Author's Note: If you like Relena, don't read this. Just... don't, okay?
This story is heavy on the yaoi and even heavier on the Relena bashing.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
.oOo.-~('Twas the Night Before Christmas...)~-.oOo.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and through Quatre's estate...
Not a pilot was stirring, at least not THIS late.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
And Duo's was biggest, to make sure he got his share.
Heero and Duo were nestled all snug in their bed,
And their strange nighttime noises noises filled poor Wufei's head.
Hearing Quatre in a nighty sitting in Trowa's lap
Was making this NOT Wufei's best Christmas nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Wufei grabbed his sword to destroy the cause of the matter.
Still a bit drowsy, he tripped down the stairs,
Knocked over a table, and banged his knee on a chair.
He finally got to the front door below,
Freezing his ass off in the newfallen snow.
When what to his sleep-deprived mind should be seen,
But a strange man in a suit and an eight course cuisine.
He glared at the man but a sound wouldn't dare,
For he knew it was Santa, not like he really cared.
But he knew in a moment this wasn't quite right,
Santa was a little too thin, and wore the suit much too tight.
"Stupid rockets, bad landing... is this really the place?"
Wufei saw at that time Santa had a feminine face.
"These cheap plastic reindeer, at least they stayed on!"
Wufei wondered what psycho had landed in Quatre's lawn.
He hid in the closet as the person came through the door
And carefully disgarded snowy boots on the floor.
It was then he realized with disgust and much fear,
Relena Darlian had come to wreck their Christmas cheer!
He followed quite swiftly as she trekked through the place,
Searching, most certainly, for Heero's own face.
Of course, Wufei knew that what she would find
Was not exactly what SHE had in mind.
It didn't take long to find that one room,
And Wufei stood back to avoid the forthcoming doom.
She was very careful in opening the door,
But when she looked in, her jaw went through the floor.
Her eyes wide as saucers, not knowing what to say;
Relena had found Heero and Duo at 'play'.
Her curt little mouth was twisted in shock,
Her face was as white as Duo's new socks.
"Omae o korosu!" a pissed Heero glared,
But Relena did not run, too shocked to be scared.
Stepping away from Duo, he fished out a rifle,
Deciding to get rid of this little trifle.
Then a chase scene began unlike Wufei had thought,
Relena in Santa clothes and Heero in naught.
There were gunshots, and curses, and pleas for one's life.
And then a gunshot and silence that cut like a knife.
Heero spoke not a word, but just buried the body,
Then went back to Duo and their nighttime hobbies.
Wufei shook his head and tread back to his room,
Happy that now all the insanity was through.
He nestled comfortably into his old bed to sleep,
But realized something was there and it peeped.
He found Sally there, and then grinned to the sight...
"Merry Christmas my ass, but this sure makes my night!"
.oOo.-~(Owari)~-.oOo.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
.oOo.-~('Twas the Night Before Christmas...)~-.oOo.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and through Quatre's estate...
Not a pilot was stirring, at least not THIS late.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
And Duo's was biggest, to make sure he got his share.
Heero and Duo were nestled all snug in their bed,
And their strange nighttime noises noises filled poor Wufei's head.
Hearing Quatre in a nighty sitting in Trowa's lap
Was making this NOT Wufei's best Christmas nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Wufei grabbed his sword to destroy the cause of the matter.
Still a bit drowsy, he tripped down the stairs,
Knocked over a table, and banged his knee on a chair.
He finally got to the front door below,
Freezing his ass off in the newfallen snow.
When what to his sleep-deprived mind should be seen,
But a strange man in a suit and an eight course cuisine.
He glared at the man but a sound wouldn't dare,
For he knew it was Santa, not like he really cared.
But he knew in a moment this wasn't quite right,
Santa was a little too thin, and wore the suit much too tight.
"Stupid rockets, bad landing... is this really the place?"
Wufei saw at that time Santa had a feminine face.
"These cheap plastic reindeer, at least they stayed on!"
Wufei wondered what psycho had landed in Quatre's lawn.
He hid in the closet as the person came through the door
And carefully disgarded snowy boots on the floor.
It was then he realized with disgust and much fear,
Relena Darlian had come to wreck their Christmas cheer!
He followed quite swiftly as she trekked through the place,
Searching, most certainly, for Heero's own face.
Of course, Wufei knew that what she would find
Was not exactly what SHE had in mind.
It didn't take long to find that one room,
And Wufei stood back to avoid the forthcoming doom.
She was very careful in opening the door,
But when she looked in, her jaw went through the floor.
Her eyes wide as saucers, not knowing what to say;
Relena had found Heero and Duo at 'play'.
Her curt little mouth was twisted in shock,
Her face was as white as Duo's new socks.
"Omae o korosu!" a pissed Heero glared,
But Relena did not run, too shocked to be scared.
Stepping away from Duo, he fished out a rifle,
Deciding to get rid of this little trifle.
Then a chase scene began unlike Wufei had thought,
Relena in Santa clothes and Heero in naught.
There were gunshots, and curses, and pleas for one's life.
And then a gunshot and silence that cut like a knife.
Heero spoke not a word, but just buried the body,
Then went back to Duo and their nighttime hobbies.
Wufei shook his head and tread back to his room,
Happy that now all the insanity was through.
He nestled comfortably into his old bed to sleep,
But realized something was there and it peeped.
He found Sally there, and then grinned to the sight...
"Merry Christmas my ass, but this sure makes my night!"
.oOo.-~(Owari)~-.oOo.