A/N: I thought up the idea to this fic right after I read a review for one of my other stories, Freakish. After thinking about it, I realized that in it I was a bit too harsh to Hikari, and did end up making her a bit OOC. I never really liked her after 02, and I've never been too sure why. It ended up getting in the way of how she was portrayed in Freakish. I wrote this fic to see if I could find a way to portray her right.
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.
Yin and Yang
By BlackSpark
Hikari's POV
It's not easy being me.
Contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. I am not as innocent as I appear. I make mistakes, just like everyone else.
But I'm always expected to make less of them.
Maybe it's because I'm the Child of Light. Maybe people think because of that, I'm supposed to act nicer than most people, more mature than most people.
But with light comes darkness. You can't have the Yin without the Yang.
Maybe that's why darkness seems to attract itself to me. Maybe it's the stronger the light, the stronger the darkness.
Mom and dad always expected a lot of me. Always were protective. If I got lower grade than usual, or acted the slightest bit different, they immediately thought something was wrong with me. They always asked what I was doing, where I was going, who I was hanging out with. Some of my friends said I was lucky, since their parents never cared about anything they did. But I felt smothered, like I had no privacy.
They were never really like that with Taichi. Maybe because as a child, I was pretty frail, maybe that's what caused them to worry more about me.
Being the Child of Light does give me some benefits. Most people seem to get along with me pretty well, and a lot of people say I'm sweet and caring. I've always worried about others before myself…which sometimes is to the point of a fault.
It reminds me of the time when Taichi took me outside to play soccer when I was still sick, when I was pretty young. Mom and dad were pretty mad at him, but I felt bad because I made them really worried and upset. I never really got mad at him because of that-I've never been one to hold grudges.
Taichi was usually a good older brother to me. He always felt a need, like mom and dad, to protect me from everything, especially my fears. Whenever I ran to Taichi in the middle of the night, he always told me some funny story to make me laugh. That was back when I was very afraid of the dark.
Sometimes I still am.
I don't always understand why. I have great friends, a great family, and a great life. What could make me so afraid and depressed?
Maybe I sometimes feel I don't live up to how I should be. Maybe because I'm too busy trying to please everyone, and end up neglecting myself, that I've begun to lose sense of who I really am. Maybe I'm confused between the Hikari everyone sees and the Hikari that's buried inside, with all her fears and insecurities that don't always show.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not like this all the time, sometimes I really am self-confident. I don't have it as bad as Ken does, and I'm thankful for that. But other times…other times I just get lost in myself, my thoughts, and sometimes the darkness just creeps up on me without warning.
I wonder if anyone notices…if anybody realizes. Ken probably understands, he knows what it's like. But the others I'm not so sure of. I haven't really talked about it a lot…usually I snap out of it and am all right again.
But it doesn't mean it's easy.
Sometimes I feel guilty-like I shouldn't be complaining. I'm luckier than most others are, shouldn't I be happier? Usually I am. Usually. I am grateful for everything that's happened to me, though. I've met such great people and got to do more in a few years than most people do in a lifetime.
Everybody has fears. Everybody makes mistakes. No one is perfect.
Including me. And that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Fears can be conquered.
And with time, I know most of mine will be.
With light comes darkness; with darkness comes light. It's the balance of things, the Yin and Yang. We need that balance, as much as some people don't want it that way. I know I wish it could be different.
But that's life. It doesn't always go the way we want it to.
I'm the Child of Light, all right.
And a very, very lucky girl.
THE END
A/N: * blinks* Wow. That was weird. Suddenly, I don't mind her so much anymore.
What do you think? Do you think I captured her correctly or messed up everything about her? Please tell me what you think, but NO FLAMES.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!