"Let me cut the crap and just say that I hate you for whatever you have done to me since I was born. Also, thanks for the truth-potion-laced lemon drops you have offered me, they taste like Snape's Shampoo," Harry greeted Dumbledore after coming back from Gringotts and getting all the knowledge he needed from the kind and helpful goblins.

The various little objects littered around his office were silent, as they had been since he had accepted the blood adoption to the Black Family, which was secretly a good family and only served Voldemort because reasons.

"Quite alright, my boy, and let me make a customary long winded dialogue about how the path you have chosen is dark and how it will make you a dark lord when all you have done is disobey me once."

"I'll nod my head in an attempt to keep my changed ideology a secret, because I always agreed with you before I went to Gringotts."

Harry smiled.

Dumbledore smiled some more.

"It will be at this point that I try to enter your mind by legilimency. And obviously you would've done some ritual to shield your mind so that I, who has been using this magic for literally decades, wouldn't be able to see your memories."

Fawkes shows up with a grand flame and perches behind Dumbledore.

"I am either a bird who is too stupid to realize that Dumbledore is evil, or he has somehow trapped me into obeying his every word." Harry was able to understand the squaks of Fawkes only because he was a Phoenix animagus himself.

"So which one are you?" Harry asked.

"Yes." The Phoenix tweeted.

Harry nodded.

"Me too!" shouted the Sorting Hat, even though it was supposed to sleep through the whole year, only waking at the first of September.

"Nobody cares," Harry reassured him.

Dumbledore smiled.

Harry smiled some more.

"Now will be the moment when I will try to leave your office, and you will try to stop me by telling me how I couldn't possibly disobey you because inheritance-wizengamot-guardian-prophecy-bullshit."

"Which I know you will find a loophole in because as a politician for more than half a decade, I still can't make concrete laws and plans."

"And I know about that loophole, but I will still try to show as if I am suddenly under your complete control."

"Yeah yeah yeah. I would buy into your story."

"After I leave here, I would take a very revolutionary stance of... changing absolutely nothing. I mean, I could use clues you have given me to rescue more of my friends from your influence..."

"Don't forget the Weasleys who are obviously evil."

"Yes of course, as I was saying, I could rescue them, but I would rather save myself."

"Oh and don't forget to change the allegiance of the elder wand to yourself, by firing an unexpected spell which I won't be able to stop despite the fact that I have been studying magic for over a century."

"Of course, and I'll be sure to curse Snape somehow while leaving the castle."

"And I'll be sure to keep the vital information, that the scar in your head is a Horcrux, a secret."

They shook their hands, and a magical blast shook the castle.