Once upon a time there lived a girl named Cinderstella. Cinderstella lived with her step-mother and two step-sisters. Contrary to the popular belief, Cinderstella was rude and bossy, and forced her step-family to slave around the house all day. She would make them do the dishes, sweep and wash the floors, wash the windows, cook, dust, and more, while she would have a beer and horde all of the chocolate chip cookies. Honestly, the nerve!
One day, a royal mailman came to their door one day and gave them a gold colored envelope. Cinderstella demanded to have it "this instant, you little worms!"
"Ooooooh, a royal Much Music Video Dance, how ingenious! What's this? To find a bride for the son of the "Burger KING"?! Oh, I simply must be his wife!" cried Cinderstella.
"Cinderstella, can...can I go too?" asked the eldest sister, sheepishly.
"Of course NOT, silly. You all have to stay at home and clean. Besides, it says right here, 'inviting all the beautiful ladies' and that certainly does not mean you. Now get back to work." Then, the step-mother stepped up, but that ended up with her doing dishes for an entire month, and leaving the fight with her head to the floor, as she silently mumbled profanity.
The night of the dance, Cinderstella left good and early so that she would be seen by the "prince" you might say. But the others wished to go so much. Then out of the blue, sparks of light were springing around the room, and who should appear, but their fairy godfather. He was a short, chubby man dressed in a pink tutu and tights. He had grey hair, and was balding. He smelled of cheap liquor. And he spoke with a cheap Italian accent.
"Hey, there ladies, I am your fairy godfather, here to guide you on your way" he said unenthusiastically, and sounding quite tired and bored."Here are your outfits, glass shoes, be careful with those, and carriages. Now go because the dresses only last until midnight, they're from _______________ --- (insert least favorite store name here)."
So off the girls went. And when they got to the "royal palace" the place was packed with thousands of girls hoping to at least walk away with a free burger.
The prince walked around, danced a bit with every girl, and was almost done, thinking no one was suitable, until he saw Cinderstella and her step-family. He danced with Cinderstella first, but cast her aside at the sight of the two step- sisters. He decided he would marry both of them. But just as he bent down on one knee, he let out the biggest fart you have ever heard, and the smelliest too. The girls all ran off, and one of the sisters left a glass slipper on the front step of the restaraunt.
The next day, the prince drove around all day, hoping to find the people who had fit the glass slipper the prvious night. When he finally got to Cinderstella's house, the step-sisters were locked in a secret room, so no one would see them. Cinderstella was intent on winning over the heart of the "prince". When the slipper went on, it was a very tight fit, but Cinderstella just grinned and beared it. Then, the two step-sisters screamed "let us out, let us OUT!!!!" They did not know that the charming fella that they had met last night was there. When he let them out, and asked them to try on the shoe, they both acted as if the shoe was too small. Why, if he was uptight and polite the night before, what would he REALLY be like? When he saw that the shoe didn't fit, he took Cinderstella as his bride. They had many rude and bossy children together in their wonderfully clean ( I wonder why!!) house.
THE END
One day, a royal mailman came to their door one day and gave them a gold colored envelope. Cinderstella demanded to have it "this instant, you little worms!"
"Ooooooh, a royal Much Music Video Dance, how ingenious! What's this? To find a bride for the son of the "Burger KING"?! Oh, I simply must be his wife!" cried Cinderstella.
"Cinderstella, can...can I go too?" asked the eldest sister, sheepishly.
"Of course NOT, silly. You all have to stay at home and clean. Besides, it says right here, 'inviting all the beautiful ladies' and that certainly does not mean you. Now get back to work." Then, the step-mother stepped up, but that ended up with her doing dishes for an entire month, and leaving the fight with her head to the floor, as she silently mumbled profanity.
The night of the dance, Cinderstella left good and early so that she would be seen by the "prince" you might say. But the others wished to go so much. Then out of the blue, sparks of light were springing around the room, and who should appear, but their fairy godfather. He was a short, chubby man dressed in a pink tutu and tights. He had grey hair, and was balding. He smelled of cheap liquor. And he spoke with a cheap Italian accent.
"Hey, there ladies, I am your fairy godfather, here to guide you on your way" he said unenthusiastically, and sounding quite tired and bored."Here are your outfits, glass shoes, be careful with those, and carriages. Now go because the dresses only last until midnight, they're from _______________ --- (insert least favorite store name here)."
So off the girls went. And when they got to the "royal palace" the place was packed with thousands of girls hoping to at least walk away with a free burger.
The prince walked around, danced a bit with every girl, and was almost done, thinking no one was suitable, until he saw Cinderstella and her step-family. He danced with Cinderstella first, but cast her aside at the sight of the two step- sisters. He decided he would marry both of them. But just as he bent down on one knee, he let out the biggest fart you have ever heard, and the smelliest too. The girls all ran off, and one of the sisters left a glass slipper on the front step of the restaraunt.
The next day, the prince drove around all day, hoping to find the people who had fit the glass slipper the prvious night. When he finally got to Cinderstella's house, the step-sisters were locked in a secret room, so no one would see them. Cinderstella was intent on winning over the heart of the "prince". When the slipper went on, it was a very tight fit, but Cinderstella just grinned and beared it. Then, the two step-sisters screamed "let us out, let us OUT!!!!" They did not know that the charming fella that they had met last night was there. When he let them out, and asked them to try on the shoe, they both acted as if the shoe was too small. Why, if he was uptight and polite the night before, what would he REALLY be like? When he saw that the shoe didn't fit, he took Cinderstella as his bride. They had many rude and bossy children together in their wonderfully clean ( I wonder why!!) house.
THE END