"Listen dude, I really think I could make this into a career," Kylo said as he sucked the last of his superfood smoothie down.
Hux gave him an incredulous look. "But what about the First Order? And all the murders you want to do?"
Kylo shrugged and rolled his eyes. "I just can't stay away from these sick beats," he said, as he tossed his smoothie cup into the sink, where it rattled among the other dirty dishes. Hux gave Kylo a look that said 'y u no do the dishes yo', but Kylo was deep in thought about his next rhyme.
"Just listen, bro," Kylo said. Hux gave him a look that said, 'y u gotta do dis to me, we been frens for so long and my dad even helped pay for your jedi skool and this is how you repay me?'
Kylo queued up a sick beat on his star wars mp3 player. The bass beat rattled the chandelier. Kylo opened his mouth, while Hux preemptively cringed.
"My name is Kylo, Kylo Ren!
My dumbass parents named me Ben!
I killed my dad,
My mom was sad,
My rapping game is not a fad!"
Kylo looked expectantly at Hux, who quickly uncringed his face and said "Wow Kylo, that uh, that was great. Really something."
Kylo's face fell. "You don't like it? You don't like it."
"N-no, it was-it was great!" Hux stuttered, but it was too late. Kylo stood up and held his hand out. Hux grasped at his neck and gasped as Kylo began the totally not sexy force choke on him as he yelled,
"I RULE THIS EMPIRE
NOTHING RYHMES WITH EMPIRE!
I'LL KILL YA SO FAST
YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE A BE-EH-TER LIAR!
I'M SO SICK
WITH MY RED LASER STICK
FRICK
FRICK
FRICK!"
A moment before Hux like died from no air, Kylo released his force chokehold. Hux crumpled to the ground, gasping for breath.
"Sorry man," Kylo said, shrugging. "Sometimes the word just grabs hold of ya, and ya gotta go for the ride."
Hux said nothing bc he still could barely fuckin' breathe! Like give the man a minute!
Kylo Ren's cellphone beeped. He unlocked the screen. It was from Rey. Two words.
"U up?"