IT has been 3 years and 5 months yet people still treat me like a fragile glass that is about to break anytime. After several counsellors, countless faceless people in white suits, tears, tantrums and change of homes, I'm now staying permanently (but I highly doubt it) with my uncle and his family. You see, I've been through something that even nightmare couldn't handle – one faithful night 3 years and 5 months ago, I have lost everything.

:::

"Oh my God Zack I've missed you so much," Aunt Carla said while trapping his only son into a bone-crushing hug, her eyes were glazed with tears and I could feel the emotion in every word.

"Chill mom. I missed you too. Aww. You're kinda hurting me." Zack said while faking a wince of pain. His mom let go abruptly.

"I'm sorry. It's just that you're always on tour with the band. You missed our birthdays. Your birthday. You spent thanksgiving somewhere else…" her mom trailed off.

I stood in a corner while a scene ripped-off from every soap opera was unfolding before me. My cousin Zack just came home from a 2 month tour in Europe with his band and being an only child a scene like this is always to be expected. After Aunt Carla did her best in rumpling Zack's smelly shirt with her hug, Uncle Mark gave his son a manly pat in the back and mumbled something that sounded like "We missed you here." His voice cracked from too much emotion and I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to leave while they were still preoccupied but without success because Zack now decided to give me that bone-crushing hug his mom just gave him.

"How are you little sis?" he asked, his biceps that is the size of my waist cushioning my face.

"Uh, technically we're cousins but to answer your question, I'm fine." I answered trying to push him away. I'm not a fun of hugs.

"By fine you mean?"

"Soon to die from asphyxiation."

"Oh alright." He let go of the hug but he held my hand instead. He stared at my face as if reading it. By the look on his eyes, I could tell he didn't like what he see.

I turned my face away. My irrational side creeping up again. He could read my mind, he could read my thoughts. But I guessed I'm just predictable sometimes.

"You'll be fine. And by fine I mean you'll get your old self back. The old you."

I just nodded in return. The truth is, I've been trying to do the opposite. I did not want to be my old self. Hell I don't want to be myself anymore. If I could trade places with anybody, just anybody, I would.

I forced my hand out of Zack's gripped. "We missed you here. It's good you're back." I said finally, my face as blank as peeled potato. "I'll be hiding in my room." I turned my heels before anyone could say anything.

I lingered a bit but I made sure nobody could see me.

"How is she?" Zack asked in almost hushed tone. I couldn't see him but judging by his tone, I could imagine the creased eyebrow and the small frown playing in his face.

"Jen is actually better. She's eating now and talking to people—not so hostile now to the people that comes here to check on her. She's improved a lot. She even tutored the kids next door." The old woman replied her eyes fixated the way I went out. I made sure she couldn't see me. "But we're worried, there's this thing…."

I decide I didn't want to hear anymore and sped up to my room.

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