I didn't deserve you, back then
I was angry, so much I couldn't see anything else
Angry at myself, so weak, so helpless
Angry at the world, this planet that allows such weeds to grow on it
Angry at you, for being what I want to be, so effortlessly
So angry, so spiteful…and the red swallowed everything
And yet…despite my temper and how I lashed out at you daily, you loved me
You'd hold me when the anger gave way to tears
When I'd stumble into our room covered in bruises but refusing to say why
When I came back one day, covered in blood
When I'd scream and rage at basically nothing
And the day when my dreams crashed to the ground like fragile glass
You held me, wiped away my tears, and loved me
I didn't deserve you, back then
I thought it was clear when we went back there
And you saw where I grew up, saw how they'd still, still even then
Ridiculed me, hissed poison into the air
But you still you loved me
And…when I saw you laying there…sprawled limp in a pool of ever growing blood…that's when I knew I loved you back
Then years later, as you carried us to your doom, me helpless lost in the green
I whispered it everyday
Murmured my words into your dreams
I tried to reach for you in my own way
Did you hear me?
I didn't deserve you, back then
When you saved me, at the cost of you
I never got to say it you know
But…if you're listening
"Zack…I love you."