Greetings! I'm AngelQueen and this is my first Star Trek: Voyager story. I've read them but never wrote any. I also have the privilege of being both a Trekkie and a Star Wars fan.

Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager. That wonderful ship is own by Paramount.

As many of you know, the series finale for Voyager, Endgame, was on May 23, 2001. The end of this chapter in Star Trek History. If you haven't seen it yet, you might want to watch it first. This contains a few spoilers for Endgame, Resolutions, and Scorpion. This is just a small Janeway introspective piece on the ::AngelQueen shudders:: Chakotay/Seven relationship. But please remember, I'm not trying to slam 'Endgame.' With the exception of the above mentioned, I loved the season finale.

June 1, 2001~ I've made a few revisions!

Here we go!

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Why did she tell me? All right, granted, she was only trying to convince me to forget the Borg and take Voyager home. Still, she could have just told me that Seven was going to die. That enough would've gotten my attention. But she told me the entire truth.

Did she see the pain that momentarily flashed in my eyes? Of course she did. She is, or rather, was, me. She knows the pain of knowing that you lost someone you love.

So that's where he's been lately. He's canceled two of our weekly dinners, plus turned me down for a breakfast of sampling Ensign Chell's culinary attempts.

I don't blame him. I've kept him at arm's length ever since our first big encounter with the Borg, just before Seven came onboard. I think that was the biggest blow to us. We both were getting used to love one another when suddenly, bang! That first encounter with the Borg and Species 8472 almost cost us a friendship we found we couldn't live without.

Many things have changed over time, but that is something that hasn't. I can't live without his friendship. I almost asked the Admiral if Chakotay was alive in her future, but as her eyes bored into mine, I saw the truth. Chakotay had lived on beyond Seven, bodily anyway. But the true Chakotay, the man I call my dearest friend, must have died with her... or *will* die with her if I continue down the path that I am on. I can repeat the Admiral's mistakes, costing me two of my closest friends, or I can take the path that she is trying to lay out for us all, to give us a better life.

It really isn't a contest to choose now. The Admiral told me that Seven would die, along with over twenty other crewmembers over the next twenty years if we continue on this way. It's either face the Borg or keep going. Right now, facing the Borg seems foolish, but knowing what will happen if we don't carries too high a price.

I will not lose my dearest friends or any other members of my crew. I will have them walking on Earth within the next few days, not sixteen years from now.

I will watch my two best friends continue to develop their relationship. I just hope that it won't happen at the cost of losing other friendships, like mine with Chakotay, and Seven's with the Doctor, Icheb, and Naomi.

I had my chance with him. I didn't take it. I guess the saying, 'Those who hesitate are lost,' is true. But I know, deep down, that I will never lose him completely. The Angry Warrior may not live in him any longer, but he'll always be a part of me. And surprisingly, I'm not angry or upset that he's moved on. I've seen how they look at each other. They're happy. I can't help but be happy for them. I hope that they have the happiness that I once had.

Chirp.

I look up, distracted by my thoughts. I call for my visitor to enter as I stand.

In walks Chakotay, he's grinning. I raise an eyebrow as he hands me a PADD. The repairs have been finished. This crew works fast.

Looking up I say, "This is wonderful Commander. We should be ready to head back to the nebula tomorrow."

"Good," he replies. There is a moment of a slightly tense silence, then he asks, "Join me for dinner?"

I glance at him in surprise. He continues with a small, sheepish smile, "I've been neglecting my closest friend lately. I'd like to make up for it."

I break into a wide grin. I was right. Our time may be past, but I still have my closest friend.

I pray that I never lose that.

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Did the revisions help at all?

AngelQueen