, Blaze, Shadow and Amy all walked in.

"I'm telling you, I didn't know it was explosion!" Blaze told Shadow, who was looking madder then usual.

"It was twelve sticks of dynamite right next to a giant drill!" Shadow shouted, turning around and looking Blaze angrily in the eyes. "Only a moron-" he shot a dirty look at Amy "-wouldn't know that!"

"But they were on sale!" Amy argued in the whiniest voice she could mange. "And the common law of the world is that, if it's on sale, we must buy it!"

"And what complete idiot would sell TNT at Wal-Mart?" Shadow exclaimed.

"I would!" Knuckles called to the three.

"Hey, Shadow Of A Doubt, what's up?" Sonic enquired Shadow, still not taking his eyes of of Tails's.

"Didn't you hear me?" Shadow yelled angrily. "Ms. Raze here blew our house up!"

"Why are you three living together?" Tails asked.

"I don't know, you fill in the plot hole!" Shadow cried in an aggravated tone, more or less speaking to the fourth wall.

"Well, ain't this odd?" the Assistant mananger commented in a mocking way, walking into the middle of the Tim Hortons. "All six of you are homeless and have no place to go to. You people really are stupid aren't you. You people have all the money in the world, but you never, for one second, thought of buying a place to live if you were ever fired? That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever-" the Assistant manager didn't get to finish because, right then, Shadow had kneed him in the groin.

"And dat's for callin' me stoopid!" Shadow told the Assistant manger, who was bent over in pain.

While Shadow was doing that, Tails was thinking about what the Assistant manager who had just lost his nuts had just said. Then, it hit him. No, seriously, an ad for Sonic's hotel flew in and smacked him right in the face.

"I got it!" Tails shouted through a mouthful of Mobian Times. "We can live at your hotel, Sonic!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure," Sonic muttered, reading the paper on Tails's face. "What? Homework times go up to 3 hours? Are they mad?"

LATER AT THE HOTEL, AN HOUR BEFORE SEVEN...

"OK, so we're all getting the top floor, right?" Amy asked as all six of them walked into Sonic's new hotel (formally the Tipton, now known as Hotel Sonikku).

"Why do we have to be on the top floor?" Blaze moaned.

"Because I said so!" Amy retorted in kind of a half-westren and half-black accent, offending both sides equally.

"Well, it was because Shadow threatened to knee me like the Assistant manager," Sonic explained quickly, seeing Shadow was already sharpening a giant spike that would apparently tie onto his knee, "but enough about that, let us choose our rooms." Sonic whipped out six sticks, all cut to the same length, so they all resembled Popsicle sticks. "We pick a stick and if your number matches to whoever else got it, you're basically roommates."

Everybody muttered something about a kind of childish decision maker and drew a stick.

"Amy, what did you get?" Sonic enquired Amy.

"2," Amy read the number on his stick.

"That's my number!" Tails said aloud.

"Dang it," Amy muttered. She had her mind set on getting a room with somebody she had liked for years.

"Shadow, read your number," Sonic told Shadow.

"Why do I have to do it?" Shadow asked. He sounded just as annoyed as he did in Tim Hortons.

"Fine then. Knuckles, you do it," Sonic said to Knuckles.

"No way!" Knuckles shouted. "Make him do it!"

"You do it!" Shadow shouted back.

"You!" argued Knuckles.

"You!" argued Shadow.

"You!" argued Knuckles.

"You!" argued Shadow.

"You!" argued Knuckles.

"You!" argued Shadow.

Tails was very quietly singing a song to himself about filler to the tune of "Thriller".

"You!" argued Knuckles.

"You!" argued Shadow.

"You!" argued Knuckles.

"You!" argued Shadow.

"You!" argued Knuckles.

"You!" argued Shadow.

"I'll do it!" Sonic shouted.

Shadow let go of Knuckles throat the same time Knuckles stopped jabbing Shadow's spike into his side. They both muttered in a agreement.

Sonic snatched their two sticks, quite rudely, and read them off: "Three, you both are roommates, no you're not switching."

Knuckles and Shadow looked at each other angrily, then decided to inspect their feet in the same angry manner.

"So that leaves me and Blaze in a room," Sonic said. "And so that's everybody. Well, I'm going to my room."

"Same here," everybody else agreed. And so they all headed to the elevator.

THE NEXT DAY...

Sonic was quietly eating Frosted Flakes at the hotel room's kitchen table when Blaze came angrily in the room and slapped Sonic across the face. Sonic fell off his chair thanks to blow.

"What was that for?" Sonic asked, looking up at Blaze in an angry manner.

"I know what you did!" Blaze shouted. "And you do to!"

"Last summer?" Sonic guessed.

"No last night!" Blaze yelled.

"That doesn't sound like an interesting horror movie," Sonic muttered, earning him another blow.

"I'm not talking about movie titles!" Blaze shouted angrier then before. (A/N: I typed the following after a good cry and a lot of mental build up.) "You groped me last night while I was asleep!" (A/N: And I typed the rest after another good cry.)

"What? I did not!" Sonic said defensively, getting up. "Maybe somebody else did it!"

"Like who, Tails?" Blaze suggested mockingly.

"Well, he has been growing into more of a... er, hentai lately..." sonic muttered. "Shadow has been going down the same path, as well as Shadow and, I don't know, maybe Amy did it."

Blaze stared at Sonic for a good minute before politely saying the following: "Are you out of your f***ing mind? Why would that b****** child Amy do that to me? Do you honestly think in all f***ing H*** that s*** biscuit would do that to me?"

"It could be possible," Sonic said. "Besides, it would make for a good continuing mystery."

"Like that time with the rubber band?" Blaze asked.

"Totally," Sonic agreed, sitting down to finish his breakfast.

A/N: Not as long as I wanted it to be, but, hey, I am a lazy writer! And now you know why this has a "T" rating! OOC cussing for the win! But, anyways, thank you for reading the first chapter of my new anthology-style story. I would also encourage you to give it a rating out of ten so I can keep track of what kind of stories people like. And that's all I have to say about that. So good night and luck.