Dear Professor Dumbledore.
It has come to my attention that Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry is slightly lapse when it comes to a few mandatory safety regulations.
The most terrifying of which is the staircases in your school. In the last year alone there has been seven different cases of students falling upwards of thirty feet when descending /ascending a stair and it starts to move, now I do understand that it is a tradition in your school for students to prove themselves by getting to class on time with the staircases and other obstacles trying to foil them, and that all the students who fell off or tripped down the stairs were expertly treated by your fantastic nurse and have since made full recoveries, but regardless, it is unsafe and causing your students and their families a great amount of easily avoidable pain and suffering.
And it is on the request of certain individuals that will not be named, and a long past due mandatory centenial general report that I make a thorough investigation on the school and its policies to ensure a safe environment for teachers and students alike. You may expect me to take up temporary residencies within the school grounds between July the fifth and the start of term. You may expect me to stay from the end of term up to a full seven years, as these reports are rather extensive, and tend to take awhile to be completed. However you will be notified when it is complete, and whether or not your school passes inspection, And your teaching license renewed.
Hope you are having a wonderful day
Cygnus Stixrood, Department For Permits And Filing.