Destiny's Game
Prologue: Parting
A throng of people passed them without so much as sparing a second glance, hastening towards the airport or to the shopping center that stood a couple of blocks from it. The harsh winter wind blew in the opposite direction, lifting a man's hat off his head. The smallest of the group caught it, returned it with a smile, and was acknowledged before completely forgotten as the elder walked away.
The four boys trudged on slowly, leisurely, not bothering to keep up with the hurrying crowd that streamed at either side. Among them, a silver-haired lad suddenly stopped and glanced at his watch - 4:30 PM - before mumbling something, to which his companions nodded their heads in reply. Rubbing his freezing hands together, he made his way across the street towards the café on the other side, the others right behind him.
Their bodies were warmed as soon as they stepped into the dimly lit place. They pulled off their cloaks all at the same time and draped them across the back of the café's chairs. One of the joint's waitresses soon came and they ordered drinks, coffee for the two older ones and hot chocolate for the two younger. She sauntered away with a surprise look on her face as she realized that the one she mistook for a gorgeous blonde was actually male.
"So, what do you kids plan to do with your lives now?" the tallest of them asked off-handedly, looking at the crumpled piece of paper he held in his hand. Three hours more and his plane would arrive, that flying contraption that would be taking him to his destination. With any luck, not only him but also someone who is sharing this table as well.
"Leorio, that is such a pointless question. Haven't we discussed our plans over and over already for about two weeks now?" the blonde one sitting next to him, the one accidentally mistaken for a girl, said sarcastically in reply. Taking out from his bag the blue square of soft cardboard that served as his ticket, he sighed exasperatedly and held it up in front of the face of the one addressed as Leorio.
Nelira Airport - 7:00 PM
You won't be using that ticket with what I have to say, he thought, hiding a smirk. "Gon, what time is your plane due?" He asked, turning towards the one in front of him and casually draping an arm on top of the chair besides his. He felt leather as his arm made contact with a cloak, whose owner was scowling at him.
"5:30 - within exactly an hour," the black-haired boy replied, oblivious to what was happening between the older ones. "Killua, we best get ready."
"Sure," easily agreed the one who sat beside him he has called Killua. "Uh, Leorio, whatever you did, you better say sorry."
"Huh?" He uttered, bewildered.
"Kurapika," the good-looking kid explained curtly, tilting his head a bit towards the person sitting across the table from him - the golden-haired boy.
Leorio faced him, his arm retreating from its position behind the boy's head instinctively at the look on the guy's pretty face, and the glare he was giving him. If looks really could kill, he would be six feet under now as the boy shot daggers at him with his eyes. They were showing slashes of crimson as they do when he gets . . . angry? Why is Kurapika angry with him for placing his arm across the young man's shoulders? He does it often anyway . . .
"I'm really going to miss you both," Gon said, disturbing the sudden silence that fell over that table after that remark on what Leorio have done. He was mainly saying this to the two older boys as Killua was going to stay with him on his journey, but nonetheless, got an immediate reaction from his best friend.
"Don't worry, Gon. It'll all turn out fine," Killua reassured him, taking another sip of his chocolate. Surprisingly enough, the two hasn't yet started a food fight - in this case, a chocolate drink fight - like they usually do when eating. Even the two's usual talkativeness and annoyingness seem to have been subsided a great deal today, Leorio noted, as he told the kid that Killua was right and they'll meet again.
The eldest boy's eyes shifting to the last member of the group, he found the other silent and lost in thoughts. As if his gaze was the cue for him to walk out of his notions, his eyes came into focus upon Gon, reaching across the table to hold the younger boy's hand. "To meet again is inevitable," Kurapika said, tightening his grip for a moment and then loosening it. "We are, after all, hunters. We'll see each other again in the most unlikely situations and places." He let go and leaned back on his chair, giving the boy a smile that rarely graces the blonde's stoic facade. The other grinned back, and wiping the expression off after making sure the kid has gained the attention of the second youngest one, Kurapika retreated back to his own world of thoughts.
Leorio frowned as he looked over at his best friend. He was too quiet today, too . . . cold. He shook his head. Maybe he's just imagining it. Smiling, he started to reminisce. Kurapika has always been the silent and impersonal, and he's just thinking that the other's being the epitome of the extremities of these things today because of what happened last night . . .
"I guess this it. Tomorrow will be our last day together," Leorio declared, his statement replied with nods from his three friends. His eyes softening, he continued, "I'll really miss you guys. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be a doctor now and I wouldn't have been allowed on this mission to help the . . ." His voice trailing off, he blinked back tears and managed not to spill them, as he made up for his blunt statement by raising his goblet of red wine and looking pointedly at each of his friends. "To us!"
"To us!" And the soft clinking of glass against glass echoed in the room.
"You know, Leorio," Kurapika started, looking thoughtfully at the amber liquid and swirling it around and around in his drinking glass. "Gon and Killua are under-aged. They're not supposed to be drinking this stuff." Tilting the glass towards his pale lips, he finished it in one gulp.
"As far as I can guess, so are you," Leorio easily pointed out, refilling his and his friend's goblets. He glanced at the two younger boys who were still slowly sipping theirs, one making a face at the taste and the other looking as if he's drinking plain water. "You know, guys, that stuff isn't supposed to be drank like that. Amateurs. You're first time to drink wine?"
"Yes," Gon admitted, finishing his and wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "It's awful! How can you two stand this?"
"You're just too young to appreciate it . . . Killua?" Leorio asked, glancing at the other kid.
"Not really," the young boy answered, playing with his drink not unlike to what the blonde was doing. "There are stuff like these at our mansion, and father makes us have it during some dinners. It's just that I can't really tell what's good with it that people like. I was trying to sense its taste while I slowly drank but . . . it's totally tasteless."
Gon looked appalled. "It tastes bitter," he stated simply, shaking his head as Leorio moved to refill his glass.
"Maybe it's because you've been trained to resist poison," Kurapika pointed out, much to the bewildered expressions that graced his friend's faces. "After all, wine is alcohol, toxic and consuming. A form of poison you may say, slowly killing you . . . what am I talking about? I think I'm getting drunk."
Everyone in the room laughed, the sound filling the room and echoing down the halls. It was ironic, if one would consider the situation, the fact that they'll be parting ways tomorrow right at their face.
"It's late. I'm going to bed. Night, everyone." Gon yawned and started to get up from his chair.
"Me too," Killua said, finishing his wine and going after Gon.
"Night, you two," Leorio said vaguely.
Thick silence hung about the room after the younger ones left. Leorio looked over at his companion, who was having a staring game with the scarlet liquid in his glass. Breaking the spell, Kurapika raised and emptied it into his mouth.
"Kurapika," he called, not receiving any response from the boy. "Oi, Kurapika!" he shouted, reaching out and shaking the other's shoulder a bit. "I think you're right. The wine is getting to you. You better rest." He took the goblet from his hands and set it down next to the now half-empty wine bottle.
"I'm fine," he said, standing up and walking over to the couch where his friend sat. There was a slight depression in the soft mattress, marking the spot were Killua previously was, and he plopped down on it, tilting his head slightly back over the top edge of the thing's backrest. "What now? What do you want to talk about?"
"What do you plan to do now?" Leorio asked, glancing at his friend whose eyes were still focused on the ceiling.
"What do you mean?" Kurapika replied, not once looking at the other. "You know what I'm going to do. I have to retrieve all the scarlet eyes of my tribe."
"Be careful, Kurapika," Leorio said melancholically, the fact that the four of them really are parting hitting him now.
He never really believed it was possible. They've been through so much together for everything to end just like that. The small talks the four them have been holding for weeks now all seemed like an illusion. That the plans being made were like that of a small child's dreams, something of the future to talk of but not really to pursue, that they will change somehow.
"You too," Kurapika replied after a while, raising his right chain-clad hand to fix his tousled hair. "Though I don't know what kind of hazards will befall a doctor in a hospital. Your life will really be boring from tomorrow and hence, Leorio, utterly boring."
The older boy laughed at the younger one's remark, earning himself a shake of the head from the other. Yes, it was true. His journey would be the dullest among the four, the path of a doctor in a poor village he had chosen to take. "Sure," he replied carelessly as his laughter subsided.
Kurapika sighed next to him, a wistful look crossing the beautiful young man's face. "But your life will be peaceful," he said in a monotone in attempts to keep his voice from cracking. "And you won't have to fight anymore just to survive or fulfill your goals."
"Not that I ever was much of a fighter and I never really did fight," the other pointed out, taking his hand. "You've been talking of yourself, Kurapika. A person needing to fight, kill, and hurt others as well as himself just to succeed."
"Yes, and that person's not ever going to get the peace he wants," Kurapika agreed, moving closer to the older boy and looking up to look him in the eyes. "You know, Leorio, after my tribe was killed, I never had any friends, not until I met you and Gon and Killua. Five long years of loneliness and grief I've been alone. I still may be as cold as ever, but I feel like I've changed so much. I just can't believe I'll have to simply leave the three of you like this." Placing his head upon Leorio's shoulder, he felt the guy's breathing hitch, though why he cannot tell. There have been many nights they found themselves in this position, if not closer, a significance that he really accept the other as an intimate friend to whom he can pour out his thoughts come nightfall. Heaven knows he'll die before he does these things to anyone save his three friends.
"Why don't you just let go?"
"I can't. I'm bound to it, this is my destiny . . . Leorio, it hurts so much," came the teen's pained voice as Leorio felt something wet and hot dampen his shirt - a tear. The gods, Kurapika was crying.
"Hush," he crooned, trying to soothe the hurts the boy carries. The soft sobbing continued, as much as he feels the other trying to control them in vain. Tears glittering like diamonds flowed down Kurapika's ashen cheeks, leaving wet traces that soon disappeared as more of the salty liquid streamed from the scarlet eyes. Leorio could only do so much as to hold the boy tighter, making the space between them a little bit too small for comfort, his arms encircling the lithe body in a loose comforting hug.
After a bit many tries of comprehending the other's words made incoherent by the sobs escaping him, Leorio finally understood what Kurapika was muttering over and over.
I want to be free.
Feeling the body he was holding shake violently yet again, his own tears leaked from soft brown orbs. Hell, Kurapika doesn't deserve this so much pain, no one does, but especially him. He'd come to know the guy a lot through the passage of time, fell for him inevitably, and loved him more the more he gets to unravel the pretty boy's secrets and hurts. Damn him if he chooses to just sit like this without doing something.
But what he was doing was exactly what he has sworn not to. Damn him.
Slowly regaining composure, Leorio felt Kurapika go still. That's when he realized that he had the other in his arms already, sitting in his lap with the beautiful face buried in his chest. He tried to still himself as the thought of being too close to the one he wishes the touch of entered his mind, the cursed thing begging his body to yield in turn. He tried to pull the boy away before his body finally gives up all together and he does something he's sure to regret, but he found the other's arms around his neck, holding him closely against him.
"I don't want to loose you," came Kurapika's sweet voice against the front of his shirt. "Without the three of you, hatred and grief will consume me again. That's my greatest fear now, and my greatest pain."
"You're not going to loose us," he said defensively, a bit too harsh in his endeavor to control his desires. Hating himself for thinking such shameless things at a moment wherein Kurapika needs him, he made his lower lip bleed by biting into it too sharply and dismissed the accursed thoughts from his mind. "You're not going to loose us," he repeated, one hand stroking the fine strands of blonde hair upon the boy's head.
"I will . . . tomorrow," he responded, finally lifting his face up to look at Leorio's. "It'll hurt again," he said, tears starting to form again around his eyes and finally tumbling down his cheeks.
"Shh," he silenced him, wiping the beads away with a hand; the act being futile as more came. They were too close that he felt the other's warm sweet breath fan across his cheeks, making him dizzy. Delirious was what it was that he found his still bleeding lips upon pale pink ones a second later.
Heavens forbid it that Kurapika suffer again. If there is anything he could do to prevent the hands of pain touching his love once more, he'll go to all extent just to carry out whatever that was.
And that was the exact reason why he was out around two in the morning, after the younger boy has fallen asleep in his arms, and he has placed him in his own bed with a gentle kiss, driving towards the airport in a frenzy to buy the last ticket there was to his flight - he's going to take Kurapika with him if it was the only way to save him from the hurts. Normally, he wouldn't have enough courage even in dreams to do it, but the other's confessions and kiss made his will considerably greater.
And he's going to ask him right after the kids have left.
"Leorio?" a voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up from the staring game he was having with his cup of coffee and met large brown eyes reflecting concern.
"Uh, yeah?" he responded uneasily, obvious to the fact that it wasn't Gon's first call and that everyone around the small table was looking at him skeptically. "What?"
"Where have you been?" Killua asked. "Kurapika's been waving a hand in front of your face for a while now, and Gon and I have been calling you, but you won't move. It's like you're not seeing us at all."
"Sorry," he said to everyone, his eyes downcast. "I was just . . . thinking," he replied, a slight blush heating his cheeks which he quickly hid. "What time is it already?" he asked, wondering how long he has been remembering and staring unfocusedly like an idiot.
"Five o'clock," Kurapika answered, turning to face the person in front of him again, Killua, and sipping his coffee.
Darn! He's been out of concentration a half hour already?
"Uh, Gon?" he asked, remembering suddenly. "Aren't you supposed to be on your way to the airport now? Your flight is in another half hour."
"Yeah," Gon agreed, finishing his chocolate and pulling on the sleeve of the one beside him. "Killua, let's go. It's time already."
"Okay."
Leorio looked away, lest the others see the tears forming in his eyes. He heard a sob, and moments later, felt movements beside him as Kurapika walked around the table to hug the crying dark-haired boy. He looked up to see Killua shifting in his seat to place a hand on both of his friend's shoulder, and everything came to a blur as unshed tears accumulated in his eyes.
"I guess this is it," Gon said, his voice cracking. "I'll miss you two . . . Leorio?" he called as the tall boy got out of his seat and made his way to his friends, allowing his tears to flow free. Kurapika let go of the brown-eyed boy and turned his attention to the silver-haired kid instead, and the eldest boy clutched the youngest to him tightly after the couple of seconds of silence that passed between them.
"You better go," the blonde finally stated, wiping his own tears and willing his crimson eyes to turn back to blue. Parting from Killua and gently separating his two other friends apart, he stood up and sat back down on his chair, raking a hand through his disheveled hair. Flashing a smile, he titled his head towards the door. "I don't think it'll be good if we come with you. It's either one or both of you will come rushing back down from the plane or one or both of us running after you . . . it's better this way."
"I guess so," Killua spoke for the two of them, putting on his backpack and helping Gon get his on as Leorio redeemed his place next to Kurapika. "Yes, we better." And the kid was out of his seat and running away fast with his head down. The three looked at him, as he stood at the entrance to the café, silent and still, leaning against the cold marble wall next to the door and facing away from them.
"Yeah," Gon finally agreed, standing up. He walked towards his best friend, tapping him on the shoulder as he reached his place, and turned to wave back at the two they left behind at the table. They walked out of the door and kids grinned at the older boys through the window, the smiles gracing their features the last ones the two will see for a long, long time . . .
"Uh," Leorio started, facing Kurapika and finding the boy looking away from him, his blues now suddenly flat gray. "Kurapika?" he called, amazed at the coldness of the other's eyes. "You alright? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine," the boy answered, not bothering to glance at him. That's not what bothered Leorio though, Kurapika's tone was what shook him to no end. A voice as piercing as ice, unearthly, like it came from the Angel of Death himself.
"You don't sound fine. What's wrong?" he asked, his voice dripping with concern and understanding. When his statement was replied to by nothing but a frigid look from the other, he decided what's bothering the younger man and made haste to tell him of his plans now. "I get it, you're thinking about parting, huh?"
"What in the hell are you talking about?" the blonde asked, giving him a chilled glare. "Parting? As in, separating?"
"Yes, like what we talked of last night," Leorio replied easily, leaning closer. "Don't' worry. I've got it settled. You're coming with me and you won't have to be alone or hurting anymore." He leaned a bit closer still, one hand holding the back of the younger boy's head, his lips now a few inches from the other's.
"And who are you to decide?" Kurapika snapped, pulling away and shaking the hand off his head. "Are you starting to loose your mind, Leorio? I am in no way coming with you."
"What?" he uttered in reply, confusion engraved in his facade. He thought this was the right thing to do, that it was what was the best for them both, what his Kurapika wanted somehow. "But you said last night -"
"What I said last night?" Kurapika silently raged in that same cold monotone. "I told you last night that we will have to part with each other today, that we have our own journeys. Where in the world did this thing about me coming with you come from?"
"But," Leorio started, then tried another tack. "You told me it would hurt you, that pain will take you again." He looked away, not wanting to see the hatred and disbelief etched in the other's face. Whether it was another of the blonde's cold masks or his true feelings was beyond him.
"Yes, and it will completely destroy me. So what?"
"And you're fine with that?"
"Yes, I have a mission to fulfill."
Leorio's head snapped up at the sharp, determined statement he just heard. The emotions churning inside him were a mixture of confusion, sadness, pain, and appall.
How can he stand this? Why is he so attached to that damn vow he has to avenge his tribe and return their eyes? Hasn't the whole cursed matter damaged his soul enough already? Why don't he just let go and let everything free? Forget and then just walk away?
To all the thoughts and questions filling Leorio's head, all he could voice out was the simple question of "why?"
"Because I can't!" came the furious answer, almost desperate if not the owner of the voice hadn't held himself in check. "Don't you see? I have to finish this. I need to find all the scarlet eyes and bury them back at Rukuso. It's the only way I can honor my tribe's death and be able to live with myself. I can't just escape from everything like that!"
"Then I'm coming with you," came the silent reply, hands snaking their way underneath the table to hold pale shaking ones of the person beside him. "Then take me with you and let me help."
"No," Kurapika declined shortly.
"But," he started to protest, only to be silenced as the blonde gave his hand a slight squeeze. He felt the chains as they made contact with his skin, they felt cold.
"You mustn't," the younger one continued, pulling his hands away. "We've chosen our paths. If you wish to accompany me in mine, you'll only leave yours with no one treading it. If we're to be together, it's either my or your dreams to be left unfulfilled . . . I cannot concentrate on my goals as long as you're with me and neither can you."
"I don't care!" shouted Leorio, looking the other straight in the eyes. "I love you, Kurapika," he blurted out without meaning to, almost slapping himself the moment the words came out.
The blonde looked away, not allowing the other to catch a glimpse of his face and see in his eyes the true emotions he feels. "But I don't love you . . . and I never will," he answered coldly before running out of the café into the now dark, desolate street.
Leorio's eyes followed the figure of the one he loved walking towards the airport, the blonde's words slowly breaking his heart in half as he remembered them and the tone in which they were spoken in.
But I don't love you . . . and I never will.
TBC
Standard Disclaimers applied. The idea for this fic is by pixie-atme (per usual).
Prologue: Parting
A throng of people passed them without so much as sparing a second glance, hastening towards the airport or to the shopping center that stood a couple of blocks from it. The harsh winter wind blew in the opposite direction, lifting a man's hat off his head. The smallest of the group caught it, returned it with a smile, and was acknowledged before completely forgotten as the elder walked away.
The four boys trudged on slowly, leisurely, not bothering to keep up with the hurrying crowd that streamed at either side. Among them, a silver-haired lad suddenly stopped and glanced at his watch - 4:30 PM - before mumbling something, to which his companions nodded their heads in reply. Rubbing his freezing hands together, he made his way across the street towards the café on the other side, the others right behind him.
Their bodies were warmed as soon as they stepped into the dimly lit place. They pulled off their cloaks all at the same time and draped them across the back of the café's chairs. One of the joint's waitresses soon came and they ordered drinks, coffee for the two older ones and hot chocolate for the two younger. She sauntered away with a surprise look on her face as she realized that the one she mistook for a gorgeous blonde was actually male.
"So, what do you kids plan to do with your lives now?" the tallest of them asked off-handedly, looking at the crumpled piece of paper he held in his hand. Three hours more and his plane would arrive, that flying contraption that would be taking him to his destination. With any luck, not only him but also someone who is sharing this table as well.
"Leorio, that is such a pointless question. Haven't we discussed our plans over and over already for about two weeks now?" the blonde one sitting next to him, the one accidentally mistaken for a girl, said sarcastically in reply. Taking out from his bag the blue square of soft cardboard that served as his ticket, he sighed exasperatedly and held it up in front of the face of the one addressed as Leorio.
Nelira Airport - 7:00 PM
You won't be using that ticket with what I have to say, he thought, hiding a smirk. "Gon, what time is your plane due?" He asked, turning towards the one in front of him and casually draping an arm on top of the chair besides his. He felt leather as his arm made contact with a cloak, whose owner was scowling at him.
"5:30 - within exactly an hour," the black-haired boy replied, oblivious to what was happening between the older ones. "Killua, we best get ready."
"Sure," easily agreed the one who sat beside him he has called Killua. "Uh, Leorio, whatever you did, you better say sorry."
"Huh?" He uttered, bewildered.
"Kurapika," the good-looking kid explained curtly, tilting his head a bit towards the person sitting across the table from him - the golden-haired boy.
Leorio faced him, his arm retreating from its position behind the boy's head instinctively at the look on the guy's pretty face, and the glare he was giving him. If looks really could kill, he would be six feet under now as the boy shot daggers at him with his eyes. They were showing slashes of crimson as they do when he gets . . . angry? Why is Kurapika angry with him for placing his arm across the young man's shoulders? He does it often anyway . . .
"I'm really going to miss you both," Gon said, disturbing the sudden silence that fell over that table after that remark on what Leorio have done. He was mainly saying this to the two older boys as Killua was going to stay with him on his journey, but nonetheless, got an immediate reaction from his best friend.
"Don't worry, Gon. It'll all turn out fine," Killua reassured him, taking another sip of his chocolate. Surprisingly enough, the two hasn't yet started a food fight - in this case, a chocolate drink fight - like they usually do when eating. Even the two's usual talkativeness and annoyingness seem to have been subsided a great deal today, Leorio noted, as he told the kid that Killua was right and they'll meet again.
The eldest boy's eyes shifting to the last member of the group, he found the other silent and lost in thoughts. As if his gaze was the cue for him to walk out of his notions, his eyes came into focus upon Gon, reaching across the table to hold the younger boy's hand. "To meet again is inevitable," Kurapika said, tightening his grip for a moment and then loosening it. "We are, after all, hunters. We'll see each other again in the most unlikely situations and places." He let go and leaned back on his chair, giving the boy a smile that rarely graces the blonde's stoic facade. The other grinned back, and wiping the expression off after making sure the kid has gained the attention of the second youngest one, Kurapika retreated back to his own world of thoughts.
Leorio frowned as he looked over at his best friend. He was too quiet today, too . . . cold. He shook his head. Maybe he's just imagining it. Smiling, he started to reminisce. Kurapika has always been the silent and impersonal, and he's just thinking that the other's being the epitome of the extremities of these things today because of what happened last night . . .
"I guess this it. Tomorrow will be our last day together," Leorio declared, his statement replied with nods from his three friends. His eyes softening, he continued, "I'll really miss you guys. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be a doctor now and I wouldn't have been allowed on this mission to help the . . ." His voice trailing off, he blinked back tears and managed not to spill them, as he made up for his blunt statement by raising his goblet of red wine and looking pointedly at each of his friends. "To us!"
"To us!" And the soft clinking of glass against glass echoed in the room.
"You know, Leorio," Kurapika started, looking thoughtfully at the amber liquid and swirling it around and around in his drinking glass. "Gon and Killua are under-aged. They're not supposed to be drinking this stuff." Tilting the glass towards his pale lips, he finished it in one gulp.
"As far as I can guess, so are you," Leorio easily pointed out, refilling his and his friend's goblets. He glanced at the two younger boys who were still slowly sipping theirs, one making a face at the taste and the other looking as if he's drinking plain water. "You know, guys, that stuff isn't supposed to be drank like that. Amateurs. You're first time to drink wine?"
"Yes," Gon admitted, finishing his and wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "It's awful! How can you two stand this?"
"You're just too young to appreciate it . . . Killua?" Leorio asked, glancing at the other kid.
"Not really," the young boy answered, playing with his drink not unlike to what the blonde was doing. "There are stuff like these at our mansion, and father makes us have it during some dinners. It's just that I can't really tell what's good with it that people like. I was trying to sense its taste while I slowly drank but . . . it's totally tasteless."
Gon looked appalled. "It tastes bitter," he stated simply, shaking his head as Leorio moved to refill his glass.
"Maybe it's because you've been trained to resist poison," Kurapika pointed out, much to the bewildered expressions that graced his friend's faces. "After all, wine is alcohol, toxic and consuming. A form of poison you may say, slowly killing you . . . what am I talking about? I think I'm getting drunk."
Everyone in the room laughed, the sound filling the room and echoing down the halls. It was ironic, if one would consider the situation, the fact that they'll be parting ways tomorrow right at their face.
"It's late. I'm going to bed. Night, everyone." Gon yawned and started to get up from his chair.
"Me too," Killua said, finishing his wine and going after Gon.
"Night, you two," Leorio said vaguely.
Thick silence hung about the room after the younger ones left. Leorio looked over at his companion, who was having a staring game with the scarlet liquid in his glass. Breaking the spell, Kurapika raised and emptied it into his mouth.
"Kurapika," he called, not receiving any response from the boy. "Oi, Kurapika!" he shouted, reaching out and shaking the other's shoulder a bit. "I think you're right. The wine is getting to you. You better rest." He took the goblet from his hands and set it down next to the now half-empty wine bottle.
"I'm fine," he said, standing up and walking over to the couch where his friend sat. There was a slight depression in the soft mattress, marking the spot were Killua previously was, and he plopped down on it, tilting his head slightly back over the top edge of the thing's backrest. "What now? What do you want to talk about?"
"What do you plan to do now?" Leorio asked, glancing at his friend whose eyes were still focused on the ceiling.
"What do you mean?" Kurapika replied, not once looking at the other. "You know what I'm going to do. I have to retrieve all the scarlet eyes of my tribe."
"Be careful, Kurapika," Leorio said melancholically, the fact that the four of them really are parting hitting him now.
He never really believed it was possible. They've been through so much together for everything to end just like that. The small talks the four them have been holding for weeks now all seemed like an illusion. That the plans being made were like that of a small child's dreams, something of the future to talk of but not really to pursue, that they will change somehow.
"You too," Kurapika replied after a while, raising his right chain-clad hand to fix his tousled hair. "Though I don't know what kind of hazards will befall a doctor in a hospital. Your life will really be boring from tomorrow and hence, Leorio, utterly boring."
The older boy laughed at the younger one's remark, earning himself a shake of the head from the other. Yes, it was true. His journey would be the dullest among the four, the path of a doctor in a poor village he had chosen to take. "Sure," he replied carelessly as his laughter subsided.
Kurapika sighed next to him, a wistful look crossing the beautiful young man's face. "But your life will be peaceful," he said in a monotone in attempts to keep his voice from cracking. "And you won't have to fight anymore just to survive or fulfill your goals."
"Not that I ever was much of a fighter and I never really did fight," the other pointed out, taking his hand. "You've been talking of yourself, Kurapika. A person needing to fight, kill, and hurt others as well as himself just to succeed."
"Yes, and that person's not ever going to get the peace he wants," Kurapika agreed, moving closer to the older boy and looking up to look him in the eyes. "You know, Leorio, after my tribe was killed, I never had any friends, not until I met you and Gon and Killua. Five long years of loneliness and grief I've been alone. I still may be as cold as ever, but I feel like I've changed so much. I just can't believe I'll have to simply leave the three of you like this." Placing his head upon Leorio's shoulder, he felt the guy's breathing hitch, though why he cannot tell. There have been many nights they found themselves in this position, if not closer, a significance that he really accept the other as an intimate friend to whom he can pour out his thoughts come nightfall. Heaven knows he'll die before he does these things to anyone save his three friends.
"Why don't you just let go?"
"I can't. I'm bound to it, this is my destiny . . . Leorio, it hurts so much," came the teen's pained voice as Leorio felt something wet and hot dampen his shirt - a tear. The gods, Kurapika was crying.
"Hush," he crooned, trying to soothe the hurts the boy carries. The soft sobbing continued, as much as he feels the other trying to control them in vain. Tears glittering like diamonds flowed down Kurapika's ashen cheeks, leaving wet traces that soon disappeared as more of the salty liquid streamed from the scarlet eyes. Leorio could only do so much as to hold the boy tighter, making the space between them a little bit too small for comfort, his arms encircling the lithe body in a loose comforting hug.
After a bit many tries of comprehending the other's words made incoherent by the sobs escaping him, Leorio finally understood what Kurapika was muttering over and over.
I want to be free.
Feeling the body he was holding shake violently yet again, his own tears leaked from soft brown orbs. Hell, Kurapika doesn't deserve this so much pain, no one does, but especially him. He'd come to know the guy a lot through the passage of time, fell for him inevitably, and loved him more the more he gets to unravel the pretty boy's secrets and hurts. Damn him if he chooses to just sit like this without doing something.
But what he was doing was exactly what he has sworn not to. Damn him.
Slowly regaining composure, Leorio felt Kurapika go still. That's when he realized that he had the other in his arms already, sitting in his lap with the beautiful face buried in his chest. He tried to still himself as the thought of being too close to the one he wishes the touch of entered his mind, the cursed thing begging his body to yield in turn. He tried to pull the boy away before his body finally gives up all together and he does something he's sure to regret, but he found the other's arms around his neck, holding him closely against him.
"I don't want to loose you," came Kurapika's sweet voice against the front of his shirt. "Without the three of you, hatred and grief will consume me again. That's my greatest fear now, and my greatest pain."
"You're not going to loose us," he said defensively, a bit too harsh in his endeavor to control his desires. Hating himself for thinking such shameless things at a moment wherein Kurapika needs him, he made his lower lip bleed by biting into it too sharply and dismissed the accursed thoughts from his mind. "You're not going to loose us," he repeated, one hand stroking the fine strands of blonde hair upon the boy's head.
"I will . . . tomorrow," he responded, finally lifting his face up to look at Leorio's. "It'll hurt again," he said, tears starting to form again around his eyes and finally tumbling down his cheeks.
"Shh," he silenced him, wiping the beads away with a hand; the act being futile as more came. They were too close that he felt the other's warm sweet breath fan across his cheeks, making him dizzy. Delirious was what it was that he found his still bleeding lips upon pale pink ones a second later.
Heavens forbid it that Kurapika suffer again. If there is anything he could do to prevent the hands of pain touching his love once more, he'll go to all extent just to carry out whatever that was.
And that was the exact reason why he was out around two in the morning, after the younger boy has fallen asleep in his arms, and he has placed him in his own bed with a gentle kiss, driving towards the airport in a frenzy to buy the last ticket there was to his flight - he's going to take Kurapika with him if it was the only way to save him from the hurts. Normally, he wouldn't have enough courage even in dreams to do it, but the other's confessions and kiss made his will considerably greater.
And he's going to ask him right after the kids have left.
"Leorio?" a voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up from the staring game he was having with his cup of coffee and met large brown eyes reflecting concern.
"Uh, yeah?" he responded uneasily, obvious to the fact that it wasn't Gon's first call and that everyone around the small table was looking at him skeptically. "What?"
"Where have you been?" Killua asked. "Kurapika's been waving a hand in front of your face for a while now, and Gon and I have been calling you, but you won't move. It's like you're not seeing us at all."
"Sorry," he said to everyone, his eyes downcast. "I was just . . . thinking," he replied, a slight blush heating his cheeks which he quickly hid. "What time is it already?" he asked, wondering how long he has been remembering and staring unfocusedly like an idiot.
"Five o'clock," Kurapika answered, turning to face the person in front of him again, Killua, and sipping his coffee.
Darn! He's been out of concentration a half hour already?
"Uh, Gon?" he asked, remembering suddenly. "Aren't you supposed to be on your way to the airport now? Your flight is in another half hour."
"Yeah," Gon agreed, finishing his chocolate and pulling on the sleeve of the one beside him. "Killua, let's go. It's time already."
"Okay."
Leorio looked away, lest the others see the tears forming in his eyes. He heard a sob, and moments later, felt movements beside him as Kurapika walked around the table to hug the crying dark-haired boy. He looked up to see Killua shifting in his seat to place a hand on both of his friend's shoulder, and everything came to a blur as unshed tears accumulated in his eyes.
"I guess this is it," Gon said, his voice cracking. "I'll miss you two . . . Leorio?" he called as the tall boy got out of his seat and made his way to his friends, allowing his tears to flow free. Kurapika let go of the brown-eyed boy and turned his attention to the silver-haired kid instead, and the eldest boy clutched the youngest to him tightly after the couple of seconds of silence that passed between them.
"You better go," the blonde finally stated, wiping his own tears and willing his crimson eyes to turn back to blue. Parting from Killua and gently separating his two other friends apart, he stood up and sat back down on his chair, raking a hand through his disheveled hair. Flashing a smile, he titled his head towards the door. "I don't think it'll be good if we come with you. It's either one or both of you will come rushing back down from the plane or one or both of us running after you . . . it's better this way."
"I guess so," Killua spoke for the two of them, putting on his backpack and helping Gon get his on as Leorio redeemed his place next to Kurapika. "Yes, we better." And the kid was out of his seat and running away fast with his head down. The three looked at him, as he stood at the entrance to the café, silent and still, leaning against the cold marble wall next to the door and facing away from them.
"Yeah," Gon finally agreed, standing up. He walked towards his best friend, tapping him on the shoulder as he reached his place, and turned to wave back at the two they left behind at the table. They walked out of the door and kids grinned at the older boys through the window, the smiles gracing their features the last ones the two will see for a long, long time . . .
"Uh," Leorio started, facing Kurapika and finding the boy looking away from him, his blues now suddenly flat gray. "Kurapika?" he called, amazed at the coldness of the other's eyes. "You alright? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine," the boy answered, not bothering to glance at him. That's not what bothered Leorio though, Kurapika's tone was what shook him to no end. A voice as piercing as ice, unearthly, like it came from the Angel of Death himself.
"You don't sound fine. What's wrong?" he asked, his voice dripping with concern and understanding. When his statement was replied to by nothing but a frigid look from the other, he decided what's bothering the younger man and made haste to tell him of his plans now. "I get it, you're thinking about parting, huh?"
"What in the hell are you talking about?" the blonde asked, giving him a chilled glare. "Parting? As in, separating?"
"Yes, like what we talked of last night," Leorio replied easily, leaning closer. "Don't' worry. I've got it settled. You're coming with me and you won't have to be alone or hurting anymore." He leaned a bit closer still, one hand holding the back of the younger boy's head, his lips now a few inches from the other's.
"And who are you to decide?" Kurapika snapped, pulling away and shaking the hand off his head. "Are you starting to loose your mind, Leorio? I am in no way coming with you."
"What?" he uttered in reply, confusion engraved in his facade. He thought this was the right thing to do, that it was what was the best for them both, what his Kurapika wanted somehow. "But you said last night -"
"What I said last night?" Kurapika silently raged in that same cold monotone. "I told you last night that we will have to part with each other today, that we have our own journeys. Where in the world did this thing about me coming with you come from?"
"But," Leorio started, then tried another tack. "You told me it would hurt you, that pain will take you again." He looked away, not wanting to see the hatred and disbelief etched in the other's face. Whether it was another of the blonde's cold masks or his true feelings was beyond him.
"Yes, and it will completely destroy me. So what?"
"And you're fine with that?"
"Yes, I have a mission to fulfill."
Leorio's head snapped up at the sharp, determined statement he just heard. The emotions churning inside him were a mixture of confusion, sadness, pain, and appall.
How can he stand this? Why is he so attached to that damn vow he has to avenge his tribe and return their eyes? Hasn't the whole cursed matter damaged his soul enough already? Why don't he just let go and let everything free? Forget and then just walk away?
To all the thoughts and questions filling Leorio's head, all he could voice out was the simple question of "why?"
"Because I can't!" came the furious answer, almost desperate if not the owner of the voice hadn't held himself in check. "Don't you see? I have to finish this. I need to find all the scarlet eyes and bury them back at Rukuso. It's the only way I can honor my tribe's death and be able to live with myself. I can't just escape from everything like that!"
"Then I'm coming with you," came the silent reply, hands snaking their way underneath the table to hold pale shaking ones of the person beside him. "Then take me with you and let me help."
"No," Kurapika declined shortly.
"But," he started to protest, only to be silenced as the blonde gave his hand a slight squeeze. He felt the chains as they made contact with his skin, they felt cold.
"You mustn't," the younger one continued, pulling his hands away. "We've chosen our paths. If you wish to accompany me in mine, you'll only leave yours with no one treading it. If we're to be together, it's either my or your dreams to be left unfulfilled . . . I cannot concentrate on my goals as long as you're with me and neither can you."
"I don't care!" shouted Leorio, looking the other straight in the eyes. "I love you, Kurapika," he blurted out without meaning to, almost slapping himself the moment the words came out.
The blonde looked away, not allowing the other to catch a glimpse of his face and see in his eyes the true emotions he feels. "But I don't love you . . . and I never will," he answered coldly before running out of the café into the now dark, desolate street.
Leorio's eyes followed the figure of the one he loved walking towards the airport, the blonde's words slowly breaking his heart in half as he remembered them and the tone in which they were spoken in.
But I don't love you . . . and I never will.
TBC
Standard Disclaimers applied. The idea for this fic is by pixie-atme (per usual).