Author's Ramble: That awkward moment when you want Kuroba Kaito and Kaitou Kid but can't watch "Magic Kaito" because you don't ship him with Nakamori Aoko.
Summary: Basically, Kaito getting pissed off because Shinichi's an innocent know-it-all snarker and Kaito can't admit to himself that she's a turn-on and can't use the "she's-six-you-pedo" excuse to deny the fact she's a turn-on.
Disclaimer: If I owned either, "Detective Conan" or "Magic Kaito", Shinichi and Kaito would've teamed up, fallen in love and gotten married with two kids with another one on-the-way as I type. But alas, it was not meant to be. Ces't lavi.
It was an obvious assumption that Kaitou Kid hated detectives.
Kid himself would beg to differ, however.
Sure he thought Nakamori-keibu was an idiot (Even if he was Aoko's father), and he pranked *cough*tortured*cough* Hakubaka more often than the average criminal taunted an average officer. And the rare appearance of Tantei-han, the dark-skinned loudmouth from Osaka, wasn't a complete nuisance.
And of course there was Tantei-chan, Edogawa Christie, the chibi detective.
But he never actually, completely hated any of his detectives.
He was certain of that.
Well, he was. Until Tantei-chan "left" for America, leaving him all alone, bored and chagrined.
And then Meitantei-chan returned.
He still remembered the day he started hating her.
Aoko was talking with Keiko-chan about the latest Kid heist (He should've been proud or cocky, but it felt… empty, for some reason). He crept up on her, giving a shrill shriek that made half the class turn in expectation of a girl being violently sexually assaulted.
Taking advantage of the diversion, Kaito performed his daily perversion, tumbling over his distracted classmates, his messy brown locks brushing against the classroom floor, blue-violet eyes trained on the white undergarments underneath his childhood friend's dark blue skirt, sticking the landing all in the time it took for the class to discover they've been tricked.
An art.
After realizing that instead of being a witness to sexual misconduct that she was the victim of it, the defiled childhood friend inexplicably acquired a mop from hammerspace and began the everyday slap-stick shtick the best friends performed that they have come to know as a normal school day.
So caught up they all were in the show that they failed to notice the newcomer until Kaito miscalculated a somersault and slammed right into the visitor.
And the prankster, having noted the fact their guest was female and vaguely registering the deep navy blue uniform and assuming the stranger was some student of the school that had walked into the wrong class, and assuming once again said student was at least aware of the reputation of his particular class and of him in particular, he flipped the dark blue skirt of her uniform…
… expecting a flash of bright color and cheery print to meet his indigo eyes…
… and was disappointed to see black shorts.
"Nani?!" The perverted prankster recoiled, unaccustomed to the foresight of this strange girl.
"BAKAITOOOOOOOOO!" Aoko screamed, shocked at her brash best friend's behavior.
"WHAT, AHOUKO?!" Kaito retaliated. What was the big deal? This was normal Kuroba Kaito-behavior.
Aoko stood in indecision. Kaito had been acting… weird, lately. His level up in mischief worried her even more.
Kaito had a bad habit of doing that. Whenever something troubled or unsettled him, he would keep it to himself, guard his problems jealously like a bit of forbidden knowledge, and mask his worries with cheer and shenanigans.
"That was rude, Kaito-san." A weirdly unflustered tone cut in-between the stalled argument.
It was strangely familiar.
Cool.
Calm.
Unfazed.
Unafraid.
Kaito did a double-take on his failed attempted victim.
His second look proved his previous speculations dead, freaking, wrong.
No wonder Aoko freaked out when he flipped the highschooler's skirt. She wasn't a student of this school. In fact, she should have no idea whatsoever of him or his infamy with tricks and girls.
Nor did should she have any business in Ekoda of all places.
The girl belonged in Beika.
Lavender met lapus lazuli.
And for a holy moment, his prized poker face slipped off, revealing a very much human expression of astonishment, disbelief…
And relief.
"Tantei-chan?" He whispered in an almost breathless voice, startling the class with his almost unprecedented slip of emotion before he caught himself.
But he still couldn't stop staring.
The girl tilted her head sideways, looking at him wonderingly.
"'Tantei-chan'? I apologize, Kaito-san, but I'm afraid you might be mistaken."
The gracious guest extended her hand towards him.
"I am, however, a detective. Kudou Shinichi."
Aoko, the only one among the surprised spectators to still have retained some control of her neural impulses, started at the name.
"Kudou Shinichi? The famous detective Kudou? The Kudou girl who disappeared two years ago on a case? The same Kudou who was the star witness of the multiple cases against that shady organization just last year? That Kudou?"
Their visitor smiled sheepishly, scratching one cheek nervously in response.
Aoko nudged Kaito with the end of her mop.
"Kaito! Apologize to this girl immediately!"
Yet Kaito had seemed to have been momentarily paralyzed.
The class of 4-B, in contrast, buzzed and bustled with an overload of ecstatic energy.
"I've heard of that case!"
"Over five-hundred people were tried just here in Japan alone!"
"And another two-thousand suspects all over the world!"
"They said it couldn't have happened without their star witness!"
Aoko, embarrassed for her childhood friend, sidled up to the detective's side.
"I am so sorry-"
"Un. I apologize, Ojou-sama. Please forgive a fool for his rude, raucous behavior."
And there was Kaito working up the good ol' Kuroba charm, his hand wrapped around the famous detective's, all charm and sunshine.
He placed a warm dry kiss upon the back of her hand like a knight towards a much respected and loved lady, smiling up at her in a manner that only a cruel, heartless witch could deny.
And even Akako couldn't resist him.
He released her hand and put his forefinger and thumb together beneath her downward palm, and to the untrained eye, it would appear as though had plucked the dew-spotted white rose right out of the palm of her hand.
"A token of my sincerest apologies and purest of intentions, Ojou-sama."
He moved to pin the bloom behind her ear before she stopped him, taking the flower and placing it in the front pocket of his uniform.
"I appreciate the gesture, Magician-san, but I'm sorry. I can't take this." She smiled, patting the flower on his chest.
"The last time I took a flower from a magician, it was loaded with sleeping gas, so yeah."
Kaito looked abashed before grinning at her once again.
"I guess you always have 20/20 foresight, huh, Detective Kudou. You even guard against guys like me." His eyes darted down towards her skirt, indicating the black shorts rather than the colorful underwear that would usually greet him whenever he flipped a skirt.
"Well, actually I didn't exactly plan against an event such as that. Though, in hindsight, that should've been my first thought whenever I wear shorts underneath my uniform. The real reason was because when you chase murderers, kidnappers, thieves and drug dealers on a daily basis, I really didn't want to add 'accidentally flashing someone' to my list of what-to-worry-about when I already have to think about 'not getting shot at' and 'welfare of the hostage', Magician-san."
Kaito raised an eyebrow.
"'Magician-san? Isn't that a bit presumptuous, Holmes-chan? Anyone could've done that rose trick." He smirked at her.
She, an epitome of tranquility, took hold of his hand and pointed to his fingertips calmly with none of the flustered flushing that usually marked any female during any encounter with Kuroba Kaito, either from frustration, fawning or embarrassment.
"Your fingertips. I felt it when you held my hand. The palm is smooth but the fingers are covered in scars and cuts, whilst the tips are calloused. A magician, who has practiced to the pinnacle of perfection over the course of years. And perfection attained at last. No new cuts and the wounds have not been reopened,the scars healed. A sign of mastery."
She released his hand and smiled at him in a half-lidded expression of contentment and serenity, whilst the class looked upon her in awe and the the object of her study and scrutiny in stupefaction.
"Your dedication to your art is remarkable."
4-B turned their attention to their resident magician, usually the embodiment of cool and nonchalance, the personification of lightheartedness and care-freedom.
Kaito looked at his observer in an almost predatory manner, violet eyes turning indigo, such a subtle shift from shocked to charming to contrite to teasing to challenging.
"Well, if you don't like a flower, maybe a trick instead?" He smirked at her, a fanged little grin, dark eyes and even darker aura.
The entirety of 4-B turned in horror and shock at their classmate.
Then Shinichi unexpectedly giggled.
"You know, for a second there, you reminded me of Kaitou Kid." She snickered.
"The reason I don't trust magicians." She added as her laughter faded, her melancholy evident.
Kaito inexplicably produced a deck of cards, probably from the same place where Aoko's magic mop came from.
"Maybe I can convince you otherwise, Meitantei-chan."
Kaito began to shuffle to cards.
"Say stop, Meitantei-chan."
"You've been through like, what? Five nicknames with me in five minutes."
"I think I'll stick with 'Meitantei-chan'. It suits you, Little Miss Great Detective."
"Stop." And none of them were sure whether she was referring to the shuffling or the shuffler.
Kaito stopped shuffling and Shinichi plucked one card from the middle of the deck while Kaito did the same.
"1, 2, 3... GO!"
They faced the onlooking crowd with the cards atop their heads.
The bystanders who stood with bated breaths burst out laughing.
Kaito laughed along with them, turning his card around.
It was a joker with the words, "NICE TRY", in black, bold letters.
Shinichi's laughter made him turn towards her, and in her own hand was an ace of spades.
"Where are-
"These, Magician-san?" Shinichi continued to laugh; brandishing Kaito's missing ace of hearts with, "MASTER MAGICIAN", spelled on it and the original ace of spades with, "DETECTIVES ARE BORES", scribbled on.
"Never trust a magician." She cited like a mantra.
"How did you..." Kaito trailed, unaccustomed to being repeatedly, consecutively and expertly being outwitted and unmasked.
"If I never stop looking at you, then you can never trick me." She retorted.
She handed the cards into his frozen hands.
"Well, that was all well and fun, but I must get back to work. I just came by to pick up a Hakuba Saguru from this class."
And as if one organism, the entire class turned to their blond British Sherlockian classmate calmly reading "A Scandal In Bohemia" in the back of the class, completely uninterested in the hullabaloo.
"Yes? And what may I be of service to you?" Hakuba stood to stride towards his fellow detective.
"I just came to inquire of the transferring procedure here. My absence caused some... difficulties with my graduation. I was thinking of taking the prerequisite classes needed here. They said in the admissions office to come see you, Hakuba-kun."
"Ah, yes. The famous Kudou from the Black Organization Case." Hakuba smiled small, slightly intimidated to meet a colleague of such esteem and reputation.
Shinichi gave a slight laugh. "I should say the same of you, Hakuba Saguru, Kid crusader."
Hakuba took a discreet look at his suspect. "I would call you his Adler, Miss Heisei Holmes."
Eying the novel, Shinichi turned ecstatic. "I truly do hope to be the Heisei Lupin's Irene Adler."
Hakuba's eyes sparkled at the sign that his fellow investigative mind was also a Sherlock fanatic, yet fell at thought she could be a Kid fan as well.
"Holmes could love no woman lest her presence clouds his deductions as passion is known to do. Lupin has no capacity to love, for he is a thief whose only interest is in the chase. Nothing more."
"I hope not to be his woman but his great defeat."
Hakuba hooked the woman's arm around his.
"Where have you been all my life?"
And he began to spirit the girl away, about to sweep her off her feet and regale her with Holmes and cases.
But as they made their way to the door, the female Heisei Holmes stopped and turned towards her apparent rival.
"Kaito-san..."
Kaito, first the spectacle then the spectator, turned his violet-indigo eyes towards her.
"Yes, Meitantei-chan?"
Her brown bangs hid her large, limpid lapuz lazuli eyes.
And he had a sudden, desperate, desire to see those azure eyes.
"A poker face works as well for a detective as it does for a magician. To shroud intentions and mask knowledge. To prevent a criminal of knowing he has been caught before the arrest, or the crowd from finding out when the strings are being pulled or the switch being done."
"However, that is all a poker face is supposed to do. For protection, discretion."
She looked at him and it felt as though she was looking right through him.
"Do not lose yourself in your facade. Do not allow the lines to blur, between the man you are..."
She looked him in the eye, a sizzle of blue-gas flames burning against simmering indigo.
"... and the man you're pretending to be."
She turned her back to him, taking slow, careful steps towards the sliding door and her escort.
"Do not allow your identity to be ripped away when the mask slips off."
She took one last look at him, her large, limpid lapuz lazuli eyes on him, and smiled.
The she shut the door.
Leaving an uncharacteristically silent, stoic Kuroba Kaito.
The second Hayashi Inoue, Physics teacher and adviser of Class 4-B, came to the door of her class that morning and found a distinct lack of screaming, stomping, laughter and general chaos, it worried her.
And when she actually entered the room, she found the entire class looking, staring, gawking at her most mischievous yet charming student, Kuroba Kaito, which was normal, oh so normal, yet what was particularly distressing was that he wasn't doing anything.
Just sitting there. Looking out the window.
And usually, that was cause for alarm and horror. A quiet, contemplative Kaito meant someone was going to be very, very hurt or much, much humiliated very much soon.
In fact, he was so well-behaved that during rollcall and the lecture, the entire class couldn't take their eyes off of him.
It was such an agonizing tension to the point she almost demandedKaito goof off right that second or be sent to the Principal's office.
This was sooooooooo entirely, completely like Kaito. To be oh so perfectly innocent and sweet to make a spectacle of himself.
Just sitting there. Looking out the window.
It was freaking them the hell out, honestly.
Kaito was the ever-ready ray of sunshine of the class.
But for some weird reason, that detective girl utterly stupefied their master prankster.
They weren't scared. Ordinarily, a Kaito who managed to sit still and stay quiet instead of bouncing of the walls and being a general source of chaos and noise was a terrifying thought.
But the encounter with that Kudou girl somehow assured them pranking wasn't priority of his thinking processes today.
Funny how it was usually Kaito who made the big bang impressions on the people he met, not the other way around.
And though girl was the complete opposite of Kaito. Poised, dignified and mature with this air of wisdom and ancestry that was beyond them, in a way, she and Kaito were on the same level.
Weird.
Kaito was a carefully concealed turmoil of emotions.
He was relieved, glad, she was okay.
But why was she pretending like she didn't know him?
Well, she really didn't know him per se... In his civilian identity, at least.
But he knew she knew who he was now!
And what was with all that, huh?
Know-it-all snarker...
He didn't back down from her when she was seven and he wasn't going to now, either!
Just wait and she'll see!
Besides, she wasn't any fun anymore.
And she was soooo much cuter when she was just little chibi detective, Tantei-chan.
So what if her hair was longer now and looked a lot more brown than black, especially when she was in the sunlight.. What was she, some sort of golden girl of the sun or something?
And just because he could see her eyes better now those stupid glasses were out of the way, and just because he sort of liked how much bluer her eyes seemed to be now that he didn't have to stoop down to get a good look at them, doesn't give her the right to look at him like she knows the anatomy of his soul or something!
And... and.. and what's with those words of hers? Psychoanalyzing him like that in front of his classmates like some fun little mystery she was trying to solve, all cool and decisive...
Oh, just wait and she'll see all right!
That smart little mouth and those pink lips, dry and chapped, was she taking enough fluids? Was she getting herself into more trouble now?
That would be so like her, worrying him to the point he couldn't concentrate. Exactly what she had been doing for the past six months she disappeared as Edogawa Christie with that flop of a cover story of going to America to live with her parents.
Bullshit, she was in witness protection with the FBI, taking down the Black Organization. He should know. He hacked their system when Tantei-chan stopped attending his heists.
Troublesome girl...
Oh, that's right. She was with Hakubaka, filling out the forms for her transfer.
Would she be transferred to his class? Most likely. Hakubaka'll probably make sure of that, seeing as he had found the rare combination of Sherlockian and anti-Kid...
They'd probably make a cute couple...
... by Hell's standards.
Hakubaka might interest her now, but he'll bore her eventually.
Shinichi was an adrenaline junkie. She might be a bookworm, an introvert, a recluse, but she wasn't the type to aways play it safe and stick to the rules. She was a rebel with a cause, not one to shy away from the action. She was rational, reasonably cautious, but a risktaker, a daredevil.
He glared at the joker in his hand, the same one she used to replace the one he prepared.
Along the white border of the back of the playing card, written in tiny, legible letters:
Sorry I disappeared on you, Kaitou-san.
A woman after his own heart, without even knowing it.
The thought stopped his raging rants dead cold.
And he slammed his head into the window repeatedly.
Too bad he couldn't use the "she's-seven-you-sick-pedo" excuse again...
Aoko was already concerned for Kaito's pride and ego but the moment he stopped staring blankly into space and started bashing his head into the window, she worried even more for his sanity.
All this over this detective girl, Kaito...?
Author's Ramble: So, yeah... To all those who have watched the first episode of "Magic Kaito", this was based on that episode. I guess you could say it was a comparison between Kaito's relationship with Aoko, and his relationship with Shinichi, if he was ever a she. I think instead of falling all over herself and for his tricks, Shinichi'll be able to outsmart and trick him back. Plus, I think she'd be gracious in her victory, smug but gracious. After all, she would never actually hurt or humiliate him on purpose, just poke fun, you know? After all, the real canon Shinichi is actually all cool and his experience with the Black Organization just made him even more mature and contemplative, humble.
Review?