''I´m tired of it. I´m tired of this sicken feeling, loneliness…"

This sentence circles in my mind, mockingly. I lazily bury my face into my folded arms. `The vodka must be sinking in now.´ I smile to myself. It must be because if I was sober, I wouldn´t be drowning in self-pity right now. I know better than to do something so pointless. But vodka shows people´s true colours, their true emotions. Luckily, no one is here to witness my moment of what I can only call pure stupidity…

I found him at a bar after the meeting, drowning himself in vodka. His head is down on the bar counter, face buried in his coat sleeves. I stare at him for a moment before taking a seat next to him at the bar. He lifts his head, looking over to me, ''China? What are you doing here?''

''To get a drink just like you aru.'' I replied. "Bartender, one gin please." Russia smiled slightly, resting his head on his hand.

"Huh. You don't really strike me as a person who drinks frequently."

"Yes well, after a dreadful meeting like that, a man could use a drink aru." I say bringing the glass to my lips. He replies with a quiet, "yes, that's true…" I glance over at him to see why he suddenly fell silent. His violet eyes are fixed on his cup and are glazed over from the vodka he drank. He has a pleasant smile plastered on his face, as if he's thinking of a happy distant memory. He looks happy but he's not… He's far from such an emotion, I can tell. He's been like this for quite a while. Since the Baltics left him? No, it's been longer than that…

"China?"

Russia's voice frees me from my thoughts. "Y-Yeah? What is it aru?"

He blinks "…Nothing, you just seem a bit preoccupied…"

"I'm fine, really. Wh-What about you aru?" I stutter out.

"Huh? Me? Why do you ask?"

"Well uh…you seemed a bit troubled at the meeting aru…" I said quietly, averting my gaze.

"Oh…" he mouths, looking down into his glass "Have I?"

I hesitantly look back at him with a stern look "Yes, you have aru. What's been on your mind aru?"

He looks at me with a forced smile on his face "Nothing~ I just have some things to think about."

"…You're lying aru."

His eyes widen as he looks at me, slightly shocked. "W-What…?"

I sigh and look him in his eyes "You're lying to me aru… Why won't you tell me the truth aru?" He stares back for a few seconds then turns away.

"Ha ha, I think you're had a bit too much to drink, China!" he grins playfully.

I smile back "Hm. Maybe I have aru. Alcohol can really make your tongue slip, huh?"

He nods and looks up at the ceiling, "That it can. It can also make you think things you would never think when you're sober."

I take another slow sip of my drink, "…Like what kind of things aru?"

He leans on his hand, "Like good memories, bad memories… Memories you much rather forget…" He smiles softly, tilting his head, "Things such as that…"

I look at him with concern written on my face, "…Is that what you think about?"

He keeps his gaze low, fixed on his drink. "Hm. Perhaps it is…", he mutters quietly before taking another sip.