I don't own any rights to Black Lagoon. I hope you guys enjoy!
Chapter 1: A Clusterfuck Day
The air was alive with the sound of gunfire. Home made explosive ordinance shook the buildings throughout through out this little battle field as the Lagoon Company found themselves in the midst of yet another job gone pear-shaped. Revy was hidden inside what had been a one story office of some sort but was now a gutted shell of its former self, Dutch flanked the main group of their assailants from behind a mass of crumbled concrete, looking contrite at having to dip into their cargo for extra weaponry to fend off the onslaught. He didn't relish the chunk that would come from their pay checks for delivering used goods. Benny had made a mad dash for cover at the first sign of trouble and was inches away from Revy's spot as she earnestly picked off targets. Then there was Rock, caught in the middle of the clusterfuck, which seemed to have erupted rather suddenly. His position as negotiator for this shin dig had left him the closest to their foes and now it had become unsafe for him to get to any actual cover and so he resigned himself to lying prone on the battle ground.
"Two Hands, you alright over there?" Dutch's voice emerged over the sounds of battle as he loaded the borrowed machine gun.
"Gettin' fucked, Dutch! Where's Rock?" She unloaded a mag from one of her cutlasses with her teeth only to replace it a moment later with a fresh one. She couldn't see her partner from her current position but she knew it couldn't be good.
"He's alive..for now." Dutch boomed in return, picking off some Charlie who were getting a little too close to Roanapur's favorite businessman. He winced just slightly as some stray flak flew by his head, grumbling to himself something about getting to old.
"Is it just me or is this getting to be more routine for our jobs with Balalaika ever since you went to Japan?" Benny asked.
"Shut up and pray, dipshit!" Of course, Revy was a devout atheist who prayed only to the almighty dollar on an altar of death and bloodshed (or was it the other way around?), but Benny resisted his initial inclination to point that out. He figured any little thing couldn't hurt given their current predicament.
If they couldn't get a handle on things soon, well, he was starting to consider what epitaph he'd like on his headstone.
An explosion of glass nearby followed by some choice expletives from Lagoon's best gunslinger quickly jarred Benny out of his musing, but before he could fixate on what exactly had happened…
"Rock! You crazy bastard, what the fuck are you doing?" Came Dutch's stunned roar over the din of gunfire.
In the calamity, the fighting had migrated. Rock used the opportunity to covertly move over to a discarded—but more importantly, unused—grenade launcher and he began to pick of the most problematic pockets of thugs, all the while dashing about and screaming like a mad man. That had been what caused the windows to bust out of Revy and Benny's shelter. Time seemed to stop as both sides took a moment to digest exactly what the fuck was going on. The distraction allowed Dutch and Revy to recover some much needed ground in the fighting; questions could be asked later.
"Rock! Find some fuckin' cover, ya goddamn idiot!" Revy shouted, now in a position to see the spectacle for herself as she continued her own shooting. The gang bangers she was shooting at seemed to have become more of a secondary concern next to Rock's safety. Dutch was on the same page, providing Rock with cover fire right up until he cast the grenade launcher aside and charged the remaining enemies, seemingly intent on fighting them?
Dutch's jaw went slack and he felt the cigarette he'd been chewing on beginning to slip from his mouth.
"Oh, fuck me, that boy has some kinda death wish."
Revy bellowed the foulest obscenities she could conjure as Rock stopped short and grabbed the money Balalaika had sent as payment before making a mad dash back across the field. If nothing else could be said of him, it was that Rock had developed an impressive talent even among the citizens of Roanapur for dodging bullets.
Rock grunted, feeling himself being thrown headlong against the wall of the Black Lagoon's bridge with what seemed to be all the force of a freight train. He had just enough time to look up and witness the unbridled, indiscriminate fury heading his way with all the same finesse as that same train before Revy unleashed on him full force.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" She seethed, her tone an enraged howl, though there was a hint of something more to it that added to the unhinged quality. Panic? Concern? Fear? Hysteria? Whatever the case it was Revy not quite like he'd ever seen her before and it unnerved him slightly.
"What kinda limpdick suicidal motherfucker runs unarmed into a gun fuckfest? I already told you once, its just not possible to protect you when you try so damn hard to get fuckin' killed all the time! Remember that, Rock?"
At this, she sounded almost feral and Rock knew this moment was the closest he would ever be to facing an angry lion. He had enough self-preservation to know not to speak, and not to move, as she drew her cutlass and pointed it straight at him, cocking the hammer back.
"Or maybe you wanna die. That's it, isn't it? Balalaika, Japan, this clusterfuck today…It's all because you wanna take the express trip to a god forsaken shithole in the ground. Well, why didn't you just say so? I can make it painless for you, Rocky boy."
Several tense seconds passed between them as they stared each other down, Revy with her gun locked and loaded and pointed and him, and Rock with nothing but his disarming ability to see into her. She wouldn't kill him. She couldn't. Of that, he was certain.
"Aw fuck it," Revy groused with a scowl, putting her gun back in its resting spot as Dutch arrived back at the helm of the boat.
"I'm goin' topside for a smoke." Revy grumbled. Rock made to go back toward the bunks but was stopped by Dutch's stern command.
"Rock. Hold on."
"Dutch, I know what—" A silencing gesture from his employer stopped Rock in his tracks and his shoulders slumped as if he were a schoolboy about to receive a lecture from the principal. Dutch seemed in no hurry to relieve the agonized anticipation as he silently retrieved his pack of Redwoods, offering one to Rock, which he accepted. The pair smoked in silence, Rock unsure of what to say and Dutch meditating on just what exactly he had seen that day. Finally, with cigarettes more than half spent, the quiet was broken.
"Rock, I'm gonna preface what I'm about to tell you by saying I knew you were a crazy son of a bitch when I hired you."
"But?" Rock pressed.
"That was hands down the craziest shit I've ever seen, and that's saying something considering where we live and the people in that hell hole." Dutch let a proud smile slip at that comment and Rock allowed himself to feel better, believing that maybe he wasn't in for the lecture he thought he would get.
"Point is, I'm gonna need you to take it easier on my blood pressure. Balalaika will appreciate the thought and it'll be a nice feather in our cap for future business with Hotel Moscow, but fuck."
Rock's growing smile suddenly faded as his mind was drawn back to the woman up on the deck, who was no doubt still seething at him.
"And Revy?"
"Don't sweat it, kid." Dutch said, crushing his cigarette into the ash tray. "She doesn't like to say it, but she's pissed because she cares. We all do. You go and get yourself killed, where the fuck am I gonna find another crazy fucker like you?"
"Thanks Dutch." Rock answered simply, now confident that no one (with the possible exception of Revy) begrudged him for his actions. He had, after all, saved their hides in the end so it really evened out, all things considered.
Rock made his way back toward the cooler, intent on grabbing a much-needed Beer. He headed for his bunk afterwards, passing Benny's station on the way.
"Hey, Rock." The resident computer genius beseeched him.
"Yeah, Benny?"
"Thanks for saving our butts." He beamed openly, briefly, before turning back to his work. Tomorrow would be another day with new obstacles to face, but for now their little rag-tag family was safe and accounted for. Rock supposed he couldn't ask much more than that.
When the Black Lagoon finally docked, it was noon in Roanapur. The sun beat down on the city with a vengeance and one could see the heat waves permeating from every surface. It was a hellish cocktail that only accentuated the living hell that was Roanapur. In the midst of it all, the crew found that they had a welcoming committee for their arrival. Balalaika and her entourage stood by in anticipation at the company dock as the boat was finally put to sleep and moored in place. The crew, as usual, looked worse for wear and Balalaika's eyes betrayed a hint of amusement even as her face remained stoic and businesslike. Her eyes trailed over to the briefcase in Rock's hand and seemed to light up with interest. S
"Dutch, its good to see you all in one piece." She cooed in her cordial, polished way; floating over to the crew finally as they finished up their docking routine. Her great coat and burgundy red blouse moving gracefully with her all the while.
"Ma'am." Dutch answered, while Revy grunted in displeasure. "I wasn't expecting a welcoming party."
"I simply came to see you into port, personally. It's the least I could do given the trouble you went to." She purred, walking a fine line between sounding genuine and manipulative. In Roanapur, even the rarest acts of consideration were often fueled by an ulterior motive, and if they weren't, still seemed suspect. Dealing with Hotel Moscow was always one such dubious pleasure. "I apologize for the inconvenience, but it seems there was a last minute…complication. The price of doing business, I suppose. Its really such a bother." She mused.
"Pardon me if I sound a bit skeptical, Miss Balalaika." Dutch addressed respectfully. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been trying to kill us lately."
Balalaika tutted, her persona changing momentarily from the cold professional to the personal friend. "Oh, come now, Dutch. It wouldn't be very becoming of me to kill you when I still owe you a favor, would it? Besides, who else in this decrepit cesspool does the quality of work your company always produces?"
Dutch, ever the businessman, took her compliments in stride and cut through the heart of the matter. "About that, we weren't about to get the weapons shipment back, but we did get the money from the secondary order back for you."
"The bosses in Moscow won't be pleased at losing weapons." She mused, gravely "Some things can't be helped I suppose. On the bright side, the little betrayal today means you and your crew are finished playing the middle man in mafia transactions for the time being. I may have something a bit more your style in the works soon."
"Fuck yeah!" Revy exclaimed, perking up at the promise of a more adventurous job opportunity that didn't involve just your basic gun running and shooting…not that she minded that.
"Oh, and about that briefcase," Balalaika began, earning the attention of the crew, "The weapons shipment may be a loss, but in light of the circumstances, I'm feeling a bit generous. Let's say…$50,000 on top of your initial pay for the job.
Rock felt a cold chill run through him as her eyes settled on him last and she gave him an uncharacteristic, yet devilish wink.
"Smart work as usual, Dutch." She complimented, before turning on her heel back toward the Mercedes chariot that would carry her back to her throne high over the city of the walking dead.
"Ma'am."
As her car pulled away, Revy's howl of approval bellowed into the sweltering sky.
"Fuck yeah! What did I tell ya? You're a genius, Rock!" She shouted as she held Rock in a headlock. For his part, he looked every bit the haggard ragdoll, being tossed about by the carefree child. Dutch and Benny smiled in amusement at the pair as the group made their way toward the GTO with one destination in mind.
"I'm gonna drink your ass so far under the table!"
The night came and went and morning seeped over the land, bringing with it a new day and a fresh heat. Though it was still early, the air conditioners that worked were already putting in overtime trying to stave off the encroaching heat and humidity of the outdoors. The city was like chopped meat, slowly stewing in a broth of sweltering dampness, over an oven of the unforgiving heat of the Southeast Asian jungle. That alone was enough to make for a bitch of a day, but then the a thunderous headache began to make itself known in Rock's head as he slowly came to consciousness.
His surroundings steadily came into view as he cracked open bleary eyes and steeled himself against the brightness coming through his window. The first thing he saw was the Hawaiian shirt hung up on his wall, and then the pulp fiction poster (another gift from Revy). All seemed to be in order until he took stock of the room to his left. The normal tidy nature of his living space was tarnished with an overturned night stand; which in turn splayed a couple weeks worth of cigarette butts and a handful of empty beer cans about his floor. Next to his bed seemed to be the explanation, his shoes in close proximity to his night stand. He surmised that in trying to hold the night stand for support to take his shoes off, he had pulled it over.
Rock sighed to himself, in no mood to clean up at the present moment. He would save it for later. Reaching over to his window sill, he grabbed his lighter and cigarettes for a morning smoke.
THUD!
"Rise and shine, Rock!"
He felt his head jerk up painfully fast at the sudden intrusion, almost levitating from the bed in startled fright as the peaceful bubble of morning was shattered with all the finesse of a charging elephant. He stammered, struggling momentarily to regain his composure as he looked up at her. He took in the way she jaunted into the room, uncaring of his broken door hinges; the way her eyes gleamed with excitement for the day ahead. A true rarity for the gunslinger.
"How are you this cheerful after all that?" He grumbled into his pillow, becoming more aware by the moment of the tiny construction crew that must've been jackhammering away inside of his skull. Revy only offered the most devilish of chuckles in response, taunting "Aww…did poor Rocky Baby have too much rum?" and then an open guffaw "Maybe you should take whiskey next time."
Any retort he had died on his tongue as quickly as it had formed as he felt himself get playfully flipped into the floor along with his mattress, yelping as he went.
"Seize the fuckin' day, dipshit!" Revy offered once more before the sound of her retreating boots filled the hall. Rock spent several deliberating moments pondering the merits of attempting to crawl back into bed for at least another hour. Eventually, his need for an aspirin was the swing vote in his internal debate and he begrudgingly picked himself up off the floor. Was this how Revy felt when he was usually the one to wake her up?
After spending a few precious minutes to pull himself together and reform the businessman persona, Rock softly trudged down the hallway in search of the rest of the crew. When the office appeared empty except for Revy, sprawled on the couch lazily reading one of her comics, Rock became curious.
"Where are Dutch and Benny?"
Revy sat up to make Room for Rock on his favored couch cushion. She shrugged with disinterest as she answered him, "Dutch had some work to do on the boat and Benny's off somewhere cyber-fucking that red dot chick."
"You mean Jane?" Rock asked, smiling ever so slightly at her crude nickname while stealing a slice of pizza from the box of left overs on the coffee table.
Revy waved him off dismissively, an unlit cigarette between her fingers. "Yeah, yeah…"
"So, its just you and me today, then?" Rock asked rhetorically after several minutes of companionable silence. He didn't understand why, but for some reason he'd always found the prospect of spending time alone with Revy alluring. He chalked it up to his curious nature and the unquenched need to know a little more about the enigmatic femme fatale he'd come to call his best friend.
"Why?" She looked at him with an arched eyebrow, fake indignance oozing from her as she toyed with him. "Did you have somewhere better to be? Don't tell me ya been fuckin' that whore of a nun."
"No! No!" Rock nervously waved his hands in the air between them, taking the bait. "It's just that you usually have something in mind when we have a day off."
Revy let a smile slip, her jovial attitude from earlier that morning making a reappearance. "Well, Rock, you guessed right…." He watched her uncross her legs and walk over to the counter, holding up a piece of paper with Dutch's unmistakable handwriting on it. "But first we got shit to do. Look alive, Rocky boy!"
He jumped as she suddenly threw the keys to the GTO in his direction, which he fumbled for momentarily before following her out into the beautifully filthy city they called home.