Someone suggested this, so i wrote it. THIS IS A SPIN-OFF of BLACK MESA THE BLACK DRAGON and is in NO way canon to that story. This is in an alternate reality that I'll call the Gorgeous Toothless reality. Also, this is an obvious parody of Gorgeous Freeman, so...
Anyway's...let's get into...
GORGEOUS TOOTHLESS - CHAPTER 1: THE SUIT
Snotlout stepped forward and presented the HEV Mark 5 to Toothless.
"TAH DAH!" He says and then looks up curiously, he then sees a headcrab launch at him. When he opens his eyes, he sees the headcrabs underside.
"AHHAHHAHAHAH!" Snotlout says while running away, Doctor Kleiner then looks over and sees his headcrab purring. He then lets out a whoop of joy.
Toothless continues staring at his HEV suit before suddenly, Alex comes over and rubs up against him.
"Don't worry, i won't look," Alex says and watches as Toothless slowly but surely moves over to his HEV suit, and Alex's face gets derpier by the second.
Toothless lays a hand on his HEV suit, before throwing it at Alex, sending her flying out of the room. Toothless walks over to the HEV suit and dusts it off.
He try's sticking his arm in, then forcing his entire lower body in, and he eventually gets his head stuck in the armor while running.
Meanwhile, everyone watches one and suddenly, Lamar pops up from below. Kleiner then pushes her down with an "Ahh" sound, and Snotlout looks down shocked...
Alex was standing in a teleportation device.
"Hey! You gonna let Toothy throw the switch?" Alex asks.
"Ahahah, NO," Kleiner says and throws the switch. Alex then gets mad.
"Hey ahh yeah..." Alex says while raising a hand to point, then Alex is teleported.
"Ahh, well, that's a tremendous relief. Toothless, as soon as your in position, we'll send you to Hiccup's" Kleiner says and then sees Toothless walk in, with only underwear on.
"Toothless? Please Toothless, put on your suit..." Kleiner says and Toothless faces him with a look.
"POWER ARMOR IS FOR PUSSYS," Toothless says in a very very deep voice.
"Oh dear, oh my god, look at that posterior" Kleiner says and starts daydreaming, Toothless raises one of his eyebrows curiously.
"My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't" Kleiner repeats while Toothless gets into the teleport and Snotlout gets in position.
"Hey! Hey, he's back! HEY COME ON!" Snotlout yells and Kleiner snaps back to reality, or at least, the wacky reality.
"Oh dear, your right, if you'd be so kind..." Kleiner says and Snotlout raises his eyebrow, and it somehow makes a mechanical sound.
"Yeah, right," Snotlout says after scoffing, he then turns to Toothless and pulls out an HEV suit.
"At least get that suit, Toothless" Snotlout says and Toothless faces away from him.
"FUCK YOU," Toothless says and Snotlout lets the suit drop to the ground.
"Gee thanks," Snotlout says slowly and then throws the switch, then Lamar comes out from a vent and looks around.
"What's happening?" Kleiner asks and Snotlout starts waving his arms around.
"ITS YOU PET THE FRICKING HEAD HOPPER!" Snotlout yells and Lamar jumps at Toothless during the teleport.
Toothless and Lamar end up in the desert, Toothless somewhat cries while Lamar walks off.
"Thank you," Lamar says and Toothless' face goes into shock right before being teleported again.
He opens his eyes and see's Alex, he gulps loudly.
"Hey, doc!" Alex says while getting a face, alarms start going off.
"What's going on!?" Alex asks and Eli continues slamming and pounding on his keyboard alongside Hiccup.
"THEIRS SOME BULLSHIT!" Both Eli and Hiccup say at the same time while pointing at the keyboard. Suddenly, Mossman rolls her chair over and starts typing on her keyboard like a drone.
"I am not sure, there seems to be a massive..." Mossman says before dissolving into gibberish, then Alex slaps Mossman.
"Shut up! And be glad you're still some use to us!" Alex says and Mossman picks her keyboard back up and continues typing.
"Something is drawing him away," Mossman says and Toothless teleports again, Eli then looks at the portal.
"Damn, that's a cold ass hunky," Eli says and then Hiccup nudges him.
"He me brother" Hiccup says before going to pounding his head into the keyboard.
Toothless then finds himself in a metal office, with Doctor Breen doing something really inappropriate. Suddenly suspense music starts playing and Toothless uses his tail and his paws to cover his lower body.
"Well well, if it isn't...Gorgeous Toothless" Dr. Breen says and stands up, something showing and Toothless grabbing his earplates and gasping in shock at what Breens doing. Suddenly, big reveal music plays
"I require dat ass and tail imminently," Breen says and Toothless teleports.
"Well fuck, back to porn then!" Breen says.
Toothless then finds himself back in Klienrs lab and Snotlout throws Toothless' hev suit at him.
"DAMN! Get that thing on! Go!" Snotlout says and Kleiner gets happy.
"Well, Toothless, i see your HEV suit..." Kleiner starts and Snotlout turns to face him.
"You're pissing me off, doc," Snotlout says and Toothless is teleported again.
Toothless is back at Hiccup's place and Eli gets started.
"Well come on now, you need to get out of here," Eli says and Mossman starts typing while spouting gibberish.
"ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT!" Alex says and slaps Mossman again, Hiccup also slams his head into the keyboard again.
Toothless is teleported again.
Toothless finds himself back in the metal office, he looks around and spots Dr. Breen holding a pistol, he then moves his lower half a bit. At least he has pants on this time.
Toothless gasps as multiple soldiers come out from behind Breen. Suddenly more soldiers appear from the elevator and from behind objects, Toothless gasps again.
Suddenly someone starts knocking, and then the door is blown open, revealing a hundred soldiers. Toothless gasp screams.
Suddenly he sees multiple gunships outside the windows, and he gets on his knees.
"NO!" Toothless roars and then realizes that the entire planet is surrounded by gunships and spaceships.
He looks back at Doctor Breen, who started monologuing.
"Well it looks like your completely surrounded, I've struggled 20 years to become the earth leader blah blah, i can't have you ruining it blah blah, i was beaten as a baby boy blah blah," Breen says and Toothless tilts his head with a small purr.
"Obvious monologue blah blah, you escaping blah...WHAT?" Breen says and Toothless teleports away while flipping off Dr. Breen.
"But...my plan was SO perfect," Dr. Breen says while getting depressed and sad about not getting dat ass and tail.
"Then, where is he?" Kleiner asks and Eli looks behind Kleiner to see Toothless pounding on the window.
"Behind you!" Eli says and Kleiner turns around, to see Toothless pounding on the window.
"Turn off dat shit!" Eli says and Kleiner freaks out.
"Toothless, you must get out of here! RUN!" Kleiner says while making a heart shape with his hands, suddenly, a floating camera takes a picture of Toothless.
"Next time, Gorgeous, next time," Dr. Breen says while looking at the photo of Toothless and Kleiner, he then sees that Toothless is flipping him off.
"Son of a..." Dr. Breen says.
Someone request this, please tell me if you want a...sequel chapter.
This is JustANormalHTTYDFan, over and out.