A/N: This is different to anything I have ever written before, but UnsuspectingHearts messaged me and asked me to give the whole text story a go. So, here's hoping people enjoy it! Or, mainly, that UnsuspectingHearts enjoys it!
Just in case anyone is interested, I have been attempting to work on a kind of epilogue to The Christmas Shoes, so if any fans of that are reading, there may be something to come in the future for you guys!
Wild Night
DiNozzo (202) 7:03am: Hey McLazy, Gibbs just said ur taking a sick day. Ziva and I dragged ourselves in, what'sa matter? A lil Sambuca too much for ur geeky brain?
DiNozzo (202) 7:46am: Seriously mad at u McGoo. Gibbs has me on computer geek work and he's hit me twice for not doing it fast enough. Get ur sorry ass into the office.
DiNozzo (202) 7:59am: On my 5th coffee of the morning. This is how normal people deal with hangovers.
DiNozzo (202) 9:24am: We have a new post girl, she's smoking hot. Shame u missed out and I got to make an impression first. Sad times for u!
DiNozzo (202) 10:00am: At first I thought u were ignoring me, now I'm ever so slightly concerned. McGee, are u alive?
McGee (202) 11:03am: Pounding heaf. I jate you DiNoxxo.
DiNozzo (202) 11:05am: U are alive then! Nice spelling technology boy!
McGee (202) 11:11am: Too much effort to cjange it. Head. Hurts.
DiNozzo (202) 11:17am: Haha! U were great last night it has to be said! Never thought I'd see u, McGee, doing shooters with Ziva and actually keeping up!
McGee (202) 11:31am: How many?
DiNozzo (202) 11:33am: According to Ziva, 8. That was on top of the beer and whatever that purple thing u drank was.
McGee (202) 11:40am: Euuuurgh. Neber drinking again. Everbanananutloaf
DiNozzo (202) 11:41am: I'm sorry?
McGee (202) 11:44am: Autocorrect.
DiNozzo (202) 11:45am: Why would u be texting about banana nut loaf?
McGee (202) 12:00pm: I wanyed a recipe. Please stop texting. Alert tone is ridiculously loud.
DiNozzo (202) 12:03pm: Ha! We all have to suffer sometimes McGiggle. U even more so because u called in sick and all u have is a hangover.
McGee (202) 12:14pm: I have nevet had a hangover in my life. This can't be a hangover. Think I'm dying
DiNozzo (202) 12:18pm: Never? What the hell did u do in ur college years?
McGee (202) 12:21pm: Studied. Got good grades.
DiNozzo (202) 12:24pm: And no girls. Right. I remember now. Trust me, ur not dying.
McGee (202) 12:31pm: WHY would people ever drink again after this?
DiNozzo (202) 12:35pm: Ur such a girl McGee, u'll have forgotten by the weekend.
McGee (202) 12:39pm: Whatever. Still not drinking again.
DiNozzo (202) 12:41pm: Whatever u say McLightweight.
McGee (202) 1:09pm: I think I accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple last night.
DiNozzo (202) 1:09pm: What. The. Fuck.
DiNozzo (202) 1:10pm: Please tell me that's another autocorrect?
McGee (202) 1:16pm: Believe me, I wish it was. I just checked my browser history. Apparently I visited some rather… unique websites last night.
DiNozzo (202) 1:18pm: Really? Do I detect some bizarre fetish sites in the mix? ;)
McGee (202) 1:20pm: Tony this is serious. I have agreed to gestate someone's child. What the hell am I supposed to do?
DiNozzo (202) 1:22pm: Hahahahaha, I need to take a moment to process this! There are just so many potential jokes flying around in my head right now! Hahaha u, McGee, a surrogate… HAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVE to tell Ziva!
McGee (202) 1:23pm: Tony, don't you DARE!
McGee (202) 1:27pm: Tony?
McGee (202) 1:31pm: Tony! You better not be telling people this!
McGee (202) 1:35pm: TONY!
DiNozzo (202) 1:49pm: Ziva is literally wiping the tears away she is laughing so hard! I swear McGee, only u or Palmer could do something this weird!
McGee (202) 1:52pm: Said it before and I'll say it again. I hate you DiNozzo.
McGee (202) 2:19pm: Still mad at you. But seriously, what do I do?
DiNozzo (202) 2:21pm: Ziva is still crying with laughter just FYI! I'm trying to type this report but instead I'm trolling surrogate sites, I'm trying to find ur baby parents to be. Kevin and Nigel from West Virginia look lovely, I hope it's them. Otherwise, I'm going with Adam and Clarke from Bethesda, but I think Kevin and Nigel are ur best bet. They look rich ;)
McGee (202) 2:27pm: You are a sick man DiNozzo. I'm in real trouble here!
DiNozzo (202) 2:30pm: Un-bunch those panties McGee, this is hilarious! And, just in case ur actually too hung-over still to figure this one out urself, U ARE A GUY! U CANNOT GESTATE ANYTHING!
McGee (202) 3:10pm: It gets worse. I just got a receipt from . My account has been credited $1000 as a starter fee…
DiNozzo (202) 3:15pm: I did not think this could get any better! McGee when u screw up, u do it good and proper! I actually think Ziva is about to have a seizure she's laughing so hard!
McGee (202) 3:21pm: This is not funny DiNozzo! Some gay couple think I'm about to go get impregnated!
DiNozzo (202) 3:28pm: Maybe u should go, u might enjoy it. We've always suspected u might prefer beef to taco.
McGee (202) 3:30pm: You are an ass.
DiNozzo (202) 6:15pm: We're still in work because we are DOWN a team member *shifty eyes at U McGee* Have u sorted ur problem yet?
McGee (202) 6:24pm: I returned the deposit. I called them and explained the situation. The guy on the phone cried. I feel awful.
DiNozzo (202) 6:25pm: No, not Kevin and Nigel! How could u break their little hearts so cruelly?
McGee (202) 6:31pm: This isn't a joke DiNozzo, I really offended people.
DiNozzo (202) 6:33pm: Kevin and Nigel right? ;)
McGee (202) 6:36pm: WILL YOU DROP KEVIN AND NIGEL?
DiNozzo (202) 6:37pm: Harshly and cruelly? I'm not sure they can handle rejection twice today.
McGee (202) 6:48pm: Fick you DiNozzo.
McGee (202) 6:48pm: Duck
McGee (202) 6:48pm: Fluff
McGee (202) 6:48pm: FISH
McGee (202) 6:49pm: I hate my life.
DiNozzo (202) 6:30pm: HAHAHAHAHA!