Disclaimer: They're hers not mine.

I SCREAMED YOUR NAME

It has been seven weeks from hell. I was on a mission that was fucked up before I even left.

I crept back into town, hoping no one would even notice. Of course, I called Tank, this morning to let him know that I made it through the mission and I was coming home.

All I really wanted to do was wrap myself around a blue eyed brunette with crazy wild curls. Bury myself deep inside her and forget the past seven weeks had even happened. That wasn't going to happen, though. When I asked how she was, Tank told me she moved in with the cop two weeks after I left. "Sorry, man." He said. "But, it's no one's fault but your own."

Can't say that I blame her. I wasn't very nice to her the day I left. I said some pretty harsh things to her. I told her I didn't want her. God, how far from the truth that was.

There was less that a one percent chance I would return from this one. It was a suicide mission. I was told going in we would not return. But if, by some slim chance, I did survive, I was free. No more government contracts. No more leaving at the spur of the moment and no more missions.

I had some crazy idea that if I left with her angry with me that it would be easier for her when I didn't come home. Yeah, I know men can be stupid sometimes.

I spent the last seven weeks promising myself that if I got out of this alive, I would come back and make her understand how much I loved her. I would spend everyday for the rest of my life showing her how much I wanted her.

I never expected there would be a kink in my plan. I never expected her to move in with the cop. I guess it served me right, though.

My first instinct was to drive by her apartment just to see if she might be there. I shoved that thought out of my mind. If I was going to get used to my life without her in it, I might as well start now. God, I almost wished I would've died in that God forsaken hell hole. I'd rather be dead than to watch her with him. I'd rather be dead than to be without her

I was exhausted, I felt like I had been beaten for three days straight, my head was pounding and I had an ache in my heart that felt like it was crushing my chest.

I just wanted to get to my apartment, unnoticed. I wanted a shower and then I wanted to drink until I passed out; hoping I wouldn't wake up until the hurt was gone.

I walked into my apartment, dropping my bag at the door and headed toward my bedroom. I froze when I opened my bedroom door. It was as dark as the darkest night in my room, but with the light shinning in from the hallway, I could see that the covers were crumpled in the middle of the bed. There was a pair of legs hanging out one end and wild dark curls spilling out the other end. I couldn't see the face, but I knew who it was. How could I ever forget those legs? I remember so well what it felt like to have them wrapped around me.

I quietly slipped into the chair in the corner of my room and watched. Oh, Babe, what are you doing here? Did you have a fight with the cop or do you have another crazy after you? I thought. I didn't know which reason I would rather it be. If she had a fight with him, she'd probably wake up in the morning and be on her way to make up with him. If she had a crazy after her that would mean she was in danger, but at least she'd be here, with me until the danger was over.

She started to stir. The covers coming down and revealing her beautiful face. She pushed the hair out her face and threw the covers off of her. She was wearing a black Rangeman t-shirt. Mine, she was wearing my t-shirt. "Ranger." She mumbled.

Funny how even in her sleep, she knew when I was near.

I looked around the room. None of her stuff was here, so she must've left in a hurry. Then I noticed the streaks of mascara on her face and the tear stains on my pillow. Yep, that sums it up…fight with the cop.

She rustled around some more, mumbling something unrecognizable. Her facial expressions constantly changing. She rolled to her side and her eyes slowly opened.

"Ranger."

"Yeah, Babe, I'm here." I moved toward the bed.

"I'm sorry, Ranger, I know you don't want me…" She trailed off. "…I know you don't want me here. I'm sorry; I just didn't have anywhere to go.

I didn't think you'd be here. I had no where else to go. I had the electricity turned off at my apartment. There were no apartments available on the fourth floor and I couldn't go to my parents' house. I just didn't feel like explaining things to my mom. And, well it's your fault I don't have anywhere to stay." She rambled. "Tank said it was ok."

"Babe, it's ok."

"I'll go sleep on the sofa and I'll be gone in the morning."

"Babe, it's ok. I don't mind. You can stay as long as you need."

I moved toward the bed. She looked away. I sat on the bed next to her. Placing my fingers under chin, I used them to turn her to face me. "Tell me, Babe."

She lowered her head and stared at the sheets in her hand. She was twisting them around in her hands. Tears started trickling down her face.

"Babe, tell me how it's my fault you don't have anywhere to go."

"Well, I don't know if you know…I moved in with Joe." She started.

"I knew."

"Of course you knew. I forgot you know everything.

Anyway, about five weeks ago. It was just after you left. Joe called me. He asked me to have dinner with him. He actually took me out."

This is the last thing I wanted to hear. But, she wanted to talk about it so I would listen and it may give me the reason she's here and not at the cop's house.

"So, we went out. He asked me to give him another chance. He wanted us to try. I asked if we could take it slow and get to know one another again. He agreed and when he brought me home, I stayed up half the night thinking about it.

I figured my mom was right. He was my last hope. He was the only one who wanted me. It was either make it work with Joe or I was going to be alone for the rest of my life."

God, if she only knew he wasn't the only one. If she only knew how much I wanted her. Damn it, why was I so stupid. If I just had told her before I left I loved her.

"I called him the next day and told him I really wanted "us" to work. That weekend he was moving my stuff into his house.

It was a strain at first. He was working long hours, mostly nights and I was trying to adjust to everything."

I honestly don't know how much more of this I can listen to. This is killing me. It should've been my house she was moving into, not his. Fuck, she should be mine, not his.

"Well, last night Joe decided to surprise me. He took the night off so that we could spend the evening together. You know, order pizza, watch a game and…you know."

Ok, things just got worse. If I have to sit here and listen to them having sex, I don't know if I can stand it. I mean I'm sure they're having sex. Hell, they're living together. I just don't want to hear about it. I would be having sex with her every chance I got if she was living with me. No, I wouldn't…I'd be making love to her.

"I had been trying to avoid the situation. It was pretty easy…"

"Babe, are you telling me you've been living with Morelli for five weeks and you haven't slept with him?"

"Well, it's kinda complicated. You know…he was working nights and I was gone most of the day. Usually he was coming as I was going or he was going as I was coming. We were rarely at home at the same time."

Maybe I did want to hear this story. If she's been living with him and not having sex with him, there's a reason.

"Anyway…last night there was no way to avoid him. I don't know why, but it didn't feel right. There wasn't that connection, you know?

So we went up stairs. He started kissing me. Then he…well he was touching me and then he…I went with it but just really wasn't into it. I did the best I could to pretend I was enjoying it. Then he started moaning and talking dirty to me, 'this is it, Cupcake; I'm cumming, cum with me, Cupcake. Oh God, you feel so good'."

I feel sick to my stomach. God, help me but I'm jealous. God, the thought of his hands on her…him kissing her….him inside of her, makes me ill. It should be me…it would be if I would've just told her. We'd be making love right now. She wouldn't be faking what she was feeling though. I'd make sure she'd be all into it.

Fucking Morelli. How could he keep going if she was enjoying it? How could he not tell? I would've known. If he wasn't so worried about satisfying himself, he would've noticed.

"It just wasn't happening. I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder. I went somewhere I didn't have to pretend. Then I felt it. Oh God, it was like the most amazing feeling..."

STOP, I wanted to scream. I can't listen to this. I don't want to hear about another man making you scream. Damn it…fucking son-of-a-bitch…mother fucking…shit. My mind tuned out what she was saying.

"As my body began to tremble, I screamed. Only it wasn't his name I screamed."

Whoa that caught my attention. Who, Babe, whose name did you scream, I wanted to shout. Dear God, please let it be mine. I know I'm a cold bastard, but I wanted it to be my name so bad.

"At first he didn't realize what I said until I said it again. I didn't mean to. It just happened. He got really angry. He told me to get out. He didn't even want to give me a chance to get dressed. He just kept screaming at me."

God, how long is this story going to last. Please, Babe, just put me out of my misery and tell me whose name you screamed. Tell me; please just tell me it was my name that came from your lips.

"So, I managed to grab my close off the floor on my way out the bedroom. I put them on as fast as I could and got the hell out of there.

After I ran out the house, I realized I had no where to go. So, I came here. Tank and Lester was on night duty. I talked with them for a while and then Tank said if I wanted to stay here, it was ok. I guess he didn't know you would be back.

I planned on calling the power company tomorrow and have my electricity turned back on. I should be out of your hair in no time."

Tank knew damn well I'd be back tonight. I guess I need to give him a raise, maybe send him on an all expense paid vacation, or hell I could do both. I'll think of some kind of reward…tomorrow.

"Babe, you were having sex with Morelli and screamed another man's name when you came? How exactly is that my fault?"

Because, it was your name I screamed. Please, just let that be what she says, I prayed. Just let her say she screamed my name.

"I'll tell you why." She looked down again, and mumbled, "Because it was your name I screamed."

Oh yes, there is a God in heaven.

THE END