Thank You VannaUsagi13 for giving me the idea for this sequel for Distancing Yourself From Me. I know you had suggested it for that story, but I thought that it fit better here? XD Anyway, thanks a bunch! Please enjoy the new story guys and please review so I can see if this is a good beginning. I'm liking the idea in my head, but I'm a bit uneasy about it. Please tell me what you think! Anyway, some other notes before we begin...

Notes: POV is back to Shizuo's in this story. I know I jump around a lot. They're adults in this story so I'll be trying to make them stay in character if I can. Please forgive me if they aren't at some points. Chapter sizes will vary.

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara. If I did, it probably be a Yaoi series and since it's not, I'm not the owner of it :'3

OMG, was just listening to the song, It's been a while by Staind and it kind reminds me of the chapter. Heh, ya I'm a dork.

People have told me that the first time you fall in love is when you're really happy. I had never thought it was true until I actually fell in love…with my childhood friend.

To be honest, we weren't really "best" friends. We'd fight and bicker, but it was because he was such a prick all the damn time. He'd constantly cause me trouble by pulling stupid pranks or by sending punks after me. He'd do stuff to other people too, causing them trouble because he liked seeing their reactions to things. But all of a sudden that dynamic had changed really drastically. I began wanting that little bug near me all the time and feelings started stirring in me whenever he was around. I got so frustrated with these feelings that I began to think that I was getting sick with something. I went to my friend, Shinra for advice and he just gave me that stupid grin he always liked to wear.

"You're in love, Shizuo."

I was in love with my friendly enemy…I denied it at first. Then things were really starting to irritate me and so I wanted to distance myself away from him. That plan was a failure since the little snake had plans of his own and, at the time, I didn't know that he was in love with me too. But that was a long time ago…

After the summer of that year when we got together he moved away without telling me. I should have known something was going on with him. He was acting really weird for the few weeks before he suddenly moved away (or disappeared is how I would put it because no one told me he moved away until a week later). He was becoming very clingy, more than usual and one night when we were watching a movie he had suggested something that I didn't think he'd suggest so readily, especially since, at the time, we were only together for six months.

Flashback

"Shizu-chan…" He says nervously as I pull away from him after kissing him passionately. "Shizu-chan…can we…"

"Can we what, flea?" I ask him as I kiss his neck carefully. He pushes me slightly and looks up at me with a serious expression. He blushes a little and looks to the floor to avoid my gaze.

"We've been dating for a while now…" He starts saying as he smiles at me. "And…I've been thinking that…I think I'm ready."

"You're ready?" I ask curiously, not really understanding what it is he's ready for. He glares at me and smacks the side of my head.

"I know I call you a protozoan and an idiot, but shouldn't you be trying to prove me wrong, Shizu-chan?" He says with a laugh, but I can still sense that he's nervous. The look in his eyes is different than usual. He's usually quite confident and calm, but the way he's looking at me, the way that he's acting is making me uneasy. "I'm talking about making love." I suddenly tense up and start laughing nervously.

"W-what…?" I ask I feel myself getting dizzy. God, this subject isn't my forte. Kasuka asks me about sex sometimes and it's really nerve wracking because it really makes me uneasy and nervous. I mean, it's not so much that I don't think about doing that sort of thing with the flea, but we haven't been dating too long. It just seems too soon to me. I can't wrap my head around it. I wouldn't know what to do, well actually I kind of do know what to do…but that's beside the point. I really don't want to rush this sort of thing especially since this is Izaya we're talking about. He talks about this sort of thing sometimes, but he told me once that he wants to wait until we get married (not because of religious beliefs or anything like that, but because he really wants to get married and he thinks that tempting me with sex will bribe me to propose to him).

"You heard me Shizu-chan." He says with a smile. I turn my head away from him and sigh.

"I thought you said you were gonna wait until we got married. I know you told Celty that that was your plan in making me propose to you." I say with a glare. Ever since we got together he's been really close with Celty since Shinra and her have been together longer and Izaya usually asks her about romantic crap that I don't care about.

"I know…but what if we never get the chance to? I mean, Shizu-chan is probably gonna take his sweet time in proposing to me. I really want my first time to be with Shizu-chan." Izaya says as he puts his head under my chin and nuzzles against my chest. Oddly enough, I really like it when he does this, especially when he's just showered since he smells like peaches. "Please Shizu-chan." He pleads seductively. The thoughts in my head tell me not to, but the bulge in my pants says otherwise. Why does he always have to do this to me?

"Fine…it seems like you're not gonna let me do anything until I tell you yes anyway…"

"Nope!" He says joyfully as he takes my hand and leads me upstairs. Why am I doing this? Don't I want this to be extra special? So why did I agree so hastily just because of my urges? Shouldn't I be stronger than that? Damn it, damn it, damn it!

We head upstairs and go into my room. Luckily Kasuka isn't here since he went on a date with his girlfriend Hina. My mom's gone too; she's working the late shift. I curse them for giving us the perfect opportunity for this sort of thing.

He holds onto my hand and brings me to my bed. He lies down and brings me on top of him, but cutely just plays with my tie that I'm wearing. I had a job interview in the morning so I had to dress up nicely. Izaya was the one who fixed my tie since every time I try to I get frustrated and rip it.

Izaya runs his hands through my hair and looks up at me as if I were a figment of his imagination and I could disappear at any moment. I hold onto his other hand and kiss it tenderly. He's probably surprised that I can be so gentle, but I'm glad that I can be so unpredictable because it keeps him on his toes. He likes knowing everything and it makes me happy that I can be such a challenging puzzle for him.

I suddenly act out of impulse and slide my hand under his shirt and lift it up slightly. Izaya flinches, but he eases into my touch. He hums a little and starts kissing my neck.

"Why have you been acting so funny lately…?" I ask him as I nervously fumble my hands over his chest. He suddenly stops and looks at me with a nervous smile.

"W-what a-are you t-talking about?" He stutters cutely.

"You're really nervous…I haven't seen you this nervous since we got together. You're even stuttering like that day." I point out as my hand travels to one of his nipples. I play with it gently and then with my other hand bring his shirt over his head. I bring my head down and begin licking his nipple.

"S-stupid b-brute…" He manages to say as he moans softly beneath me. My mind is going crazy right now. I guess it wasn't wise for me to bottle up all these feelings…Now I feel like a damn pervert. "I-I don't e-even know w-what y-you're t-talking about…I-I h-haven't b-been a-acting f-funny…"

"Liar." I say as I start sucking. With my other hand I start rubbing his other nipple.

"Ne…" He mutters. "I-I…I don't want Shizu-chan to hate me…"

"W-what are you talking about…?" I ask uncomfortably as I start feeling the tightness in my pants become a bit more unbearable. I sigh and kiss his lips tenderly. "I'd never…hate you…" Tears start to bubble in his eyes. I kiss the tears away and hold his hand tightly. "I love you…" I sink to his neck and begin giving him butterfly kisses.

Although he looks ready for me to advance further, when I unzip his pants and begin pulling them down he gets really tense. He looks at me as if he were a hurt puppy and moans a little as I start to rub his hardened member. He keeps saying my name at random times when he feels really good. But when I suddenly start taking off my clothes he gets kind of uneasy and scared. We're already in our boxes by this point though and I'm really hesitant to stop since my hard-on is getting really uncomfortable.

When I'm about to pull down his boxers, Izaya suddenly sits up crying like before. He shakes his head and tells me he's really sorry.

"I-I c-can't d-do it…" He says as he begins to hiccup. "I-I w-want t-to…for Shizu-chan…b-but I'm a-afraid."

Why would he force himself through this sort of thing for me? I don't get it. I kiss his forehead and whisper to him that he doesn't have to push himself to do anything he's not ready for.

"I'm not mad, flea." I tell him as I hold him. But my comforting words aren't having much effect on him this time. He seems really upset about something, maybe something other than this, but I don't really want to force him to tell me. I rock him a little in my arms and surprisingly it helps me calm down too, well in a different way, but it works.

"You're gonna hate me…" He repeats again. "You're gonna hate me."

And he was right. After he disappeared I felt my heart break in two. I remember the day that he disappeared. I was ignorant enough to think that he was just out sick. Then some of my classmates began gossiping that he had moved away unexpectedly. I didn't want to believe it at first because I felt like Izaya was trustworthy and he wouldn't do that to me, not when he told me all that stupid romantic stuff about being my first everything. Then Shinra was the one who had informed me of Izaya's leave. He hadn't known at the time, but he got the news from a text message he had received from him personally, from the phone number he used to have before he changed it (probably to cut all ties from me). The text read "Shinra, I'm sorry for not informing you sooner, but you probably already have noticed my absence at school. I hadn't wanted to tell anyone of my family and me leaving, but it's happened and I just want to tell you that I'm still alive, ha. I hope to meet up with you one day."

He hadn't even left me a text message or even called from wherever he was to keep in touch with me. I was hoping that he would, but he didn't. In the text message he sent Shinra he didn't even dare to mention to Shinra to tell me anything. I was hurt. I was mad. I was heartbroken. I should have known something like that would happen. I should have never opened my heart to that bastard. Even now I regret my mistake. He ruined my life!

I started smoking after that to fill the void and to "heal" my depression. Shinra and Celty were really worried about me so they suggested that after graduation I should get a job, to keep my mind off the whole thing. So, that's what I did, but after getting over the whole depression, I-can't-live-without-them phase of "breaking up," I kind of transitioned into the I-fucking-hate-them-for-dumping-me phase. Well, maybe that's not even a phase, but it is for me. It even upsets me when I hear his name. But inside my heart I think there's still a spot reserved only for him. If I ever do see him again, though, I'll fucking break him in two!

Now (me being twenty-four already) I have a stable job as a bartender, not because years ago I really took Izaya's words to heart (about me probably looking handsome in a bartender outfit), but because my brother Kasuka helped me get the job. All the other jobs I tried to get…um…weren't really interesting. Yeah, I can't really lie. I screwed up…My temper made me explode while I was on the job because customers or co-workers pissed me off and then…I would get fired. But it's alright now. I mean, it's been six years since Izaya left without telling me, but I'm sort of over it.

Now and again I'll think about the good times we had, but I then get really upset about it too. I know I shouldn't hold a grudge, especially on something that happened six years ago, but you never really forget your first love even if it was a snake like Izaya. Sometimes I'll have dreams about him, some nice, some not-so nice and some…really weird ones too…But I mean it's understandable to me since I'm still a virgin…I know it's lame and unexpected. I'm not still hoping that he'll come back and we'll have our first time together. He's probably already…done it…with someone else already…He's probably moved on.

You know what? Fuck him; he can have sex with whoever he wants to. I'm supposed to be the one who doesn't giving a flying fuck about him, so that's what I'm going to continue to do. Fucking flea is making me sound like a damn lovesick girl. It doesn't matter to me if he's still a virgin or not. A 'first time' isn't that special anyway.

"I really want my first time to be with Shizu-chan."

Damn it…I can still hear his voice echoing those words to me. Why do they bare so much meaning to me? What should that even mean to me now, anyway? He's gone.

[How are you doing?] Celty asks me with her PDA as I drink some tea that she served me. I look away from her and sigh. Shinra had asked me to come over to do this stupid routinely checkup or whatever. Since he's now an official, unofficial doctor (all he really has is the lab coat) he wants to celebrate by probing me. He just finished my checkup a few minutes ago and told me to stick around for tea. Celty is like my therapist so when I come over here I get two "doctors" bothering me.

"I'm fine. You don't have to keep asking me." I say bitterly. I look into the tea and see my reflection in it. "After all this time, it's just a memory now. I just still can't believe that he'd do that to me after all that we'd been through. I mean he should have fucking told me if he had to move away!" Suddenly the cup breaks in my grasp. I curse before picking up the pieces. "Sorry…"

[Maybe you should start dating again.]

"No, I rather not go through that again…Besides…everyone's scared of me…" I say sadly as I sigh and then feel a stabbing feeling on my arm. Shinra shows his face and holds up the syringe that he had injected me with.

"Don't worry; it was just something to calm you down." He explains with a smile. I give him a glare as I rub my arm which stings. "I know how you get when Celty asks you about Iz—" Celty elbows him really hard, which shuts him up before he can finish that fucking name. "Ah…right, right never mind…" He coughs and waves his hand as if saying 'forget what I said.'

[You should rest here for the night. Shinra did just inject you with something to calm you down. What if you feel dizzy or faintish later?] Celty's PDA reads.

"I'll be fine." I say as I get up. "I have work in an hour, so I'm gonna head out." I say as I fix my bartender suit. I head out after saying my goodbyes to Celty and Shinra. In this town there's a bunch of shady characters at night, but I'm not afraid because I have my strength to fall back on. While I'm thinking of that, I suddenly hear my phone ring so I dig it out of my pocket and find a new message from some unknown number. I open the message and look at it curiously.

I'm back.

"What?" I say to myself after I read the message. Before I could respond to it and see if I could get the person to say who they are, I hear police sirens echoing and then they sound like they're getting closer and closer. There's no way they could be coming for me, right? I haven't done anything. But, the police cars suddenly park all around me and I suddenly tell myself that I'm in some deep shit. Two policemen handcuff me and try to control me to restrain me further, but I'm struggling to get free and telling them that I'm not the guy they're looking for and that I haven't done anything wrong.

Then I see someone come out of one of the cars parked in front of me. My eyes widen as I noticed the slim figure, the jet black hair, and those intense-looking eyes. How could I forget such a face? And then there was that smirk. That damn smirk...How could I ever forget that?

There's the man whom I hate with all my heart, but the one who I once loved with all my heart too.

Izaya Orihara.

A/N: OMG! You guys probably saw that coming XD Yeah, I'm pretty bad at surprises. Anyway, please review and tell me if it's a good start or not! Tell me if I'm doing something wrong too. Thanks you guys, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!