Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter series.
Author's Note: Not only is this the shortest bit of writing I've posted, it is also quite possibly the most ridiculous. However, these things must be said about the Lestranges.
Breakfast at Bellatrix's
Bellatrix searched through the cupboards with a frown as she saw nothing but boxes of cereal.
"Why did you buy all of this Muggle crap?" she demanded, glaring at her husband.
Rodolphus peered over his morning edition of the Prophet. (Good news as always: more Muggle tortures and an alleged sighting of a basilisk.)
"I had to," he argued defensively. "May I remind you that it's your fault we don't have a house elf anymore, since you decided to throw a pair of stilettos at Binky."
Bellatrix growled in frustration as she yanked a box of Lucky Charms from the cabinet.
"Besides . . . Merlin knows you can't and won't make anything decent," he muttered.
As the other cereal boxes fell to the kitchen floor, spilling out Fruit Loops, Coco Puffs, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Bellatrix smiled.
"Breakfast is served," she sneered, with a wave to the cereal splattered floor below her.
Rodolphus, not about to be outdone, marched over to the refrigerator. With a smirk, he accioed a bottle of milk and promptly poured it all over the kitchen floor.
Bellatrix's mouth fell open in disgust. "That's revolting; do you have any idea how filthy out floor is since we no longer have house elves?"
Looking up with a mouth full of cereal, he grinned, "Well, I've slept with you, haven't I?"
He only suffered a minor concussion.
As Rod acted like a human vacuum cleaner, Bellatrix ate her cereal in peace, reading the back of the Lucky Charms box.
When she was finished she walked over to her husband, who now had an impressive milk mustache. She placed the bowl in front of him. Rod gave his wife a confused stare.
"You want to eat this?" Bellatrix nodded helpfully.
"But there's only soggy shape thingys left!" Rodolphus accused.
Bellatrix sneered at her husband, incredulous. He was easily the dumbest man in the world.
"I only like the marshmallows."