HAPPY ANNIVERSARY NILLY!
Im not even gonna start telling you how awesome you are and how glad I am that we met. So I'll just leave it with that I love you and I hope we'll be married forever. *giggles* 3
Internet marrieds FTW!
The hall ways of Seattle grace were filled with life. Interns trying to find their way around, residents yelling at them, enjoying the fact that they could, attendings moving between patients. It was the morning rounds hour, one of the busiest times of the day.
Calm was settled over the second floor how ever, almost empty of life. Just a couple of interns hurrying out from the locker room, late for rounds, and an older woman, out on her usual morning walk.
She passed the resident launch, which was nearly empty, except from a woman sitting on one of the benches, leaning back against the cubby behind her, her eyes closed. Her dark blonde hair fell in soft waves to her shoulders, and she was wearing light blue scrubs, the top just a little bit too big.
"What's going on with you?"
A voice filled the silent room, startling Meredith to open her eyes. "Huh?" She watched the other woman walk over to the cubby across from hers, turning her head to raise en eyebrow at her.
"Nothing." Meredith said, shaking her head just as a big yawn escaped her lips.
Cristina chuckled, turning back to her cubby. "Oh, I get it. Derek keeping you up at night?"
"I wish." Meredith sighed, standing up. She wouldn't have minded to be kept up at night by her husband.
Cristina frowned lightly, putting a stethoscope around her neck. "If you and Derek haven't been breaking any headboards lately, than what's with the yawning?"
"It's Alex and Izzie." Meredith said, her voice dripping with tiredness and frustration. "They had a huge fight. Went on for hours."
"Well," Cristina shrugged, "You did let Izzie move back into her old room."
Meredith shrugged on her white coat. "Yes, I did. Because she's my friend and I wasn't going to let her wander around on the street. Plus, Alex didn't want her to sleep in the trailer alone. Besides, I thought it be good for them, living under the same roof. That they would make up and be you know, the 'bright and shiny, survived cancer couple' again." She reached behind her, putting her hair up.
Cristina rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It's not like they won't make up. They are Alex and Izzie. The most twisted couple I know, after you and Derek, of course." She added, smirking.
Meredith let the comment slip, sighing. "I don't know. It's different this time."
***
"Alex…"
Slamming the chart down on the desk by the nurses' station, Alex stared blankly at it.
"Alex."
She said his name again, a light tremble coming over her voice. She knew she should stay away. After the huge fight they'd had the night before, the easiest thing would have been to be as far away from each other as possible. But she couldn't just stop. She couldn't just give up.
"Leave, Iz." He snapped, avoiding her gaze.
She swallowed, closing her eyes. "I can't just…"
"Really? Cause it seemed very easy for you." He bit off, halting her words. What he said wasn't true. It hadn't been easy. It had been impulsive and felt right at the time, but it had been far from easy. Staying away had been even harder.
"You know it wasn't like that." She said quietly, begging for him to look at her, to let her explain her self. She didn't want to have to yell what she wanted to say. The yelling wasn't working. "We both said stupid things we regret last night…"
"I didn't." He put the chart away, still not looking at her. "I meant everything I said."
Her eyes dropped to the floor, and the air seemed to get thicker. "You don't mean that." She whispered, feeling tears burn in her eyes.
She'd cried a lot, the past couple of weeks. The fighting was hurting her in ways she couldn't explain, but still felt. The fact that her husband couldn't even look at her broke her already broken heart even more.
She had lost the right to blame anyone but her self though, lost the right to be hurt. She was the one who'd broken him, and she knew that. Knew it wasn't fair, that she wasn't allowed to complain. It was all her fault.
She had left the person who loved her most in the world just because. Left the only one who hadn't left her side for a second during her cancer.
He started to leave, and she bit back a sob. "Don't walk away from me." She begged, pleading in her voice.
He ignored her and continued to walk, his body tense. He was pulling away. She was slowly losing him. And it was her fault.
***
Alex's jaw twisted as he walked away from the woman that had turned his world around. The woman that had made him believe he was more than just an ass. The woman who had taken his heart and smashed it to the floor.
It was the later that was all he could see. She had broken him, worse than anyone else had before. And it pissed him off.
What pissed him off even more was the fact that he still loved her. She didn't deserve it, after what she'd done, but he couldn't just make it magically disappear. But he couldn't look at her. Because when he did, all he could feel was the hurt.
"Alex, stop!"
Her voice had lost some of its shakiness, and the words were firmer. "We need to talk."
He tried to shout her out, but she grabbed his wrist, stopping him. He turned around and met her gaze. Her eyes were fighting tears, but her stare was strong.
His jaw twisted again, but he grabbed her arm, leading her across the hall towards an on call room. He pushed her inside before he went in him self, letting his gaze wander down the hall before he slammed the door shout.
***
"See. Told you they'd make up."
Cristina said, from where she and Meredith had been watching them. Meredith shook her head with a light chuckle. Cristina watched the closed door, and soon an evil grin spread in her face.
***
"Why can't you just leave me alone?"
He snapped, glaring at her. She swallowed, glaring back. "Because I love you." She snapped back.
Alex looked away, his jaw twisting. "No you don't." He said, his voice shaking of anger. She was taken back for a second, before the anger bubbled up in her for real.
"I don't? You think I would go through this shit if I didn't!?"
"You love me?! Well, you have a shitty way of showing it!" He yelled, cutting her off. "Im so freaking tired of this, Izzie! I can't love for both of us! I can't do this anymore."
"What does that mean? You want a divorce!?" She yelled back, tears making her eyesight blurry.
"Im not the one who threw our marriage away like a bag of trash!" He yelled loudly, not caring if people passing by heard. The words clearly shook Izzie, who fell silent.
Her eyes dropped to the floor and she started to tremble slightly. He swallowed hard and turned to the door, grabbing the door knob. He needed to get as far away from her as possible. It was getting too far. He couldn't breathe, felt like his lungs were filled up.
Izzie was sobbing quietly, but raised her head when she heard him mumble something while trying to twist the knob. His body was tense and she just wanted to touch him, tell him everything was gonna be okay. She wanted it all to be over.
"What's wrong?" She whispered, whipping at her cheeks. She took a step closer, but winced and stilled when he tensed even more. "I can't open the door." He muttered, twisting the knob again. "It's locked."
***
"Cristina!" Meredith gasped, her eyes wide. Cristina shrugged, putting the key back in the pocket of her white coat.
"It's really simple to lock these from the outside." She shot Meredith a grin, before she leaned against the wall next to the door, her arms folded across her chest. Meredith shook her head, a faint smile on her lips. "You sure about this?"
"He can't run. And she has to hear him out. This is the way. Im sure." Seeing Meredith's surprised gaze, she shrugged easily. "I have my moments."
***
Kicking against the door, Alex growled. "Yang, Grey, I know you're out there!"
He started pacing again, an angry frown on his face. Izzie sat on one of the beds, watching him sadly. When he kicked the door again, making a faint grimace, she swallowed. "You're hurting your self, stop it."
"Like you would care…" Alex muttered quietly, but still loud enough for her to hear. He stopped walking, turning to her. "Where you in on this?" He asked, glaring at her.
"Forcing you to be locked in with the wife you hate? No, I wasn't in on it, Alex." She bit off, and looked away when he turned his back on her. "And I do care," she added quietly.
Alex didn't answer, and the room fell into an uncomfortable silence.
After what felt like hours, Alex gave up his staring contest with the door, and leaned back against the wall. He looked down at the floor.
Izzie traced the fabric covering the bed with her fingertips, biting her lip. "Im sorry, Alex." She said quietly, honestly. She looked up, trying to meet his eyes with hers. "Im so sorry."
He didn't move or talk, but she could see his shoulders sink slightly. Taking it as a good sign, she went on.
"I… I know Im not the best wife you could have, and you deserve so much better… I know that. But… You don't get to think for a second that I don't love you."
By the end of the sentence, her voice was trembling. He didn't move, but he was listening, and that was enough for her.
"I wouldn't have married you if I didn't think you… you were the love of my life."
"Im not." His voice startled her, dark and low, "I may be the guy you decided to marry, but Im not him."
Her eyes begged desperately for his, but he still looked anywhere but at her. "Who?" She whispered, but she already had a pretty good idea about whom he was talking about. And that broke her heart.
He was silent for a moment, before he swallowed, finally looking up at her. "Im not Denny." Pain flashed in his beautiful eyes, as well as sorrow, making her eyes burn.
"Im not the guy you risked your career to save. I didn't make you fall so hard. Im the other guy. The guy you had to settle for because you couldn't have him."
It all came down on her. When she opened her mouth to tell him it wasn't true, that she'd never done anything to make him think that, no words left her lips. Because that was what she'd been doing. Ever since he died, that was what she had done, and she hadn't even seen it her self.
More tears filled her eyes when she realized how much she'd hurt the man in front of her. How stupid she'd been. How she'd ruined the only relationship where her heart had been involved for real, because she just didn't know how to control her feelings. No. She hadn't ruined it yet. There was still a chance.
"Alex…" She rose of the bed, and kept her eyes locked with his. "It's not true." He swallowed, looking away. But she had already reached him, and when she took his face in her hands, he let her title his head so he had to look at her.
Thankful that he was letting her touch him, she composed her self, blinking the tears. "It's not true. You are my guy. You're the guy I want. Im still here. With you."
"Iz… We both know that if he was alive you wouldn't…"
"I'd might have made my world's biggest mistake and married him." She said, silencing him. Gently brushing her thumb along his jaw, she looked deep into his eyes.
"And I might have stayed with him, but… I would never have stopped loving you."
His eyes started fighting tears, and his finger gently wrapped her wrists, removing her hands of his face. Her heart sank. "Alex…"
"You left, Iz. I… You left a note. A note! You know what, that doesn't even matter. What matters is… You left me."
Letting out a small sob, she shook her head, reaching for him. He backed away though, making her cry harder. "Alex, please…" She begged.
He looked at her, his eyes filled with sadness. He ran a hand down his neck, staring at the floor for a moment. "I want a divorce." He said it quietly, but Izzie felt like he'd yelled. She felt like someone had kicked her repeatedly in the gut. She couldn't breathe.
"No." She whispered, staring at him in panic. "No, you don't mean that."
He turned away, but she quickly moved to block the door in an instinct, even though she knew he couldn't walk away.
"Izzie…"
"Im not letting you do this to me." She said between sobs. "I know I screwed up, okay? I know I hurt you, but you… You can't do this… You can't do this to me."
She closed the space between them, cupping his face between her hands while tears ran down her cheeks. "Please… Don't leave me... Please…" Her hands fell of his face to rest against his arms as she lowered her head. He was going to leave. She had lost him.
Gently, he lowered his head to place his forehead against hers, cupping her face between his hands. She let out a sob and looked up into his eyes. The look she was met by was pure and filled with love. It took her breath away. She leaned in closer so their foreheads were pressed against each others, letting out a shaky breath as she closed her eyes.
"You better not still want that divorce." She whispered, and she heard a low chuckle coming from him.
Alex gently titled her head upwards, placing his lips against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as her lips joined, kissing him back with what she hoped was the same love and passion he made her feel. They kissed until the need for oxygen became too big, and pulled away slowly, both smiling.
"I love you." She told him softly, her nose nuzzling against his. "I love you too." He murmured, pulling her close into another kiss.
***
"Did you hear that?"
Cristina grinned big, raising her eyebrows at Meredith.
Meredith smiled. "Alright, it was a great idea."
Cristina's grin went wider. "Told you."
She turned to the door, but just as she was about to unlock it, they heard a soft moaning of Alex name on the other side, making her freeze. Hearing a pleasure filled groan fallowed by a dirty sounding giggle, Cristina quickly back away, with a face of disgust.
Meredith was almost bending over with laughter, her eyes sparkling. "Yes Cristina, thank you, things are just like they are supposed to be."
Cristina shot her a glare, before she brushed past her, leaving a giggling Meredith by the door.
***
